Hello dearest readers! Here is Chapter Five of Fuickleberrry. Serendipity-Shadowcat made the reply once that she keeps missing the "i" in Fuickleberry. Heh. I've never made that typo yet. YET. Only a matter of time.

Thanks as always for the much loved response. You're all the poop.

.

-Chapter Five-

***August 2010****

###" The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!"###

.

"That was really…fun…girls."

"Why thank you, Finn! I still hold out hopes that I'll be cast as the iconic Annie. I believe that my shorter stature will allow me to pass as a ten-year-old."

"Is that why you dress like a ten-year-old from 1978?"

"Down, Quinn, stop picking on the midget."

"NOAH! I really wish you would cease and desist with the name calling!"

"Berry-pants you just called yourself a midget. Why am I not allowed to do the same? And besides, the song was loud…sure, but I've heard you go louder. And how in the hell was that supposed to be angry?"

"I sang it angrily."

"I'm always angry, lately."

"Especially during sex. It's scary and super awesome at the same time."

"Shut up, Finn!"

"I'm sorry that my musical tastes don't run towards the absurdly angry. I happen to think that any particular song could be infused with anger if you are a talented enough singer. A voice is part of an actor's arsenal!"

"Oh my God. I figured it out. I only get the urge to make-out with Rupaul when she goes on idiotic tirades. It's the only thing I can think of to shut her the hell up."

"Really? That's how I felt too. Especially when she's got the crazy eyes and the fast talking going on."

"Stop talking about her mouth that way, Finnana. I'm going to punch your teeth out."

"Don't talk to him that way, Puck! You can't threaten Finn anymore."

"Oh, that's cause it's your job now? You guys have this kinky violent sex thing going on, Fabray?"

"You're one to talk, Puck. You and Man-hands have the kinky damsel in distress, dude in distress thing going. Every time one of you is even close to being in danger, you become like…two, slutty Jewish magnets with no concept of public decency."

"Quinn, I'm very impressed that our time together this summer has really made your syntax, vocabulary and dramatic sense of irony really flourish. I'd like to lay claim to a small part of this vast improvement in your mental processes."

…

…

…

…

"I hate you Rupaul."

"I know. But I think in the last six weeks, I've come to realize that when you say that, it still means that you're growing accustomed to me. I think that when we go back to school, perhaps we won't be the closest of friends, but certainly a strong bond has formed."

"A bond between two pairs of girly, soft lips."

"Seriously Finn. SHUT UP!"

"Well done, Man-hands."

"Back on track people. You three still want to follow my plan?"

"Yes, I'm sorry Noah. We were distracted. You want an angry song. Still—I don't really have those in my repertoire…"

"Bullshit, Berry-pants. I've carefully supervised your music the last six summers. Drop the perfect act. I know your deepest darkest secrets."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Certainly, it's true that I enjoy a wide variety of music. I simply don't-"

###" Yeah here we go for the hundredth time
Hand grenade pins in every line

Throw 'em up and let something shine
Going out of my fucking mind

Filthy mouth, no excuse
Find a new place to hang this noose

String me up from atop these roofs
Knot it tight so i won't get loose

Truth is you can stop and stare
Run myself out and no one cares

Dug the trench out laid down there
With a shovel up out of reach somewhere

Yeah, someone pour it in
Make it a dirt dance floor again

Say your prayers and stomp it out
When they bring that chorus in"##

...

…

…

##"I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away

I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away!"##

#BANG!#

"What in the hell are you four freaks doing in here?"

***June 2010***

Golden glittery blades of sunshine danced over Puck's face, causing him to stir ever so slightly. He hadn't had such a great night's sleep in a long time. Like, maybe when he was twelve or so. Before his school problems with Rachel ever began. Those few weeks when they were footloose and fancy free at their first summer camp together. He had slept that well then, when he and Rachel would bunk at one another's house, watch scary movies together, build a pillow fort, and toast marshmallows over scented candles (not recommended. Marshmallows aren't supposed to taste like clean linen). That was the last time he would fall asleep so deeply he literally didn't even dream. He'd just wake up with that smell of Johnson and Johnson shampoo.

He sniffed the air with his eyes still tightly clamped shut and there it was. One of the best smells in the world. His Berry-pants.

