Early! Happy Day before Glee-preemption y'all. You know what Glee preemption means? Me probably writing tomorrow. We'll see if we can get one closer to the end of Fuickleberry and one step closer to the next story, a different universe. Much different. (Still cracktastic though, I'm sure). Enjoy!
Chapter Thirteen
***July 2010***
"Quinn, you look so tired. I promise that I'm sober now, so you can totally trust me to drive the rest of the way. I haven't eaten any mushrooms in at least nine hours. You deserve a little nap…"
"I'm not letting you drive," Quinn said resolutely, blinking rapidly in an attempt to banish any tiredness that was lingering in her eyes. She, Rachel and Puck had each taken a three hour driving shift through the night, and they were less than ten miles away from Hershey, Pennsylvania. She threw a glare Finn's way and insisted, "We're almost there, you don't get a driving shift."
"But I'm sobered up, I haven't said the words Monkey Dud in at least twenty minutes," Finn countered.
"I'm not worried about your sobriety, I'm worried about your driving skills," Quinn explained with as much patience as she could muster. "You broke a mailman's hip on your first driving lesson."
"He came out of nowhere!" Finn shrugged.
"He was three days away from retirement! I hardly think that poor 67 year-old mailman was running a speedy hundred meter dash at the time," Quinn laughed. "And what happened your first three driving tests?"
"I failed the parallel parking test," Finn said quietly. He saw Quinn raise an eyebrow and he sighed, "And completely demolished eighteen orange cones."
"And what happened the next three driving tests?" Quinn goaded with a genuine smile.
"Ran through all the stop signs, turned down a one way street, and then I almost hit another mailman," Finn listed with a dramatic eye roll. "But I did wind up getting my license eventually."
"Only because the driver's license guy was sick of seeing your face and filing insurance claims. He made your mom promise that you would never drive during high pedestrian traffic times!" Quinn giggled. "Check the GPS, let me know when I should turn."
Finn reached for the phone that was in the center console, stealing a look back at a peacefully slumbering Puck and Rachel. He cringed seeing the way they were completely wrapped up in each other, Puck's lips actually pressed to Rachel's forehead as they slept. Quinn caught his movements and she softly whispered,
"They're telling the truth, you know. They really do have a history and care about each other. A history from before the both of us," Quinn sighed again. "They weren't doing anything sneaky behind either of our backs."
"Yeah, it's just too weird," Finn admitted. "It's going to take some getting used to. I mean, I spent the last year like, really scared that you and Puck were going to be together forever. Its freaky to think that I don't have to worry because he's totally like, Rachel's soul partner or whatever."
"You were scared about me and Puck?" Quinn wondered.
"Yeah, turn right here," Finn pointed out his directions. He smiled softly at Quinn and said, "You guys went through something huge last year, and I just thought that it would mean you'd always be together and I wouldn't ever have the chance to even look at you again…or…"
"Fool around in the forest with me again?" Quinn finished with a soft smile. "We're going to do this really slow, Finn. Because you and I have a lot of crazy emotions tied to both of us. But I would have been really sad if you know, I wouldn't have had the chance to look at you again, or fool around in a forest."
"Cool," Finn beamed back at her. He looked around and laughed, "The street lamps are Hershey's Kisses! That's so cool! Guys, wake up, we're totally here!"
Puck and Rachel groggily mumbled from the backseat, until Finn was smacking Puck's head with the bag that had been filled with their dirty clothes they had ditched and replaced at an all night Wal-mart just outside of Pennsylvania at two in the morning. Puck gripped the plastic bag and wrestled it from Finn's hand, before tossing it at the taller boy's head violently.
"Asshole," Finn mumbled miserably. His bad mood evaporated however when he heard the pleasant screaming of excited passengers on a nearby roller coaster. "COASTERS! Let's go!"
"You're like an overly excited puppy, Finn," Rachel mumbled, wiping sleep from her eyes as she tried to disentangle herself from Noah in the backseat, unsurprised that they boy wanted to keep a close hold.
"Don't wet yourself, ," Puck smirked. He finally relented to Rachel's pushing against him and allowed her to straighten herself out as all four teens excited the stolen car. He nodded towards the phone in Finn's hand and asked, "Where are we going?"
