Kyuubi Capers - Chapter 2

Naruto watched over Sasuke. After rescuing him from certain death, Naruto had carried him up to a ledge high above the sea of digestive fluids, set him down, and proceeded to stand guard.

After all, it's not like he needed sleep, not here.

In fact, he was entirely sure that he was never supposed to have woken up in the first place. When Kyuubi consumed them both, that was supposed to be the end. Sasuke, though, Sasuke had woken up, and Sasuke had managed to wake him up. Sasuke pulled him back from the edge and reignited the flame that was entirely Naruto and not Kyuubi. Sasuke was the only reason his own consciousness hadn't already faded away into nothing.

For that, Naruto didn't mind protecting him from Kyuubi, especially since he had nothing better to do for literally all of eternity.

He wondered what had happened to his body. Had it already transformed into the nine-tailed demon fox? Was he going on a rampage through the Kingdom of Fire? Maybe the fox had already been sealed into a new vessel. So, that would mean that Naruto was inside of a demon inside of a seal inside of a seal.

Great. He was never getting out.

"This is your fault," he muttered to Sasuke. "Why couldn't you just stay in Konoha? Why'd you have to go and mess around with learning jutsus you can't control?" He sighed. "We would've helped you get Itachi, you know. Akatsuki is my enemy, too. And you know Sakura-chan would do anything for you, no matter how stupid it is."

Sasuke didn't answer. His slow, rhythmic breathing told Naruto he wasn't dead.

"She still likes you better than me," he grumbled. "Even though you're a giant douche." Petty emotions tumbled out of Naruto's mouth like word vomit. He'd never be this honest with Sasuke in real life. Partly, it was because being near Sasuke made him feel like he was thirteen again.

Mostly, it was because his mind was going. When he opened his mouth, he had no idea what would come out next.

His memories were fading away.

Not all of them. His memory wasn't that great to begin with, so it didn't really mean anything, and they usually came back. But every time Naruto couldn't remember something- even a small, miniscule detail he never would have thought important- his stomach would fill with uncontrollable panic. Then, that panic would reassure him that he was still himself. But after that, he'd panic because he wasn't going to be himself anymore sometime in the future, most likely very soon.

To fill his head, he went through every memory he had, carefully, and in chronological order. When it became too hard to think about, he started saying his thoughts out loud. He'd already relayed his entire life story to Sasuke's unconscious body at least twice. With each re-telling, the side characters began to fade away, and Sasuke became more prominent. By the fifth installment, his story had morphed into some sort of over-involved teen drama about their super intense rivalry and best friendship, and the side characters were barely mentioned at all.

"We met at school," Naruto said dreamily. "You remember, don't you? Of course you do. You were so cool and you were good at everything. But I didn't have any parents so everyone treated me funny and I was, you know, sad about it. But then one day, all of the teachers were really upset, and I heard someone saying that your family had been killed! And I was so happy, because I wasn't the only one without parents anymore. Oh, crap, that makes me sound like an asshole, doesn't it."

"Yes it does. Idiot."

Naruto was so caught up in all the conversations he'd had with Sasuke that only existed in the past, that for a moment, he didn't even realize that the real deal had actually spoken. Sasuke's eyes opened, only slightly, just enough to glare. His eyes were darker than Naruto remembered. All of their warmth was gone. Taken off guard, Naruto stumbled into action.

"Wha-? Sasuke! Have you been listening this whole time?" he yelled. One of Sasuke's eyebrows raised, ever-so-slightly- it was a gesture that anyone besides Naruto would have missed.

"You were talking to me, weren't you?" Naruto struggled to find grounds to deny the accusation, and came up blank. He sputtered out an awkward retort.

"Then why didn't you answer?"

"Conserving energy," Sasuke said blandly. Naruto stuck his tongue out.

"You're welcome for saving your life, asshole."

"Didn't ask you to."

"I hate you."

"Deal with it." Naruto suspected that he and Sasuke were incapable of having normal, adult conversations. They were incapable before, they were incapable now. Every conversation they had devolved into banter. There was no use trying to fight it.

"Your memory is going," Sasuke observed after a long pause. So, he had noticed.

