Little bit of a different format today going to start with some backstory done via a flashback. From now on flashbacks will be done in italics and often at the beginning. Also there were some questions wondering why Santana and Brittany are apart and I assure you it's for a good reason. Right so this is the 'Merry Snixxmas chapter' it's a bit fluffy sure but there's lots of Sugar goodness. Also a bit rushed because I have a Christmas work dinner to get to but wanted to update quickly so, compromise I might throw another chapter up tonight.
The rain pours from the sky in a way that used to scare her, it looks like it is never going to stop and the earth is going to flood. It's the kind of rain where a person counts themselves lucky to see two feet in front of their eyes and morbidly it's a fitting setting for a cemetery. The headstones stretch as far as the eye can see but none of them are of any concern to a soaking wet woman as she stares placidly at a pair of grave markers. The plots are fresh they don't have headstones yet but Santana didn't need to see the names to know who they were. She's been here for over an hour and by now the harsh rain has worked the blood off of her hands and face. The chill from the exposure has reached her bones but she doesn't seem to notice any of it, she simply stands and stares at the ground unsure of where to begin. Hello doesn't seem to be a word she can say, there's no greeting for this kind of conversation so she doesn't quite know how to start.
It isn't getting any easier and so she simply comes out with the truth, she's been honest with these people before and it served her well. "I came to say goodbye…" she chokes at the words but fights back the emotion her eyes turning skyward closing for a moment as she gathers herself. "I wanted to tell you days ago, I got this call from that producer they want me to go to the studio…my very own album. I was going to tell you but when I got home the police were there and they told me what happened" her crumbling resolve shakes and she chokes out a muffled sob bringing her hand to cover her mouth and again she is forced to bite it back. "They said it was an accident but I didn't believe them then and when that man showed up, Silver I knew it was a lie for sure. He told me all the things you kept from me, that I had these powers; you knew I was never going to be normal but you never told me," She swallows and looks away again she isn't sure where she's going with this but she needs to tell someone. At least her secrets will be safe; this isn't the goodbye she wanted.
"He said that some hero died, in this big city and I was supposed to take his place, that somebody found out and they wanted me dead before I could even try, as though I'd even want any of this" she swings her arms open violently and lets them fall back to her side, she's too beaten inside to fight the world anymore. Her hands come up and slide over her face she can feel the warm tears mingling with the water that pours down her face. "I lied, I told him if he gave me my powers and told me who did it I'd go the city with him and we'd go through proper channels to make sure this fucking asshole paid for what he did. I took what he gave and I ran, and I hunted the bastard down and I killed him with my bare hands…I don't remember how I came too and I was covered in blood and he was dead" her voice becomes even and unfeeling as she recalls these memories; she can't feel anything about them yet. It didn't make her feel better the way she thought it should she just felt empty. There was no one left to blame but herself, it was her curse that brought this pain to her parents.
"I can't be anyone's hero" she begins again lifting her chin to stare out through the rain trying to look anywhere but the small marking stones. "But I also can't stay, whatever I am, whatever I am supposed to be is dangerous. Someone wanted me gone bad enough to kill you for protecting me and I can't…" she brings her hands together tightly and pauses taking in a slow ragged breath. "I can't lose Brittany too…she's all I have left and I won't stay and let this happen to her…I can't protect her, I can't protect anyone and I won't be the reason she is hurt" she is vehement in these words, a solemn vow. She bends down and brings her fingers to her lips kissing them and then touches the markers one and then the other muttering something soft beneath her breath. These are the only goodbyes she will say, by the morning she will be gone and no one will really know why because she doesn't know how to explain. The Silver Arrow will clean up the mess she has made and she will take the out she is given for a new life, away from everything familiar, she doesn't want to remember what she doesn't have anymore.
Santana wakes with a violent start her body shooting up from the bed her eyes growing wide with sudden panic. It takes her a moment to get a hold of her surroundings and to realize she isn't back there anymore, it was a dream. They happen more often during the holiday season and only encourage Santana not to sleep, as though she really needed the help. She quietly curses the fact that the scum that creep in the shadows of the city weren't more active this evening. Her head collapses down into her hands as she groans with frustration, every part of her feels exhausted and wide awake at the same time. She knows she won't be getting back to sleep any time soon and yet is still compelled to flop lazily back against the pillows.
