Okay, so no Sam. He glanced around the small room that he'd stayed in for many months but she still wasn't here. He realized then that it had been a dream – a good dream – no, a great dream, but a dream nonetheless.
He pushed himself up out of bed and sat for a moment, legs over the side. Still, he felt great. It was as if a cloud had cleared from his mind, a very black, very ugly cloud, and he felt ready to move on, to go home.
Yes! He grinned and stood up. It was time. It was time for him to head home. This time he knew he was ready. Why that was, why all of a sudden, he didn't know. It just felt right.
He quickly rinsed his face with the cold water left in a jug on the little wash stand and then grabbed his clothes and got dressed. He grinned again. He was soon going to be able to take a nice hot shower, something he'd really missed.
What he'd missed even more were his friends, his family. He stopped and thought for a moment about Teal'c, Daniel and Sam and felt a yearning to see them again, to laugh with them and yes, to tease them. Picking up his razor he began to shave his face, which became increasingly difficult as he couldn't keep from smiling.
Hungry! He just realized he was ravenously hungry. He threw the towel down and went to see what Lya or one of the others had cooked up. The food was good, but he was dying for a steak. The Nox were vegetarians, refusing to kill harmless animals in order to eat them.
"Anteaus", he shouted when he saw his friend over by the fire. "Good morning!" He walked over and slapped the twig encrusted man on the back.
"Jack, you seem well this morning", Anteaus looked pleased.
"I am my friend. No, actually, I'm great. Feel better than I have in a long time."
"That is wonderful! And what is even better is you are just in time to join me for breakfast."
Jack sat and ate a huge breakfast and chatted with Anteaus. He had come to add the Nox to his small circle of close friends and knew he'd miss him when he left.
He glanced around a few times, feeling the looks that were being given him by the other Nox. Although not as close to them as he was to Lya and Anteaus, he'd come to like all of them and now called them his friends as well. Still, he was finding their glances a little nerve wracking this morning.
"What's up with everyone?", he asked.
"What do you mean Jack O'Neill?" Anteaus asked, using the name he'd first called the human until Jack had convinced him to just use his first name.
"They're all looking at me like I've got spinach in my teeth or something."
"Spinach?"
"Yeah, it's a green vegetable that we eat on earth. Kids hate it!"
Anteaus laughed. "I assure you my friend, you do not have any green vegetables on your teeth. If they are looking at you differently it is because they are happy for you."
"Happy for me? Why?"
"Because, we can all tell that you are healed and are ready to return home."
Jack met this comment with suspicious silence. How did they know he was doing better? "Uh Anteaus, how -"
"Jack, it is time for you to know the truth." Anteaus looked seriously at his friend. "Many months ago Thor contacted us and told us that you were hurt badly, but that your wounds were not physical but were deep in your soul. He asked for the help of the Nox. As a friend of the Asgard – but also of the Tauri – we agreed to help. The seven of us were brought together, as the most powerful of our healers, to help you. We were aware of your anguish and are now aware of the fact that you are well."
"What? You mean you are reading my mind or something?" Jack stood up suddenly, upset by the possibility that someone had been digging around in his mind.
"No indeed my friend, we have never invaded your privacy. All we have done is surround you with peace and the time to heal. If we helped at all it was to keep away the bad spirits that would trouble you. But it was you that managed to heal yourself. We only gave you the space and the time."
Jack slowly sat back down, relieved but still slightly creeped out. Looking at Anteaus, however, he believed what he said was true. There were no more gentle or caring people than the Nox and he was positive they would not betray him.
"So – they can tell - ?"
"Yes, they feel that your mind and spirit are healed."
"And I'm ready to go home, right?"
"Yes indeed", Anteaus laughed. "You may go home whenever you like." The Nox stopped then and leaned forward, placing his hand on Jack's shoulder. "I will miss you though, as will the others."
