Author's Note: Do you guys have any suggestions for future chapters? There are only so many CBS jokes a girl can make... D:

"Baby can I hate on you? Cause I don't know what else I can do..."

"Go away." insists Fandom, brushing back her hair.

CBS approaches her and lays a hand on her shoulder. He flicks off his sunglasses and they land in the sand of the beach. "I'm not that different from him, you know."

"You're nothing like Sherlock, and you never will be." Fandom scooted away from her lover's clone. "So stop trying to be."

"Is there anything I can do?" asks CBS. The only noise now is the sound of lapping waves in the distance, and somewhere, Rory being eaten by a mermaid. (Sweet Sherlock warned him about the mermaids once, but Hella Rory thought he was just being paranoid).

Fandom didn't answer and begins to trace circles in the sand. "You know, if Doctor Who was here, he'd say that this scene reminds him of Bad Wolf. Except Rose wasn't left alone on a beach with her clone. Her true love was there too."

"I said, is there anything I can do?"

Fandom sighed. "Yes. Let me hate on you."

CBS recoils. "What?" Fandom barely even knew him. He didn't have a chance to prove himself. How could she have so much hate for him?

"I said, let me hate on you. Get out some anger."

CBS was torn up inside. On one hand, he could finally win Fandom's trust and heart. On the other hand, it might not make things any better. And on the third hand, well... at least she'd be talking to him. (Yes he has three hypothetical hands. I don't make the rules, I just break em).

So he nodded, and Fandom unleashed her fury.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST STROLL IN AND THINK YOU'RE SOOO COOL WELL YOU'RE NOT THE CHILD OF MOFFAT AND GODTISS, CRAFTED FROM BENEDICT'S EYES AND MARTIN'S TEARDUCTS, FROM ANDREW SCOTT'S HAIR AND FROM MYCROFT'S UMBRELLA, NOO. AND YOU'RE AMERICAN WTF YOU GUYS HAVE NO GOOD SHOWS AND YOU ALREADY HAVE HOUSE AAAAND PSYCH WHY DO YOU NEED ANOTHER ONE SO YOU STRUT AROUND TOWN LIKE YOU'RE THE NEXT BIG SHOW..."

And CBS sat there in the sand and listened, to every word. Fandom's face grew redder and her hair flapped around wildly in the breeze. And when she finally stopped yelling, silence fell across the beach.

"Right," said CBS. Forget all the hands, this chick was nuts. And so he left.

Fandom sat down on the ground and pulled out her crack. Maybe she could write a cracky fanfic about this one day.