Catch 22
By Momonster
Fandom: AU KH
Pairings: CLC
Warnings: Blood, gore, and the much angst asked for.
Rating: M
Summary: To have him back...you must give up what you had shared. Are you wiling to save him at the cost of your happiness? FtSKM
The Chance
"You have been brought to me because there is a loved one you can't let go."
Another year, another collection of birthdays to celebrate.
If only the birthday boy would actually show up.
Twitching slightly, Tifa eyed the birthday cake- "Happy twenty third birthday Leon!" -embossed on its front.
But Leon hadn't gone to a single birthday party since the accident.
Not even his own.
"That's it!" The room froze as Tifa suddenly stood, slamming her fist into the table. "I have had enough of him and his brooding!"
Yuffie stood before Tifa could stomp her way up the stairs, latching onto Tifa's arm. "But, but, he's still-"
"It's been a year!" Tifa snapped out. "Yes, I know he's grieving, and I'm still sad too. But that's just it; Cloud's dead, Leon's not!" Tifa jerked her arm free. "If this keeps up I won't be surprised to find Leon hanging from the ceiling by his throat!" No one could say a word to that as Tifa started up the stairs, eyes locked on Leon's room.
The door slammed open with enough force that it nearly recoiled back into the brunette woman's face, as Leon slowly looked up from his hands.
"You don't have to worry about me committing suicide, Tifa." He rumbled hoarsely. "Cloud and I long ago promised each other we'd never resort to that if the other died."
Tifa blinked, frozen at the door as grey eyes glanced up to look at her.
Leon's eyes were dead.
"Are…" Tifa started, and then swallowed. It was easy to get mad at Leon when he wasn't in the room. But staring into his eyes, any emotion seemed to just drain away. "Are you going to come to your party?"
Leon closed his eyes. "I'd only spoil the mood." He looked up then, slowly getting to his feet. "But if you really want me to…?"
"I do. We've missed you, Leon."
"He died because of me. To save me. Nothing I can think of, nothing I'm told, can justify him dying for me. I'm not worth that."
"TIFA!" Jerking in her seat, the brunette looked up with wide eyes as Yuffie darted into the house, panting slightly while holding a flier up.
"Yuffie?" She started, only for the paper to be shoved in her face. "What is…" She finally read the page, and sighed. "Oh dear."
"IT'S PERFECT!"
Tifa flinched, pulling back while rubbing her ear. "Are you sure, Yuffie? This screams bad idea."
"I think this could really help him."
"Help him how?" Tifa frowned. "A Talker; a spiritual medium able to merge with the souls of those who passed. Leon would talk to Cloud through the Medium, and all we can do is hope that Cloud can give Leon peace. But what if hearing Cloud only makes Leon worse?"
Yuffie flinched, but then shook her head, pressing both fists to her hips. "All we can do is try. Come on! Leon needs help, and who better to help him but Cloud?"
"Okay, fine, but I really wonder…"
"But what if he thought the same for you? Can you continue living a half life when he willingly died for you?"
The man was robed in dark heavy cloth; the clothing covering his body from head to toe with a hood that very nearly hid blond locks.
Leon couldn't look at him.
Instead he stared slightly to the left of the Talker, silent as the man pressed a gloved hand to the crystal ball sitting between them.
Leon didn't know what to say when he noticed it was actually hovering a few inches off of the table.
"Do you wish to speak with him?"
Leon pressed his clenched fingers to his mouth. "I…I don't know."
The crystal ball flashed, and the man lifted both hands, palms hovering around the glowing ball. "There is a spirit that followed you into this room, friend. I can tell it has been following you for some time…"
Leon blinked slowly, then grimaced. "If he's been following me around all this time…"
"Yea, you got that right." The Talker suddenly spat, and Leon flinched, burying his face into his hands. It wasn't his voice, but Leon knew exactly who was talking to him now. "I am bloody well pissed off."
"…Cloud?" Leon whispered, getting a grunt in reply. "…I'm sorry."
"Goddamn it Leon!" the spirit hissed, speaking through the medium. "If I'd known you'd basically kill yourself I would have saved you the trouble and let the car finish you off!" Leon flinched again. "I can quite honestly say I did NOT expect you to act this way if I ever died, and am frankly disappointed in you."
"What!" Leon started. "Am I supposed to forget you ever existed and move on just like that?"
"No!" Cloud snapped back. "But I expected you to at least live! Goddamn it Squall Laguna Loire-Leonhart if I could strangle you you'd be dead by now! I did not save you for you to act like this! It's already been a year and you're acting as if I died yesterday!"
"I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU GO!" Leon suddenly snarled, jerking upright just in time to see the Talker's hands yank away from the ball, the Talker shuddering as he fell forward onto the table, seemingly unconscious.
Breathing hard, Leon slowly settled back into his seat, gripping his hair, trying to calm down.
"Your connection is strong." The Talker murmured, and Leon looked up. The blond man was shaking slightly. "The spirit didn't even give me a chance to connect properly before speaking."
"Yea, he's stubborn like that." Leon whispered. "…I wish he was still alive."
"I know I promised I'd go on if he ever died, but it hurts…it hurts so much. I'm afraid that would be one promise I won't be able to keep."
"…There is a way to undo your misfortune."
Blinking slowly, Leon looked at the Talker, head tilting unconsciously.
"This ability of mine; being the voice of the departed, also allows me to give those left behind a chance to change their present."
If felt as if a fist grabbed tight onto his heart and squeezed. "I could save him?"
The Talker nodded.
"How? Please, what do I have to do?"
"Are you willing to pay the price?"
"Yes! Anything!"
The man was silent for a few moments. "Even never being with him again?"
Leon felt his heart stop. "…What?"
"The Price." The Talker whispered. "Is his love for you, his memories of you. This life you lived with him, those moments you've kept close to your heart. All forfeit."
Leon felt as if he couldn't breathe. "What…what are you talking about?"
"To save Cloud Strife's life, you must go back in time to the day the two of you met and stop that meeting from happening. That would change the past enough that he would be saved in this present time."
Leon couldn't breathe. He couldn't think.
Let Cloud go?
"He'd be alive." Leon gasped, clutching onto the table. "I could save him, he'd be alive."
"But he won't know you." The Talker continued, voice a monotone.
"That doesn't matter, it can't matter." Leon said, even though it felt as if his heart was breaking. "He'd be alive. If he doesn't know me, he won't need me."
He won't give his life to save me.
The Talker merely sat there while Leon fought to breathe past his heart in his throat.
"If you truly wish to do this, all you must do is remember to the exact day when you first met Cloud Strife." The Talker reached into his shirt, pulling the length of chain from around his neck.
Leon couldn't help but notice the blond strands of hair that fluttered about the man's shoulders and fought back tears, eyeing the hand stretched out to him.
"Remember that day, and then drink a glass of water mixed with this powder. You will merge with your younger self for as long as it takes to prevent that meeting, and then return to this time."
Leon lifted his hand to grab the vial, eyeing his visibly shaking hand.
"What…what do I do after that?"
The Talker stood then, and Leon closed his eyes.
"What do you do? What else can you do? Live."