As though on cue however, her attention is snatched from ideas of sleep to her cellphone noisily buzzing on the night stand next to her head. A smile curls at the corner of her mouth as a familiar name flashes across the screen and she is quick to open the message.
Brittany: I can't sleep. You awake too? We should dance.
She stares in bemusement at the screen, not because the offer itself but because Brittany managed to text her only moments after she woke up in the middle of the night. She needs the distraction and texts back a response to meet her in twenty minutes at the studio before climbing slowly out of bed. Her body seems to go into auto pilot as she finds a pair of track pants and a tank top to where and takes a few seconds to freshen up.
The drive over is uneventful she drums her fingers on the steering wheel, it's almost four in the morning and the city is blissfully sleep. She encounters no traffic though still manages to arrive a bit later than she said she would. She hears the studio before she can even get out of the car, Brittany is nothing If not loud when it comes to midnight dance sessions. The stereo thumps proudly but in the heart of a commercial district at this hour she isn't exactly disturbing anyone. Walking across the front of the studio Santana's eyes stop looking where she's going and instead they stare through the large windows at the dancing woman. Her movements are easy and fluid and she dances like it's the easiest thing in the world to do. It's mesmerizing and Santana cannot pull her gaze away as she slips inside and leans against the entrance watching Brittany work. The evidence around the room suggests Brittany has been her long before she sent Santana the text message. Empty bottles of water near the stereo, a few snacks and a general look of disorganization as though she couldn't figure out what she wanted to do. A few yoga mats are strewn on the floor and a heavy sweater discarded near a laptop.
Brittany can feel the eyes on her and stops now facing Santana her head tilted sweetly to the side. She dances her way over and extends her hands expectantly completely confident of what will happen next. Santana grabs onto her hands and lets her body be pulled into the middle of the studio instantly finding the rhythm of the music. It feels like it has been forever since they've done this, the music is so loud they can sing along as loud as they want and just have fun. Dancing with Brittany is effortless for Santana but she is constantly holding back and watching where her hands touch Brittany trying to keep them friendly but old habits die hard and it's difficult to remember her place.
It isn't Santana's body that forgets first however and it's Brittany's hands touching her hips pulling them into hers. The song is you da one by Rhianna but Santana cannot hear the words; she can't hear anything anymore her eyes are staring straight forward into deep blue and she's lost. Her heart is pounding loudly in her ears and she's forgetting how to breathe like it's the first time anyone has touched her. The song is merciful and ends allowing Santana a millisecond to pull away and she takes a few steps pulling at her loose tank top trying to remember what breathing feels like. Her skin is on fire and the straight shot of adrenaline into her core ensures she struggles to control her breathing.
Santana's only defense is to stop dancing because in a game without words she's losing and Brittany is deep inside her head. The music is turned down and Brittany doesn't let her escape as she walks over and lays down next to Santana. Her body is stretched out behind Santana and her head is resting next to Santana's folded legs. San doesn't have to look down to know that she's being stared at she can feel the penetrating gaze cutting through her. She sighs in exhaustion and pushes her legs out from under her lying down with her legs stretched out away from Brittany and her head next to hers. She doesn't look at her when she finally speaks, "what are we doing…" everything feels like it should but it's a dangerous game to start playing again.
Brittany lays in silence for a few moments her gaze never leaving Santana's face as she carefully considers the question, "dancing…I missed it. I don't like pretending that we can't be close anymore or that we're going to burst in flames if we touch" she answers finally her gaze steady on Santana's lips.
Santana exhales through her mouth nervously practically forcing the air out of her lungs and finally turns her head to look at Brittany painfully aware of how close they are laying. "You're with Mark and he might be a complete tool but…" she beings but trails off as Brittany pushes herself into a seated position twisting to face Santana.
"What if I don't want him? What if I know I don't want to marry him or I know I don't want to go to his parent's condo for Christmas? He isn't the one I want to be with San" Brittany demands her voice ringing clear over the music pinpricks of tears behind her eyes.
Santana is on her feet pushing her hands up into her hair with her eyes clamped shut trying to not scream. "I can't, we can't" she pleads looking at Brittany wanting them to go back to dancing pretending like nothing could touch them.
"Why not" Brittany's voice is soft this time and her confusion is genuine as she slowly stands up to face Santana.
