Warning: This story deals with domestic violence and the struggles to recover. If you have problems with this issue please don't read this.
Disclaimer: Ms Meyers owns Twilight and all its characters.
Big thanks to my Beta's Taloolah, dizzygirl28 and Beate73. You girls are awesome; I appreciate all the work you do for me, helping me make my stuff presentable. Love you guys.
Dream Catcher
Jake's POV
Making love to Edward had left me completely satisfied. The feeling of being buried inside him was intoxicating and more wonderful than I had ever dreamed.
When he made love to me, it was painful and utterly uncomfortable to begin with, but I was soon able to relax and enjoy the experience. It's not something I would want to do often, but for Edward, every now and then I could live with it.
The only thing I knew for certain was that I was definitely a top, and as much as I loved having my prostate stimulated, I was not a huge fan of a dick in my ass. I was completely grateful that Edward preferred to bottom and over the moon when he allowed me to make love to him last night and again this morning.
My day had started out beautifully. I had taken care of Edward and we were on our way to my dad's house. Edward was quiet next to me, his nerves almost a living entity in the car, surrounding us completely and putting me on edge a little. But I covered as best I could, chuckling every now and then when I thought about how much my dad would love Edward and how much Edward was worried over nothing.
Pulling up outside my dad's place and opening the door for Edward, I was a little surprised by his reaction, so I held him to me and licked his ear while telling him it would all be fine. And I thought it was until I watched his eyes sweep over the reservation, and then it dawned on me.
Edward used to live here with Sam. Oh, God, how could I be so stupid. I managed to get him to my dad's front door and picked him up, carrying him into the small living space and pleading with my dad to call Carlisle. I was internally kicking my own ass for being so stupid. How could I have not realized this?
Anything would have been better than this; meeting somewhere for lunch, having my dad come to our place - anything. Stupid Jake, really fucking stupid, I thought to myself while cradling Edward who had passed out and was muttering under his breath.
My dad's voice brought me out of my self flagellation, "Jake, Carlisle is on his way. He said he would bring Esme and is going to call Jasper and Alice as well." He moved closer to me and placed a hand on my shoulder as best he could from his position in his chair. "Son, is he going to be okay?" I could hear the concern laced in my dad's voice, and his eyes held sorrow as they looked over Edward who was continuing to mutter in his sleep.
"Shit, dad, he has been through so much lately. What, with Sam finding him and then Sam's death. Getting that awful tattoo Sam marked him with covered on his back. He was making strides, dad. We were working so hard, and he was really moving forward. He even started his 'remember to forget' routine, where we would replace his old nightmares with good memories." I took a deep breath and sighed, pulling Edward closer to me.
"Dad, the things he has been through… I don't even know all of them, but what I do know," I shook my head trying to dislodge the visuals and calm down enough to continue. "His body is a road map of scars, dad. Of memories that Sam left behind. How he survived that and still remains such a caring, tender and loving soul is beyond me. But dad, he is. He is so wonderful." I choked up on the last bit as Edward began to thrash slightly. I squeezed him tighter to me and he relaxed a fraction.
"He's lucky to have you, son." I shook my head at my dad's words.
"No, I'm lucky to have him. So damn lucky that he was able to accept me, even with my resemblance to Sam."
"Son, you may look similar to Sam, but that's where it ends. You are a good man; you are a kind, loving man and anyone would be lucky to have you." My dad smiled at me and patted me on the back just as someone knocked on the door.
My dad rolled away to open the door, and I heard Carlisle and my dad talking in low whispers as Esme poked her head around the corner.
"Oh, Edward." She moved over to us and knelt down, running her fingers through his hair. A small sob escaped her as she tried to get herself under control. I got up gently with Edward and then turned and placed him on the couch, covering him with a blanket and then pulled Esme to me.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't think. I should have realized that this place would be too much for him."
