"Dad! I'm going over to Naruto's again. Can I have some money for a movie?" A sixteen year old, with light brown hair in a messy ponytail, demanded, storming into his parents' bedroom.
"No. I already gave you your allowance." Kakuzu growled, sitting up in bed.
"Oh come on, Kakuzu. He only needs another twenty." His wife, Jennifer, yawned.
"I said no, damnit." He snapped. "I am the man of this house. My word is law."
"Please daddy?" Ren pouted, batting his brown eyes.
"Fifteen." He replied tersely, handing him two bills.
"Thank you!" He grinned, embracing Kakuzu before running out the door.
"Damn kids." He complained, getting out of bed.
"They're your kids, Kakuzu."
Kakuzu rolled his eyes at her and then went to prepare himself for a day of work. He pulled back his hair, hoping to look a tad more professional. Once he had finished preparing, he left the bathroom to his wife, going to a guest room set up for two large dogs. One stood up happily but slowly the moment she saw her master, belly round and heavy with pups. He patted her head, scratched her ears, and then turned to the second borzoi.
"You'll be going home soon, Jet." He smiled, "Thank you for the puppies."
The dog tilted its head, not understanding, only reacting to the sound of his name. Kakuzu clipped on his leash and then left the house, spotting his neighbor leave the house with leashes but no dogs. The gray haired male did not notice him and headed to another house. Kakuzu shrugged then moved on, returning Jet to his owner before going to work. He loved how his job as an accountant was fairly uneventful.
"Hey Kakuzu!" Until a fellow coworker comes to him.
"What do you want, Broeker?" He sighed, sorting through papers and bills.
"I'm throwing a company party this weekend, you interested?" The redhead grinned.
"No thank you. I don't mix my personal life with my professional life." Kakuzu drawled.
"Suit yourself old man." Kakuzu twitched.
"I am not old. I'm only four years older than you." He said tersely.
"One year away from being forty and you act like you're eighty." The coworker scoffed.
"Don't you have anything better to do than insult a coworker? Like work?"
~Scene Change (Few Hours Later)~
Hidan winced as four dogs tried to leave his hold and go at a faster pace. There were two medium dogs and two big dogs, one of each in his hands and around his wrist in an attempt to reign them in. It was his second dog walking job of the day and he already felt drained. He could usually handle at least five jobs a day but Kisame had dragged him out for some drinks the previous night. He yawned, cursing loudly as the dogs found their chance, dragging him down the street.
He barked out a command and they all stopped, sitting up and looking at him curiously. He sat on the curb panting heavily along with the dogs. He understood that they did not get out much but he wished they could be a bit more easy going on this hot summer day. His hangover was killing him in the sun. He groaned, leaning back to rest on his palms, the leashes slack now that he had water and treats offered. He closed his eyes, smiling as his headache started to fade.
"What are you doing?" A stranger's deep voice followed by barking rudely awoke Hidan.
"I was sleeping. What the fuck do you want?" Hidan snapped at the tall stranger, trying to see a face but the sun blocked his view.
"While walking some dogs?" The man frowned.
"Look man, I had a rough night. I didn't think I'd be so exhausted though." Hidan yawned, getting a lick from a German Shepherd. "I'm fine. These guys have had a nice long walk."
"Hmph. Are you a dog walker?" The man inquired.
"Yeah. Why?" Hidan stayed on the ground, not minding when the dogs walked all over him, trying to get attention.
"I have a dog but I won't be able to walk her because I have a business trip." He mused, placing a hand on his chin. "How much do you charge?"
"I'll take whatever you want to pay me, man." Hidan shrugged.
"Twenty bucks a day sound good?"
"Twenty? Hell, I'd walk your cat for that." Hidan gaped—his highest payment for walking a dog was about two bucks, if that. "Anything in particular I should know?"
"She's pregnant so it will have to be solo walks. She's a pedigree show dog too so special care." The man eyed him wearily.
"Sure thing, I love dogs and shit. What breed...?"
"Borzoi."
"Russian wolfhound? I can't wait to see her." Hidan gave a genuine grin, clearly eager to see the dog.
"You in two days. I should only be gone for about a week, if that. You live with the Uchihas, right?" He inquired, offering a hand to help him up.
"Yep." He nodded, allowing the hand to pull him easily to his feet.
The strength of the man made Hidan blush and before Hidan could get or give a name, tall, dark and mysterious was gone. He quickly finished his walk and ran home to cook dinner for the Uchiha brothers. Both of them were in back, throwing blades at the various targets. Hidan rapidly set to preparing dinner, the man's deep voice still in his mind.
