Warning: This story deals with domestic violence and the struggles to recover. If you have problems with this issue please don't read this.

Disclaimer: Ms Meyers owns Twilight and all its characters.

Big thanks to my Beta's Taloolah, dizzygirl28 and Beate73. You girls are awesome; I appreciate all the work you do for me, helping me make my stuff presentable. Love you guys.

Thanks to my prereader VanPireNZ for your input, you rock.

Okay on with the story.

Regression

Jacob's POV

When Edward left my side to go to the bathroom, panic set in. It was irrational and I knew it, but flashes of his face when he ran out of that restaurant flashed through my mind. It took everything in me to stay where I was and not follow.

I vaguely heard Jasper talking to Alice, but my focus was on Edward as he emerged from the bathroom, his face was positively glowing, his eyes were watery and his smile was magnificent. He looked truly stunning, and my breath caught.

My focus was shifted by a very high pitched squeal, followed by a "yes, yes, yes," as Alice threw herself at Jasper, knocking them both to the floor in her excitement. She was kissing every part of his face, her whole face glowing with excitement as tears of happiness flow down her cheeks. It truly was a beautiful sight.

That's when I realized what I had missed - Jasper had proposed. I turned back to Edward as he wrapped his arms around me, his eyes never leaving Alice and Jasper.

"I'm so happy for them." He murmured before turning his attention to me and kissing me softly on the lips. A happy sigh left me as I returned the kiss.

"I am too." I replied against his lips. "How about we give them some privacy?" Alice and Jasper were lost in each other, and by the looks of it, had totally forgotten we were in the room as their hands roamed each other's bodies and their kisses grew more frantic. I felt like a complete voyeur, and I tugged Edward to the door, blushing slightly.

Edward giggled quietly at my side as he allowed me to lead him out of the room and back to his apartment. "I'm sure we will be hearing from them soon enough." He said as we walked in his front door. "Do you think they will even remember we were there?"

"At some point, I'm sure they will." I laughed loudly at the thought of their reaction to the fact they had lost total control in front of an audience.

"I don't know about you, but right now, all I want to do is crawl into bed with the man I love and sleep for a week." Edward said, looking up at me.

"I couldn't agree more. Lead the way, baby." I followed Edward into his, no, our bedroom, and we both got changed into our pajamas. It was actually the first time we had stripped down in front of each other, and I could feel his eyes on me as I shed my clothes and pulled on my sleep pants.

He huffed out and turned his head as I looked up at him. He was blushing slightly, my guess at being caught ogling me in my underwear.

"You know, Edward, you can look at me anytime, in any state of dress or undress." I loved teasing him when he got all shy about this stuff, but what I loved more was the fact that I could tease him about this stuff. I also knew it would help him relax.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Jacob." I laughed as he looked at me with innocent eyes and a slight smirk on his face.

"Uh huh, fine, whatever you say sweet cheeks." He giggled a little as he got into bed, mumbling "sweet cheeks indeed" under his breath.

"I heard that, Edward. You're not as stealthy as you think you are." He crawled over to me as I settled between the sheets and curved his body around mine, resting his head on my chest and running his fingers over my abs. I shivered slightly from his actions.

He knew exactly what that did to me, and that fact was confirmed when his shoulders started to shake as he tried to suppress his laughter.

"I thought you were tired, Edward?" I asked, trying to distract myself as his fingers moved lower, circling the top of my pajama pants.

"I do believe I'm getting my second wind." He replied matter of factly before lowering his head and placing light kisses on my chest. I moaned loudly and threaded my fingers through his hair.

"Edward..." My voice cut off as he took one of my nipples in his mouth.

"Mmm?" His voice was muffled from his actions, and the vibration it sent through me caused my dick to twitch.

"You need to stop that before I lose all sense of self control." I tugged on his hair gently to try and remove his mouth from me. He looked up at me. His eyes had darkened considerably, and he had the cutest little pout on his face.

He crawled over me and laid himself out, much like he had the night he fell asleep on me, and the memories of that night cause my hips to thrust up ever so slightly, but enough that he felt it and moaned softly in my ear, taking my lobe into his mouth and sucking on it.

"Edward, please." I begged, unsure if I was begging him to stop or to keep going. All I knew was that my control was slipping. It had been weeks of kisses and innocent touches, and my body was crying out for release. I had only managed to 'clean the pipes' a few times a week, since Edward was always with me, or needed me. So most showers where fast.

His hips started to grind into mine as his lips trailed down my neck, kissing, sucking and nipping his way down. When he hit that sweet spot on my neck, my hips bucked up hard, my control slipping quickly.

I placed my hands on his hips to still his movement, causing him to look at me with a raised eyebrow. "Edward, we haven't talked about this yet; are you sure you're ready to move forward?" My constant concern about him helped me focus.

"Jake." He peppered kisses to my jaw, moving towards my lips, kissing me deeply before continuing with his lips still pressed gently against mine. "I...I just want to feel, I want to...I don't know what I want, Jake, all that I know for sure is this feels right. I may not be ready for sex yet," he blushed as he spoke, "but I am ready for more." He kissed me deeply again, cutting off what I was about to say, but I pulled back. I had to be sure.

