Warning: This story deals with domestic violence and the struggles to recover. If you have problems with this issue please don't read this.

Disclaimer: Ms Meyers owns Twilight and all its characters.

Big thanks to my Beta's Taloolah, dizzygirl28 and Beate73. You girls are awesome, I appreciate all the work you do for me, helping me make my stuff presentable. Love you guys.

Thanks to my prereader VanPireNZ for your input, you rock.

Okay on with the story.

A/N at bottom.

My Alice

EPOV

The sight before me caused me to drop to my knees, my legs too weak to hold me up. My Jake, not my Jake, please. My whole body was shaking as the sobs racked through me at the thought of losing my Jake. I wished the car had hit me; I wanted to be the one laying there in his place.

Arms slipped around my waist and pulled me backwards onto a warm lap as words were whispered in my ear. "Edward, its okay, baby, I'm right here." Jake. But how... I must be dreaming... I spun around in his arms to look at him, my hands travelling all over his face and body just to make sure he was real. Then I heard his voice.

"Edward, where's my Edward?" I froze on the spot, and Jake pulled me closer, holding me protectively against him.

"He can't touch you, Edward, not anymore. I'm here, baby, I've got you." My brain was taking a while to catch up with what I was seeing. Jake was holding me close on his lap where we sat in the street; my name was being called by Sam who was being loaded into the ambulance. Sam. It was Sam that was hit, not my Jake. I shuddered and burst out crying with relief and joy.

"It wasn't you, Jake. It wasn't you." I repeated over and over again while clinging to the man I loved. "I love you so much, Jake, thank god it wasn't you."

"You thought it was me that got hit?" Jake's voice was rough and shook slightly.

"I heard you call my name. I stopped and then I heard a noise, and I turned and saw russet skin and black hair, and I thought... I've never been so happy to be wrong." I clung tighter to him. It was at that moment, when I felt all the pain of losing Jake leave my body, that I remembered Jasper and Alice. "Where are Jasper and Alice?" Jake's face changed when I looked up at him. His sad smile turned into a scowl of pain as he looked back over to the front of the restaurant.

"Alice is hurt; Sam pushed her through the window. We..." I pushed away from him as he spoke, and on shaky legs, I ran over to where Jasper was crouched over a small figure, paramedics on the other side trying to get him to move.

"You need to move, sir. We have to get her to the hospital now." The paramedic's voice was firm with an urgent tone. Jasper leaned down and brushed his lips softly against Alice's blood stained forehead and whispered so softly I barely heard the words.

"I will be right with you, Alice. Hold on for me, baby. I love you so, so much. Please, Alice, be strong." Tears rolled down his face as he stood back and let the paramedics load Alice onto a gurney. I was frozen in place, my eyes on Alice the whole time. She was covered in blood and glass. I shivered violently and fell to the ground. I could feel the attack coming and fought violently with myself to keep from passing out. Jake's arms wrapped around me and I heard the buzzing of conversation going on, but I couldn't make out the words. My world was fading fast and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

When I came to, it took me awhile to get my bearings, and I had to shake my head a couple of times to clear it. That's when his voice filtered through to me. "Edward, answer me please, baby. Are you okay?" I sighed when I realized we were in Jake's car, he had strapped me into the passenger's side securely and was driving like a madman.

"Jake, how's Alice? Are we going to the hospital? Is Jasper okay? Did Sam really get hit by the car and not you? Am I dreaming?" The questions flew out of my mouth so fast I had to consciously take a breath as everything came screaming back into my head. Sam being put into the ambulance, the relief I felt when it wasn't Jake that was hit, Alice lying broken on the ground - flash after flash hit me, and I felt my breathing become erratic.

"Edward. Breathe, baby, slow deep breaths." Jake had pulled the car over and was out the door, rushing around to my side and pulling my door open, wrapping me in his arms. The feel of him calmed me, and I felt my breathing even out slowly. My home.I buried my head in his chest and inhaled his scent before looking up at him. He looked so distraught, his face a mask of concern, his eyes shining with fear. A look I never wanted to see on his face again.

"I'm okay, Jake. I'm sorry." I sighed looking down, as my fingers idly traced his chest. I felt so pathetic. Jake was so concerned and Alice was in the hospital...Alice...Oh God, Jasper. "Jake, we need to get to the hospital." Jake chuckled slightly, but there was very little amusement in his tone.