"I'm dangerous to be around, people around me get hurt its bad enough that we even..." She begins but gets lost along the way as Brittany fires back before she can condemn their friendship entirely.
"I am strong, I can fight and take care of myself why won't you just let me show you" Brittany demands her slender fingers folding into tight fists.
Santana's heels dig in and without hesitation or warning she launches herself at Brittany tackling the blonde to the ground landing on top of her with one hand pressing her shoulder down and the other hovering in the air. From the palm of her hand bursts a ball of red energy it glows and crackles against the air, Santana holds it there for Brittany to see. She's beaten her easily and the blonde lays rigid on the ground her eyes growing wide. "You aren't ready and I'm not either. I can't even think straight around you I can barely breathe when you're close and I can't be distracted out there and I can't constantly be in fear that someone's going to figure out you mean everything to me. I have seen what they do and they will hurt you to hurt me and if I lose you" she begins to come unhinged. The words pour out and the energy disappears from her hand as she lets her hands both fall limply at her sides.
Brittany squirms beneath her to slowly sit up and wraps her arms around Santana's shoulders bringing her close before the tears that build in her dark eyes have a chance to fall. She knows she pushed too hard, she's more afraid of losing Santana than not truly having her and so she relents and just holds on to her. Santana's head falls against her neck and her shoulders gently shake as everything comes out, she doesn't get these moments of weakness very often.
Santana wants to believe she's crying because she's tired and that she's tired because lately sleep seems like a nice idea in theory but not something obtainable. The nightmares are bad enough but now she gets to deal with a suddenly defiant Brittany and a behemoth roaming the street looking to clip the veiled fairy's wings.
Sugar spins around in her chair, she goes around left for a while until the world starts to blur a little bit and then she spins around to the right for a while. It seems impractical from the most reasonable points of view but for her it's a perfectly acceptable way to solve problems. Mainly the little bit of information that has come across her desk. Santana often asks her to find things out for her and Sugar usually has the right connections and never has she questioned handing information over but this is different. This time she is sending Santana after the behemoth that almost killed her. It's been weeks since the incident and she's happy that Santana is back on her feet and out patrolling but she knows that look in her eye, it's the look she gets when she's looking for a fight. She becomes dizzy, too dizzy to stay in her chair and eventually her body flops off the chair onto the floor and she lays there for a while with her eyes clenched shut feeling the earth spin beneath her one way while her body feels like it's spinning the complete opposite way.
Staggering slowly to her feet she grabs the file and holds it against her chest, the boss lady would never forgive her if she hid this. She marches in a drunken stagger towards the elevator; it's a direct elevator from her 'Motta Lair' to the top floor. Inside she hums loudly drumming her fingers rapidly on the exterior of the file folder still not quite at ease with her decision. Britt Britt will be so angry with her, she practically begged her not to tell Santana where he was if she found out. She has to though, the beast is more than just a danger to the Veiled Fairy, if it got a hold of a regular person they would be lights out and not even Brittany would be able to save them. She's out of the elevator before the doors even have a chance to open fully and rushing down the hallway her small feet carrying her faster than is safe and she slams into the door heaving it open and stumbles inside swiftly kicking it shut. Santana can barely turn around to look at her from her position on the couch before Sugar is vaulting over it landing with her legs folded up like a child sitting at circle. The look of obvious irritation on Santana's face sparks a smile on her own as she thrusts the folder at the woman and then sits up straight and happy like an adored pet awaiting a reward.
She is forced to wait while Santana reads over the information and stares passively at the photos, when she's finished she smiles warmly at Sugar. It's a rare and candid moment that catches the hyper active girl off guard and she isn't sure quite how to react.
"Don't tell Brittany," Santana commands and she raises a hand in the air to silence Sugar before she can start to protest, "Sugar, you know as well as I do that it won't do good worrying her…now back down in your hidey hole and get the system up and running. No mistakes tonight" her voice is calm and confident and it feels like it's the first time Sugar has heard her sound so sure of herself in almost a week.