Just as I opened my mouth to speak, he placed his hand over my lips, "I'm sure, Jake. I love you." The look that he gave me melted my soul, and that was all it took for me to give in completely. What ever he wanted, I would give him.

I pulled him to me, one hand moving through his hair, angling his head so I could kiss him deeper, while the other slid down his naked back until I was cupping his ass, squeezing it gently. My hips came up to meet his again and again, our kissing becoming more frantic as our hands traced flesh and our cocks rubbed together through the thin fabric. Pants and groans echoed off the walls and I couldn't get enough of him, the only thought through my head was more, please God, more as pleas fell from his beautiful mouth.

"Jake, please, Jake… oh God, touch me." I froze for a moment at his request before I slid my hands gently underneath his sleep pants and cupped his bare ass. My hands rubbed over the flesh in worship as I pulled him down to me to add more friction.

"Tell me what you want, baby?" I asked as I continue to thrust upward.

"I want more, Jake...please....oh God...." Edward pulled away from me quickly, hooking his hands under the elastic of my pants and pulling them down and completely off, then tugged his own down before resuming his position. The moment his bare cock touched mine I moaned loudly and pulled him to me, reclaiming his lips and groaning in his mouth.

His hands wandered my chest and sides until they slid underneath me and pulled me closer, our hips never stalling in their quest for release. My lips move down his jaw, nipping across it and down his neck. I licked up to his ear and whispered, "I love you so fucking much," before sucking it into my mouth. His thrusts became more forceful as did mine, and he moaned.

"I love you, too, Jake, more than I have ever loved anyone." His words come out in thick pants, and he bit down on my neck. That was the last straw, and I thrust faster and faster, the tight coil springing its release, and I came harder than I have in a very long time, his name falling from my lips in between 'oh God's' and 'fuck'. Edward came right after me, his screams filling the air as my name passed his lips over and over again.

We lay panting and breathless as we recovered from our orgasms, a blissful high taking over. We kissed passionately until the wetness between us became a sticky mess.

"Shower?" He asked, cocking his head towards the bathroom door.

"Together?" I raise my eyebrow at him in question. He laughed at the look on my face.

"Of course, together. Come on silly man." He got up and tugged me with him. We showered quickly with minimal contact. Edward seemed shy and he made sure he stood behind me the whole time, then snuck out quickly and wrapped a towel around himself before I got out.

Making sure I never saw his back, he made his way into the bedroom to dry and get dressed. Understanding took over me at his awkward backwards walking, and I realized he was trying to keep that tattoo hidden from me, even though I had already seen it.

I dried and dressed quickly and joined Edward back in bed. We need to talk about this, I wouldn't allow anything to fester or come between us, especially my dead cousin.

"Edward?"

He cut me off quickly. "I know Jake, I'm sorry, its just...even though I know you have already seen it...I can't help the natural instinct to hide it. Especially from you. I don't want you to see me as damaged; I want to be a whole man for you. I want so much to put everything behind me. To be the man that you deserve." I felt my eyes tear up at his words. How could he not see that he was everything to me; he was the man I deserved.

"Edward, I love every piece of you. You are the man I deserve, a whole man. You are everything I always wanted. You make me a better man; you make me want to strive to be more. Without you, I have nothing." He threw himself into my arms and held me tightly, sniffles occasionally coming from him.

I knew I could go on without him; I knew I could move forward and live, but it would be shallow; I would feel hollow and life would lose all color. He was everything to me, it was that simple.

"How about we get some sleep. I don't know about you, but someone exhausted me." I joked to try and lighten the mood. Edward was getting better at dealing with things, at taking things in, but I also knew that too much at once would set him back. We had to take things slow. Especially after Esme.

"Sounds perfect to me. Jake, would you do me a favor? Could you hold me all night?" I smiled and placed a chaste kiss against his lips.

"Of course, baby. Come here." He snuggled down into my arms and I fell asleep to the sounds of his breath evening out.

I was jolted awake the next morning by a persistent banging on the front door. Edward was nestled into my side, his hands gripping and releasing me constantly until his voice popped up, "For the love of God, please shut that noise up." I chuckled and got out of bed.

"Where the hell are you going, Mister?" He grumbled

"To make the noise shut up." I chuckled again.

"Do you have to get up to do that?" He was still half asleep, his eyes barely open, his hands clutching my arms.

"Someone is at the door, baby." I couldn't help but laugh full out at his pout. It didn't quite work when he was half asleep; instead of looking sexy, like that pout usually did, he just looked damn adorable.

The banging got louder and more persistent, so I threw the covers back and jumped out of bed, avoiding Edward's hands as he tried to grab me and pull me back in. I pulled a t-shirt over my head and walked to the bedroom door just as Edward was pulling on a shirt of his own.

We both made our way to the door, Edward moving to stand behind me, his head peaking around my shoulder.