"I know." Naruto dipped his head, frowning. "How bad is it?"

"Your favorite teacher's name is Iruka. Hyuuga Hinata is from the head family and Hyuuga Neji is from the branch family. You didn't fight Gaara- his name is Gaara, by the way- during the Chuunin exams, you fought him afterwards. Wednesday comes after Tuesday. The fifth Hokage's name is Tsunade and she is not your biological grandmother."

"I never said she was!"

"You just told me you live together."

"I meant I'd live in the Hokage's quarters someday!"

"No, you meant that she raised you as a child. Which is not true." Sasuke paused. "Anyway, that's just off the top of my head. You're losing focus, too."

"I've never been focused," Naruto muttered. "It's not in my blood. That's why there's a leaf on the Konoha headband, you know. The ninjas used to practice concentration by resting a leaf on their foreheads." Sasuke snorted. It was the closest Naruto had ever come to hearing him laugh.

"You remember something like that, but you don't remember that Wednesday comes after Tuesday?" He raised an excellent point. Naruto's brain was a-scrambles.

"Maybe Kyuubi didn't think that information would be useful," he said bitterly. Sasuke said nothing.

Stupid Sasuke.

His expression was blank, and his tone was deadpan. Except to speak, he hadn't moved at all since waking up. He maintained his cold, controlling demeanor even while being too weak to move. He was completely infuriating.

Naruto was amazed at the depth of knowledge he'd retained about Konoha, though.

So, you do think about us.

"How are you feeling?" Naruto was suddenly aware of just how very close he was to Sasuke's body. The ledge wasn't that large, after all, and he'd stayed close in the hopes that he could share some of his chakra with Sasuke. He didn't know if it was working. He was no medic-nin, though he was pretty sure he knew a couple of them.

"I'm fine."

"Your chakra is really low."

"No thanks to your damn fox." Naruto raised an eyebrow. Sasuke thought that Kyuubi was depleting his chakra? It didn't make much sense to Naruto, since his own chakra was going strong, even as Kyuubi's flooded into his body and tried to take over.

"Really? You think it's him?"

"Something's taking my chakra." Ah. So he had no idea, he was just pretending he did. Typical Sasuke.

"Yeah, but Kyuubi hates you." Naruto paused. "Um, no offense." Sasuke's chakra would be little more than a drop in a bucket to Kyuubi, who didn't even need to eat, as far as Naruto could tell. If he did feed on anything, it was malice. And he really, really hated the Uchiha clan, every last one of them, to a degree that made Naruto wonder how he'd ever managed to befriend one in the first place.

As it was, here inside Kyuubi, an uneasy camaraderie had settled between them. Naruto hadn't really been aware of it while Sasuke was unconscious, but now, he could think of nothing else.

Sasuke wanted to kill him. Naruto wanted to break all of Sasuke's limbs and drag him back home.

Relations between them were strained at best.

But at the same time, now that they were trapped together, they'd settled back into their refreshingly non-violent pre-teenage routine of swapping insults and glaring at each other.

It was weird.

While he was losing himself in thought, Sasuke was glaring at him. Like usual, Naruto was unable to shake the feeling that Sasuke could see what he was thinking. Fuck, Sasuke had used his eyes to force himself into Naruto's brain.

That shit was not normal.

"Naruto," said Sasuke. "We need to get out of here." His voice dripped with unearned authority. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Sasuke," he replied curtly. "I already told you we can't." Honestly, did Sasuke really think he'd lie about something like this? It's not like Naruto wanted to die. The whole situation was Sasuke's fault to begin with, and it was only by dumb luck that they were still alive at all.

"Think harder." Sasuke's voice had an edge, the kind he always used when he was trying to be threatening. Naruto had grown accustomed to responding with sarcasm. Now was no different. He chirped happily:

"Monday, Wednesday, Tuesday, Thursday-"

"Ok, I'll think," Sasuke muttered, cutting him off. He closed his eyes, much the way this guy Naruto used to know did when he was thinking of what to do next, only Sasuke looked way less cool. An indeterminate amount of time passed, and he opened his eyes.

"Do you remember the hand signs for your Shadow Clone jutsu?"

That was his big idea?

