Hello, I am terribly sorry that once again it took me an age to update, but once again I managed to delete all my chapters! I know, I felt like killing myself. :( But on the bright side, you get an extra long chapter to make up for it! (This was originally going to be two separate chapters, but when I was typing them up from memory I decided to mush them together)

Grrrrrrrrrr!

Anyway, read on :)

Thank you thank you thank you for all the wonderful reviews I got last chapter, particularly the one I got from 'sweetascandy101' - it was amazing, and made me ridiculously happy for the rest of the day!

'Love Once Lost...'

Claire's POV

Claire didn't know how much later it was, but suddenly she felt wrong. Guilty.

She let her head fall back from the sluggishly bleeding cut on Myrnin's neck.

They were laying on the couch, Claire underneath Myrnin, their legs hanging off the arm in a tangle of limbs.

"Myrnin." She mumbled. He didn't respond, intent on drinking the blood still flowing from her wrist. Claire closed her eyes, almost enjoying the odd sensation.

Then she felt a wave of giddiness wash over her. He was taking too much.

"Myrnin..." She murmured.

Suddenly Claire felt the sharp sting of his fangs on her skin. She yelped and pulled her arm out of his grasp.

Myrnin licked his lips and slowly lifted his eyes to meet her gaze. He looked apprehensive.

Claire struggled to get her thoughts back under control; they were whirling all over the place. There was silence for a few minutes; then Claire spoke.

"What...what was that?" She whispered fearfully. "What's wrong with me?"

Myrnin said nothing.

"I shouldn't have done that. We shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have..." Claire trailed off, registering the guilty look on Myrnin's face. Her eyes narrowed as her mind drew its own conclusions.

"Claire-" He began.

"You took advantage of me." She said, her eyes widening.

Myrnin looked even guiltier.

"No, I never-"

"I never would have - I didn't want - I never -" Claire stuttered, growing more and more upset.

Myrnin licked his lips nervously, and Claire was suddenly very aware of his position on top of her.

"Claire, you need to understand-"

"Get off me." She hissed, trying to push him away.

Myrnin looked horrified at the way things were going. He grabbed her wrists and gently held them down.

"Claire." He said softly.

She turned her head away, into a cushion. Tears spilled down her cheeks.

"No..." She sobbed.

"Claire...listen to me..."

"No! You knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself! You knew!" Claire shouted, and Myrnin flinched at her words. It didn't occur to Claire that she shouldn't have wanted his blood in the first place - not unless she was desperate. "Don't even bother trying to pretend you didn't! I never would have done that- let go!" She managed to pull her hands free, and pounded on his chest weakly. "Please, go away!" She cried, sobbing hysterically.

Myrnin tried again.

"Claire, I'm so sorry, but you have to understand-"

Anger flared up in Claire again at his words.

"What? What do I have to understand, apart from the fact that you used me when I was vulnerable, that you took advantage of me, that you-"

"Claire!" Myrnin roared. Claire stopped shouting, something about the note of desperation in his voice making her pause. He took a deep breath before continuing at normal level. "I- didn't take advantage of you, as such. Your blood...seems to...hold even more appeal to me now then it did previously, and I - I couldn't help myself." He hung his head. "I'm sorry, Claire."

Claire froze.

"What?" She whispered. "But...but I'm a vampire now...aren't I? I don't understand..."

"Neither do I." Myrnin told her miserably.

He sat up, allowing Claire to move out from underneath him. She pushed herself back along the couch until her back was resting against the arm.

"This isn't right, is it?" She said quietly.

"It's not...usual." Myrnin replied. "By now, your blood should have lost all appeal to me."

There was silence again as Claire digested this unwelcome information.

She looked up at him, tears swimming in her eyes.

"I don't want this." She sobbed, covering her face with her hands.

Myrnin reached out a hand to try to comfort her, but she flinched away.

"Why did you do this to me?" She cried, standing up.

Myrnin stood too. "Claire, I-"

He broke off suddenly, staring at something over her shoulder in horror. His face drained of colour.