"Hush Jake, it's not your fault. Edward knew your dad lived out here and he didn't say anything either. I think you were both so wrapped up in the thoughts of Edward meeting your dad that neither of you thought about it. Don't blame yourself. Edward would be very upset if you did that, and then he would only start blaming himself. You get the idea, vicious circle and all that." She smiled slightly before looking back down at Edward.
Carlisle came into the room then and checked Edward's vitals, before turning to us, "he's fine, I guess it was just too much, with all he has been through..." Carlisle didn't get to finish because Edward started to scream. It was blood curdling, and it sent shivers down my spine.
"No more, please no more. Just kill me, I can't take anymore. Please Sam, no more." His voice was a broken whimper, as he thrashed about on the small couch. A part of my mind was worried he was going to fall off. Another scream ripped itself from him, and as Alice and Jasper bound into the room, Edward sat up.
He looked around, blinking frantically, his hand squeezing mine so tight I was losing circulation, before he realized where he was and that he had an audience. He whimpered slightly and threw himself into me, his face burying itself into my chest as he sobbed and berated himself for his behavior.
"Oh, God, shit, shit, shit. What a way to make a first impression, Edward. Stupid, stupid, stupid." I rubbed my hand up and down his back and tried to sooth him as best I could as he tried to get himself under control.
"It's okay, baby. Shh, I've got you. I'm so sorry, Edward. I should have realized." He squeezed me tighter still in response to my apology and shook his head slightly against my chest.
"No, Jake. I was just so damn happy with all the progress we made and with, well, you know, that it didn't even occur to me. I was so stupid..."
"I guess we both got too wrapped up in each other to remember anything." He chuckled slightly at my comment, and I kissed the top of his head.
"I'm sorry, Jake. I wanted this to go so well, and now look, your dad is going to think I'm a huge freak." he whimpered, shaking slightly. I turned my head at the sound of my dad's voice.
"I think no such thing, Edward. I've been looking forward to meeting the man that has my Jacob smiling so much. It is a pleasure to meet you." Edward had pulled back from me and was looking at my father, his face slowly breaking out into a small, shy grin at my dad's words.
"T-thank y-you sir," Edward managed to stutter out, causing my dad to chuckle slightly at the term sir.
"Please, son, call me Billy. After all, you are going to be my son-in-law one day, and by then, I hope you will be comfortable enough to call me dad." My dad smiled at Edward, causing a huge smile to take its place on Edward's face as well.
"One step at a time, Billy," Esme smiled at him, "After all, it took him five years to call me mom." Edward looked down sheepishly, while my dad chuckled along with Esme.
"How about we go get some drinks for everyone?" Esme said. Billy agreed and led Carlisle and Esme to the kitchen, while Jasper and Alice moved closer to us. Jasper placed a hand on Edward's shoulder, causing Edward to look at him.
"How you doing, buddy?" Jasper asked and Edward just sighed.
"I sure made a mess of this, Jazz."
"No you didn't, buddy. Considering where we are, I think you did really well." Jasper smiled at Edward, trying to eliminate his anxiety, but it wasn't working so well. At least, it wasn't until Alice spoke up.
"Edward do you remember how I first met Jasper's parents?" Edward turned to her and scrunched his eyebrows together, and then he burst out laughing.
"Oh, God, Alice," he chuckled out, "You and Jasper were..." Jasper clamped his hand over Edward's mouth, causing everyone to laugh out loud. I remember hearing this story about a year after I had started working with Jasper. They had invited Jasper's parents over for dinner, and Jasper had left the door unlocked. I guess they were too busy to hear his parents knock, and Alice was mortified when his mother and father cleared their throats at the sight of Alice and Jasper going at it on the sofa.
Talk about mortifying.
"You see, Edward," Alice said, "There are more embarrassing ways to meet the folks of your boyfriend." Trust Alice to know the right thing to say.
"Thank you Alice," I said giving her a one armed hug, since my other was firmly around Edward.
