Memory 16 -Diamond Snow

Pairing(s): future!NatsumexRuka

Warning(s): death & boyxboy making out :D

Rating: PG-13

Summary: For the permission of the old to bring in the new.

During the funeral of Nogi Amelia, the sky was raining snowflakes onto the white covered ground. Dark clouds had rolled by, but a light seemed to still come from the dreary sky as the many friends of the woman gathered around the coffin.

Ruka, Amelia's only son and heir, was a very pretty boy. He stood the closest to the closed coffin and watched as it was lowered down into the dug up hole in the ground that would devour the body of his mother. Even during these sad times, the twenty-one year old managed to look beautiful with his saddened frown and the tears that made his summer sky blue eyes glassy.

If the guests who came didn't come for the dead, they had come for this boy.

After the funeral was done, Ruka was stopped from leaving by numerous people. Some of them to offer their sympathies, others to offer their support to the son of their deceased friend. Ruka smiled politely through all of these until the women with their daughters came up, trying to push exposed cleavage and their superficial beauty towards the blonde.

Ruka didn't know what to do, but during these moments his friends, who had stood by his side during the whole ordeal, came forwards. The girls would smile politely and make up excuses, but they stood back and let the biting words of the steadfast raven push them away when they started to get desperate.

"Look," the demon eyed man had snapped impatiently after they were stopped from leaving after what seemed to be the fiftieth time, "this is a freaking funera. If you want to show off your flat chest, do it somewhere else!"

The girl and her mother, who had normally sized breasts, gasped in outrage. They had looked at the blonde for some defense, but Ruka was already being lead elsewhere, the raven blocking their path to him with the baring of sharper than normal teeth and a small warning growl.

It had gone on like that until Ruka and his group of friends got into their cars and drove home.

"We're thinking of going out to eat later," Mikan, his pretty brown haired friend had said with a pained smile, "how about it, Ruka-pyon?"

She was the only one still trying to cheer him up, and Ruka, who was touched at her attempts to lift his spirits, could only smile painfully back. "Not tonight, Mikan..." he said softly, "I'll take a rain check though."

Mikan's eyes were understanding but held a glint of disappointment as she got out of the car with her best friend in tow. "I'll hold you to that then," she said.

Ruka only nodded slightly, watching until the girls were safely inside their house before the car moved forwards. Natsume, the demon eyed raven, was driving slower than usual. He didn't say anything, but instead of turning their car towards the large house that Ruka was now in possession of, he turned back toward the highway to the cemetery.

When they arrived and Natsume parked, they walked out making two sets of footprints in the new snow. Natsume's hand never let go of Ruka's smaller one, and together, they arrived at the new grave.

Ruka reached out silently and traced the name in the stone, his heart clenching painfully in his chest as he brushed away the snow already starting to pile up in uneven mounds. He hadn't believed that his mother had died when he was called. He hadn't believed that the woman who strove to protect him fiercely, was dead. She had looked so peaceful on the bed when he had rushed in that he had thought the whole death thing was some cruel joke on him. He hadn't believed until she was placed in a casket for the whole world to see.

"It hurts," Ruka whispered, clutching at his heart, "it hurts so much..."

Natsume stayed silent but moved forwards, closer to the shaking blonde. The raven took off his heavy overcoat and placed it over his friend, but, knowing that the warmth of his coat wouldn't be enough, he closed the space between them in a tight hug.

Ruka, who was still facing the tombstone, closing his eyes as the tears started to fall again. Faster and faster until he was sobbing in Natsume's strong arms, turning so that he could bury his pretty face into his best friend's chest.

Someone once said that losing a person you loved wouldn't be comparable to any other pain in the world. Ruka didn't understand at first, but now, standing in front of his mother's tombstone as he cried with the falling snow around them, he didn't want to wish this hurt on anyone.

Natsume, who was staring at the tombstone with unreadable eyes, moved away from his best friend. Ruka sniffed and tried to be strong, hiding his face with his hands so that the raven wouldn't see. Ruka didn't think that he could handle anyone ever seeing him be this devastated. He tried to hide, but when warm hands pulled his own down, Ruka found himself looking up into crimson red eyes the color of fire. "N-Natsume," Ruka started, his words choked and tear filled.

"I'm here," the raven murmured softly. Then he leaned down and their lips met in a kiss that was half comforting and half desperate.

Their hands were still intertwined together after all this time, and stayed clasped firm when they pulled away. Natsume moved, pressing butterfly kisses to salty cheeks while Ruka couldn't do anything other than continue crying, thinking about the regrets that he had and the things that he would never be able to say to his mother.

"She didn't even know that we were together..."

Natsume paused at the soft whisper and a glint of determination filled his eyes. Arms pushed Ruka away then, moving the blonde until Natsume was the one standing in front of the tombstone, his eyes set on the shiny engraved rock.

"N-Natsume–"

"Amelia-san," he said as he bowed, "I love your son more than I can ever imagine loving anyone else." Ruka trembled beside him, but said nothing. "I want to stay with him for the rest of my life and I want to be there for him through everything."

Ruka's grip on Natsume's hand tightened. "I wish you were here so that I could get your approval, but I love Ruka and I want to marry him if he would have a stubborn asshole like me."

The blonde gasped, but Natsume continued on. "I promise to you that I will always be with him and protect him from everything that tries to hurt him, so please understand." He stood upright then, holding out his free hand to gently touch the tombstone. "Thank you for taking care of my sister and I when we were younger," he whispered softly.

Natsume turned his head to look at his blonde then, his little moment done. Ruka had his head down and his smaller body was shaking as Natsume looked on worriedly.

To tell the truth, this wasn't how Natsume had planned on proposing to his best friend of 15 years and his lover of 5. Natsume had originally planned to ask the blonde when they were having one of their comfortable days lounging around at home, doing nothing aside from basking in each other's presence. But now, as he slipped the ring box out of the coat pocket of the coat covering his smaller lover, Natsume figured that it was for the best.

He leaned down, "Marry me?" he whispered to the blonde.

Ruka looked up then, eyes watery and filled with a mixture of beautiful emotions. "How can I say no to that?" he whispered back.

They kissed then, all tearful and joyous. So bittersweet, but precious and loving and happy all at the same time. It was a soft kiss of emotions and Natsume didn't want to ever break it.

When they pulled away, Natsume took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto Ruka's ring finger. It shone and sparkled in the dim light of the lone lamppost, but not even the lack of lighting could take away the beauty of the small item.

Snowflakes drifted softly down, dancing and swirling in the whirlwind that enveloped them as they met once more in a loving kiss.

A/N: I...don't know what this is... m(_ _)m ugh, I'm loosing my inspiration . my muse has upped and left me you guys...

*sigh* well, I'm hoping you liked this chapter at least :)

Word of the Week: Mission (impossible 007 na na na na na na na na batman– oops! wrong theme song! xp)

see y'all next week? :p