Disclaimer: So yeah…

The days were monotone; there was no joy, no spark in the once bright eyes of Edward Eric. When he lost Al, Ed thinks, he lost everything. Their quest to right their, no, his mistake was the fire that kept him alive, given him a reason to live…but now, Al aged right before his eyes, gone within days of getting him back.

Mustang, Winry, teacher…even granny wouldn't understand…although they know how close he was with Al…they didn't understand without the suit of armor, he had no purpose. He was not the full metal alchemist, the people's alchemist or even major Eric…he was just Edward, a boy who made way too many mistakes.

He left as soon as the funeral was over…days of research, of desperation, yet there was no resolve, his brother's last words still hunting him. "Brother, don't do anything stupid." He knew his body was weaken, the time put into his research took away anything else, the nightmares only increased, without Al to tell him to rest..Or to eat, he just couldn't care less anymore.

The search party put together by Mustang found the golden eyed boy two weeks later, he was weaker…too frail, when they got to him he was barely conscious. After a major discussion between Mustang, Izumi, Pinako and Winry…they decided that it was probably for the best for him to stay with Mustang. A place where there was no memories of his lost brother, a place where he can depend on and be depended on. There was no hesitation in Mustang's tone as he willingly took on the boy…he thought of as a younger brother…or even a son.

When the blinded flame alchemist carried the blond, he noted…he was too light, he could feel the boy's ribcage just by putting a hand over his stomach. He knew exactly how full metal, no Edward felt, when Maes died…it felt like he lost more than just a comrade…he lost a blood brother. Although he was blind, Mustang wasn't letting that stopping him; he had memorized the structure of his house and the military bases by heart.

In a way…it was ironic, both he and Edward got played by powers greater than them again and again. The Ishval war…being controlled by the military, having blood on his hands, just when he thought it couldn't get any worse…the military's secret…projects come out, making him a.. He chuckled bitterly...a sacrifice. While Edward...just wanted family, someone who gives a damn about him and his brother…resulting in the loss of his brother…yet when the golden eyed boy just got him back…the gate took him all over again. A cruel joke, he's studied Xing mythology in his youth…but to see it happen, the truth he decided was a cruel thing no one should know about, it corrupts people…not relieves them.

Edward woke up in a strange room, it wasn't the hospital, and the walls were a pastel blue. The bed was softer, and after a few moments he noticed. Mustang was in a chair next to the bed, trapped in a nightmare, he timidly shook the colonel a few times.

"NO!" the scream held so much agony, easily matching his own.

"E-Edward, you're awake." The colonel acknowledged after he forced himself to calm down.

"What am I doing here bastard!" there was malice behind the words like there usually was, just a statement.

"Full-, no Edward, you're staying here." Mustang replied calmly.

"Why? Why would you want me here? Look if Winry talked you into this, you don't have to do it!" the boy was near hysteria.

"Edward-" Mustang began.

"Don't call me that!" the golden child cut the colonel of, even though the charcoaled eyed man couldn't see, he could feel the emotions rolling of the people's alchemist in waves.

"Ed- full metal, do you think she had to talk me into this…you're letting yourself getting weaker, do you think this is what Al-"

"Shut up! Don't…don't you think you know what Al wants better than me, I'm his freaking brother!"

The people's alchemist was about to leave again, when he felt his arm being grabbed by his superior, words that echoed into his very soul spoken by the man he never would've thought would have such depth.

"Edward…if you knew what Al wanted, then why aren't you doing it…you're letting yourself being wasted away. Alphonse would want you to mourn for him…but do you think he would be happy to see you on the other side…so soon?"

Author's note: So yeah…and this story haven't been updated much since I've been working on 101 Milk ways, I only do one story update a week so…yeah. And as for the last note, Al was trapped in the gate for five years...got that wrong. This is my first time writing such a depressing theme…so tell me what you think, and there might be weird updates on this story. Review.