"Look, Edward, we already are." He sighed and kissed the top of my head. It was the wrong time and the wrong place and every part of me screamed at my own selfishness, but I needed him, I needed to feel that connection, so I lifted my head and captured his lips with my own. Jake, being Jake, understood exactly what I needed and opened his mouth to me causing a contented sigh to leave me as our tongues met. His kiss was grounding and freeing. It held me together and gave me hope and as I pulled away I kissed his lips softly one more time.

"Thank you." I whispered. I didn't need to say more - he knew, Jake always knew. He licked his lips, causing my dick to twitch, and I slapped my head and groaned at my own inability to not get aroused by Jake in any situation. He smiled at me in a knowing way and kissed me chastely one more time before pulling me towards the hospital entrance.

"Come on, horn dog," he chuckled before his tone turned more serious, "Let's go check on our family." He tucked me to his side and I clung to him as we walked into the hospital.

"We need to call Esme and Carlisle and Emmett." I reached for my phone just as we hit the nurses' station and jumped when I felt someone touch my shoulder, causing me to curl into Jake more. I was shocked when I turned around to see Carlisle standing there, a look of understanding on his face as he spoke.

"Sorry, Edward, I didn't mean to startle you. I wasn't thinking. Esme is on her way and Jasper is in the waiting room. Alice is in surgery right now, its touch and go." He looked so tired at that point, and I couldn't help the tear that escaped me from the look on his face, but when his words sunk in fully, 'touch and go', I broke down completely, folding in on myself. No, not Alice, this can't be happening. It's a bad dream, a really fucking bad nightmare and I was going to wake up and Alice would be in the kitchen making coffee bugging me about how far Jake and I had gotten with each other.

I pinched myself hard and waited to wake up. Nothing. I was still leaning against Jake at the nurses' station while Carlisle and Jake looked on in concern. "Jasper?" I asked, through gasps and Carlisle turned on his heels leading the way. As soon as I saw him, I took off and threw myself at him, holding on for dear life and sobbing into his shirt. "I'm so sorry, it's all my fault..." that was as far as I got before he cut me off.

"Stop. None of this is your fault, Edward, none of it. Alice will kick your ass for even thinking that when I tell her..." His voice cracked as he spoke. He pulled me tighter to him and I felt the top of my head get wet where he rested his. I knew how he felt. For that moment in time when I thought I had lost Jake, my world ended; the light disappeared and darkness took over. Jasper would be feeling like that now. Alice was his light, they were made for each other, and taking one away would be like splitting him down the centre.

I felt Jake come up to us and hug me from behind, wrapping his arms around Jasper's shoulders. One of Jasper's arms let me go and flew up over my shoulder, where I think he was clinging on to Jake's shirt, sandwiching me tight in the middle. I reached back with one of my hands and placed it on Jake's hip pulling him impossibly closer as I took comfort from two of the people I love most in the world while we waited on word about the third.

Over the past few weeks we had become like our own little family, the four of us. Alice was an integral part of that for each of us in different ways. We all loved her, we all needed her, and we would all be lost without her, but none so much as Jasper. Gradually we pulled apart, but kept close. Jasper sat in one of the plastic chairs, Jake beside him with me pulled onto his lap. My eyes were scanning the room, and I leaned back into Jake, letting his warmth comfort me, while one of my hands sat firmly nestled in Jasper's, squeezing every once in a while. I wasn't sure if I was doing it to reassure him or me, but either way, he would squeeze back every time.

My eyes landed on Esme and I tried to get up but almost fell, forgetting that Jake's arms where wrapped so tightly around me. He pulled me back gently before letting go so I could move. I ran to Esme and pulled her to me tightly. "I love you, mom." Were the first words out of my mouth as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me to her.

"I love you, too, sweetheart, and I'm so relieved you are okay." She sobbed gently and crushed me firmly to her with strength I didn't know she possessed. Just when I was starting to feel vulnerable, I felt Jake's hand on my back. He must have noticed my body tremble, and like always, was there to ground me. God, I loved him. I turned my head to look at him and smiled as I eased out of Esme's arms and grabbed her hand. It was then I noticed Carlisle standing beside her, and I offered him a weak smile just as Jasper approached.