"Yes, Myrnin, pray tell us why you did it." A cold voice said.

Claire spun around, and felt her stomach drop.

Amelie stood framed in a portal, but it wasn't her Claire was worried about. Behind her stood Michael, and he was looking at Claire in shock.

She could see the cogs turning in his brain, and knew the conclusion he had come to when a look of disgust twisted his features.

"No, Michael, it's not what you're thinking-" Claire cried, "Please-"

But Michael had already gone.

Claire sat back down again abruptly. She felt crushed, and dirty all of a sudden. On the inside as well as the out. She looked down at her bloodstained clothes, picking at them numbly.

Amelie was still staring at Myrnin, her expression livid.

"Explain. Immediately."

Myrnin swallowed.

"I- er- I, I found Claire." He tried.

Amelie snarled, and both Claire and Myrnin flinched.

"What have you done, you fool?"

Myrnin hung his head.

"She- she was dying. I couldn't lose her." He said quietly. A note of something heartbreaking had entered his voice.

Claire, who had been staring at the ground, looked up.

"Oh, Myrnin..." She whispered. A myriad of emotions swirled through her, some of which she couldn't even bring herself to acknowledge.

Amelie's expression lost a tiny amount of its fury; Myrnin looked and sounded like a broken man.

"Myrnin, you know better than I that human's lives are but fleeting upon the earth. We cannot save everyone." Her words were harsh, but her tone was soft.

Myrnin didn't look up, and Amelie turned her attention to Claire.

Her eyes narrowed as she saw the cut on Claire's wrist that had failed to close completely yet. Too late, Claire tried to cover it with her hand, but the damage was done.

She turned to Myrnin, her keen eyes finding the identical cut on his neck. Her eyes widened.

"What is this?" She whispered.

Myrnin glanced at Claire, then back at Amelie, who looked disgusted.

"It's not Claire's fault." He said quickly.

Amelie's eyes narrowed again.

"How so?"

Claire realised that he was going to tell her what had happened, and shook her head frantically. She didn't know why, but she didn't particularly want Amelie to know that her blood was still appetising to vampires.

"Myrnin." She said. "Don't."

He threw her a warning look.

"I- I think she needs vampire blood to survive."

There was silence in the lab.

"What?" Claire said loudly. "No! That can't be true, I'm not- I don't need-"

"You said it yourself that my blood tasted delicious to you." Myrnin said quietly. He looked at Amelie. "I know what you're thinking. And I did, I gave her human blood first. She rejected it."

Claire gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.

Amelie just stared at Myrnin in shock.

"But that's...that's impossible." She whispered.

Myrnin sighed.

"I know."

Amelie closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was silent for a long time, during which neither Claire nor Myrnin spoke.

Eventually, Amelie seemed to come to some mind of decision, and opened her eyes again.

"Very well. Claire, you will stay here with Myrnin for testing. This is non-negotiable. You are not to return home or leave the lab unless either Myrnin or I are with you, and you are not to contact anyone. No-one can know about this. Do I make myself clear?"

Myrnin nodded slowly.

"But-" Claire started, but cut off at the look on Amelie's face. It was at times like this that Claire knew exactly why Amelie was the Founder.

"I'm sorry, Claire. I know this must be difficult for you. But you understand why I must do this." She said, her voice becoming soft again. Claire nodded reluctantly. Her mind was reeling.

Amelie turned to Myrnin, and spoke coldly.

"This is your fault, and your responsibility."

"I know." Myrnin whispered.

Amelie nodded, and sighed.

"Nothing is ever simple in this town. I sometimes wonder if-" She cut off, and smiled, looking at Claire. "No, perhaps not.." She mused. Amelie turned around, opening another portal on the wall.

Before stepping through, she turned back to Myrnin.

"What we discussed before...I still stand by my decision... Although perhaps, given the...Changes that have occurred, I will review it."

Myrnin broke into a smile, and bowed.

"Thank you, milady."

