"What do you mean you're leaving?" Jennifer puffed, watching her husband dress for work.
"I have a business trip that will take me a week." He sighed. "I told you this yesterday."
"But what about the dog?" Jennifer inquired.
"I have a walker that will come by at least once a day." He explained. "All you have to do is make sure her bowl is full."
"So you'll be gone a week?" She asked again.
"Yes, Jenny, a week." He snapped, grabbing his suitcase.
"Alright. See you then." She yawned, falling back down on her pillow.
"Audie-chan," Kakuzu called, crouching in front of the dog, "You'll behave while I'm gone, right? I'll have a man come by to walk you for me." He smiled, kissing his dog's nose, getting a lick in return. "Be a good girl."
–
"You look quite happy today, Hidan." Itachi noted with a smirk.
"I'm walking some man's dog today." Hidan replied, snatching a leash. "She's a borzoi."
"Ah. Isn't that a German wolfhound?" Itachi inquired.
"No she's a fucking Russian Wolfhound, dumb-fuck." Hidan snapped, grabbing a doggie bag before slamming the door behind him.
He jogged out of the house and across the street to his 'client's' house. He knocked on the door, waiting impatiently for an answer. He had been out when the man stopped by to give him instructions but left them with Itachi. Hidan agreed to accept payment when the man was to return. Finally a woman opened the door in pink lingerie which looked rather expensive to Hidan.
"What do you want?" She asked dully.
"Um, I'm here to walk Audie." He replied, trying not to let his short temper get the better of him.
"Oh right, the dog walker. I'll be back." She sighed, retreating back in the house.
After a short while, she returned with the dog. Hidan smiled, crouching down to attach the leash and scratch her behind the ears. It was a golden borzoi with beautifully bright brown eyes. He stood back up to walk her away from the house. He smiled as she waddled along obediently. He could just imagine what she looked like in the ring. The thought made his grin widen.
Once the walk was finished, he returned her to her house, stroking her silky fur before removing the leash. He waved farewell and then jogged to his house to start a second job. One where his customers came to him. He waved to Itachi on his way to the basement and started to pull out a variety of lotions and oils. He washed his hands and was soon joined with his first customer.
"Oh hell no. Get out now, sicko." Hidan snapped moodily.
"Relax, I'm a paying customer." Kisame laughed, holding up his hands. "I'll have a sports massage, Hidan."
"Fine then. Go get changed." Hidan sighed, preparing his massage table while Kisame went to a changing room. "Alright, lie down and I'll start with your—Kisame, why aren't you dressed?" Hidan blushed as Kisame returned.
"I changed my mind. I want a happy ending massage." Kisame winked, quickly pinning Hidan to the wall. "I'll pay whatever you want."
"I'm not some whore, fucking sicko." Hidan snapped.
"But you said you take every job." Kisame purred.
"Not this kind of job. Just go to some fucking whore house." He huffed, not too fazed by Kisame's behavior.
"I'm not interested in diseased sluts though." Kisame pouted, grinding against Hidan. "And thanks to you I can't have Itachi."
"Well maybe if you weren't always stalking around the house and doing shit like this I would give you a chance." Hidan growled.
"I only do that because it's who I am. Besides, Itachi thinks I'm a freak." The blue man scowled, nibbling Hidan's neck.
"Kisame, back off." He snarled, finally trying to resist Kisame's advances.
"I love how you don't care about appearances." He whispered huskily and Hidan caught a whiff of alcohol.
"You've been drinking again." He huffed. "Go away or I'll scream and then your chance with Itachi really will be blown."
"Fine. You win this time." He paused, stepping back. "And all those other times. But I will get you back for at least one time." He whined, going back to get dressed.
"See you tomorrow, fish fuck." Hidan hissed, straightening his clothes.
Once Kisame had left, Hidan retreated back upstairs to make the Uchihas dinner. Once dinner was served and eaten he continued about his other household chores. He noticed Itachi had left his diary out again and smirked, snatching it up and tucking it under arm. He rushed up to the attic, plopping down on his bed and then hiding the black book under his pillow. He then pulled out his laptop and checked his messages. His dog-walking job was still ongoing but the borzoi was his priority.
He found no new messages in his inbox save one. It was a chat invite from MoneyMutt. Hidan felt his face heat a bit and rushed to the website. He entered the group chat for all of the members and found Kisame brooding there with MoneyMutt. He scoffed when Kisame casually greeted him but returned it. He was shocked when a fourth user joined—it was Itachi.
Emo Weasel: Oi, bitch, did you steal my diary again?
Sex Shark: If u did, can I have it?
Jashin's Bitch: Hell no to both questions. And don't think I've forgiven you, fucking shark.
MoneyMutt: What did he do?
Emo Weasel: Did it have anything to do with the massage?
Sex Shark: No, no, of course not. Right, bitch?
Jashin's Bitch: Just cause my username is Jashin's Bitch doesn't mean you all can simply call me bitch. And yes, weasel, shark was drunk. Never. Again.
MoneyMutt: I feel sorry for you... you're a masseuse?
Jashin's Bitch: Yeah, sorta.
Sex Shark: Hey, weasel-kun, can you join me for a private chat~?
Emo Weasel: -sighs- Fine.
Sex Shark has left the chat room...
Emo Weasel has left the chat room...
MoneyMutt: So are we alone now?
Jashin's Bitch: More or less. Would you like to join a pc with me?
MoneyMutt: Yeah, I got time to kill... how would one do that though.
Jashin's Bitch: Don't sweat it. I'll take care of it.
Jashin's Bitch has sent a friend request.
