Good evening everyone! Thanks for all the awesome responses. I crack up at swear words (Me=mentally 12). You were all very impressive potty mouths. A plus for the day.

So, just to let everyone know, I watched Step Up 3D yesterday. Totally worth the eight bucks and the cheese. Visually arresting is my professional movie going opinion. And Harry Shum Jr. is adorable as usual.

Okay, the rating has been increased to M. Sigh. I was hoping to keep it kosher y'all. But that's totally impossible given that it's Puckleberry. Dammit.

-Chapter Eight-

***August 2010***

The harsh, fluorescent lighting had never been such a welcome sight to four pairs of exhausted eyes. The glare caused all four teenagers to squint as they very slowly and stealthily walked the labyrinth like maze of hallways in what they assumed was the fifth basement level of the Bellagio hotel. Puck had informed them that he had counted the feeling of each floor when they had been led down to the basement blindfolded.

"You're a crackpot," Finn accused, looking to the girls for backup and finding none.

"He hasn't gotten us killed yet," Quinn shrugged, gripping Finn's hand in her own and squeezing in a reassuring gesture, as if to take some of the sting off that her confidence in her baby daddy had induced.

"And he won't, I have complete and total faith in Noah," Rachel smiled as brightly as she could as her best friend smirked back at her and took two steps forward. "What now, Noah?"

"Yeah, fearless leader…who managed to somehow turn a simple rescue mission into getting involved in a casino robbery…what now?" Finn rolled his eyes. "And how are we gonna manage to not you know…make the evil robbers kill the others in retaliation for screwing up the robbery plan thing?"

"Trust me," Puck insisted gruffly.

Quinn shivered as his words induced a short, terrifying flashback. She swallowed the urge to start rocking back and forth in the fetal position as she watched the father to her bastard child peaking around the corner with a small compact mirror that he had kept in his pocket.

"How'd you get that?" Quinn wondered. "I could have used that a month ago to like…fix my hair when we were in the wild."

"Berry-pants makes me keep some stuff in my pockets. Old habits," Puck shrugged. He met Quinn's curiosity with a non-committal shrug and a leering smirk, "She doesn't have much room for anything in those skirts…I'm the default pocket."

"I love it when he wears cargo shorts," Rachel nodded with a quirk of her eyebrows. "I get to carry three different lip glosses then. And you know Quinn how essential it is to have beauty and fashion options available at your fingertips."

Quinn shook her head in amusement and she squeezed Finn's hand again before muttering, "I used to make Finn carry my mascara."

"Sometimes I still do…I know my mom still cuts the coupons cause I used to have to replace them when I'd melt them in the microwave," Finn remembered fondly. He was met with a questioning look from both Puck and Rachel and sighed before explaining, "I like to warm my pants on cold days sometimes."

"Fucking Pogo stick," Puck chuckled. He held up a hand suddenly as he saw movement flitter across the mirror. "There are three dudes left in there…they've got guns."

"And we're out, no more guns, please," Quinn begged.

"If they wanted us dead, they would have wasted us like, forever ago," Puck reminded her. He looked between the three people he had spent the entire summer with, three people he had effectively been through hell and back with. "I won't let anything bad happen to you guys…I promise."

"I believe you," Rachel and Quinn said in unison, before looking at each other sheepishly.

Finn felt another squeeze of his hand and he looked down as Quinn looked up at him expectantly. He let a small, tight smile take over his countenance before asking, "Alright…what do you have in mind, man?"

***July 2010***

##"He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God "##

"Wow...Miss Walton…your voice is like a gift from angels," Quinn smiled in adoration up at the woman who was currently brushing her hair. Quinn did her best not to betray her true thoughts on the matter as she did her very best to appear as the doting, repentant girl that Brandi certainly wanted her to be.

