Author's note: Thank you for all the reviews. Don't worry, Prince Gil will eventually notice the things he had done wrong. =)

The quote "I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life." Is a quote I used from Buffy the vampire slayer. I just borrowed it. I don't own it. =)

BTW...It's my birthday! I'm finally thirteen years old. =)

Disclaimer: CSI isn't mine.

Cruel Realizations

Prince Gil slowly walked up the stairs. Because they knew that Sara was kidnapped, the party had been postponed for another date. He would have been relieved if only Sara wasn't missing.

He knocked on Sara's door as if expecting that someone would answer but he knew nobody would answer and open the door he was knocking on. Possibly forever, depending on Prince Vincent's plans for her.

They figured out that Prince Vincent was the one who kidnapped her because well, he was the only one who had a motive to get her. That and the guard confessed and told them that Prince Vincent ordered him to bring his horse to a certain place when the guard heard of the news that Sara was kidnapped. The guard swore that he didn't know what Prince Vincent was planning all along.

Prince Gil opened the door, sighing. He felt alone. He missed Sara's laugh and her absolutely breath-taking smile.

He shook his head. Being lonely will not help matters. Sara needed him to be strong. Sara needed him to find some clues as to where Prince Vincent brought her.

Prince Gil found out about the addendum and that saddened him. Knowing that after all these days, all these weeks, he was after all allowed to be with Sara.

How stupid he had been, hurting Sara for nothing!

He sat down on Sara's bed, sniffing one of Sara's pillows. He sighed. He could still smell her scent. It was lavender.

He noticed a diary from the corner of his eye.

It must have been revealed when he got the pillow.

He knew he shouldn't open the diary but he couldn't help it.

He reasoned that they were looking for clues after all.

He opened it and started to read the latest entry.

Tonight is the night I dread. Prince Gil's ball.

I knew that I shouldn't feel these feelings for him, but still. Even when he hurt me too many times already, but what can I do?

Feelings cannot be controlled. If it can be, I would have controlled it a long time ago.

Somehow, I cannot help but think of what could have been, what might have been if only Prince Gil and I could be together. He loved me too. I can see it in his eyes.

Would we have a family? Will we have kids? Will we have a home, a castle? Will he love me as much as I did him?

Will the kingdom like me as a Queen? As a ruler? As the King's right hand?

Somehow, thinking of this makes me ill. Probably because I know these might not happen.

But many say that to not be disappointed, you must not expect anything.

But I can't help it.

What is wrong with me? I keep comparing myself to other women when I know that they aren't worth it. That no matter what I do, they're not worth my time.

But I can't help but think that Prince Gil still chose them.

This ball is something I would have been looking forward to, if I wasn't so in love with the prince. If only I didn't feel anything special for him. But that's impossible. Somehow, I cannot imagine myself not in love with Prince Gil.

Prince Gil. A name I would never forget. A person I will always love and remember.

A person who cannot be with me because of the circumstances. A person who is going to find himself a wife tonight at his ball where there will be a lot of princesses and duchesses wanting to be his wife. Wanting to be with him for his fame, glory, power, and money.

I normally follow the rules. But this is an exception. Even though he is a prince, I want to be with him. I'm willing to break the rules for him.

Because I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life.

I loved him. I still do. And I hope that he feels the same way too.

Prince Gil snapped the diary shut for he couldn't read anymore. He was too shaken up by the last entry.

With tears streaming down his face, he returned the diary in its former place and placed the pillow on top of it. He then opened the bedroom door.

With one last look at the room, he exited Sara's bedroom, intending to calm himself.

And so, Prince Gil headed to the stables, wanting to go to the cabin.

The cabin where they once stayed at.