Jashin's Bitch: Click accept, mutt.
MoneyMutt has accepted a friend request.
Jashin's Bitch: Okay, I'll set up a private room. BRB.
Jashin's Bitch has left the chat room...
Hidan smiled to himself, hastily setting up an new chat for himself and the mysterious 'MoneyMutt'. He waited in the chat room after sending an invite. He was surprised at how excited he was for the chat. His heart was pounding.
MoneyMutt has joined the chat room...
Jashin's Bitch: Welcome to my room, fucker.
MoneyMutt: Is your mouth so foul in real life?
Jashin's Bitch: Yeah. You got a problem with it...?
MoneyMutt: Not really. It is kind of annoying but I can deal with it. So tell me about yourself.
Jashin's Bitch: Um. I love dogs. I hate real preppy, snobby rich girls and gold diggers. They take all the good men.
MoneyMutt: Yeah. I love dogs too. Chicks are pretty annoying, especially the gold diggers. Kids are annoying too.
Jashin's Bitch: Ugh, tell me about it. I can't stand the little shits.
MoneyMutt: You got any kids?
Jashin's Bitch: Fuck no. And I am a (not-so-proud) virgin.
MoneyMutt: Really? Hard to find a virgin like you.
Jashin's Bitch: Lol. How about you? You a virgin?
MoneyMutt: Unfortunately not... well, my friend would disagree. I haven't been laid in like 10 yrs.
Jashin's Bitch: How old are you?
MoneyMutt: 39, you?
Jashin's Bitch: 22. You've probably had lots of experience in the bedroom.
MoneyMutt: I suppose... 10 years ago. Now I resort to porn to get off. I feel pathetic.
Jashin's Bitch: xD You are dude. You should have just called me up.
MoneyMutt: Rather eager for a virgin...
Jashin's Bitch: Hey, I only became legal a few years ago man, give me a break. I can finally drink now too.
MoneyMutt: Fine. I got to go. I'll be back on tomorrow night or so. Busy work day.
Jashin's Bitch: Yeah, I have lots of shit to do tomorrow. Night man.
MoneyMutt has left the chat room...
Jashin's Bitch has left the chat room...
Hidan smiled, the weird feeling from earlier had grown throughout the conversation with the man. He was already looking for tomorrow night. He returned to the main chat room to see if Kisame and Itachi had returned. They had not so he logged off and shut down his computer, pulling out Itachi's diary. He flipped through out of boredom until a photo fluttered out of the pages. It was a picture of Kisame, much to Hidan's surprise. He flipped a few more pages and found from where the photo had fallen.
Dear Diary, god that is lame. Anyways, although this diary is for my psychiatrist, I can't help but gush about Kisame. Did I seriously just say gush..? Ugh. Moving on...Tonight Kisame invited me to a private chat again. It's quite obvious he was smashed again and I must say I don't mind. He says so many kind things to me. It makes me feel good... If Hidan ever found this he'd probably scoff in my face and say Kisame's just a sick freak. I really wish someone would explain that to me. He seems rather ordinary to me... Handsome too. And so sweet... Perhaps he'll ask me out sometime—while sober, of course. I don't care about the 11 year age difference or that we're both male. After all, Hidan's gay too.
Hidan scoffed at that and flipped a few pages more. His heart stopped when he came across the most recent one. It was about today's events. He knew he had already exceeded his kitty's curiosity limit enough but could not help push it further.
Fuck you, Diary. I'm pissed, I suppose. Mainly jealous and hurt. Hidan's been acting happy recently and when I inquired him about it, he said he was just excited to be walking some dog. A fucking 'Russian Wolfhound'. What a load of bull. Once he came back from his 'walk' I saw he was unusually happy and started his massage job early. In walks Kisame, clearly somewhat intoxicated. He only waved to me and asked for Hidan and whether he was working. Oh he was working alright. Working MY man.
"Oh shit..." Hidan swallowed thickly. "Don't tell me he saw that..." He blushed, daring to read further.
I went down to see if Hidan was going to make dinner anytime soon and there he was, rubbing and grinding against Kisame in all his naked glory. Granted, my pants got a little tight at the sight but I'm still a boy and I could see Kisame was big.
"He was...?" Hidan blinked, trying to recall, "I wasn't paying attention to that shit."
I suppose it could have just been the alcohol. And Hidan doesn't know I love—no, that I'm infatuated with Kisame. I can't blame anyone but myself for not taking earlier action. I'll have to drown my sorrow and move on... I can see they make each other happy...
"OH HELL NO." Hidan snapped, chucking the diary against the wall.
He had absolutely no interest in Kisame. Sure he like the big, strong type and Kisame was an athlete. However he could not stand the man's personality. He was a stalker and an obsessive creep with a sex addiction. Hidan wanted a man that was cooler and mature but not a total stick in the mud. Women annoyed him to no end with all their drama and self-superiority act.
As he thought of his 'type', the online friend, 'MoneyMutt', came to mind. Of course, he had never seen the man as he failed to upload a profile picture. MoneyMutt was older than him and bound to be more mature. He also knows his way around in bed. Then there were his similarities with Hidan. He definitely could not wait to find out more about him—possibly ask him to date.
You all got a little taste of Itachi's mind and Hidan's interests. I assure you some juiciness will be coming soon. Hidan and Kakuzu are to date quite soon... perhaps... Happy birthday to the person that commissioned this and I hope you like it. I apologize for the excessive chat and diary entry stuff in here. I just thought it would be interesting... then there was the little KisaHida... purely due to supressed sexual urges and total intoxication.