Suddenly he shot upwards in his bed, his eyes darting around anxiously. Where in the hell were they? He looked to the small bed next to him and saw that Finn was sprawled out awkwardly, his body too big for the child sized bed. He very much resembled a giant in a dollhouse, with his legs dangling over the mattress at least two feet.

"DUDE!" Puck hissed, taking his pillow and launching it a comatose Finn. "What happened?"

They had been in Brandi's eighteen-wheeler. And they had driven way past the gas station in Western Star. Brandi had pulled the truck over at a rest-stop and gotten out, locking them in.

And then he woke up here. What in the hell?

"Noah?"

Rachel's whisper echoed throughout the small cabin. Puck hopped off of his bed, and was surprised that his coordination was way off. He stumbled slightly and met Rachel halfway, where she too seemed befuddled and clumsy. He gripped his hands on her upper arms gently and gave her a once over.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"Yes, I seem to be quite alright. What in the world is going on?" Rachel wondered, her voice small and scared.

That probably scared Puck more than if he had found her with broken bones. She was scared. She seemed uncertain and terrified. It wasn't right. He never saw her scared. He hated it. He pulled at her arms very suddenly and embraced her tightly, soothing her as he petted her long brown locks and pressed his lips to the side of her temple.

"We're okay…we are. I'll get us out of this I promise."

"Ugh…that's not exactly what I wanted to wake up to…" Quinn groggily complained form her bed. "Why are you two like…entangled?"

"We seem to be out of our element, Quinn," Rachel shrugged, still not giving up her hold on Puck as they hugged in the middle of the cabin. "You wouldn't happen to know what happened, would you?"

"The last thing I remember is smacking Finn upside the head for farting in the truck," Quinn slowly sat up in her tiny bed. She looked over to see that Finn was also stirring.

"Mommy, there's something wrong with my pogo stick…"

Puck's eyes went wide as Finn slowly woke from whatever seriously messed up dream he had been having. Finn wiped drool from his face and he mumbled, "I didn't do it."

"Do what? Break your pogo stick?" Puck smirked.

"Fart…I didn't. That wasn't my gas. I know the smell of my own gas," Finn rubbed sleep from his eyes as he yawned away the very deep slumber he had unwittingly fell into. "You should too. We've farted in each other's faces enough..."

"It was Brandi…she gassed us when she left her truck," Puck deduced. "We were all out for the same amount of time…we all went out at the same time. Quinn…your phone…"

Quinn dug in her back pocket and pulled it out, clutching it in her hands and checking it with a definite sense of desperation.

"It's…oh my God, it's been a whole day!" Quinn exclaimed.

"Which means we could be anywhere," Rachel lamented. She finally disentangled herself from the comforting safety of Puck's arms and walked cautiously towards the window of the cabin, peering out into the world. "I would deduce that from the foliage and other plant life that we're still somewhere near Ohio…certainly we're not on the West Coast at least."

"We're in West Virginia," Quinn accessed the GPS program on her phone. "And Mike and Matt are in West Beaver, Pennsylvania."

"Heh, Beaver," Finn chuckled.

"Not the time, dude." Puck shook his head in disbelief. He smirked and admitted, "Alright, anytime is a good time for beaver."

The boys laughed, and Rachel and Quinn each rolled their eyes. Suddenly the door to the cabin slammed open and the quartet of teenagers were face to face with their kidnapper. Brandi Wilton looked between each of them suspiciously, nodding approvingly at Quinn and Finn, who were still in bed. She scowled at Rachel, who was standing by the window, trying to appear inconspicuous. She looked at Puck last and loudly declared,

"We're going to have a problem, boy…you are breaking the rules!"

"By…being too awesome for your lame-ass cabin?"

"Profanity! Vanity! And Covetous behavior!" Brandi snarled at him.

"Vanity?" Puck furrowed his brow. He looked down and saw that he was shirtless, as he had been when Brandi picked them all up in the first place. "Lady, if you've got it, flaunt it. Come on, Puckzilla was made to be displayed."

"You are crossing a line, boy," Brandi muttered angrily.

"Crossing the line of being fine? Hell yeah, I am," Puck arrogantly declared.

"Noah," Rachel whispered from behind Brandi. She made desperate gestures for him to stop taunting the crazy lady who had kidnapped them. But he simply shrugged, turning on every asshole and sex pheromone he had. She couldn't blame him, it was his natural response to being threatened. He wouldn't heed her desperate advice, Puck was never good with verbal or visual directions. He was always the hands on-learner.

