Warning: This story deals with domestic violence and the struggles to recover. If you have problems with this issue please don't read this.

Disclaimer: Ms Meyers owns Twilight and all its characters.

Big thanks to my Beta's Taloolah, dizzygirl28 and Beate73. You girls are awesome; I appreciate all the work you do for me, helping me make my stuff presentable. Love you guys.

Thanks to my prereader VanPireNZ it's good to have you back bb I've missed you so damn much. Love ya.

Okay on with the story

Green Eyed Monster

EPOV

Standing at the counter, Jake's hand securely in mine, I felt a tremor run though me. It was the look on Seth's face; it told me everything I needed to know. He was still in love with Jake - my Jake.

I wondered why he never mentioned that he still loved him during our many conversations about him. I knew he was still very fond of him and that he kept the contact sporadic because it hurt him to be around Jake, but I had no idea he was still in love with him.

I narrowed my eyes slightly at him and then turned to look at Jake, trying to gauge his reaction since he always wore his emotions on his face. I breathed out a sigh of relief when he was looking down at me, love shining in his eyes.

He mouthed, "Are you okay?" I just smiled and nodded. I could get through this knowing that Seth's feelings weren't reciprocated. The knowledge that Jake was all mine just added to my courage.

"J?" Seth asked, cutting through our little moment.

"Long time no see." Jake replied, squeezing my hand.

"Yeah." Seth seemed too stunned to come up with anything else to say. He shifted slightly and then moved towards the counter, leaning on it, like he needed the support. He finally looked at me, and it looked like it took effort to drag his eyes away from Jake. "Hey, Edward."

"Hi Seth." I know my voice sounded a little put out, but it was hard to hide just how Seth's ogling of Jake affected me. Jake of course noticed straight away and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close.

"So, you're going to cover up Edward's old tattoo for him?" This seemed to pull Seth out of whatever internal debate he was having, and a mask slipped onto his face.

"Sure, you brought the picture?" He turned to me and smiled, but it never reached his eyes. I slid the piece of paper across the counter and Seth picked it up. "A wolf huh? I take it this is from the legend?" My brows furrowed in confusion as I looked to Jake. How did he know about the legend?

"Seth is Quileute as well. We grew up on the same reservation." My mouth dropped open as Seth continued.

"Yeah we've know each other all our lives, I had a terrible crush on him growing up, but it took years for me to finally admit it. Took Jake even longer to come around." Seth chuckled slightly, looking fondly at Jake. "I made so many mistakes back then," he muttered, but I caught it and sighed.

There was a part of me that was a little worried he would make this tattoo hurt more than it should out of jealousy, but then I remember it was Seth. He was always so kind and sweet, and he did always wish the best for Jake. That still didn't stop the tremor that ran through my body.

"Alright," Seth shook his head and clapped his hands together, "Let's get down to business. Give me a bit to draw this up and then we will get started. You two want a coffee while ya wait?"

Jake looked at me and I nodded, "Sure, Seth."

"White, two sugars, right Jake?" Seth asked.

Jake nodded his head and added, "Edward takes his white with one." He pulled me tighter to his side and turned to place a kiss on my head. Seth nodded back and turned to walk away, mumbling under his breath.

"Well, that was...awkward," I said, as Jake pulled me over to the chairs and took a seat, pulling me down onto his lap.

"A little I guess, but I'm more worried about how you're doing. You have been shaking a fair bit, baby, you sure everything is okay?" Jake's arms tightened around me as his nose buried itself into my hair. I smiled when a soft sigh escaped him.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little...well, umm, Seth used to talk about you. A lot." Jake turned me to face him and raised an eyebrow at me in question.

"What did he say?" Jake's curiosity was evident and I was nervous again. I knew Jake loved me, I really did, but love didn't always mean good things. Seth was such a better option than me. I was broken and Seth was....not.

"Why are you so curious?" I could hear the jealousy lace my tone and I cringed at the sound. This was not a part of myself I liked very much. I never had to worry about jealousy with Sam; I was too busy trying to just get through the next day, so I really wasn't sure how to handle it.