Sugar's eyes suddenly go the size of saucers and she reaches out grabbing at Santana's arm like a child about to be left behind, "no, you can't!" She demands suddenly terrified. She scrambles up to her knees still clinging tightly with her hands to Santana's arm while the woman stares at her like she's grown a second head. "Not alone, you need to call in the Silver Arrow he's gunna do extraction anyways and anyways Britt is supposed to be leaving on vacation this afternoon there will be nobody to heal you what if you get hurt" she rambles endlessly her words flying so quickly out of her mouth it's difficult for even Santana to keep up.
She catches enough to know what the tiny sugar addict is getting at and she's not impressed, her brow furrows as she pulls her arm from Sugar's attempted death grip. Standing she smiles confidently down at the scrawny girl, "well it's a damn good thing I don't plan on getting hurt, and if you call in the Silver asshole I swear I will go all Lima Heights on your ass, do not test me Sugar" she threatens with a sly smirk and then waves the girl off before going to change into the Veiled Fairy.
Sugar slinks off the couch slowly dragging her feet towards the door and stepping outside she heaves her body across the hall dramatically collapsing against the elevator, "what to do" she mutters under her breath before giving a mournful look towards the door. "Sorry boss lady…the cavalry is coming" she gives a determined nod, sticks her tongue out at the door and stalks off down the hall with her head held high despite the deep seeded fear of an impending beating looming over her head.
The Veiled Fairy leans out against the wind her eyes drifting closed as she takes in the moment before descent. There's a strange peaceful quality to her before her body begins to drop and she straightens out shooting downward towards the ground. Her eyes open watching the ground rush towards her and a confident smile creeps across her lips as they slowly part. The laughter coming from her is honest as she spreads her arms and straightens out her course landing on the rooftop of a nearby building. This is her favorite part of patrolling it's a moment of freedom, there's something about rushing towards the ground that gets her every time. Tonight however she needs the shot of adrenaline more than she's willing to admit and soon she's racing across the buildings. Her ability to fly is under developed, she can manage short flights and usually can use her voice to prolong them if needed but it's not something she's willing to test at length.
She detours from her chosen path and finds herself standing on the roof across from Brittany's dance studio. It's quiet and empty, on most nights she can see Brittany inside practicing or teaching a last minute 'emergency' class. But for once it's a ghost town and she bitterly nods her head and turns away. It's habit to make sure Brittany has a safe way home even if that means stalking from the shadows and taking out threats before Britt ever realizes she's in danger. Santana craves the knowledge that the woman is safe but tonight it isn't an option so she has to soldier on and pretend it doesn't eat her up inside to not know.
Protocol and precedence have been thrown out the window for every other aspect of the patrol however as the Veiled Fairy takes a straight shot towards the warehouse district. It's a cliché spot for any abomination to hide out but in a way that's what she likes about her less intelligent prey, they're predictable. Things will be different this time, the last encounter the behemoth got the drop on her and she was never able to find her footing. She spies the building Sugar pointed out earlier and can already hear the creature from her position.
The Veiled Fairy has learned a lot about fighting since she began in this city; an important lesson was to use her strengths to her advantage. Her body melts into the shadows they cover her entirely as she sneaks around the building looking for an opportune way inside. She finds it in an opened window, easily reached with a quick hop and to her luck her prey is so distracted with another toy it doesn't hear her. She drops silently into the warehouse blending in against the back wall to survey her surroundings, Sugar's report only detailed the exterior of the building, everything inside was a mystery until now.
The lighting is limited and this plays into Santana's hand, the beast is currently throwing around a low level thug from a local gang likely sent out to clear out the behemoth. It's a suicide errand and Santana almost feels bad for the thug…almost. She lets him get in a few more good shots before she comes in for the rescue. Her movements are quick and acrobatic as she moves across the floor and slides landing the heel of her boot directly into the back of the Behemoth's leg. She doesn't hesitate and easily kicks upwards landing another sharp blow to the other leg before getting to her feet. The sudden attack staggers the beast his knees buckle and with her opponent on his knees the Veiled Fairy doesn't hesitate she spins letting her foot connect with the side of the monster's head.
He howls as he topples sideways gripping his skull, his movements are slow and he didn't have time to react to any of the hits. To his surprise Santana lets him stagger to his feet and when he turns his eyes grow wide when he sees who it is. He pounds his fist into the side of his head grinning like a dog with a bone, "little doll came back to play, time to crush its spine" he calls confidently readying himself still. Santana offers a calm smile as she darts forward deliberate in her attack jumping towards him though never showing any signs of attack. The Behemoth takes this opportunity to catch her by the arm and to throw her into some deteriorated scaffolding. He grins with success until he realizes he doesn't know where she went.