"Why thank you, Quinn. I think that your voice is very nice as well. However-"

Quinn furrowed her brow slightly, allowing easy tears to pool in her eyes. She had used the tears in her past life against her father like a seemingly deadly weapon. Not allowed to go with her friends to the mall? BANG! Tears and she was given the beamer and his gold American Express card with no curfew. Not permitted to attend the concert in Cleveland? BANG! She was set up with the hottest VIP suite and a hired car to and from the concert. Knocked up at sixteen? Bang! Out on her ass without a second thought. So- - - maybe there was a limit to the power of the beautiful tears after all, but she was sure Brandi would buy them.

"The song is a little too-rock and roll, which we all know is the heathen's music. I believe that your voice is more ideally suited to a lovely children's hymn…do you remember any from your life before those evil Jews?" Brandi wondered, working at French braiding Quinn's hair into pig tails.

Quinn forced another docile, gentile smile and took a deep breath as Finn came into the room with a tray of steaming mugs of hot chocolate. Brandi finished her braiding and Finn handed her a cup as Quinn began to softly sing,

##"1,2,3 Jesus loves me
1,2 Jesus loves you
2,3,4 He loves you more
than you've ever been loved before.
5,6,7 I'm on my way to heaven,
8,9 soon to be mine
8,9,10 Its time to win
Now lets all sing it again"##

Finn blushed, remembering that song very clearly. She used to sing it to him, replacing Jesus with his name. He had thought it insanely cute, and if he were forced to tell the truth at that moment, he would still say it was insanely cute. He shook his head from side to side as he watched Brandi gulp down her hot cocoa. He had to get these smushy feelings he had for Quinn out of his head. She had just given birth to Puck's daughter less than a month ago. And on that very same day he had told Rachel that he loved her.

Of course that was before he had learnt of Rachel and Puck's secret life-long friendship. He knew all the jokes about his own intelligence, and he would readily admit that he wasn't the smartest guy in the room. But he had been stalked by Rachel for the first half of the school year. He would think that Puck would have done something about that…

"That was lobley…lovely, child," Brandi smiled, her voice thick and her eyelids heavy. "Sing it again…"

Quinn did as she was told, standing next to Finn, feeling brave and strong as Finn suddenly gripped her hand. They watched as Brandi slowly faded into deep, unconscious black.

"I hope we didn't kill her," Finn whispered, as Quinn finished the song again.

"It's Ambien and Valium. She'll live," Quinn said softly. Her OB-GYN had hooked her up with sweet meds to stave off post-partum. Apparently giving your bastard child up for adoption made depression that much more likely in new teenage mothers. She sighed and quickly went to work, reaching for the blankets on the couch and wrapping Brandi up in them as Finn went for the rope that Puck had found while wandering around the grounds the previous night. "Although, people like her? People like her would have spit in my face when I was pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I still love Christianity and whatever, but there's got to be some sort of middle ground."

"I'll take care of the knots," Finn assured Quinn, seeing that she was two steps away from becoming an emotional wreck. He sort of wished he hadn't used all of her meds to drug their kidnapper. "You go and get Rach and Puck, I gotta get the list of what Puck told me to get. I'll meet you at the truck."

***The Box, July 2010***

"What in the ever loving hell are you wearing, Berry-pants?"

Rachel took a deep breath and blushed slightly as she looked down at her plain white cotton dress. It was what Brandi had thrown at her and Quinn yesterday after they had washed themselves in the outdoor shower. Brandi had deemed it proper Christian clothing for children, but Rachel knew that most of her skirts hit lower on her thigh than the dress did. And that made the dress seriously short.

"Good Christian girls wear these, apparently," Rachel squirmed as she lay on her side, opposite Puck in the very cramped quarters of the repentance box. She gave a dissecting look into Noah's gaze, her eyes blinking rapidly as she tried to read his emotions. "Are we going to be okay, Noah?"

"We'll be fan-freaking-tastic as soon as we get the hell out of Jesus Camp," Puck assured her. He squeezed her shoulders and left his hand there, his thumb rubbing slow circles. "I wonder how long it'll take Finn to drug that crazy bitch."