"It's the cop in me, I'm always curious." Jake laughed. "Seriously, Edward, I'm just wondering what he had to say. I would hate to think he said anything that would make you not love me anymore." And there it was, written all over his face. He was truly concerned that something I had heard about him would make me run away. I laughed out loud in my relief and hugged him to me tightly, kissing his neck.

"What a pair we make. I was terrified you would see Seth as a better option than me, and you were worried he said something to make me leave." Jake looked at me, his expression so serious it caused the laughter to catch in my throat. "What?" I asked my voice shaking.

"Edward, I need you to listen to me very closely, okay?" I nodded, my throat too constricted to speak. Was this it? Was this how it was going to end?

"There is nothing, no one, that could ever take me away from you. I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone or anything in my entire life. You. Are. It. For. Me." He punctuated ever word with a kiss to my lips, and I could feel the tears running down my face. "It will always be you Edward, I have told you before and I will tell you again, often. You are the love of my life, my other half, the one thing that completes me. It's you, Edward."

"I love you too, Jake, so very much. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. Sometimes I wonder where I would be if you hadn't come along and slowly, patiently, broken down my walls." I said, kissing him softly and pulling back to rest my head against his shoulder, my face turned towards his neck, breathing in his wonderful scent. The smell that screamed home to me.

We just sat there holding each other as I thought back over my life, chuckling to myself when I remember that day in the hospital when I first officiallymet Jake. How my body responded to him, how it knew way before I did that he was the one for me.

The sound of Seth clearing his throat brought me out of my thoughts and I turned my head to look at him. He had a small smile on his face, but I could see the sadness in his eyes. "All set guys," he said.

"Thanks, Seth," Jake replied, and I turned to face him, noticing his eyes were still on me. He was looking at me like I was the most important thing in the world, and my heartbeat picked up as a huge smile took over my face.

I heard Seth sigh and I felt a pang in my chest. Now that I knew Jake was completely mine – even though a huge part of me was still seeing green – I put myself in Seth's place and realized just how hard this must be for him – loving someone you can never have – and I thought what it would be like to be him. To want Jake, to know what it was like to be loved by Jake and to also know that I would never be able to feel that again, and my heart broke a little in that moment for Seth.

"You ready, baby?" Jake asked, pulling me to him. His protective arms wrapped around me as he pulled me up with him when I nodded. He learned down and kissed me before untangling me from his arms and grabbing hold of my hand. "I will be with you the whole time," he whispered in my ear, and then turned to walk us toward Seth.

I squeezed his hand and smiled at him as we walked, following Seth to his section. He had a chair set up beside the table I would be laying on, ready for Jake.

"Okay, so we ready to get started?" Seth asked and I nodded slightly, my body shaking at the thought of someone else seeing the brand Sam had left on me. Seth, through our many conversations, knew that I had come from a bad relationship, but he had no idea exactly what I had been through. Today he would get a look at one of my worse memories. I knew there would be questions; I just hoped that I could get through it, without any flashbacks.

Jake's arms wrapped around me again and I felt just how bad my tremors were as he shook along with me. "Shh, baby, it's okay, you don't have to do this today if you're not ready. I'm here." My tremors slowed as his words reached me and I held onto him, tears sliding down my face, yet again. But this time I didn't feel weak, I just felt sad and afraid.

"Are you okay?" Seth asked, as he placed his hand on my shoulder causing me to flinch severely. He knew I flinched when touched, he had seen it first hand, and even though I could tell from his face that he knew it was caused from my past, he never mentioned it. He quickly apologized as Jake held up a hand to let him know to back off.

"I'm here, baby, you're safe. You know I would never let anyone hurt you. It's okay baby, I've got you." As Jake whispered soothing words into my ear I realized that I was sobbing. Memories played through my mind, and for the first time that day, I wasn't sure I could do this. I was ready, I wanted his mark gone, but I was terrified of that gun.

Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself and inhaled Jake's scent, taking strength from it and his arms, I pushed all thoughts but us out of my mind. I let myself focus on Jake and all the wonderful things we had shared together. All the times I had fallen apart and he had saved me, held me and helped me through them. I managed to pull myself together and mumble out an apology.

"Sorry, I'm ready, just...um...Jake, don't let go please. I need to feel you at all times, okay?" He smiled at me and kissed away my tears before placing one last kiss on my forehead.

"Of course, baby, you know I would never leave your side." His smile was breathtaking, but his eyes held the pain he felt for me; the love and the compassion that was always there shone through like a beacon of hope for me. I smiled at that, at the way he could always calm me and make me forget the bad stuff. I just wasn't sure it would be enough today.

"Do you want me to call Jasper?" Jake asked, "Maybe it might help if you had the both of us here, though I'm sure Alice would want to be here too." He chuckled, but I could hear the slight strain in his voice. I really wanted to do this with just Jake, to show him that he was enough, but I just didn't know if I could. I sighed heavily in defeat and raised my eyes to look at Jake's beautiful face before dropping them again.

He had his phone out before I even said a word. Like he usually did, Jake knew what I needed sometimes even before I did.

"I love you so much," I whispered softly, causing that smile I adored to take over his face as he spoke into the phone.

"Jasper. Hey, we are at Inkspiration, you know where that is?" Jake asked and I could just make out Jasper's reply.

"Yeah, it's not far from the clinic. What's going on?"

"Edward wanted to get his tattoo covered today and we are down here doing just that, but I think it would be really good if you could get down here..." Jake didn't have to finish before I heard Jasper's reply.

"We will be right there."

Jake flipped the phone shut and smiled at me and then turned to Seth. "Can ya give us about fifteen minutes? I think Edward could use some extra support."

"Sure, that's not a problem." Seth's voice was soft as he answered. When I turned to look at him, his eyes were filled with sadness and compassion as he smiled at me and then gave me a quick wink, "How about we get you set up and ready so that by the time they get here we should be good to go?"

I turned to Jake and hesitated for just a second before placing my hands at the hem of my shirt and pulling it up slowly. I took in a gulp of air as my hands started to tremble when I felt the air hit my back and heard Seth's sharp intake of breath. I was looking at Jake only, taking comfort from his beautiful face. His eye's flashed to Seth's and held a look I had seen often from him, though it was always directed at other people and never at me. It was his warning look, his look that said 'don't you make this harder on him or I will beat the living shit out of you.'

He looked back at me and his face softened. Grabbing my hands, he helped me pull the shirt over my head, taking it from me and folding it before placing it neatly on the bench. Returning to my side, he helped me lay down on my stomach on the table, and then surprised me by kissing my tattoo before taking his seat and grabbing my hand in his.

"You are perfect, Edward. You know that right?" His eyes sparkling as he stared at me, trapping me in his beautiful brown orbs. I made a noise that sounded like a cross between a sigh and a moan, causing him to chuckle at me before leaning down and kissing my lips.

Seth cleared his throat and I turned to look at him just in time to see a ray of emotions wash over his features before a small smile settled on his lips. He then moved forward, looking at me, "I'm going to rub some alcohol over the area of the tattoo, and then I'm going to shave off any hair you have in that area. Then I'm going to wet the area and apply the transfer, once I get it positioned in just the right spot. Then I'm going to add some ointment onto you back to keep the outline in place longer and help the needle slide over your skin easier. Okay, Edward?"

I nodded and turned away from him, my eyes finding Jake's and holding them. He squeezed my hand as I felt Seth apply something cold to my back and then start to shave it. Not that there was much hair there, if any, but it was part of the process. Once he had finished, I felt more coldness, then a towel run over my skin drying it off. Then I felt him move the paper over my back, I guess looking for the best spot to make sure Sam's name was covered.

To my relief, he had not mentioned anything about that tattoo other than the gasp that left him when he first saw it. Once he had found the right spot I felt more coldness, and then paper been pressed down onto my skin.

"Just placing the stencil so the outline is clear in the spot we want it," he said as I felt him pull the paper from its place on my back. Just as the paper had come off, I heard Jasper's voice calling out for us.