Amelie nodded, then grew serious again.

"I expect you to spend all your time studying Claire's...condition. We have to know how far this will go, and the causes."

"Natürlich." Myrnin murmured.

Amelie nodded again, and left.

As soon as the portal snapped shut, the lab descended into silence. Claire was in shock.

"Myrnin... Are you... are you serious about that?"

He nodded, meeting her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Claire. I am."

Claire didn't respond. She couldn't lift the detached feeling that had settled over her.

"I'm going to need my things from the Glass house." She said flatly.

Myrnin snapped to attention, looking relieved that he had something to do.

"Right. I shall go and fetch them, dear. You can just..." Myrnin trailed off, waving his hands about.

"Do you have a shower or something?" Claire said expressionlessly.

"Yes, yes! Through there!" Myrnin said a little too exuberantly, and pointed. "Help yourself to hot water and anything else you might require."

Claire nodded, and Myrnin left the lab at speed.

As soon as he was gone, she deflated, breaking down into hysterical sobs that tore through her and left her gasping for air. Despair drenched her. She'd never felt so helpless and wretched before.

She cried until she had a headache, then stumbled to the shower, tears blurring her vision.

Myrnin didn't have much in the way of bathroom products, but they did the job.

The soap was scratchy, but it smelt wonderful.

There was no shampoo, only body-wash for men that was supposed to double up.

Claire spent a long time just soaking herself under the spray of hot water, trying to wash away all the worries of the previous few days.

She finally, reluctantly turned the water off when she heard Myrnin return.

Stepping out of the shower, she grabbed a clean towel and wrapped it around herself.

She stuck her head around the edge of the door.

"Myrnin, do you think you could leave my clothes outside the door, please?"

Silence.

"Myrnin?"

Claire swung the door open wider, and took a tentative step out.

"Claire."

Claire yelped at the sound of the voice, and spun around to face the direction it had come from.

She could feel her instincts kicking in, all screaming 'Intruder!'

"Shane..." She whispered.

He was standing in the door of Myrnin's bedroom, looking broken at the sight of her.

"Claire? Michael told me you were here." He swallowed thickly. "Are you...living with him?" By him, he meant Myrnin.

Claire nodded fearfully; she realised what this looked like to Shane.

"How-how could you?" He croaked, trying to sound angry, but Claire could see the tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't have a choice -"

Now he was angry.

"What do you mean you didn't have a choice? No-one forced you to screw him!"

Claire's jaw dropped open. His words were like a slap in the face.

"I'm not screwing him, Shane!" She cried, tears dripping down her own face. "I meant that I didn't get a choice about living with him!"

"What?" Shane was clearly still angry, but she'd momentarily confused him.

"Myrnin needs to do some testing on me, or something, and Amelie decided it would be better to stay here." Claire said, letting her bitterness about the whole thing add truth to her words.

Shane faltered.

"What...what tests? Are you alright?"

That hit Claire like a tonne of bricks.

He doesn't know. Oh my God, he doesn't know

She scrambled for something, anything to tell him.

"I'm...fine, as far as I know. Myrnin hasn't told me what the tests are for, yet." Partially true. She knew why she was having the tests, just not what they were going to be.

Shane sneered, back on the offensive.

"This is all very convenient, isn't it, Claire? How are you going to explain away what Michael saw, then?"

"Just what did he see?"

Shane turned a little red.

"He said he saw you lying underneath Myrnin on the couch, looking all... satisfied! And your blood smeared all over his mouth!" He yelled. Claire flinched. She hadn't even known Michael had seen that. Her face crumpled as she realised that she couldn't tell Shane what had really happened. Even if she could, he'd probably take that just as badly.

She gasped, knowing what was probably about to happen.

"I'm - I'm so sorry, Shane -" She began.

Shane's expression twisted.

"You. Make. Me. Sick." He spat. Claire flinched with each word, as of she had been struck.

"Shane-" She gasped, falling to her knees. "Please don't, please... It's not... Not what you think."

"What is it, then?" Shane roared.