"What are you doing?" I asked. I was confused as to why he was behind me, almost like he was hiding. "This is your house, baby, you should answer the door." He shoved me gently in the back, pushing me closer to the door.

"You answer it," he said as he kept hidden behind me. The knocking continued as I yelled out "Give me a minute," and turned to Edward. "Baby, why are you hiding behind me?" Sam was dead, he had nothing to worry about anymore, and I was a bit perplexed by his actions.

Edward just shrugged his shoulders and smiled tentatively before rolling his shoulders back and standing up straight. He reached for the door handle and opened the door with a soft sigh. I would definitely get to the bottom of that later. But right now we had Alice and Jasper standing at our door. I turned to look at the clock and was startled to read that it was already eleven in the morning.

Alice threw herself at Edward who luckily caught her and spun her around. He smiled and kissed her head, telling her "Congratulations Alice," before she even had a chance to say anything. At the puzzled look on her face I interjected.

"We were there last night when Jasper proposed. I guess you too were a little too caught up to realize, so we quietly left to give you some privacy." I chuckled as Jasper's face flushed and Alice giggled.

"Yeah, umm, sorry about that?" It came out as a question as Jasper tried to hide his embarrassment and failed miserably. Even Edward was laughing by this point, and Jasper couldn't help but join in when he added, "So exactly how much did you see?"

"Much more than I ever wanted to, but not enough to scar me for life." Edward said and hugged Jasper to him, whispering softly in his ear, "Congratulations, Jazz, I'm so happy for you."

"Edward, I have a favor to ask." Jasper said and Edward nodded his head for Jasper to continue. "Will you be my best man?" Edward stood there with his mouth hanging open, eyes wide in shock.

"I thought you would...but what about..." Edward took a deep breath and tried to get himself under control, "I thought you would ask Jake? But I would be honored Jazzy." Edward finally got out. Alice started to mumble in the background.

"God damn it Jasper, I wanted Edward, now what the hell am suppose to do. I was looking forward to having a male maid of honor..." Alice kept the rant up until Edward placed a hand over her mouth.

"You know, Jake is still available."

"Edward." Alice and I both said at the same time. Alice said it like he was the smartest man in the world; I said it like I was going to kill him in private later. Edward looked at me with slight panic in his eyes. Then dropped his head and whimpered.

"Edward?" I said softly as I made my way over to him and wrapped my arms gently around his waist. He pulled away from me slightly, and I slackened my arms so he could move out of them if he wished. But then he leaned back into me and sighed, mumbling a quick "sorry" under his breath.

Something was seriously wrong with him, he was acting so out of character, or more to the point he was acting like he did... Oh. Everything finally fell into place. The need to hide behind me and the reaction to my tone of voice - he was slowly regressing to his prior behavior. It had been a while since he had pulled away from me, or even shown the slightest bit of fear. He was even arguing with me and standing up for himself a lot.

Sam's death and Esme's involvement must have triggered this behavior. Not that I had much clue as to how to handle this, but I also figured if Edward was having this reaction to all of this then he probably wouldn't want to speak to Esme about it.

"Edward," I leaned down and whispered in his ear, causing him to shiver slightly, "are you okay, baby? Do you need anything?" He turned to me and smiled before kissing me, his body relaxing into me.

"I'm fine baby...I'm not really sure what happened then. Can we talk about it later?" He asked in a soft whisper.

"Sure." Not that I was sure at all, but I decided it was better not to push him. I left Edward with Alice and Jasper, telling Alice to keep him occupied so I could call Esme about something. Alice smiled and said "Sure, but you will tell me what's going on later." I added a "sure, sure," with absolutely no intention of telling her anything.

Esme answered on the second ring, almost like she was expecting my call.

"Esme, it's Jake, I was wondering if you could help me out with Edward? He seems to have withdrawn this morning, having old reactions to things, and I'm really not sure what to do about it."

"I was hoping this wouldn't happen but figured it would. Does he want to see me?" She asked, and I could hear the hope in her voice.

"I don't know he hasn't said anything, and this reaction only happen this morning when Alice and Jasper showed up to tell us about the wedding." I bit my lip, worried I had spilled the news to Esme before Alice had the chance to.

"Yes," Esme chuckled, "I knew about the wedding. I'm very excited about it. How about you talk to Edward after Alice and Jasper leave and find out if he wants to see me. If not, then you can come see me and we can discuss what you can do to help him. How does that sound?" Esme sounded so tired, and I thought it would be a good idea to go see her regardless.

"Sounds good to me. Esme? Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Not right now, Jake. I think I'm coping as best as I can. Thanks for asking, though."

"Anytime, mom," I said, knowing how much it meant to her when any of us called her that. She chuckled softly.

"Thanks for that, Jake, I love you."

"Love you, too. Speak to you soon." We hung up and I made my way back out to the others. As soon as I entered the room, I looked for Edward. He was usually by my side the moment I entered a room, but he was sitting on the couch, looking out the window. I went to sit next to him. He was deep in thought and jumped when I touched him. The first flinch in a long time.

I sighed softly, and for the first time in five weeks, I thought there was a very good chance I could lose him.