"Rachel?
The quartet turned to the stunned declaration of Rachel's name and each of their jaws dropped at what stood in front of them. Puck began laughing maniacally, his laughter quickly infecting a stunned Finn. Even Quinn was laughing eventually, but Rachel managed to just stare, her eyebrows knitted together in definite annoyance at what stood before her, half dressed in a ridiculously large bear costume.
Jesse St. James squirmed slightly as he clutched onto the head of his bear costume, flicking his eyes in annoyance to Rachel's traveling companions. Puck was actually on the ground at this point, clutching his sides with uncontrollable laughter.
"What are you doing here, Jesse?" Rachel demanded. "Why are you dressed like that? I thought you were in California! And…why are you dressed like a giant cartoon bear?"
"Giant-cartoon-bear!" Puck roared with laughter, slapping at Finn's knees with each word. "I'm gonna die. I'm legit gonna die of laughing. It's too awesome."
"Ask the delinquent rolling on the ground about California. I'm sure that he can explain," Jesse said coldly before putting the bear head over his own and walking off in what could have been a dramatic huff, had he not been waddling severely in his costume.
Rachel turned to Noah curiously and even through his absolutely ridiculous spouts of roaring laughter, she could tell he hadn't done anything to Jesse. He would have been far more prideful than amused. She looked to Finn who was also laughing and pointing at Jesse's waddling behind as he drifted off towards the theme park. She shrugged and looked to Quinn in hopes of finding someone to agree with her on the fact that they had stepped into the Twilight Zone.
"Oh! You?" she gasped, taking one look at the malicious smirk Quinn had on her face as she stared after Jesse. The former head cheerleader had a calm, cool calculation in her eyes, and a fair bit of pride. "Quinn, what on Earth did you do?"
"It wasn't only me," Quinn admitted. She shrugged at Rachel and said, "Santana, Brittany and I…we may have made Jesse lose his scholarship. No one messes with our team. And get that ridiculously sappy look out of your eyes. Yeah, he egged you and broke your heart, but he also was a spy for Vocal Adrenaline, insulted Santana's pitch, said that my tone was horrible and actually made Brittany cry once because he said she was turning to early on a dance step. We NEVER criticize Brittany. Even Coach Sylvester can't stand to see that girl cry."
"Well…thank you. But, however did you manage it?" Rachel wondered.
"Santana wrote out a script and had me call some of my Dad's friends who were alumni at his school, and then we sent them the surveillance tape from the parking lot on the day you were egged," Quinn shrugged. "We didn't lie too much. Just good enough to get him to lose his scholarship."
"Q, you're the best head bitch in the world," Puck declared, finally crawling from the ground. He grabbed the phone from Finn's hand and scrutinized it. He pointed to the east side of the amusement park, right next to what looked like the world's largest log flume ride and declared, "Our boys be that way."
* * *Lima* * *
"Hello Mrs. Puckerman! We were hoping to-"
"Not interested."
Mr. Schuester, Artie and Tina were absolutely stunned that Alison Puckerman had taken one look at them and slammed her front door in their faces. Mr. Schuester threw a sheepish look at his students before swallowing deeply and plucking up his courage in order to knock again. Two minutes later, Puck's mother swung the door open angrily and glared at the three people at the door with a look that was eerily reminiscent of the look Puck would give right before throwing a kid in the dumpster. Angry and slightly delighted at the same time.
"Look you three little Jehovah's Witness rejects, this is a house chock full of Jews, I'm not interested in your pamphlets, I'm not interested in your inspirational group prayer, and I'm REALLY not interested in your favorite guy, Jesus. Please leave and try cramming your religion down someone else's throat because my people weren't buying it 2000 years ago, and guess what? We ain't buying it now!"
"Uhm…Mrs. Puckerman, I'm Will Schuester!" Will called out as Alison slammed the door again. He called out hopefully and said, "I'm Puck's-Noah's choir teacher!"
Another few minutes passed before the door creaked open and Alison's hazel eyes peered through the crack of the door. She squinted at the teacher and said, "Noah's not here."
"We know-we were wondering if you knew where they might be?" Will wondered. "You see, we were hoping to have a meeting and Noah is missing, along with Rachel, Finn and Quinn."
