*Based on the fact that after the hunger games i find it really hard katniss (or anybody) would be all for hunting again like old times given what she had just been through*
We were walking when I asked, her looking down and I pretending not to notice. It took her too long to answer and then she looked up.
"Gale" There was something in her eyes, pity and pain, her lips were tight, a thin long line, her head moved from side to side and then her back was turned, her feet retreating. I stood there, staring at the girl I loved as she walked away. I caught her; I couldn't help but to catch her. Her hand in mine we spun and then she stopped and glared, yanking her hand out of mine, if she only knew how much that hurt.
"What! I don't want to go hunting and you just attack me! What's the matter with you?" She was breathing heavy, eyes aflame. I should say sorry, it was stupid but I can't, the words won't come, instead its anger, hot and heavy and suddenly I want to hit something, to make someone suffer as much as I have.
"What, you won the games and now have a new house and all the food you can eat so you suddenly don't want to go hunting anymore?" I see her face but I don't look at it, I'm too angry. "What you forget the rest of us are still starving or is it after all that bread you eat that you're just too good for the old stuff."
She doesn't respond, instead she just looks on. I see her face, crippled in anger, in pain, in hurt and I want to take it all back, take away her pain and anger but I know I can't because in order to do that I would have to go back, back to the beginning and I can't do that and so I don't, I just stand there staring dumbly, hoping she will hit me. But she doesn't, she just opens her mouth and closes it, like a fish out of water, she's sinking. I was hoping she would hit me, but instead she just walks away.
Again I wish I can yell, tell her sorry, that I didn't mean it, that I was angry not because she didn't want to go hunting but that she couldn't. That I was losing my grasp on something I never held something I want desperately to hold.
I didn't understand and maybe I never will. It wasn't like her but then again I wasn't sure if I knew what she was like anymore. Things had gotten out of control, spun and crashed into a wall by the bakers house and has been stumbling around there ever since and honestly I don't know how to go and get it back again.
The forest was quiet today, annoyingly so, almost as if they were waiting for her, waiting for her to be among the trees to be home where she belonged not in some mansion in victors village not with some idiot bread boy and a drunkard fool, no here with me. No not with me, the forest but I can't even convince myself of that anymore, I'm as unsure of myself as I am of Katniss.
I don't know what happened but of course I do, the hunger games happened, the capital happened. So much, I can't expect her to be the same but yet I do, selfishly I do.