–
Kakuzu sighed when he got home, loosening his tie. He could smell Jennifer was making dinner already. He took off his shoes and coat and then went to see Audie. She was sleeping soundly and he smiled, heading to his office to check his messages. He got the email from Broeker about the party and details on his business trip but nothing else new so he switched accounts. He was surprised to find his inbox empty. Kisame always made an effort to send him at least one email a day. He closed out and stood, going to the bathroom as nature was calling.
While he did his business, something in the trash caught his eyes. He quickly tucked himself back in bravely moving some of the unidentifiable bathroom trash aside to get a better view. He scowled, cursing under his breath. He washed his hands after flushing then returned to his office, grabbing his phone. He pounded on the numbers, waiting for his friend to answer.
"Damnit, so close." He heard his friend curse. "What's up, Kakuzu?"
"I think it's time I seriously consider that divorce, Kisame. This is the last straw. I could stand her no longer touching me. I could stand her disappearances. But this I'm sick of."
"What's 'this', Kakuzu?" Kisame inquired curiously.
"I found a pregnancy test in the trash." He hissed quietly.
"Oh shit man... you gotta ditch the hoe." Kisame was smirking on the other end of the phone, Kakuzu could tell.
"Kisame." Kakuzu warned.
"Right, sorry. But if she's started slipping off the condom, you gotta leave her." Kisame advised, sitting down in some bushes. "You can't get stuck with a kid that isn't yours."
"I know that. That's why I'm going to ask you to help me with this divorce. I want you to watch my house when I'm away next week. Get me some evidence of an affair. She'd notice if the test itself is missing."
"So it's a hush-hush spy mission?"
"That was and is your specialty." Kakuzu confirmed.
"In the meantime, you should seriously consider getting someone on the side, ya know? That why you don't look like the lame and lonely one once you two split." Kisame snickered, "Want that link?"
"No." He huffed, hanging up abruptly.
He sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose before going back to his computer. He clicked on a bookmarked site, unzipping his pants. He clicked on a video, rolling his eyes when a pop up came. He prepared to click out but hesitated. It was an online dating advertisement. He sighed and picked his phone back up, redialing his friend for a good website. It was called Akatsuki Dating. He took a deep breath and then typed in the address. Getting an account was simple and free, which was good as he rarely understood new technology.
He sighed, going into the group chat room. He was careful to choose a nick name in case his wife happened to snoop around. Kisame even let him borrow his email. He logged into an open chat with a few people—it was rather late and Kakuzu could tell the site was fairly new. There were five people online. Kakuzu saw three that caught his attention; 'Jashin's Bitch', 'Broeken Puppet', and 'Sex Shark'. He smiled, scrolling along the chat, scoping it out.
~Akatsuki Meet and Greet Room~
Jashin's Bitch: I'm telling you, bitches really annoy me these days.
Broeken Puppet: But aren't you a bitch?
Jashin's Bitch: Fuck you.
Emo Weasel: Remind me again why I'm here?
Jashin's Bitch: 'Cause I fuckin' asked, bitch.
Blonde Bomber: If you don't like it here, leave.
Sex Shark: Dont leave, pretty angel. *pouts*
Jashin's Bitch: Shut the hell up, sicko.
Emo Weasel has left the chat room...
Sex Shark: Thanks a lot prick.
Sex Shark has left the chat room...
Jashin's Bitch: Tch, good ridance, stalker.
Blonde Bomber: You mispelt riddance.
Broeken Puppet: No one give a sh1t, it's a chat room.
Jashin's Bitch: That was my line, wood cock.
Broeken Puppet: Ugh, you suck when you're hung over.
Broeken Puppet has left the chat room...
Blonde Bomber: Wait for me danna!
Blonde Bomber has left the chat room...
Jashin's Bitch: Tch. She's so annoying. Who the fuck are you?
Kakuzu started as he realized the question was aimed at him. He considered leaving but his curiosity got the better of him.
Money Mutt: None of your business. I just came for a friend but it seems he's not here.
Jashin's Bitch: Oh. Probably in another chatroom... a private one if the friend's meeting with you.
Money Mutt: So are you taken or...?
Jashin's Bitch: Hm? My nickname? Fuck, that's my god.
Money Mutt: So what is it you hate about girls?
Jashin's Bitch: They're always whiney and bitchy.
Money Mutt: So are you.
Jashin's Bitch: Fuck you.
"Kakuzu, dinner!" Ren shouted from the kitchen, interrupting the start of a good banter.
Monet Mutt: Later. Dinner.
Money Mutt has left the chat room...
Jashin's Bitch: Later huh... *smirks*
Jashin's Bitch has left the chat room...
"Heh. Money Mutt sounds interesting." Hidan grinned, closing his laptop.
Yeah, expect some chat room action. I'll try not to over do it. Should only be doing it for a few more chapters... chapters will be getting longer.
Happy early birthday to the person that commissioned this in case I forget it later. It's a nasty habit of mine to forget friends' birthdays...
-yawns- sleepy...