Jack started to say something flippant, his usual way of dealing with moments of heavy emotion, but knew that wouldn't be fair to this man – or these people – after all they had done for him. So instead he reached over and placed his hand on Anteaus' shoulder. "And I will miss you my friend. You'll have to come and visit and we'll go fishing sometime." As the other man frowned Jack laughed. "Don't worry, we'll throw them back in!"
A short time later Jack was ready to head to the Gate. All of the Nox were to accompany him, which made him feel a little uncomfortable, although secretly he was pleased. He chatted lightly with all of them, teasing the women and giving the men a hard time. Finally they arrived at the Stargate. He looked at it briefly, feeling a wave of nostalgia and of longing for his friends and his old life.
He turned then and looked at the people who had helped him so much but wasn't quite sure what to say. How do you thank people for giving you your life back? "Uh, I just wanted to say – thank you – for everything. I'll never forget any of you and if ever you need anything -." As if the Nox ever would, he realized. Still – "You're all welcome to come and visit. I have this nice little cabin and I think you'll all feel right at home."
"Will you chop the wood?" Timus asked with a grin. "You know how much I hate doing that."
"Don't worry, I'll make sure and have it all chopped before you get there!"
"Know this Jack O'Neill", Lya spoke after the laughter had died down. "We are always here if you need us." She handed Jack a small crystal orb. "Use this if you need to get in touch with us. We are your friends, don't ever forget that."
"Thank you Lya", he reached over and gave the woman a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Anteaus gave a mock glare but then smiled. The other Nox each came and gave Jack a hug or a handshake. Anteaus dialed the gate and suddenly it was time for Jack to leave.
He frowned suddenly. "Uh, I don't have a GDO", he said.
"Do not worry, you will make it through the cover of the earth's gate just fine", Lya assured him.
"You're sure? I don't really feel like going 'splat' today."
"You will not Jack O'Neill, that I promise."
"Okay then." He walked up the stairs until he reached the blue of the event horizon. He turned, one last time, and gave a small salute. With a smile he took the one step that would take him home.
"Did we do the right thing Anteaus?", Lya asked.
"By not telling of his friends and how they helped him? I hope so Lya. You know how hesitant he is to accept help. This way he will continue to believe it was a dream."
Jack stepped through onto the ramp in the SGC. He looked back and was startled to see that the iris was closed. Whoa – that was kind of weird! He'd just walked through solid metal. He had to grin at that thought – thinking it was weird to go through a trinium iris just after his particles had travelled thousands of light years and then were reintegrated on the other side.
"Colonel!" he turned in time to see General Hammond hurrying into the Gate room.
"Sir", he grinned and saluted. He then walked down the ramp and put out his hand. The General grabbed it and then pulled him forward for a hug. Okay –two weird things – going through the iris and being hugged by a General! Fortunately said General slapped him on the back – turning the hug into a respectable 'man hug'. Thank goodness – the marines wouldn't say anything now.
"Colonel, it's great to have you back. How are you?"
"I'm fine Sir – just great in fact. How's everyone here?" He looked around, hoping to see his team but disappointed when none of them were there.
"Everyone's fine Jack. Unfortunately we had no idea you'd be coming home so quic – today – so I sent them home. Teal'c went with Dr. Jackson. They were kind of – tired – after their last mission."
"Not hurt?" he frowned.
"Oh no, nothing like that. It was just a little draining for them. I'm going to have Walter give them a call though. They'll want to come and see you right away."
"No Sir, don't do that. They need to rest if they've had a tough mission. I'll give them a call."
"Are you sure Jack? They'll be upset if you don't you know."
"Yeah, I know", he grinned. God, it was good to be back. He glanced up to see Walter in the Control room, a big smile on his face. Jack waved at him and got a salute in return. He then realized that a number of people had crowded into the room and they were all smiling down at him.
He could feel himself get kind of embarrassed and Hammond must have realized this as he slapped Jack on the back one more time. "Come on Colonel, we need to get you to the Infirmary for a check up and then, if everything looks okay you can head on home."