"You're welcome," Alice beamed.
"Well, now that we have relived one of my most mortifying moments, are you feeling better now Edward?" Jasper asked, his face still tinged a slight pink.
"I think I am, Jazz. Thanks Alice. God, Jake, could you imagine..?" Edward was still laughing at the thought.
"Okay, okay, let's just drop it now shall we," Jasper said, blushing even more. Edward became quiet when the others came back into the room, and his grip tightened on me. He was still smiling, but his nerves were back. He cleared his throat and looked at me before turning back to face my father.
"I'm sorry about that, Mr...um...Billy. I hope you can forgive my outburst," Edward's voice was soft, but he looked my father in the eye the whole time. I was really proud of him for that, but I didn't see any reason for him to apologize. It seemed my dad agreed with me.
"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for Edward. So how about we put the whole thing behind us and get to know one another? I feel like I know you already just by how much Jake talks about you. Once he starts, you can't get him to shut up." My dad smiled widely at Edward and me, the humor shining in his eyes.
"Thanks for that, dad." I said, pushing my nose into Edward's hair.
"Just keeping it real, son." That caused Edward to laugh and everyone else followed suit.
We had lunch and the others left not long after, so we spent the rest of the day with my dad, allowing him and Edward to get to know each other better. They really did get along famously, and at one point I was half convinced my dad wanted to trade me in for Edward.
"No need," my dad responded, "I get to keep Edward anyway, since you are marrying him. Two for one, it's a good deal if you ask me. I'm even more over the moon he is going to become a Black, makes him all the more part of the family." Edward beamed at that, he was so happy my dad had accepted him.
We were getting ready to leave and my dad told us to wait a second, he left the room and then came back with the dream catcher my grandfather had made. It was an important piece of Black family history and I was shocked when my father handed it over to Edward.
"Son, I want you to keep this. It chases bad dreams away and brings good luck to the owner. My father made it for me when I was a child, and I used it for Jake when he was younger. Now I want you to have it so that one day you can pass it down to your children, if you decide to have them." What Edward did next shocked us both; he leaned down and wrapped his arms around my father.
"Thank you, Billy. You have no idea how much this means to me," he said. My father had tears in his eyes and tried to wipe them away without us noticing. He failed miserably.
"I'm sorry for everything you had to suffer, Edward, and I'm even sorrier it was a member of my family that caused you so much pain. I'm just glad that you can see past that and see my son for the wonderful man he is. Welcome to the family, Edward." Again Edward wrapped my father into a hug and this time both of them were sobbing openly. My dad's eyes were full of sorrow for all Edward had endured and pride that he had survived.
"Thank you so much. For everything." Edward said, his eyes seeking out mine. We said our goodbyes and made arrangements to spend more time with my dad at our place, just to make things easier on Edward. He'd calmed down during the day, but as we made our way to the car, he started to shake again.
My dad gave me a knowing look as he sat in the doorway watching us leave. I wrapped my arms around Edward and told him not to look, so he kept his head buried in my chest as I lead him to the car and got him inside it. He kept his head down the whole way until we made it out onto the highway, and then he sighed in relief.
He was silent for a long time, and it wasn't until I was pulling up outside the apartment that he started to speak, "I really enjoyed meeting your dad, Jake. I can't wait to spend more time with him." He was playing with the dream catcher, running the feathers between his fingers. A small smile played on his lips. "Children," he breathed out in a whisper causing my heart to soar.
"You want to have children some day, Edward?" I asked, knowing full well that I really did want to start a family with him. He looked at me for a second, scanning my face before dropping his eyes back to the dream catcher in his hand.
"Yes, I really would, but I'm a little afraid. What if I'm a terrible father? What if I have a panic attack and something happens to them? I really want to be a parent, but I don't know if I can be." He sighed and a tear rolled down his cheek. I parked the car and climbed out, moving around to his side and opening the door for him.
