Chapter Twenty

Hey, I'm back! Been a bit ill and tired and super busy so that's all the excuses I can offer for not updating for a bit! Again, I don't think I got to everyone who reviewed…but thank you so very much for reviewing despite this. It makes my day a little better! Keep it up please!

"Hey, Baby Girl, I really need you to work your magic now," Derek sweetly said into the phone.

"What do you need, Derek?" Penelope asked with a sigh. She could hear him frown at the lack of enthusiasm or a pet name.

"Sweetheart, are you all right? Something bothering you?" Derek asked, worried. He'd already been away from her for two days. She had sounded absolutely fine last night, and it didn't sound like she had been drinking.

"Nothing's wrong, Handsome. Just kinda tired this morning. I swear it wasn't because I was up all night-I think it's a Monday thing." That wasn't the entire truth, but at least she hadn't lied about her bedtime. In fact, she had fallen asleep a little earlier than usual.

"Are you sure? You know I can get out of the case and come to you." Derek didn't add the fact that he could get out of anything just to come to her.

"I'm sure, Derek. I'm all right. I haven't touched the liquor cabinet or been all depressed. Don't always feel the need to come to me. I mean, I appreciate the thought, but I can take care of myself just like everyone else on this team." Penelope hoped her words didn't sound too harsh. She hadn't meant for them to come out sounding ungrateful or berating.

"I know that…I just want to make sure that you never feel alone. I love you too much to let you suffer and not do anything to help."

"Thank you. I love you too. But shouldn't we get back to the case?" Derek grunted in consent and she gave him the required information before a final exchanged I-love-you and then the call was ended.

Penelope groaned and rested her head on her hand. She felt like shit—and it was only ten o'clock. Her skull felt like it had been smashed in with a hammer and her whole body was achy and her stomach was churning. I've felt like this every morning all week, she thought bitterly. As if I didn't have enough to worry about.

Nauseous, she suddenly stood up from her chair and made a break for the bathroom. Moments later, she was heaving up what felt like all of her intestines. Her head pounded and she felt waves of exhaustion run up and down her entire body. Flushing the toilet, she simply sat at the base, feeling like she'd been hit by bus.

And then a horrible thought entered her mind, an idea so horrifying that she nearly threw up again just at the notion of it. Certainly she wasn't…there was no possible way. She and Derek…..they hadn't…..but it was possible that HE…..no. No, it wasn't. It just wasn't true.

But she had to be sure. She finished her workload for the day, but only went through the motions, as her mind was elsewhere.

On her way home, she stopped by a pharmacy and picked up what she needed. By this time, her stomach was aflutter with thousands of tiny butterflies….only they had metal spikes for wings. The next morning, she would learn the truth. It frightened her, the truth. Penelope often tried to hide from the truth in order to protect her sanity…but now she had to run towards it…..

At the crack of dawn…Penelope herself cracked. The pink positive sign on that white stick from hell spun her world off its axis.

Kevin was standing above her…..laughing…she was squirming on the ground….a baby's cry filtered through….he laughed harder, thrust harder….Pain shot into every orifice of her body….she could feel something kicking in her stomach…..biting…..it was a monster, growing inside her…..she was pregnant with a monster…Kevin had won after all…..And the monster was clawing through her skin….trying to get out…..the hideous thing Kevin put inside her was ripping through her body, trying to hurt her as much as possible…..it was destroying her from the inside out.

In a frenzy, the haunted Penelope knew she had to get out. She threw all her clothes and other possessions into her suitcase. In her warped mind, she couldn't face Derek and tell him she was pregnant with the child of a monster. She couldn't accept his love and kindness…not with the devil inside her.

One last look at the house…one more fleeting glimpse of the life she was leaving…..

And then she turned her back to it.

The holocaust was complete.

A/N: I AM NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST. I absolutely love that subject, but I haven't had a single HS class of it (not till next year). Basically, I kind of see Penelope as suffering from PTSD for the last few chapters…and her revelation this chapter triggered her break. I kind of borrowed from episode 2x17 in which a single event sets off a soldier with PTSD into a false reality that he's back in battle. So I have no idea really if what just happened is possible in real life. But this is a fiction story. So let me know what you think. (last line borrowed from The Great Gatsby)