I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters mentioned in this story. I do not receive any monetary gain from this. Please enjoy the story and don't sue me!

"Konan? What are you doing here?"

She cleared her throat, a light blush spreading over her cheeks.

"Nagato said that I need to brush up on my health knowledge…"

She trailed off and looked away, her blush intensifying. His white half realized what she meant.

"Please don't let this be happening… What? What's so bad about health class? Other than that it's boring, of course. You learn about food, exercise- She's talking about sexual education. Oh. Oh. Um, well…"

Now it was Zetsu's turn to blush. Konan absentmindedly noted that while his white half went red, his black half turned a weird shade of purple.

"Um… yeah… so, sex ed. What do you know?"

"Erm… I know about my women parts."

"Good, 'cause we don't. Do you know about sexual intercourse?"

"About what?"

"He means do you know about sex?"

"Oh, erm, yeah. Kinda."

"Do you-"

Zetsu winced

"Partake in sexual intercourse?"

Konan looked at him blankly. Black Zetsu sighed.

"Are you doing it with Leader?"

Konan went even redder.

"Yeah," she mumbled.

"Hidan owes me," he mumbled before clearing his throat.

"Right, so. Do you know about protection?"

"Protection? I'm sorry, but what does this have to do with sex?"

"He means protection against pregnancy."

"Pregnancy? What's that?"

Zetsu barely resisted the urge to smack himself in the face.

"Right, so I'm assuming you know the anatomical differences between males and females."

"Yeah."

"Well,-" Zetsu pulled out a diagram,

"women have internal sex organs that men don't. These include the ovaries, the fallopian tubes, the uterus, and the vaginal passage. Once a girl hits puberty, her ovaries begin making eggs, and each month an egg is released from the ovaries into the fallopian tubes. From there, the egg moves into the uterus, and is then expelled through the vaginal passage. That's your period. If, however, the egg is fertilized,"

"Wait, what does that mean?"

"If you have sex with Leader and he shoots his seed into you while you have an egg in your fallopian tubes, the seed can fertilize your egg. The fertilized egg then travels through the tubes until it ends up in the uterus, where it embeds itself in the wall. Then, it starts growing."

"It starts growing?"

"Yes. This is pregnancy. Eventually, the egg develops into a baby. After eight months Nine months. It's nine months."

Zetsu paused, then his black side continued on from where the white half left off.

"In nine months, you'll be really fat with this baby in you. Then one day, you'll start feeling a kind of painful sensation in your lower half. This is contractions. Then you go into labour, which is when the baby leaves your body through your vagina. If problems arise though, usually a C-Section is performed, which is where they cut you open and take the baby out from the front."

"I-Is it painful?"

"I don't know, I've never been pregnant! Men don't get pregnant, but apparently it's really painful."

"Really painful?"

She squeaked.

"Don't worry, they all say it's worth it in the end!"

She let out a sigh of relief.

"So how do you tell if you're pregnant?"

"Well, towards the later part of the pregnancy the woman is really fat. At the beginning, it's not really that noticeable. The main signs are morning sickness, increased appetite, and missing periods."

"Missing periods?"

"Yeah, that's one of the first signs that causes women to believe that they're pregnant."

"What do they do if they miss a period?"

"Get a pregnancy test to see if they're pregnant."

"What's a pregnancy test?"

"It's a little thing you use to check if you're pregnant, and it looks like this."

He tossed her an unopened pregnancy test.

"Zetsu… Why do you have this?"

"I don't know. Don't you remember? We stole Hidan's last sacrifice, and she was carrying it, and you know what happened last time we ate one of those. You threw up. Yeah, so I put it in my pocket to dispose of it later. Oh, that makes sense. So Konan, any questions?"

"Yeah, what do you do if you're pregnant?"

"I don't know… tell your parents? She doesn't have any parents you idiot. But we're talking theoretically! Yeah, but Konan's gonna need this information someday, so it should apply to her! But why would she get pregnant when she's a criminal? That could be dangerous for the child! Konan, if you get pregnant, you should tell Leader. Got it?"

"Got it."

"However, if for some reason you've been having sex with someone other than leader and you get pregnant, I would advise you to not tell him and get an abortion."

"What's an abortion?"

"It's when you have the child removed."

"Huh?"

"Basically they take a vacuum cleaner and they suck the child out."

"O-oh."

"Any other questions?"

"No! Thank you for teaching me Zetsu I'd love to stay and talk but I really have to go!"

She ran out of the room.

"Well that went well. I'd hit you if I could."

Thanks for reading! I apologize if the facts aren't all one hundred percent accurate, but oh well. Remember, if you have any suggestions for other characters/subjects, feel free to tell me!