Claire stood slowly, wiping tears away from her eyes.

"He- I was..." She didn't know how to say it. How do you tell someone that you're a vampire?

Claire looked him in the eyes, begging him to understand, and slowly extended her fangs.

"...Changed." She finished.

Shane's eyes widened, and he took a step back.

"I don't know what kind of sick joke this is-" He began.

"It's not a joke, Shane." Claire cried, reaching out to him. He flinched away from her.

"Don't touch me."

Claire let her hand fall to her side.

"Shane, let me explai-"

"No!" He roared. "Just stay away from me! I never want to see you again!"

With that, he turned and began to walk away from her.

"Shane!" Claire cried, grabbing his hand.

He whirled around with a strangled cry of rage and hurt, and grabbed Claire's wrist painfully hard, prying it off. She could have held on, but she didn't want to do anything else to betray his trust today.

He held it in his grip, digging in his pocket with the other hand.

Then he pressed something into Claire's palm, looking into her eyes the entire time.

She screamed in pain as whatever it was made contact with her flesh, and Shane closed her fist over it.

Claire didn't look away from his eyes until he dropped her hand and turned away, running up the stairs and disappearing from her life.

Numbly, she opened her hand. Sitting in her palm was a tiny silver cross on a delicate chain.

New tears formed in her eyes, and fell onto the burnt flesh of her palm.

She let the necklace fall to the floor at the same time that she did.

Claire lay slumped against the side of the couch for an immeasurable amount of time, sobbing desperately.

She didn't look up when Myrnin really did return; didn't even move.

"Claire? My God, are you alright?"

He dropped the bags he was carrying, and rushed over to her, crouching in front of her.

He tucked two fingers under her chin and, in an impossibly sweet gesture, lifted it so she was looking him in the eye.

"Claire?" He said softly. "What happened?"

Claire's composure crumbled, and she broke into new waves of sobs.

Myrnin sat beside her, letting her cry onto his shoulder whilst he rubbed smooth circles in her back, whispering nonsensical things to her.

Claire finally gave a last sniffle and fell silent, although her breath was still catching in the back of her throat.

"Sh-Shane. He- knows." She said.

Myrnin remained silent, seeming to know that there was more.

"He said- he never w-wants to see me - again." Claire gasped. Myrnin hugged her tighter, and she was surprised to hear a low growl emanating from him.

"He hurt you."

Myrnin's wandering fingers had found the fresh burns on the palm of her hand. For some reason, Claire jerked her hand away.

"It's nothing. I deserve it." She muttered.

Myrnin looked shocked.

"No, you don't, Claire." He whispered. "You deserve far better than him..." He trailed off, meeting her gaze sincerely.

Claire pulled away from him and stood up.

"I'm sorry. I can't - I can't do this right now. It's too much. I just - I just want-" A lump rose in her throat, and she cut off. Myrnin was still sitting with his back against the couch, and he let his head falls forwards, into his hands.

He said the next thing so quietly, Claire almost missed it.

"You still love him."

Claire froze.

"Of- of course."

Myrnin was silent. He didn't move at all for the rest of the day, which Claire spent listlessly tidying the lab because she couldn't go out and had nothing better to do.

She made dinner for herself, even though she didn't need it. She just wanted some small part of her life to feel normal.

There was no dining table, so she ate it as quietly as possible whilst perched on the edge of the couch.

At the end of her meal, Claire silently washed the dishes, and changed into her night-clothes. She blushed slightly, realising that Myrnin had probably had to pack her underwear for her.

He'd picked out her most revealing nightie - whether by purpose or by accident she didn't know, but she had a hunch.

Claire took her time brushing her teeth and washing her face, but after nearly half an hour she knew she would have to go and ask Myrnin where she was sleeping.

When she emerged, however, he was gone.

The couch had been pulled out to make a sizeable bed, and he'd actually put her own duvet on it.

She was about to climb in when she noticed a note on the pillow. There was a message scrawled on it in mad, spidery handwriting.