"Uh, I assume I still have a home Sir?" he asked. He hadn't really worried about his things before but now wondered if his stuff had been confiscated or put in storage.
"Your house is just fine. Your team made sure your mail was picked up and that your lawn was looked after."
They arrived at the Infirmary just as the General finished speaking. Jack stuck his head around the door of Janet's office, to see the small doctor examining someone's chart. She glanced up when she heard a noise and practically jumped out of her seat. She let out a little squeak, which had Jack grinning.
"Glad to see me Doc?" he asked.
"Jack – ur Colonel", she said when she saw the General. "When did you get back?"
"Just now. The General's making me come to get poked and prodded to make sure I'm me."
She had stood up and walked over to him by this time. She looked at the General once more but, encouraged by his grin, she threw caution and protocol to the wind. "Jack", she said, giving him a big hug, "it's so good to see you. How are you feeling?" She stepped back and instantly turned into the 'doctor'. Looking at him from head to toe she was relieved to see that he looked healthy. Not only that, she could tell that he'd gotten his 'spark' back. He was grinning from ear to ear and looked more relaxed than she'd ever seen him.
"I'll leave him in your capable hands Doctor", the General said. "Jack when you're done come and see me in my office."
"I will Sir, thank you."
Janet soon had him settled on one of the beds in the Infirmary and began a whole battery of tests. Normally he would have been grousing and complaining by now, but he was so glad to be back, and so happy to see George and Janet, that he let her do her worst.
"I'm fine Janet, really", he said as she shone the penlight in his eyes for the second time. "The Nox took good care of me. I feel better than I have in a long while."
Janet stepped back and gave a small smile. "Well, from what I can see so far, they must have. You're looking incredibly fit Sir and you look great. Can you tell me what they did?"
"Uh nothing, really", he answered. When she looked skeptical he continued. "Janet, I ate and slept and worked – lots of physical work out in the fresh air. Other than that it was just – peaceful. I think all I needed was to get away from everything and get better."
"And the nightmares and – everything?"
"They're gone Janet – at least I'm pretty sure they are. I feel good, really good and the Nox agree. I don't think they would have let me come home if they didn't think I was ready."
"But you think you are?"
"I know I am Janet. Look, I know I was in pretty bad shape before – in fact, I didn't think I was going to make it – but now I know I'm going to be okay. I'm just really looking forward to my own bed and a shower – oh, and a juicy big steak, a baked potato and a beer!"
"The Nox don't have those things?" she laughed.
"No – they're vegetarians. Janet, I've eaten more green stuff in the last few months than I probably have in my entire life!"
"That's probably why you look so good Sir", she laughed again. "Keep it up and you'll live to a hundred!'
"God no! I've already been there once. Don't know if I want to be a hundred again." He leaned over and whispered "the old prostate trouble you know!"
Janet was soon finished and couldn't find anything at all wrong with the Colonel. Of course, not all the tests were back yet, but she was pretty sure they'd all come back clean. He really did look wonderful.
"So Sir, what are you going to do now?" she asked casually. She wondered where the rest of SG1 were hiding. Those were going to be some interesting conversations. They'd all made her promise not to say anything to the Colonel – but boy, she'd love to be a bug on the wall when they told him what they'd done.
"Now?" He jumped down off the bed. "Now I'm going to go see the General, and then I'm heading home. I can't tell you how wonderful it will be to sleep in a bed where my feet don't stick out the bottom!"
The conversation with the General was short. He told him what had occurred on the Nox world – at least, he gave as many of the details of daily life as he could. He didn't tell anything about his dreams, figuring that was something that only he had to know.
Once he was finished he paused and took a deep breath. "Sir, what about the NID?" It was a thought that had bothered him over the last few hours. He knew they wanted him and was pretty sure they weren't about to give up now that he said he was okay.
