Once again, thanks for the sweet and encouraging reviews, guys. ❤ As some of you astutely pointed out, Freddie's been more than a little clueless - well, here's a bit of insight to that. :)
Disclaimer: I adore the Creddie friendship to pieces - and I think it's actually one of the least developed relationships on the show - minus some of the little exchanges they've had.
"Do you have any juice?"
"I don't know, but if I did - I would give it to you. Because I don't keep things from you!"
And all at once, the crowd begins to sing; sometimes the hardest thing & the right thing are the same...
"You know, she hasn't returned any of my calls," he told Carly, turning his head to face her as she continued with her notes.
She cleared her throat. "So, uh, about the quadratic equation - if I-"
"Not any of my texts either," he added.
She put her book down and looked up at the ceiling, apparently agitated. "Every time I'm out, they try to suck me back in."
Freddie sighed, pushing his own book aside. "Sorry. I just..." He let his words hang in the air for a minute, trying to sort out whatever it was going on inside his head. "I don't know why she's doing this."
"Well," Carly started, angling herself towards him, "when a girl asks for space I think that includes communication of all kinds. Wireless included."
He tilted his head. "Carls. That's not what I meant."
She nodded. "I know what you meant. And you already know why, Freddie."
The sting in her tone was obvious.
"I-"
"Freddie."
He ran his ran behind his neck, exhaling deeply. "I can't help how Sam feels, Carly."
She blinked at him disbelieving. "How she feels? Look, you know I don't like to get in the middle of you two-"
Freddie rose an eyebrow at her.
"So, I'm trying it out," she shrugged.
"Okay, my point is, whatever you decide? That's up to you. But don't," she stopped and pointed her finger in his direction, "don't put this all on her, okay? Don't act like she's alone in this."
The truth was, he realized, she wasn't.
He looked down at his lap on a sigh, before finally meeting her eyes again.
Her expression softened and she nudged him. "I know you better than that."
...
They'd been sitting on Carly's couch for the last forty minutes, Carly upstairs in her shower for that amount of time. With her chair. (The stress of finals getting to her.)
He turned to an unusually quiet Sam, setting his textbook aside and looking at her with a bright smile.
"Break time?"
She laughed soundlessly and angled herself to face him. "Yeah, I stopped studying like twenty minutes ago, Benson."
He blinked. "Then what have you been writing in your notebook all this time?"
"Boom!" She faced her loose leaf notebook towards him, revealing her doodle of a cartoon bunny in a top hat.
Freddie smiled, not surprised in the slightness at the girl's uncanny ability to waste time. "How productive."
She rested her notebook next to her with a small shrug. "Productivity is overrated."
"Clearly."
He flashed her a teasing grin at his last statement, before turning on the T.V. After a while she shifted in her seat, taking a shallow breath and he turned to her with a raised eyebrow, wondering why she seemed so nervous all of a sudden. (Well, all evening, really.)
She bit her lip."Remember when we dated?"
Freddie tilted his head. "You mean like, a month ago?"
"Yeah, then."
He laughed. "Yeah, Sam. I remember. What's going on?" He met her eyes and she blinked up at him, slipping out a printed sheet of paper from her notebook.
"Here."
"What's this?" He scanned the paper quickly before looking back up at her, his eyes widening.
"An acceptance letter to N.E.R.D camp," she verified. She smiled and tugged at his shirt, lightly. "Couldn't take any more of your annoying whining about it."
He laughed, glancing down at the letter and then at her. "I can't believe you did this."
"Yeah, well, it was kind of my fault that you didn't get in in the first place."
"Kind of?"
She rolled her eyes halfheartedly and sighed, tilting her head at him."You know I'm sorry about that."
He smiled at her. "Water. Bridge." She laughed and he held up the letter. "Really, Sam - this is amazing; thank you."
"You deserve to go," she offered simply. "Didn't want to hold you back."
Without thinking, he reached out to put his hand over hers. "Hey, you could never hold me back."
If anything, she always made him want to push further. Try harder.
She looked up at him through her lashes, a faint smile tugging on her lips. "Good to know."
As if suddenly realizing where his hand was, she swallowed hard before moving her arm and lacing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I - actually have to get going. Tell Carls I said bye?"
