Hello; we meet again! I know I keep on saying this, but honestly, Chapter Thirty One already? Well, here it is, and I'm terribly sorry to annoy anyone who actually spends the time to read my Author's Notes, but I'm still in the mood to thank any and all of my regular readers! :)
My thanks this time - week? update? anyway - go to -
- 'vicky199416' (of course, with me since the beginning. Thank you very very much for reviewing every stinking chapter, I am sorry I am such a terrible person and keep forgetting to review yours. I hope this will make it up - Struggles With What's Right And What I Want, her story, CHECK IT OUT!)
- 'curlyCharlie' :)
- 'FormidableRain' - especially for your promise to see my story through to the end! At least I know I'll have one reader! :D And don't worry, I think you'll like Shane a li'l bit more in this chap
- 'sweetascandy101' - because you're always so damn nice :)
- Jkilmer - for being the best new reader EVA! XD
And thanks of course to everyone else who reviews, I will try to mention you in the future (hint, if you review more than three times, I'll normally remember your name for next time. Also, I tend to forget anonymous reviewer's names, so I'm sorry if I left anyone out!)
Wow, this is the longest A/N ever, so I'd best let you get on with reading unless I want angered reviewrs! :S xxx
'Beggar's Banquet'
Myrnin's POV
Claire was driving me wild. I saw a side of her I'd never seen before; she was confident, and sexy, and it drew me to her like a moth to a flame.
She teased me, and she used my own words against me; it was all I could do not to take her right then and there.
Then the make-believe dead girl showed up and Claire once again withdrew behind her wall of safety.
I was shocked to discover that my Claire was worried I was using her - as if i would do that to her. I'd finally admitted to myself that I loved her, but was admitting it to her something I was willing to do, at the risk of her rejecting me? I didn't think I could bear it if she did. I was quickly becoming dependent on her.
I knew that she thought she loved Shane, but I was beginning to realise that I had to show her that she loved me, too. She did love me. She had to.
I just wasn't sure how to make her realise that.
'It has quickly become apparent that both of my theories regarding Claire's blood were correct, although the effects are a lot more severe than I could have possibly imagined.
I was horrified to discover, when I received my weekly delivery of blood, that the human blood which used to drive me wild with thirst has lost its appeal to me. It tastes bland and unsavoury compared to Claire's blood. Not only that, but it is taking almost triple the usual amount to sustain me for half the normal time.
I haven't shared this information with anyone, for obvious reasons, but I am aware that I cannot keep it up for long. Someone is bound to notice how much blood I am consuming.
I glanced up from the tattered book I was scribbling my observations in.
Claire was sitting across the room from me, reclining in her favourite chair. Her arm was hooked up to a tube that was currently crimson, due to the fact that her blood was flowing through it.
She was watching the blood bag beside her fill up with a faintly sick expression on her face.
"Myrnin." She murmured. "How much more of my blood do you need? Don't you think three bags is enough?"
Yes, but I couldn't stop myself from drinking the other two, I thought guiltily.
"Er, yes, that should be enough. You can stop now, if you want."
Claire grimaced, and pulled the needle out of her arm.
I put down my pen, and tucked the small blue book back under the rug, where it belonged.
"Excellent. Bring it over here."
Claire picked up the bag and walked over, handing it to me as roughly as possible. I raised my eyebrows.
"What do you do with it all?" She grumbled.
"I drink it."
She stared at me dubiously for a second, then snorted with laughter.
"Seriously, Myrnin."
I rolled my eyes, sighing. I didn't want to have to lie to her. Not anymore. Too much of my life was taken up by lies and pretences. Always denying myself what I truly wanted. But I was scared of telling her the truth, scared that she might not forgive me. So I lied.
"I'm just using it in lots of my experiments at the moment. I'll be done soon." I said.
Claire sighed. "Okay." She sat down next to me, and the awkwardness that had developed since Eve's visit yesterday returned again.
I watched Claire thoughtfully whilst her attention was elsewhere, and noticed how strained she seemed. She was taking short breaths in through her mouth, and looked like she was having a hard time staying still where she was.
I was confused for a moment, then remembered that she hadn't fed since yesterday, and that even then she hadn't taken much. Not to mention the amount of blood she had already lost today.
"Claire?"
"Mm?" Claire said absently.
I considered trying to broach the subject carefully, then gave up.
"Are you thirsty?"'
She closed her eyes for a second, taking a steadying breath.
"No." She said, without looking at me.
She was lying. But why? I watched her curiously. What good was it for her to deny herself?
"Yes you are."