"There's no way I could make enough clones to break open something this big!" Naruto sputtered, before he could stop himself. Yes, the Shadow Clone jutsu had served him well in his past experiences with getting eaten by monsters, but- wait, why had he been eaten by more than one monster in his life?

"What? I meant to look for an exit," Sasuke said impatiently.

"I got eaten by this snake once-"

"Focus." Naruto snapped back to the present.

"Demon foxes don't have exits," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He couldn't be sure, but what looked like a tiny smile was fighting the corners of Sasuke's mouth.

"If it's like any other animal, there should be two of them." Naruto considered the implications of that statement.

"Gross, Sasuke."

"Try your clone jutsu."

Despite Naruto's repeated self-assurances that he could never forget the Shadow Clone jutsu- seriously, some mornings he needed to use it even to get dressed, and how was he supposed to spy on his coworkers without it?- the first time he tried, he fumbled through the signs. He waited for Sasuke to make an impolite jab, but none came.

Oh, right. He needs me to do this, so he's keeping his mouth shut.

Naruto refused to feel grateful.

Two more tries, and he wasn't doing any better. He tried once more, for Sasuke's sake, but when his hands slipped, he gave up.

"This is pointless," he said, throwing his hands in the air. "I don't even know if I can mold chakra in here! Seriously, Sasuke, just accept it. This is the end. I mean, we're stuck with each other, but it's better than being alone, right?" There was almost a heartfelt sentiment in that mush.

Naruto tried not to think about it, which meant that the almost-heartfelt-sentiment went on a stampede through his weakened mind.

Honestly?

Naruto was glad Sasuke was with him.

Just from being near Sasuke, the emotional turmoil that he carried with him wherever he went had calmed. Even if they were just sniping at each other, at least this way, Naruto got to talk to his best friend again before falling asleep forever and going on a rampage and destroying the world. If Sasuke agreed with him, he didn't say so. Instead, a wry, ugly smile twisted his lips, and he spoke quietly.

"I never thought I'd hear you tell me to accept a bad situation for what it was."

Naruto stared at him.

Memories floated back into his head. Memories of him calling Sasuke a scaredy-cat, and telling him to stand back and let Naruto fight, and all sorts of other things. But all he could think was:

Hell no.

No way was Sasuke going to lecture Naruto on irony, or being a hypocrite, or whatever. Under no circumstances. It wasn't his fault that Sasuke didn't know what they were dealing with.

"Kyuubi is different," he snapped. "You don't stop Kyuubi!" Sasuke's smile got uglier.

"The Fourth Hokage did."

Naruto's stomach tightened.

The Fourth Hokage. The one who'd gotten him into this mess. It was because of him that all of this had happened.

"The Fourth didn't stop Kyuubi," he said, cold as ice. "He just stuck him in a cage! A cage that, obviously, isn't even permanent! That's not stopping. That's delaying." His lip trembled. "Even if I were killed and Kyuubi died with me, he'd just come back a few years later! More delays. So now he's my problem, even though I never asked for this shit." He stared directly into Sasuke's dull black eyes. "Don't you dare talk to me about the Fourth Hokage."

Sasuke absorbed this information slowly. When it became apparent that Naruto wasn't going to say anything else, he sat up, surprisingly quickly for someone who hadn't been able to move at all, um, however long ago that was.

"I'm going to go find an exit," he announced, as if to say I just sat up or my name is Sasuke.

"No. No you're not." Sasuke, however, had already slipped off the side of the ledge and disappeared. Naruto's eyes widened. "Sasuke?"

No response.

"Sasuke!" He could see, all too well, the picture of his first and best friend walking away from him. Leaving him behind.

Just like always, despite any and all advice given to him by other people or his own common sense, Naruto had no choice but to chase after him.

"God dammit," he screamed. "It took me this long to catch you- I am not letting you go searching for Kyuubi's asshole by yourself! Sasuke!"

My biggest worry with this fic was that I made Naruto too stupid. My trusty beta Axel's Roxas was all "It's cool, dude. Naruto IS stupid." So- yay stupid Naruto!

BREAKING NEWS: Wednesday comes after Tuesday. Pass it on.