"Um, yeah," he answered, pulling his hand back as well. "No problem. You sure you have to leave now? We could actually get some studying done..." He tampered off and she offered him an unconvincing smile.
He nodded."Okay, then."
She stood up, grabbing her notebook and musing with his hair. "What did I say about productivity?"
He smiled and his eyes trailed after her as she headed towards the door. "Vastly overrated."
...
"Carly, you know I'm with Amy. I can't-"
"Yeah. I do," she cut him off, nodding and pulling her feet up onto the couch. "I know that she's the one you think you should be with." She paused leaning over slightly. "Not the one you want."
Freddie opened his mouth to protest –– only to find that he couldn't.
She smiled understandingly, more understanding than he felt he deserved at the moment.
"I know you that you don't want to hurt her."
He didn't; he couldn't.
Though, honestly, he was probably doing that already.
He was hurting all of them.
"I'm also betting that you're scared."
He looked down and thought for a moment. "We've just been in a really good place," he finally answered, quietly. "If we tried again and screwed things up –" He stopped, meeting Carly's eyes biting his lip.
"I can't loose her, you know?"
Carly laughed soundlessly and shook her head. "That's not possible."
He sighed, but she pressed forwards.
"I don't even pretend, to understand the relationship you two have," she sneered giving him one of her Carly looks,"but you guys always seem to have each other. I don't see that changing."
"Until now."
The chances of her speaking to him again anytime soon weren't looking great.
She elbowed him lightly. "Then fix it."
"I...don't even know where I'd start," he admitted, flatly.
"Just go talk to her, Freddie," she reasoned. "The rest will figure itself out. It'll be okay. Promise."
"When'd you get so smart?" he teased, linking his arm with hers, resting back on the couch.
"I don't know, " she laughed. "I think it was a Tuesday."
He released a breath."Carls?"
Carly sighed tiredly and looked up at him. "Hm?"
"I love her."
She smiled. "I know."
...
"Hey, where'd Sam go?"
He spun his head around from the couch as Carly came up behind him, her hair still soaking wet.
"Oh, uh, I don't know actually," he answered. "She just said she had to go." He shrugged while she propped herself up on the couch next to him. "Guess she got sick of studying."
She laughed. "Right. You guys play nice?"
"Yes, Carly," he scoffed.
"What's this?" She reached out picking up his acceptance letter.
"That," he pointed at it in her hand, "is a letter from N.E.R.D camp – Sam, well, she got me in."
"Wow." She turned her head to face him. "How'd she manage that?"
"You know, I found it safer not to ask."
She smirked. "Yeah, that's probably for the best." She bit her lip before poking him. "That was really nice of her."
"It was."
"When are going to tell her?" She finally blurted out, when he kept staring aimlessly at his open notebook.
He blinked. "Tell her what?"
"Oh, I don't know," she stopped and poked him again. "Maybe that you still want to be with her."
"Okay," he shook his head, "please stop poking me. And – I don't want to have this conversation, Carly."
She rolled her eyes. "Color me shocked."
When he just tilted his head at her, giving her a look – she thankfully dropped it.
For a minute.
"I know that I told you this before, but - none of the things I said to Spencer and his girlfriend that day I ever thought applied to you guys."
He smiled faintly, taking a breath. "I know. It doesn't matter now though."
She met his eyes, quizzically. "You sure about that?"
"I think I kinda have to be."
"Okay," she answered, seemingly not convinced.
They started studying again when he angled towards her, clearing his throat. "You want to know a secret?"
She fake gasped and sprung her head up. "One you're actually telling without me finding out some other way first?"
He pretended to glare.
"Spill it," she continued, on a half laugh.
"When she kissed me that night, at first I couldn't imagine how we'd actually manage to really work-"
"And now?"
"Now," he paused, looking down at the floor and then down at her. "I'm not really sure I can imagine being with anyone else."
"Hey," she smiled and closed her notebook, resting her hand on his shoulder for a second. "It'll be alright," she promised.
He laughed halfheartedly. "I'm going to hold you to that, Shay."
...Maybe you want it, maybe you need it. Maybe it's all you're running from; perfection will not come.
How am I doing, kids? ❤