She opened her beautiful eyes then, if only to glare at me.
"No, I'm not." She said through her teeth. Her voice was calm, but I could see her hunger in the muddy red colour of her irises.
I shrugged.
"Ok, then."
Her eyebrows went up.
"Okay?"
"Yes." I said, amused. "I want to see how long you will keep this up."
Hours passed. I kept myself busy with testing Claire's blood, saving the examination I would have to do on her until she had given in and fed. It would not do to have her try and eat my arm whilst I was testing her.
I kept a tab on her while I worked, of course, and I could sense her growing more and more tense. Her crimson eyes followed my movements around the room, and her breathing became shallower. I saw her grip slowly tightening on the seat of the couch until the fabric tore, exposing the soft foam innards. Seemingly unaware of the destruction she was causing to my furniture, Claire squeezed her eyes shut, hitting her head forcefully against the back of the couch.
Another few hours passed, and she hadn't moved from her position once. Her heartbeat had slowed down considerably, as the oxygenated blood in her system stretched thin. It made sense that she would need more blood then the average vampire; vampire blood was already second hand, so she would need roughly twice the amount.
I don't know how much more time passed; maybe a day. Vampires don't need much sleep. I went out of the room, succumbing to the growling in my own stomach, and heated up a bag of AB positive - my usual favourite. I tried to ignore the reflexes in my throat that wanted to gag at the way it tasted, and let it slide down my throat without swallowing. One bag was normally enough, but today I needed more. I heated another bag, and another. The fourth bag I didn't even bother to warm. It didn't make it taste any less disgusting.
I reentered the room silently. Claire made a twitching movement towards me as I passed her, then crushed herself into the sofa, drawing her knees up to her chest and locking her arms together around them so tightly that I could see little pinpricks of blood where her nails were digging in.
She lowered her head, making a small whimpering sound that I'm sure she didn't mean for me to hear.
Eventually, I couldn't stand to watch her struggle with herself anymore.
"Claire."
Her bright red gaze snapped to me, and I produced a small knife and a plastic beaker, preparing to make a small cut in the crook of my arm.
"You need to feed."
She shook her head violently, though I could plainly see her desire. Her eyes were glued to the point of the knife that I was already pressing to my arm.
"No."
Claire stood and backed away, her hand over her mouth and nose.
I watched as she stumbled into the corner, sinking into a defensive half-crouch.
"Claire." I said softly, walking towards her.
"No!" She snarled, her fangs snapping down and her eyes flashing red in fury. "Stay away!"
I stopped, shocked at her ferocity. I should have seen this coming; so much had happened in the last few days that it was a wonder Claire had managed to keep it together this long - or at all.
"Claire." I tried again, "You need to feed. Even if it's just a little. It's dangerous if you don't. We don't know what might happen."
Claire pressed herself against the wall as I took another step towards her. I could see tears glistening in her eyes.
"No. I won't. I won't." She whispered hoarsely, sliding further down the wall.
I took another step towards her, and she flinched.
"Please, Claire." I said softly, changing tactics.
She shook her head, and the motion turned into a shiver.
"No, Myrnin." She whispered. Her fangs hadn't retracted yet. "I can't. I can't...I can't become something that Shane hates." Her voice broke on the last word. My heart twisted when she mentioned that boy's name. He was doing this to her. Tears dripped down her cheeks, and her expression was one of self-loathing. Her hands twisted and clenched in her hair, the knuckles turning white.
She winced in pain, and I noticed something clenched in her left fist. It glinted silver, and I realised with horror that it was silver. A necklace of some sort. Claire's flesh was burning away around it, and it must have been causing her horrible pain, but she still kept a hold on it.
"Claire." I said in shock. She didn't respond. I saw blood start to drip down her wrist, and hated myself for what I was about to do. Claire would probably never forgive me.
I darted towards her, ripping the necklace from her hands before she could react, then hauling her round and dragging her towards me, holding her upper body still with one arm whilst I tore into the flesh of the other with my teeth.
She snarled, and tried to twist out of my arms. I tightened my grip on her, and held my wrist forcefully to her mouth, trying to get her to drink the blood. Claire thrashed around violently, her nails scraping along my arms, leaving bloody welts that healed quickly.
She refused to swallow my blood, keeping her lips tightly closed.
"Come on, Claire." I said in frustration, ignoring the pain at my wrist. "I cannot allow you to starve yourself. You will go insane."
Claire growled viciously, turning her head to the side. I was unwilling to hurt her, and consequentially, my arms slipped. She used my momentary weakness to elbow me in the stomach. It was so unexpected that I let go of her completely, and she scrambled backwards across the floor, wiping her mouth and spitting out the tiny amount of blood I had managed to force into her mouth.