"I'm sure they'll do their cunning best," Rachel nodded. "I'm sure that you and I could have accomplished the task sooner…but we're…"

"Evil, evil Jews," Puck laughed, his hand drifted from her shoulder, down her back, pulling her closer, if it were possible in such cramped quarters. "Evil. Naughty."

"Basic," Rachel whispered.

"Berry-pants, we might die, and I haven't had action since…"Puck faltered and a horrified expression took over his face. "Damn, since we went to Carmel that night after our funk number."

"Really?" Rachel whispered.

"I wouldn't lie to you," Puck scoffed. "I haven't gotten laid since Quinn. That's forever and a fucking day there."

"You're kidding!" Rachel exclaimed. "But Santana?"

"Sexting only."

"April Rhoads?"

"Barely cognizant BJ."

"Quinn?"

"Yeah right, I didn't want her DOUBLE pregnant!"

"…Mercedes?"

Puck laughed in a manner which Rachel could only describe as uproarious. He calmed down and said, "You know what Matt would do to me? I mean…I like the little Puckster way too much. He's a cool dude…maybe you two should meet…"

"Noah," Rachel breathed reproachfully, although she wasn't stopping his hand from traveling downwards, squeezing her bottom in an almost worshipful manner

"What if I die without ever having touched your boobs?" Puck whispered, feeling his eyebrow quirk upwards as she placed a hand on the side of his cheek.

"I'm not having sex with you in a box…"Rachel said reproachfully. "It's not the most romantic way I can picture my first time."

"Berry-pants we don't actually have to do you know- it," Puck smirked. "There's plenty of other fun shit. And you already know how to do that…I know you do."

Rachel squinted her eyes at him dangerously and he chuckled before admitting, "If only cause you caught me doing it from time to time."

"This is so very, very far from basic, Noah," Rachel murmured, her hand traveling further down his chest, her fingers fidgeting against the button to his jeans.

"We could die," Puck repeated, his own fingers dancing along the bottom of the dress she had been forced to wear by their captor. "And I feel that its only right that you experience one little thing before something like that happens."

"Noah!" Rachel giggled as his hands quickly went to work. She bit her lip in tortured pleasure and found her own hands wandering in a similar pattern, on their own accord. And further giggling or cooing was muffled by his lips as he heatedly kissed her. His mouth seemed just as greedy and eager as his hand and time seemed to evaporate. Their dangerous situation they had landed themselves seemed to only add fuel to an already fully stoked fire.

"I love you, Berry-pants," Puck groaned as they continued their mutual ministrations, his mind completely melted inside of his skull. He couldn't understand how her tiny hand was providing the most amazing friction, torque and pressure in the world. Man-hands indeed. He would never be able to do this himself again. As soon as they were safe, he was going to trick her into signing an exclusive hand-job contract.

She paused momentarily and blinked her eyes very rapidly at him. Her mouth fell open and he took it as an invitation, his tongue rolling slow and languid circles against her own causing her to whimper at the sensation. She trembled against him as his rough fingers sought out her soft, wet skin, moving quickly then slowly, then quickly again as his tongue and fingers seemed to perform identical choreography. She pulled away from his mouth and gasped, "N—Noah, what did you say?"

"Mmhmm, Love you Berry-pants," Puck whispered. "Fucking love you."

"Oh god," Rachel shuddered, feeling a wave of heat rush right through her as a tickling pressure exploded under Puck's skillfull hands. Her hips bucked wildly in time with her own hand and soon Puck joined her as they both came to their own dizzying conclusions.

They were breathless and spent as Puck tenderly kissed her lips repeatedly. Rachel eventually recovered her powers of speech and couldn't help but take a deep breath before she launched herself into rapid speech between quick pecks against her lips.

"Noah, I can't believe that you actually said those words. I was already pleasing you with my hand, obviously saying that wasn't going to get you more, and there isn't adequate space or room for the flexibility required for anything further than what we just did…which leads me to wonder why you would actually let those words fall from your lips…"

"Flexibility, huh?" Puck raised an eyebrow.

"Noah," Rachel scolded. "You told me that you loved me."