As the beast approach Santana slips quietly to the side maneuvering around a large concrete pillar to get behind him as he begins to dig through the wrecked pile of metal where he was sure he saw her land. Without skipping a beat she is on him scaling his large body and wrapping her arms around his neck as though she intended to choke him out, but's it's not his neck she is after. Her lips linger around his ear and she pulls in a deep breath before unleashing a deadly shriek the pitch and energy behind the attack make the Behemoth drop like boulder screaming in pain as the blood drips from his ear. Its arm flails out catching her off guard and sending her stumbling back across the floor, she somersaults backwards to get to her feet and steadies herself.
The behemoth makes its way to its feet with all the grace of a drunkard, one hand clutched to its head which it shakes violently trying to clear the ringing agony. Santana moves slowly pulling a device similar to a cattle prod out from her belt and turns it on smiling as it buzzes with energy. The beast stomps its feet and charges headlong at the Veiled Fairy, she mirrors his actions running right at him. This time however she takes the low road sliding across the floor on her knees under thunderous legs. At the last second she jams the device skyward catching the Behemoth between the legs. She stands and delivers the final blow pressing the device to the massive neck of her prey. He shakes violently for a moment before landing on the ground unconscious but alive, a courtesy she doubted he would have shown her.
She takes a moment to catch her breath and put her toy away she brings her hands together cracking her knuckles before a voice crackles across the radio frequency into her ears. It's Sugar, "Sanny get out of there unless you want a reunion with big Silver" she pleads the guilt radiating across the airwaves into Santana's ear. Santana should be annoyed but somehow not having to secure the goon for transport is a relief she isn't in the mood for heavy lifting not after being thrown into scaffolding anyways. She's gone before they arrive leaving no trace of her ever being there except the damaged and unconscious heap on the concrete.
The rest of the patrol is uneventful and Santana is grateful to be making her way back to Motta Towers. She expects to find it dark and quiet like everything else but all of the lights are on in the penthouse. She approaches with more suspicion than caution and enters to find things rather different than when she first left. Brittany is standing in the kitchen with Sugar, they both have a glass of wine in their hands and they look quite proud of themselves. The apartment is completely decorated for Christmas complete with a tree and presents. Santana doesn't even own any decorations but she knows where all of it came from, the pretty blonde girl beaming brightly at her.
Santana sighs and removes the mask staring in exhausted disbelief at the two of them, "did it occur to you that I hadn't decorated for a reason" she inquires raising a brow. She removes her gloves and the heavy utility belt all the while watching Sugar shrink behind Brittany who is unabashedly proud of herself.
Brittany places the wine glass down on the counter top and marches easily across the apartment towards Santana, "yes, you have no Christmas spirit and I know why" her voice is gentle and a direct contrast to the intensity in her eyes. Sugar scrambles rapidly in the background scooping a handful of shortbread cookies into her eager hands before she makes a swift b-line towards the tree to sit and pretend to be busy. Santana doesn't notice she's lost in the blue eyes that are intensely bearing down upon her.
"You think Christmas is just for people with families, you don't think you deserve to be celebrating anymore but you're wrong. You have me and Sugar and we love you and your parents would want you to be happy" Brittany speaks confidently, she's the only person in the entire world who gets away with that kind of honesty about Santana's life with Santana. Her hands reach out and take Santana's holding them tightly in her own as she leans forward to place a kiss against her forehead. "Plus I made you cookies and I bought you a present so you can't say no" the logic is flawed and full of holes but she says it with such joyous conviction that Santana can only smile and laugh.
"You're supposed to be…" Santana begins to speak before Brittany swoops in and interrupts her suddenly.
"Right here, I know what you said at the studio. But I know that you're hurting and even if some things have changed I'm still your friend and that hasn't changed so get used to it because I'm not going anywhere and I'm not letting you run away anymore" Brittany explains before letting go of Santana's hands and pulling her tightly into a hug.
Santana's body melts easily against Brittany her arms wrapping tightly around the blonde girl feeling like she doesn't want to let go. She's tired of running and more than that she's exhausted by the effort of pretending she doesn't want things to go back the way they were before everything fell apart.