Her eyes were wide, and crimson. She was breathing heavily, and I cannot imagine how much self-control it took for her not to attack me. She was starving, and the taste of my blood was fresh in her mouth.
Claire slumped against the wall, shaking. A fine tremor ran through her whole body, and her eyes were unfocused.
I moved quickly towards her, and she flinched away. Her reaction time was even slower than it had been fifteen minutes ago. She clambered to her feet, leaning heavily on the wall. Claire stumbled a few paces, then slipped down the wall, landing on her knees.
I caught up with her, and crouched down, placing a hand on her shoulder. She cringed away, twitching her head to look up at me.
"No." She whispered. "Please don't make me..."
"Shh. It's okay." I murmured, sitting down next to her, my legs stretched out. I pulled her small body into the space between my legs, her back to me. She let her head drop down to rest against my shoulder.
Slowly, I reached up and made a deep cut in my neck with the knife. It was in an identical place to the one I had made a few days previously. Claire whimpered as the smell hit her, and I wrapped an arm around her to stop her from bolting. With my other hand, I guided her head round to the cut.
"No."
She whimpered again, and pushed at my arms feebly. She was already very weak, and I knew she wouldn't be able to resist the blood that was flowing out of my neck and over her mouth for much longer.
Eventually, her struggles ceased, and I felt her nuzzle into my neck once before she latched onto the cut and began to draw out blood.
I winced at the twinge of pain this caused, then growled in pleasure. I couldn't help it.
Claire twisted around slightly, although I still kept ahold of her. Her hand cupped the side of my face and as she drank from me, and she hummed in satisfaction.
I let my head fall back against the wall, sliding my eyes closed. Claire's grip on me grew firmer as she turned herself around completely, kneeling up and moving her legs so that she was straddling me.
Thankfully, I don't think she realised how much that position affected me, so intent was she on drawing out my blood.
Suddenly I felt the portal opening. I immediately knew it was the boy, Shane, who had arrived unannounced this time. I could smell him. However, I could also sense that Oliver was with him. I growled, and tried to refrain from getting up and ripping out both of their throats. Oliver because I dislike him intensely, and Shane for what he had done to my Claire.
I heard the boy's breathing hitch as he obviously caught sight of us, and I half opened one eye. I passed over Oliver, preferring to ignore him. Shane looked sickened, and my fingers itched to strangle him.
"Claire."
His voice startled Claire. She jumped up, crouching protectively in front of me. I smiled. She was instinctively protecting her meal.
I stood silently as she growled at Shane.
I'm sure she was creating quite the picture for him, with my blood dripping down her chin. Her fangs were extended, and her eyes flashed crimson. One should never interrupt a starving vampire in the middle of feeding.
Shane was standing stiffly, staring at her in horror and disgust. His gaze shifted to me, and his expression turned to one of loathing.
The feeling was, at least, mutual.
"What have you done to her?" He demanded. He took a step towards me, fists clenched, and Claire snarled in warning. He froze, staring at her with wide eyes.
It was clear she still wasn't thinking clearly, and I was all for letting her attack and kill him, but I knew she would never forgive me if I let her do that. Oliver was staring at Claire with intense curiosity.
"Claire." I said softly.
Her head snapped round at the sound of my voice. For a moment, she didn't show any recognition, then the crimson faded from her eyes, which returned to their normal brown and widened in shock.
She licked her lips, and tasted my blood on them. Claire raised a pale hand to her face, then looked at the blood in confusion.
"Wha-...Oh." A look of horror dawned on her face and she turned to face Shane. He was staring at her as if seeing her for the first time.
"Shane..."
There was a silence, which, of course, Oliver broke.
"I believe Shane came to apologise to Claire. I escorted him, on Amelie's orders." He paused, and smirked. "She seemed to think you might need some help controlling her, Myrnin."
I growled in the back of my throat. I was fully aware that, yet again, I had been caught in a... compromising position.
Oliver smiled smugly, and turned to Shane.
"Well? Get on with it, boy."
Shane's fists clenched, and I could tell that he, like I, was ready to punch Oliver. But he didn't take his eyes off of Claire.
Claire had relaxed her position, and was trying to make herself look as small and non-threatening as possible.
"I- I came to say that... I'm sorry for what I did to you the other day. And that I couldn't ever stop- stop loving you, no matter whose blood you had to drink." He glanced at me quickly. "And that I hoped that you could forgive me." He finished almost at a whisper, and smiled shakily. His eyes were wet.