"Any news, Carlisle?" Jasper asked in a strained voice, causing me to grab his hand and hold tightly. He smiled down at me and squeezed my hand before turning back to Carlisle.

"She made it through the surgery. Glass was embedded in her arms, legs, back and neck. Luckily, no major arteries where hit, but it was touch and go for a while. She's still unconscious; they are not sure how long it will take her to wake up. Really we won't know anything till she regains consciousness. But it looks good." Carlisle finished off before taking Esme into his arms and heaving a sigh of relief. "Our baby is gonna be just fine."

Jasper threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly, laughing through his tears. "I knew she was going to be fine, nothing can keep my girl down." His voice dropped to almost a whisper so only I could hear him, "I'm going to marry that girl." His grip relaxed on me as he pulled back slightly to look me in the eyes as the tears fell. He looked so hopeful, but still worried. He wouldn't be truly satisfied until he could see her, hold her. Until she woke up.

"Can we see her?" I asked, needing to see for myself, just like Jasper, that she was still with us.

"She is in recovery now, but as soon as she is moved to her room you can go. I've spoken to the nurses to let them know that my daughter will have constant visitors and to not kick any of you out. Being Chief of Surgery here has its perks." He smiled and then went off to prepare her room, Esme following close behind him.

Three hours and copious amounts of horrid coffee later, we were allowed to go to Alice's room. As soon as we walked through the door Jasper was at her side, taking the chair next to her bed and grabbing on to her hand. His other hand gently stroked her hair as he whispered his love to her. It was so very intimate, and my heart skipped a beat. As always, Jake was by my side, his hand holding mine securely.

He gave me strength I never knew I possessed. He made me stronger and tougher, yet he also made me turn to goo every time he looked at me that certain way. Jake took a seat on the other side of Alice and pulled me back down onto his lap. My favorite place to be today. I took hold of Alice's other hand and told her how much I loved her, and then I rose and kissed her cheek before settling back down into Jake's lap. We sat there for a while before Esme came in, sitting down next to us with a far away look on her face. She was so deep in thought she startled when I touched her.

The week went on this way, Jake sitting with me in his lap, holding Alice's other hand. Jasper rarely left her side and when he did it was just to use the adjoining bathroom where he also showered. Jake and I would get him food or take short walks around the grounds to give him some privacy with Alice. We only left the hospital once, and that was to get clothes for everyone. Carlisle let us use the staff change rooms to shower and clean up, which we were very grateful for.

Emmett and Rose flew in the day after Alice had come out of surgery. It took them a while to organize time off work and sitters, but they made it remarkably quick. Jasper had given them the keys to his and Alice's apartment so they could have somewhere to sleep. Jasper slept by Alice's bedside, while Jake and I used the couch. Jasper told us to go home and rest, but there was no way I could leave while Alice was still unconscious. I had to be there when she woke up, like she always was for me. Jasper understood when I explained it to him.

We were all gathered around her bed, exactly a week after she had surgery, when Alice opened her eyes. The relief in the room was palpable as everyone tried their best not to just jump on her and smother her with love. What surprised me the most was the first words out of her mouth. "Edward?" She croaked while looking at Jasper, "Please tell me Edward is safe." I couldn't contain the tears that fell as I leaned over her bed and grabbed her hand.

"I'm fine, Alice, I'm right here." I sobbed as she turned to look at me, her relief obvious on her face.

"Oh, thank god." Her voice was weak and rough, but it held strong emotion. I bent down and gently wrapped my arms around her.

"You shouldn't worry about me woman child." She chuckled at my name for her, "You need to get better, I can't... I wont... Alice, I love you." I pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.

"I love you too, Edward." She smiled slightly and patted my hand that was holding hers before turning to look at Jasper. "Jazzy?"

"Yes, baby?" His eyes never left hers as he leaned in and kissed her lips gently. They both sighed in contentment as he pulled away.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her eyes tracing over his body and face.

"I'm fine, baby, now that you are awake."

"How long was I...oh, ow..." She cut off as her breathing came out in sharp pants. "Hurts." She managed to get out in a whisper. Carlisle was by her side in a second, pressing the button for the nurse and ordering her to bring some pain medication for Alice. Then he looked her over, checking her already healing wounds.