Pulling him into my arms, I held him tightly and kissed his head. "The reason you would make a great father, Edward, is because you worry about these things. Besides, we have plenty of time, and you are doing so well. Look at all you have accomplished in such a short time." He sighed and pulled back to look at me.
"Jake, it's you. You have to know that. For five years I lived in limbo, afraid of getting out in the world, but then you came along, and in a few short months, you changed my life. You gave me hope and love, and you showed me what it's like to live again. I think I can face anything with you by my side." I swallowed the lump in my throat and pulled him to me, kissing him with everything I had.
It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me, and it meant all the more because it came from the man I loved. The man who loved me.
We somehow made our way to the front door and broke apart long enough to open it, only to reconnect once I had closed and locked the door. Moving through the apartment towards the bedroom, we bumped into walls and furniture along the way, leaving a trail of clothing behind us.
"I love you so much, Edward," I said when he removed his lips from mine and started to lavish attention on my neck.
"I love you too, Jake. More than words can say." His legs hit the back of the bed, and I removed his final piece of clothing before letting him tumble onto the mattress. Removing my boxers, I climbed over the top of him and recaptured his lips. We kissed for what seemed like a lifetime before Edward pulled back from me, taking my face in his hands and looking me dead in the eye.
"Jake, love, fuck me." My stomach dropped as butterflies took flight. We had only made love twice, and I was nervous as hell about that, so to have him ask me to fuck him… Yeah, I was terrified.
"Are you sure, baby? I mean..." I couldn't finish. I had no idea what to say.
"I'm sure, Jake," Edward said, and then he pushed me up, turning over onto his hands and knees and presenting his beautiful ass to me while smiling coyly over his shoulder. My breathing hitched at the sight of him - his tattoo standing out against his alabaster skin, his wild hair in disarray, and his eyes, so dark with lust that it was hard to breath.
I leaned down and kissed his tattoo before running my tongue over it, causing Edward to moan. It was an intoxicating sound, raw and primal. Not like the sounds he was making when we made love. Those were sweet and serene.
I moved down his body, running my tongue over his ass into his crack, searching out his entrance. My hands caressed his cheeks before pulling them apart for me so I could dive in. I ran my tongue around the outside before pushing it inside him. He moaned, a slight growl coming from his chest, and he pushed his ass forcefully back into my face.
I smiled around him, my tongue flicking inside of him before pulling out and repeating the process.
"Oh, God, Jake, I love it when you fuck my ass with your tongue." Just hearing Edward talk like that - my sweet, shy boy talking so dirty - I moaned loudly and almost came on the spot. I pulled away from him and he whimpered at the loss.
"Fuck, Edward, I almost came hearing you talk like that." He turned his head to look at me over his shoulder and I saw the beautiful flush of his cheeks which told me he was embarrassed by his own mouth, and I realized that's probably why he wanted to be facing away from me. I chuckled at the look on his face before diving back in to where I had left off.
Edward moaned loudly as my tongue penetrated him again and again, my hands pulling his ass cheeks apart as wide as I could to give me better access. My eyes were closed as I lost myself in the bliss of him, but then snapped open at the sounds of Edward's voice.
"Oh, fuck… Jake, can't hold on...shit...coming..." He shuddered and clenched around my tongue as I continued to move it in and out of his beautiful ass. The sounds he was making were guttural, and his head was thrashing back and forward causing his ass to shake. Eventually he collapsed onto his stomach, panting heavily, and I crawled up the bed to him, wrapping him in my arms.
"Jake, that was amazing," Edward sighed breathlessly.
"Not as amazing as you, baby. What did you do with my shy Edward? Not that I'm complaining. I could get used to you talking like that," I chuckled as Edward ducked his head into my chest.
"I-I don't k-know, Jake. I just...you bring out things in me; feelings I never knew I had. You make me feel more confident, and you make me feel sexy." He burrowed deeper into my chest and I could feel the heat radiating from his face. I stroked his back and kissed his head, chuckling in his hair, all the tension of the day having faded from my body.
