Chapter Eighteen

"Baby, are you okay?" Derek asked the minute he heard Penelope answer the phone. "I've just got this feeling that something is wrong with you." That was an understatement. For the last few minutes, his heart had been pulsating rapidly for reasons that he couldn't explain. Something in his very core had felt…off. When he wracked his brains for an answer, Penelope was the first thing that popped up. He had felt nervous leaving her alone for a few days while he was on the case, especially since she was still cooped up in his house. Of course, he left everything there for her that she could ever need, but still…..

"I'm fine," she replied in a slurred tone. Instantly, Derek knew she'd been drinking. This early, though? he wondered.

"Sweetheart, have you been drinking?" he asked, giving her the benefit of the doubt.

"N-No," she responded, flustered. "What makes you say that?"

"I can hear it in your voice, Penelope."

"I'm tired, that's all. I swear." Of course, she was lying. She had woken up with a massive hangover early in the morning, and somehow in her diminished state she had decided that the cure would be to pull out another bottle.

"You know I can tell when you're lying, Garcia. Princess, how about you put the bottle down and talk to me?" Derek knew that there was an underlying cause to her drinking. He realized it was probably related to what Kevin had done to her. It didn't really take a genius like Reid to figure it out.

"Damn it, Derek, I told you I'm not drinking anything! Leave me the hell alone about it!" she cried angrily. Morgan could hear the tears in her voice. Even thousands of miles away, they could still pierce his heart. He hated to hear her break like this.

"Baby Girl, I'm sorry. I guess I could've been wrong. Anything you want to talk about, though?" He decided that the best course of action was to simply appease her. Any more prodding and she would hang up on him…..and he still vividly remembered the last time she had hung up on him…

"Not really," Penelope mumbled. "Thanks for calling to check on me, though." She was about to hit END when-

"I'm on my way back, so don't think I'm going to drop the issue, okay?" No. He couldn't. Not when she was…in this condition. Not when the pupils of her eyes were dilated and she reeked of alcohol.

"The case is over?" she squeaked, trying to remain calm.

"No, but I told Hotch that I'm more needed here than in Topeka. They have the profile, they'll get the guy."

"Really, you don't have to drop everything just to come to me. I told you, I'm fine." She wasn't fine, not fine at all, but it was better to suffer in silence than have him see her in this state.

"You can't stop me from coming back to my own house. I'm worried about you, Penelope."

"Derek, I don't WANT you to be worried about me! I'm totally okay!" Her tone was much harsher than intended, much more angry. Unexplained fury was swelling in her body, irritation at Derek that she never knew she could have.

"Why are you pissed at me when all I've done is try and help you?" he fired back. Instantly, Derek regretted his words. They had spewed from his mouth like bullets before he could stop them. In no way did he regret anything he had done for her. In fact, he wished he could do far more. He just didn't understand why she refused him now when it was clear that she needed him.

"Am I a burden on you, Derek? Do you regret bringing me into your home? Do you regret kissing me, or telling me you love me?" She was sobbing now, her eyes filled to the brim with real, raw emotion.

"No, sweetness, that's not what I meant to say! I'm sorry!"

Click.

She had hung up. Panic constricted in Derek's throat. He had no idea what she was going to do now, now that she thought he didn't love her. Damn, he was such an ass. So what if she had drank? He probably would've done worse if he was in her shoes.

A couple of hours later, he had arrived at the house. Fumbling with his keys, all he could think about was Penelope's tear-soaked words: Am I a burden on you? He had never hated himself more than he did at this moment. Making her feel like that was perhaps the worst thing he had ever caused anyone to feel.

Derek shoved the door open and dashed into his house.

"Penelope!" His voice was laced with terror as he ran from room to room. Would she be here still? Even injured, she could probably find her way out. And if she was here, in what state would she be in?

Opening the door to their shared bedroom, Derek gasped.

I swear the drinking thing has NOTHING to do with last night's episode!