"Where does it hurt sweetheart?" He asked, his face a mask of concern.

"Umm," her face flushed slightly and then she looked down. I followed her line of sight and a giggle escaped me as I realized that it was the catheter that was causing her problems. I remembered how that felt, those things got painful. She looked at me, highly un-amused by my outburst and turned back to Carlisle. "Can you get this taken out now?" She pointed to her mid section, her eyes firmly fixed on her dad. He chuckled softly, as did everyone else. More with relief that she wasn't in any real pain than anything else.

"Sure, sweetheart, right away. Everyone out for a minute please while we get this sorted." Carlisle's voice was firm when he ordered everyone out of the room, but Jasper refused to move.

"It's okay, dad, Jasper can stay." Alice said, grabbing hold of Jasper's hand and squeezing it at the relieved look on his face. It would be a long time before he would be comfortable leaving her alone.

I gave Alice a kiss on the cheek before I left the room. Jake took my hand and led me to the seats across the hall, pulling me down with him as he sat. "How are you holding up, baby?" He asked as he placed a kiss on my neck. I moaned softly and leaned into his lips.

"Much better now. Mmm, Jake, if you don't stop that I'm going to have to take you home and do naughty things to you." I sighed as his tongue ran up my neck to my ear which he took into his mouth and sucked on gently. The relief that everyone was okay was making me extremely playful, and I loved when Jake would do things like this to me.

"Mmm, sounds like a good idea to me. And you did promise to let me taste you." He looked up at me and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. I couldn't contain the blush that ran up my cheeks, causing Jake to moan softly himself. "I will never get tired of seeing that." He said as his fingers ran gently along my cheek.

"That's a good thing, since you make it happen so often." I replied and poked my tongue out at him before leaning back and resting my head against his shoulder. I closed my eyes, content and happy. Alice was okay, and Jake was with me. Everything was perfect. It was then that I remembered Sam, and my body jerked, tremors running through it. I can't believe I forgot about Sam. No one mentioned him. Was he dead? Is he alive and roaming around the hospital? I felt Jake's arms tighten around me.

"Edward? Baby, are you okay? What is it?" His voice was thick with worry.

"Sam. I forgot about Sam. Where is he? What happened?" My voice was a whisper as I turned to look at Jake, my eyes filling with tears. "I can't believe I just forgot about the one person that has caused me so much trouble, what is wrong with me, Jake?" It was insane that my mind hadn't once led to him during this past week.

"You have had so much to deal with, sweetheart. With Alice being in surgery and waiting for her to wake up, your mind was probably just protecting itself from overload." His voice was soothing to me as he whispered in my ear. "I checked up on Sam, so I would know where he was. He's in a coma. They are not sure if or when he will wake up; there was a lot of internal damage caused from the car hitting him. It's a 'wait and see' thing. He's up on the next floor." Jake's voice was soft in tone, but I could hear the undercurrent of anger in his voice.

"I want... I think maybe..." I wasn't sure how to get it out. A part of me wanted to see him, to make sure he was there and not about to jump out at me from some dark corner, but another part of me was praying he would just die. It was hard for me to think that about another human being, even him.

"You want me to take you to see him?" Jake asked in a soft and caring voice; there was no judgment in it.

"I think...I don't know, Jake. Yes and no." I sighed deeply and snuggled back into Jake. "Jake, I..." I turned my head and kissed his neck, inhaling his scent at the same time and made up my mind, "I think I just want to stay here with you for a while, see Alice again when they are done in there. I'm not ready to face him yet."

"Whatever you need, baby." He pulled me close to him and turned my head up to capture my lips with his, "What ever you need."

"Thank you." I whispered against his lips.

"Ahem." I jumped at the sound of Jasper's voice and he laughed, "Sorry to interrupt guys, but Alice wants to see you both." He laughed again and turned and headed back into her room.

"He always did have awful timing," Jake said with a chuckle before gripping me firmly around my waist and pulling us up together, leading us into Alice's room.

A/N Me and a few of my girls are running a contest. Its a NO BELLA ALLOWED CONTEST. Which means no Bella in the fic at all, not even a hinting of her. Submissions are being accepted now, details can be found here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2216993/ so enter and show me how good my readers are!!!!!