"Back here," Jake answered, his eyes never leaving mine. I heard two lots of footsteps coming closer until I heard Jasper again.

"Wow, that is going to look awesome."

"It really does look great, doesn't it?" Alice said before adding, "If it looks that good now, imagine how good it will look when it's done." As she finished I felt Seth rub some lotion of some kind onto the outline.

Jasper came around behind Jake and learned down to catch my eye. "Hey buddy, how ya holding up?" I smiled weakly at him.

My heart started to pound loudly in my chest when Seth said, "Okay, are we ready to start?" I could feel my eyes well up and I had to try and control myself because any tremors would just make Seth's job all that much harder.

Jasper's hand found its way to my shoulder and he squeezed gently before I saw him sit down. Alice was behind him, her hands on the top of the chair. She must have brought it in for him. I closed my eyes and let Jasper and Jake's presence soothe me, and I breathed out a sigh of relief. I felt a small smile take over my lips and my eyes popped open to see all three of them staring at me with gentle smiles.

"I'm ready." I squeaked out, still trying to overcome my fear, but having my family there made it that much easier. I would never have been able to do this without them, and I should have realized that before I even booked the appointment.

Alice moved around to the front of the table with a chair in her hand and placed it down before sitting, and then started to run her fingers through my hair like she always did when I was nervous or scared. And in that moment in time, Jake's hand in mine, Jasper's on my shoulder and Alice stroking my hair, I felt completely safe and secure.

Until the gun started up.

I jumped slightly and squeezed Jake's hand in a death grip that caused a grimace to cross his face. He covered it quickly, but not quick enough and I frowned at causing him pain. I tried with all my might to soften my grip, but I just couldn't. The needle was tracing over my skin and I felt the pain course through me.

The pain wasn't from Seth; it was from long ago memories of Sam's haphazard work. My mind was having a hard time with the sound; it meant pain to me in the past, and at that moment all I could feel was Sam digging the needle into my back and his words echoing through my mind, followed by the mirror smashing over my head.

A loud scream ripped through me and echoed off the walls of the shop. Seth pulled the gun from my skin and shut it off, and it sounded like he was gasping for air. Jake, Jasper and Alice were all standing, their positions defensive as if they were trying to protect me from my memories. Their hands were rubbing soothingly across any patch of skin they could find.

"What did I do?" Seth asked. I could hear the anguish in his voice. "Did I hurt him? Oh God, tell me I didn't hurt him?" Poor Seth sounded devastated, and I looked toward Jake, my mind coming back to the present at the sound of Seth's voice.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry," I kept repeating until I was pulled up into Jake's arms.

"It's okay, baby, you don't have to do this. We can stop now, okay?" I shook my head, knowing that if I stopped now I would never have the nerve to come back and get this done. It was now or never, and I was just going to have to work my way through it.

"What happened?" I heard Seth whisper.

"Sam...I...flashback...Jake...please..." I managed to get out before I buried my head into Jake's chest.

"Do you want me to tell him?" Jake asked and I nodded into his chest. I listened as Jake filled in Seth on how I had acquired the old tattoo and Seth gasped in horror as he listened to what had happened to me.

"Maybe we should just stop for today?" Seth asked. But I shook my head and took some deep cleansing breaths.

"No, I'm ready, just give me a second," I said as I clung tighter to Jake, "It has to be now, or I won't...please, I will be okay, just..." I cut off not sure what else to say.

"How about we take it bit by bit, I can stay as long as you need me to. I will cancel all my other customers, lock up the shop so we aren't disturbed, and we can take it one step at a time."

I breathed out a sigh of relief at Seth's kindness, and Jake buried his face in my hair. I felt his lips move as he said, "Thank you, Seth, we really appreciate this."

"Of course, Jake."

I pulled Jake to me tighter and grabbed hold of his hair, pulling his face to mine for a kiss, drawing courage from him, and then pulled back and jumped back onto the table to try again.

This was going to be a long day.