I felt despair drench me. I knew Claire would forgive him. She forgave everyone. And then she would leave me. She would leave me, alone, for him. Of course she would. How did I ever think she could love me?
But Claire stood where she was, gazing at Shane with sad eyes.
His smile faltered. "You- you won't forgive me?" He said hoarsely.
"Of course I forgive you." She whispered. "But can you forgive me?"
My dead heart skipped a beat.
"For what?" Shane said.
Claire bit her lip, then made the mistake of glancing at me.
"No." Shane whispered. "You- you said you didn't!"
I saw Oliver's smile widen. For him, this was entertainment.
Claire looked shocked, then embarrassed, and shook her head quickly.
"What? No! No, no we haven't! I didn't!" She said quickly. I frowned, confused. What had they discussed before?
Shane looked relieved for a moment, then his expression darkened again.
"Then what? Tell me!" He said desperately. "Is this about you having to drink his blood? Look, Amelie told me. I don't care about that. I love you!" He cried, breaking down.
Claire flinched when he told her he loved her. She shook her head miserably.
"No, Shane." She said softly. "It's not that. I-"
She broke off and looked at me again. My heart lifted as I realised what she was trying to tell him.
Shane followed her gaze, and anger passed across his features. He turned on Claire.
"You- you and him? You and him?"
Claire made no answer, and I watched as a tear glided down her cheek, splashing quietly to the floor.
"I can't believe this, Claire." Shane said furiously. "What the fuck happened when he vamped you? Did you inherit some psychotic leech gene from him? You've changed."
"No!" Claire croaked. "I - it's not...it was...before." She finished miserably.
Shane's features twisted in rage and disgust, and Claire tried desperately to salvage the situation.
"I didn't mean to, Shane. I didn't mean for it to happen!"
"Do you love him?" He demanded.
"What?" Claire said, caught by surprise.
"Do you love him?" Shane spat.
Claire glanced at Oliver, then me again. I felt my heart breaking almost audibly. This was the moment when she would laugh, and tell Shane that no, of course she didn't love me. How could she ever love me?
There was silence as everyone waited for her answer.
"I-I-" She stammered. Shane's eyes narrowed, and she bit her lip. "I- I don't know- I..." She trailed off, looking at Shane with pleading eyes. Oliver looked horrified. He had obviously expected the same answer as I had. By the look on Shane's face, so had he.
"Claire?" He said.
She dropped her gaze to the floor.
"Please don't make me answer." She whispered miserably, and I suddenly forgot how to breathe. Shane's expression was unreadable. It was as if he had suddenly turned off all emotion. Oliver's was still aghast.
"I don't believe it." He murmured. Neither could I. What did this mean? Did she love me?
"Claire." Shane said abruptly, his voice steady and monotone. "I think we should break up."
"What?" She gasped, pain and shock flashing across her face.
"I'm sorry. I can't be with you if you love him. This is too much for me right now." He bit the end off of every word, holding back his emotion.
"No!" Claire said. "Please, Shane. Please don't."
She didn't deny it.
He had already turned and started to leave, but I saw the anguish on his face before he did. So did Claire.
"No! I know you care, Shane! Don't you dare pretend you don't! Don't you dare!" She reached forwards, pulling him around to face her again.
"Let go!" Shane roared, tears spilling down his cheeks. He pushed her away from him and she stumbled backwards. She fell before I could move to catch her, and stared up at Shane in shock.
"How dare you!" I snarled, rushing forwards and grabbing him by the collar. "You don't deserve her, little boy!" I spat, tightening my hands around his throat. He struggled, his eyes widening as I cut off his air supply.
"Myrnin!" Claire cried out, putting her small hand on my sleeve. "Stop! Please."
I dropped Shane, and he crumpled to the floor, gasping for air. Claire flew to him, trying to help him up.
He wrenched his arm out of her grip, and stood up. He looked furious.
"We're over, Claire." He spat out. Claire flinched, and Shane fixed his gaze on me. "I won't forget this, bloodsucker." He said threateningly.
I growled. "Get out of my home, Collins."
"Gladly." He retorted, then turned and stalked out. Claire dropped to her knees, sobbing.
Oliver looked bemused.
"Well." He said drily. I don't think any of us were expecting that."
Whew...I swear my chapters are getting longer each time... is that a good thing or a bad thing? Do you guys prefer them to be shorter?
...I've just realized that I have entirely forgotten about Frank in this story...I'll have to fit him in later...somehow...
Anyway, the usual; PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! :D xxxxx