"This room is separated for the good of your immortal souls. Good girls stay on one side and good boys stay on the other!" Brandi pointed down at the visible white line drawn down the middle of the room.

"How in the hell are we supposed to have crazy as fuck orgies if we're separated? I'm endowed lady, but still-"

"You're going to be a hard one to break, I see," Brandi nodded. She shrugged and said, "I could use a good challenge. I will turn you into a good Christian soul if it kills you."

Rachel audibly gasped and held her hand to her mouth immediately, looking at Noah with crazy, begging eyes. She hoped just once, Puck would resist the urge to defy authority and go along with their crazy captor until they could all figure a way out.

"Fuck that, I'm the finest ass Jew in this world."

No such luck there. Rachel slowly edged towards Brandi, hoping to somehow plead Noah's case. Perhaps explain that he had unexplainable, unmedicated Tourette's. She never got the chance, because Brandi flew into action, pulling a small, black hand held device out of her pocket and aiming it at Puck carefully, pulling a trigger.

"NOAH!" Rachel screamed as his body spasmed voilently and quickly. Rachel threw herself at his twitching body and cried out angrily, "What did you do to him?"

"Relax, child. He'll live. He's just tazed," Brandi pushed Rachel away from an unconscious Puck. "He's going in the repentance box. He'll learn right quick."

Rachel struggled with Brandi for control of Puck's unmoving body, trying to keep him with her when suddenly Quinn had her arms around her in a comforting motion. The last thing they needed was Rachel tazed with the same voltage that had just taken down Puck. She held Rachel tight as the girl sobbed out, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"NOAH! GIVE HIM BACK! Don't HURT HIM!"

The cabin door slammed shut and locked once more, and Finn rushed to the window to see where Brandi was going. He reported back quietly, his words barely heard over Rachel's frantic sobbing.

"It's a big wooden box in front of the cabin. He's okay…we'll get him out of there. Rach? Calm down…he's okay."

Quinn soothed Rachel as best as she could, as the brunette was still shaking with silent cries in Quinn's arms. She stroked Rachel's hair, much as she had seen Puck doing moments earlier. She brought her lips to Rachel's ear and whispered very softly,

"You really love him don't you?"

***Elsewhere***

"I wonder where everyone is?"

Tina looked at Artie and shrugged. "It was really weird that Rachel and Finn missed our double date last night."

"Yeah, weird. But sort of enjoyable for those of us who benefited from a single date," Artie smiled winningly at his girlfriend.

"But Rachel wouldn't miss an appointment she put on her calendar for like…anything," Tina admitted. "I mean, someone would have to physically tie her down or something."

"Very true," Artie nodded. Suddenly his cell phone began ringing, the ring tone that blared at him was Shakira's "Hips don't lie". Tina raised a curious eyebrow as Artie fumbled for his phone. "Hi…uhm, hey. Hi Santana. What's up?"

Tina rolled her eyes and listened in shamelessly. It wasn't that difficult. Santana was screaming into the phone.

"Where in the hell is Rachel?"

"Uhm, Tina and I were just wondering the same thing. She and Finn missed our double date to see Twilight last night," Artie revealed.

"I don't want to hear about your secret gay wanting for sparkly vampires, Wheels. I want to know where Berry is. Or Puck…or Jesus, even Quinn!"

"Uhm, I'll call you if I hear from them?" Artie promised, clearly frightened of the fire breathing woman on the other end of the phone. Santana merely hung up rudely and Artie shrugged helplessly at Tina. "I think there might be a problem…"

"We'll talk about Santana having your digits later, Artie. Right now, let's see what we can find out about Rachel, Finn, Puck and Quinn."

##########

Song credit: "Bleed it Out" Linkin Park I'm not their biggest fan, but that song is din-o-mit-aa.

Does anyone think that electro-shock therapy will make Puck...not Puck? Does Brandi have a lot batteries to be able to keep recharging that thing to discipline Puck into a good Christian? Who joined the Fuickleberry party in the Bellagio vault? Will the Bellagio let me into a vault so I can do some research? What did Tina and Artie do on their single date? Why does Santana have Artie's digits? Are the Glee club going to activate and unite to save poor Fuickleberry? And oh yeah, Mike and Matt too?

All of these questions may be answered and more...sometime before Monday. Mucho de love to all. Thanks for reading!