It read;

'I am so very sorry for my behaviour earlier. Goodnight my dearest Claire. Sweet dreams. M.'

Claire couldn't help but smile to herself. She folded it and tucked it into her rucksack before finally pulling the sheets back and climbing in.

She couldn't sleep. It was ridiculous, but she couldn't sleep.

Every time she shut her eyes, images of Francois kept creeping back to her. If it wasn't him, it was images of Shane's face, twisted in rage, intentionally pressing the silver necklace into her palm.

Claire angrily wiped away the tears that had spilt onto her cheeks.

She turned over again, stretching out into the cold, empty bed, and suddenly knew why she couldn't sleep.

Wrapping her night gown around herself, she got up and padded towards Myrnin's bedroom. Her nerve nearly failed her at the last moment, but she forced herself to knock on the door.

No answer.

"Myrnin?" She whispered, giving the door a gentle push. It swung open with a click, and Claire peered inside.

Myrnin was laying on his back, in the dead centre of a medium sized bed. His arms were folded across his chest, on top of the duvet.

Claire cleared her throat timidly, and he opened his eyes, turning his head to look at her.

A small smile played across his face.

"Claire?" He whispered. "What is it?"

"I-I can't sleep." Claire whispered back, taking a small step into his room.

"And how can I help with that?" Myrnin said quietly, grinning and waggling his eyebrows.

Claire shifted awkwardly.

"I was wondering if I could...sleep in here. With...you?" She turned it into a question, not wanting to sound presumptuous. She was far from it.

Myrnin looked shocked momentarily, then swiftly got up, bowing low and gesturing towards his bed.

"Of course. You can have my bed. I shall take the floor." He looked up at her from behind a curtain of wavy hair, smiling mischievously.

"Actually, I-" Claire blushed a little bit. "- the bed is more than big enough for two..." She trailed off, embarrassed, and hoping to God that Myrnin didn't get the wrong idea.

"Oh." He said quietly, looking unsure.

"I mean, you don't have to, it's fine. I'll just go-" Claire said quickly, already turning to leave.

"No, no, it's fine, I assure you." Myrnin said. "I was just...surprised."

"Okay." Claire said, approaching the bed. She shrugged off her silken dressing gown before climbing in, and it pooled on the ground at her feet.

She saw Myrnin watching her, and bit her lip, trying to ignore the look on his face.

Claire moved right over to the far side of the bed, smiling encouragingly at him. In a moment, Myrnin was lying beside her. She suspected he was making every effort not to let a single part of him touch her - after all, the bed wasn't that big.

Her small fingers found his hand and she squeezed once, trying to reassure him. It worked, because a moment later be returned the pressure, and she felt him relax slightly.

There was silence for a minute. Claire didn't move her hand from Myrnin's.

"Myrnin?" She whispered.

"Yes, cariad?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"I didn't want to die. Not really." Claire said. "I don't - I don't blame you."

Myrnin squeezed her hand, then turned to face her. Claire lost herself in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"For what?"

"Being so selfish." He paused. "But I couldn't imagine what I would have done if you had died."

Claire didn't reply for a moment, staring into his eyes. Then he leant forwards, capturing her upper lip between his two and kissing her slowly and sweetly. Claire kissed him back just as tenderly, letting herself get lost in the moment. His hand brushed the side of her cheek softly, and Claire covered it with one of her own, closing her eyes and sighing before pulling it away gently. She didn't speak for a minute, still gazing into his eyes and wishing that things could be simpler between the two of them.

Then she said,

"Myrnin...we can't keep on-"

Myrnin held a pale finger to her lips.

"Shh. Don't say it." He begged.

Claire sighed, then nodded.

He pulled her close to him, kissing the top of her head lightly.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear. But Claire didn't hear him. She was already deeply asleep, and Myrnin's words fell on deaf ears.

...whew...right, I hope you like it dearies, I promise I will update quicker next time, OK? :) Please please please review, I would love it if I got the same response as last time! Thank you! xxxxx :)