"I'm so happy I make you feel that way, baby, and I plan on continuing to make you feel that way for the rest of your life." He looked up at me, his beautiful smile taking over his face, transforming his features. "God, you are so beautiful," I said, leaning in to capture his lips. I felt his cock stir against my hip and moaned into his mouth.
"Jake?" He pulled away from me to look at me again, "Will you fuck me now?" His lips were quirked into a delicious smirk causing my cock to twitch almost violently, begging me to bury it inside of Edward's warmth.
"God, that's sexy, baby. I really could get used to you talking to me like that. How do you want it, baby? Tell me what you want and where you want me." I wanted him to keep talking like that because it was damn sexy, but most of all I wanted him to feel confident and strong.
Edward got a twinkle in his eye. It was a look I knew well - he was planning something. And to my surprise, he rolled me over and straddled my lap, then he leaned over me and reached for the drawer, pulling out the items we needed.
He leaned forward and prepared himself for me, causing my eyes to bug out of my head and my breathing to become so shallow that I thought I might pass out. He chuckled at the look on my face before sheathing me in the condom and lubing me up. Then he used one hand to balance himself on my shoulder as the other reached down between us and guided my cock to his entrance.
When he lowered himself onto me, his eyes staying connected to mine the whole time, I moaned loudly and nearly shot my load. "Fuck, Edward, baby, that is so fucking good." Once he got himself fully seated on me, he leaned forward and took my ear into his mouth before pulling back.
"Hold on love, I'm gonna take a ride," he whispered in my ear, his tone husky, and then he sat back, braced his hands on my shoulders and did just that. Hard and fucking fast.
I was madly reciting baseball stats, states and doing math equations in my head just to hold off from coming too quickly. He was killing me, and by the look on his face, he knew it. I reached down and stroked him, my pace quick and forceful, trying to get him to come quickly so I could let go. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold on much longer, no matter what I did. The sight of him, flushed and sweaty, riding me was too much.
Much to my disappointment, but also extreme satisfaction, I exploded inside of him before I could bring him to orgasm. Edward chuckled until I pulled him off of me and flipped him, taking him into my mouth and sucking him all the way down, swallowing around him. Three bobs up and down his shaft and he was gone, screaming out my name as he emptied himself down my throat.
After recovering, I got up and cleaned us both before tucking him to me and kissing him deeply, bathing in the love of my fiancé. "Guess I didn't end up fucking you, baby. I will have to rectify that later when I get movement back in my body." Edward chuckled at my statement and then ducked his head down before saying, "I look forward to it."
"Who knew that once we had sex you would become insatiable, Edward?" He looked up at me, his eyes swimming with amusement at my statement.
"Well, if you weren't so good at getting these reactions out of me, I wouldn't be so, what did you call it? Insatiable. So you have no one to blame but yourself." He tried to keep a serious face, but was failing miserably.
"Baby, I am secretly thanking every God known to man that I can get you to react that way." He smirked and laughed softly before snuggling back into me and yawning loudly. "Go to sleep, baby," I said running my hands through his hair and down his back.
"Night, Jake. I love you," his voice was a whisper, and he was sound asleep as soon as he finished his statement.
"I love you too, baby. Sleep well." And with that, I followed right behind him into dream land.
A/N: As you all know things will be pretty slow for the time being. I am moving and will be without my computer for a little while. Having to use my moms when I can until I get my internet hooked back up. So there wont be any updates for a couple weeks at the least. I hope this chapter will hold you all over till I can get more written and posted. Also one of my lovely beta's dizzygrl has been flat out with all the editing she has been doing lately, so it will be a nice break for her, not having my extra stuff for a while lol. Thank you all for reading and reviewing, I havent been able to reply to reviews lately, but I will get back to it as soon as I am settled. Please know I read and love them all.