"Yeah, they're all on a trip together. Satan-a had it all planned out. Go and talk to her. Now if you'll excuse me-"
"Mrs. Puckerman, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation, four of my club members have gone missing and none of us can get in touch with them. Have you spoken to your son this summer at all?" Will wondered, not too delicately, which only seemed to set the volatile woman in front of him off more.
"Oh don't worry, Mr. Will Schuester, I'm absolutely sure that you'll get Noah and Rachel back, even if you don't deserve them," Alison scoffed. "Noah told me every single time you trampled all over his poor Rachel throughout the year. And I was there at every performance, I saw the lack of solos my very talented Noah received…"
"Mrs. Puckerman," Will sheepishly attempted to interrupt.
"Enough, Noah is fine. Rachel is fine. They're probably having a very relaxing summer so far, being away from your club, getting ready to recharge for another fun filled year of getting trampled on and ignored at solo time. Good bye, Mr. Schuester, I'm working a double tonight and need to get a little rest," Alison insisted, slamming the door once again in Will's face.
"That went well," Artie deadpanned as Tina rolled her eyes. "Maybe we should track the Berry's down on their cruise instead."
* * *Hershey, PA* * *
"I don't see them…I don't see them anywhere. Noah, what if, what if something happened to them?" Rachel whispered desperately, clutching Puck's hand as they came to a stop in the middle of the parking lot, having tracked Rachel's cell phone signal directly to that spot.
"Black truck," Quinn pointed, winded after their sprint through the Hershey Parking lot. She bent over and took deep even breaths as Rachel reassuringly rubbed her back as the boys cautiously stepped towards the truck. She smiled ruefully at the girl whose life she had made miserable less than a year ago and said, "I seriously need to work on getting back in shape before school starts."
"I have a regimented plan that I would be more than happy to share with you," Rachel smiled. She gripped Quinn's hands as they watched their boys inspect the darkened windows of the Black Cadillac Escalade that hopefully still contained their very alive friends. "Be careful, Noah."
Puck smiled back at his girls and said, "We got this Berry-pants, Q…you guys stay over there."
"Ohhhh, manly men," Quinn rolled her eyes, still watching with interest as Finn held a large rock in his hands, gauging its effectiveness.
The girls winced as the rock met the glass of the driver's side window, smashed glass flying everywhere. Puck thrust his hand into the hole Finn made and unlocked the doors, jerking it open and looking inside for his friends. His whole body slumped in defeat at the empty car. He turned to Finn and muttered, "They've got to be around here somewhere. We didn't go through all of this for nothing."
"WHITE BOY! WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT ROCK?"
Rachel and Quinn spun around in shock at the very familiar shouting, each feeling both trepidation and a strange sense of calm at the friendly, yet pissed off face in front of them. Mercedes Jones glared at them and was soon followed by her family…and then…
"FINN? What did you to do Burt's car?" Carole Hudson demanded as she stood next to Burt Hummel, who was standing next to his astonished son.
"Mom? I thought you said you were camping…this isn't camping," Finn declared. "This is the sweetest place on Earth. You left me in Lima to watch while you went all Willy Wonka with Kurt and his dad and Mercedes' family?"
Her silence was all the answer he needed. Puck would swear on a stack of Rachel Berry's panties (one of the few things he held holy), that Finn muststill be high, because he turned very slowly and pitched the rock straight through the front window of Burt Hummel's Escalade.
So, Jesse St. James' future has been ruined because he insulted Brittany's dancing ability. I'd hate to see what Santana is going to do with the So You Think You Can Dance people if Brittany never makes it. And is Finn really not high anymore? Cause if so, that's totes depressing. How Badass is Mama P? LOVE HER. Is anyone surprised that she'd be miffed about how Schue treated her poor future Daughter-in-law? And seriously, they've been following Mercy, Kurt and their assorted fams all summer so far? Idiots. And if Burt kicked Finn out for using the F-word, what's gonna happen now that he busted the windows out of the car, again? Will he sign the song with the rest of Fuickleberry dancing backup in tiny bikinis in a dream sequence?
All of these questions and more will be answered in the next installment of Fuickleberry Saves the World! And now that I've updated, can I please go out and play with the puckrachel drabble meme? Pretty please?