"S'true. I thought you knew it already. Didn't think I was dropping some bombshell," Puck shrugged.

"I…I didn't know. There have been instances in our lives together wherein I knew I was your best friend and I knew that we loved each other in that way, but-"

"I love you, Berry-pants," Puck repeated softly. He met her gaze and hoped to convey just what love he meant. Not just best friends. Not just childhood cohorts. Not just girlfriend love. He didn't know how he could convey to her what he meant.

He didn't have to try, because she seemed to get it as she kissed him again, sweet and slow and dazed. He felt a ray of sunshine explode over them and he thought for sure it was like God saying Good job, Hot Jews at finally having gotten on the right path to eventually creating an army of hot Jews.

"GOD! DISGUSTING! GROSS! Could you two like…stop mating for five seconds? We could all die here!"

Rachel pulled away from Puck slowly, a flush on her face, looking as if she were in no hurry to distance herself from him as Quinn stood above them looking as if she might vomit at any moment.

"You two are so…ewww!" Quinn shuddered. "Are you done with the ridiculous shenanigans? Can we like, ESCAPE crazy town now?"

***Elsewhere, July 2010***

"Hey San? Remember like, when the Powerpuff girls tried to get revenge on the evil giant monkey thing?"

"Yeah sweetie, I remember," Santana smiled at Brittany indulgently.

"Well they totally failed, and then they got grounded with no candy," Brittany pouted.

"That was sad, sure, but they were being super bad and breaking rules. We're not breaking anything, sweetie," Santana insisted smoothly.

Brittany bit her lip and pouted slightly before regrouping her thoughts and trying again, "Remember when I tried to take revenge over the robot that was stealing my homework?"

"HA! You blew up your step-sister-in-law's crappy Toyota Camry," Santana laughed. "That totally worked out, Brit-brit. Andrea got a shiny new car out of the deal from the insurance money."

"Yeah, her kids like the new DVD player in the back of the mini-van," Brittany sighed, still not ready to accept her defeat she thought long and hard before coming up with, "Remember when Puck tried to take revenge on Finn for kissing Rachel? Quinn got totally pregnant. And I don't want us to have a baby until they find a cure for stretch marks."

"Brit, calm the fuck down, okay?" Santana sighed, checking her phone for messages for the fiftieth time in the last fifteen minutes. "This is only a small pit-stop on our way to eternal summer glory. Or at least it will be as long as Rachel or Puck stop hiding away and actually show up for the fun plans I have this summer."

"If I have car sex with you, will you forget about the revenge?"

Santana stared at Brittany sultrily and licked her lips as her mind wandered. She shook her head clear and said, "No, we're almost there. Keep trying to call Rachel's cell phone."

"Fine..." Brittany accepted defeat easily. She dialed Rachel for at least the fiftieth time that day and got her voicemail. "Hi Rachel! It's Brittany, again. You should call, because you definitely don't want Santana plotting revenge on you for ruining her summer. Cause right now, we've driven eight hundred miles and San's spent at least three thousand dollars of her college fund in order to exact revenge on someone else who totally pissed her off in the past. So you should call back and we can totally have a girl-time sleepover. It's time for you and Quinn to get initiated anyway. So…okay. Call back! Bye!"

###

Song Credits are some random lyrics I pulled off the inter-highway. Christian music is really one of the few genres I'm not totally into. That and death metal...weird.

- So, seriously? Have Fuickleberry always let Puck do the planning? And if so, shouldn't they have stopped after you know, getting kidnapped and then whatever happens from here until the Bellagio? How on Earth are they going to overpower three criminals with guns? How on Earth are they going to escape Camp Jesus? How on Earth are Puck and Rachel going to keep their hands off each other now that I've made this story rated M? And what in the hell are Brittany and Santana doing that its so important that Santana turned down Brittany car sex? I'm straight and probably wouldn't turn down Brittany car sex.

So...all of these questions and more M rated situations may be answered or come up in the next installment. Which I am ridiculously excited about.

Thanks as always, for reading!