"They nosed around for quite some time after you 'disappeared'", the General told him. "I told them I didn't know where you were – which was the truth – at least until – I mean, until we were told you were with the Nox. Eventually they stopped harassing me – although that may also have been because I complained to the Chief of Staff and the President!"
"Pulled out the big guns did you Sir?" Jack smirked.
"Damn right I did. Those guys are vultures, hanging around waiting to pick over the bones anytime anything bad happens. God, I'd like to see the back of them!"
The Colonel suddenly became serious. "General, they're more than just vultures", He took another deep breath. "They were the ones behind my kidnapping – at least Samuels was."
The General looked at him equally as seriously. "We know. We've been trying to gather proof, but so far, no luck."
"Well, now that I'm back I'll find something."
"Jack – be careful. Samuels will have even more reason to get rid of you now."
"I know Sir", he smiled. "Don't worry. I won't do anything stupid. I plan to be around for a long time."
"Just try and stay under the radar for awhile. I'll get in touch with the Joint Chiefs and the President and let them know you're back - and that you're doing fine. Hopefully that'll keep the NID out of your hair – officially at least.
He looked out the window of the car as the driver took him to his house. It felt good to be home! He opened the window and breathed the crisp Colorado air. Yes – this is where he was supposed to be.
He opened the door to his house and was pleasantly surprised to see that everything was clean and smelled fresh. He smiled slightly – pretty sure that one or more of his team had managed to come over and clean. He figured it was either Sam or Daniel. Somehow he couldn't picture Teal'c with rubber gloves and a toilet brush!
He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge, not expecting to see anything. As it was he burst out laughing – it was full of Guinness. He pulled one out and twisted the cap off. He took a long swig and then sighed. Yup, it was good to be home.
He wandered into the living room and decided it was time to let his team know he was home. He couldn't wait to see them! He thought about the dreams he'd had of each of them and, even though they hadn't been real, they gave him a feeling of warmth and family.
He picked up the phone and debated who to call first. Although his instinct was to call Sam he knew that might not be a good idea. Pete could be there and he really didn't want to hear the man's voice. It would depress him too much – and he was too happy to be back right now.
Making a decision he picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello"
"Daniel?"
"Jack? Jack is that you?"
"Yeah, it's me Daniel. I just got home and thought I'd call and say hi."
"You what? You're at home?" the shocked voice on the end of the line said. "How the hell did you get back so quickly?"
"Quickly? Daniel, I've been gone for six months!"
"No – I mean – Jack, we were just there at the SGC a few hours ago and you weren't back yet. Did the Nox drop you off at home? Are you okay?"
"Daniel, I'm fine. Why don't you and Teal'c come on over and I'll explain everything. I arrived a few hours ago and I've been checked over by Janet and everything is great. The General told me I could leave so I decided to wait and call after I got home."
"God Jack – it's so good to hear you. We'll be right over."
"Uh Daniel, do you want to call Carter and see if maybe she'd like to come too?" There, that sounded casual enough.
"Why don't you call her yourself Jack?"
"Uh – I don't want to – disturb her in case she has company or something."
"What?" Daniel's confused voice asked. "Company? Why would she have -" Daniel stopped suddenly. "Oh. Don't worry about that Jack. She won't have anyone there, I'm sure."
"You're positive?" Jack asked. He was feeling rather uncomfortable, sure that Daniel had figured out why he was hesitant to contact Carter.
"I'm positive Jack. She hasn't had company in a long, long time."
"A long- ?"
"Yeah a loooong time."
"Okay, right, good. I'll uh call her then."
After he put the phone down he wanted to curse. Talk about making a fool of yourself O'Neill! Still, it sounded like the cop might be gone. God, he hoped so. He thought briefly of his dream of last night and of waking up with Sam in his arms. If that were only true!
With a deep breath he picked up the phone and dialed her number. After three rings someone picked it up and she answered.
"Carter here."
"Carter? Hi."
There was a pause and then, "Colonel?"
"Yeah, it's me Carter."
"Oh my God Sir! How are you? Where are you? Is everything okay?"
"Whoa Carter, everything is fine. I just got home a few hours ago and Janet gave me a pass. I just got to my place and wanted to see if you'd like to come over. Daniel and Teal'c are coming and I thought we could order something in for supper and have a team night."
"Oh God Sir, it's so good to hear you! Yes, of course, I'll be right over."
"Good! I'll see you in a few Carter."
He whistled as he headed into his living room with another Guinness. He knew he had to be a bit careful – it had been months since he'd had any alcohol. Still, it felt great to kick back and relax. What was even better was that he was going to see his friends soon.
It was only a couple of minutes later that the doorbell rang. Daniel and Teal'c must have left right after he called!
He'd just stood up when he could hear the door open and the Space Monkey's voice shout, "Jack, we're here."
"Come on in guys!" He walked to me them and was practically knocked over by the force of Daniel's hug. This was quickly followed by Teal'c. He almost expected to be swung around like a little kid, but fortunately his Jaffa friend let him go before that.
"It is good to see you O'Neill", Teal'c grinned.
"Back atcha big guy. You're looking good."
"You too O'Neill. You are looking very well."
"Yeah – feeling good too Teal'c." He turned to Daniel. "So, how are you doing Daniel?"
"I'm well Jack. Much better now that you're back."
"Missed me didya? No one coming by to keep you in line?"
"I tried O'Neill", Teal'c interjected, "but I am not as skilled in harassment as are you."
"Oh - touche Teal'c!" Jack grinned. "Come on in. I've got beer and uh – beer."
"That is alright O'Neill. We brought other things." Teal'c walked back to the entryway and grabbed a couple of grocery bags. "We cleared out Daniel refrigerator."
A few minutes later and there was another knock on the door. Jack couldn't help the big grin that appeared on his face.
"Uh, must be Carter." He stood up and headed to answer the door. Teal'c and Daniel shared a knowing look.
"Carter! Come on in!" He stepped back to allow her to enter, although his first urge was to open his arms and give her the biggest hug imaginable. It was only as he saw her grin and the fact that she was advancing on him, that he realized her intent.
"Colonel!" She threw her arms around him and hugged him like she'd never let go. God, if that were only true, he thought. Oh well, might as well make the most of it. He returned her hug and snuggled his face into her neck. He was almost sure he felt her shiver, but that might have been only wishful thinking.
It was the soft 'cough' from the direction of his living room that brought him back to earth. He had no idea how long he'd been standing there holding on to his Second – but was pretty sure it was longer than would be considered proper.
Reluctantly he began to pull back but stopped when the arms around him tightened. After a few seconds they loosened and Sam – Carter – stepped back. He looked at her and somehow wasn't surprised to see tears on her face.
"Sorry Sir", she said softly.
"Sorry? What for?" he smiled. "That was the best welcome home I've had in a long time."
"Hey!" shouted Daniel. "What about Teal'c and me?"
Jack grinned and motioned for Sam to proceed him into the living room. "Well, it was nice to see you guys but if I've gotta choose who to hug, Carter's gonna win every time!"
For the next few hours the four friends sat and talked and laughed and reminissed. Jack told them a little about his time with the Nox, but for the most part he didn't want to think about where he'd been this last year. He just wanted to soak up the friendship and companionship of the three who had become his family.
Daniel was telling a story from his university days when Jack happened to glance over at Carter. He caught her looking at him with a strange expression on her face. It took her a moment before she realized he was looking at her and she then started and smiled. Jack returned the smile and toasted her with his beer bottle. As he drank, he wondered what it was she had been thinking. There was definitely something behind those blue eyes – and he'd have to discover what it was.
He turned back to Daniel, to hear the rest of the story. He leaned back into his chair and relaxed.
God! It was good to be home!