AN: HELLO MY LOVELY FANS I JUST Received A REVIEW ON THIS STORY FROM ONE OF MY FANS. TO THIS FAN I APOLOGIZE THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED MORE Frequently ON THIS STORY BUT I DO HAVE OTHER STORIES, ALONG WITH TWO JOBS, SUMMER CLASSES, TRAVELING FROM Joliet to CHICAGO, ALONG WITH HELPING MY SISTER, WHO IS THE SINGLE MOTHER OF TWO SMALL CHILDREN, NOT TO ADD THAT I JUST ENDED A REALLY GOOD FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE. SO THANK YOU, TO THE PERSON THAT DOESN'T THINK I'M A REAL AUTHOR, FOR TAKING THE ONLY BIT OF HAPPINESS, FROM MAKING IT TO THE FINAL ROUND OF VOTING FOR THE TWILIGHT AWARDS, THAT I HAVE HAD IN A WHILE, THANK YOU FOR SPOILING MY JOY.
TO THIS PERSON THAT SENT ME THAT WONDERFUL REVIEW I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER AND IF NOT THEN PLEASE STOP READING MY WORK.
TO MY OTHER FAN, THIS IS FOR YOU; FOR BEING FAITHFUL AND SUPPORTIVE WHEN I NEEDED IT AND NOT SENDING, ME RUDE REVIEWS.
TO MY SUPPORTIVE FANS I THANK YOU
S m Neal
Only once the drugs are gone
That I feel like dying, I feel like dying
I am sitting on the clouds
I got smoke coming from my seat
I can play basketball with the moon
I got the whole world at my feet
Playin touch football on a Marijuana Street
Or in a marijuana field, you are so beneath my cleats
Get high, so high that I feel like lying
Down in a cigar, roll me up & smoke me cuz
(I feel like dying)
Only once the drugs are gone
i feel like dying
i feel like dying
Swimming laps around a bottle of Louis The 13
Jumping off of a mountain into a sea of Codeine
I'm at the top of the top but still I climb
And if I should ever fall the ground will then turn to wine
Pop, Pop, I feel like flying, then I feel like frying, then
(I feel like dying)
I DON NOT OWN TWILIGHT or the song, JUST THE OCCASIONAL FANTASY
Song for this chapter is "I feel like Dying" by Lil' Wayne
Bold for Edward's thoughts
Italics for Bella's journal
Its been two weeks since I began reading Bella's Journal while she sleeps. None of the members of my family know of my latest nightly task, while stay with Bella at night. Alice gives me a look now and then, but when I look in her mind I find nothing. Tonight was no different from my previous night, I sit in Bella's rocking chair, with crossed ankles and nosed deep in Bella's more recent entries
Dear me,
Its Saturday and I have nothing to do other than write in the my journal. Yesterday, Jacob wanted to take me to the movies but, I declined. Good girl I miss Jake but, I know Edward hates it when I'm with him. I don't think he minds me going to La Push so much as he knows I would be spending most of my time there with Jake. It's not that I don't want them to friends towards each other, its many things, 1 he is a young werewolf and he has little control and 2 he has A CRUSH ON MY GIRLFRIEND! I guess I have to get use to it. I just miss my best friend. I haven't had a best friend in such a long time. now I feel like a jackass.
I know I told Edward that before I moved to Forks that in high School I had no one; which is kind of true. She had a best friend back in Phoenix. I did have a best friend before then. It's my cousin Cassandra, she and I use to be so close, but than she and her witch of a mother moved away and we lost touch. Cassandra or Cassie as I liked to call her, was the person I could be myself with, with Cass I could act my one age.
I remember all are outing, and sleepovers; she's the only person I would actual enjoy going shopping with. (Forgive me Alice)Cass was the on that got me into the classics and romance novels. That was Cass for you, she always enjoyed a good love story.
Oh well, since I'm free tonight I was thinking of heading over to the Cullen house and visit with my second family. Oh she's speaking about my family. Its' weird that in such a short time that I've known them, they really are my family. I never thought that I would have a real family. I was always jealous of other kids, with their mothers picking them up from school, hell I was jealous of Michelle Tanner on Full House with all the family members she had. I use to watch that show with Alice and Emmet I like that Stamos guy. ( i think I'm spelling his name out right than i apologize) Don't get me wrong I love Renee but it was never a mother/ daughter relationship that we had, it was more of a best friend type of deal than that. Charlie is a great provider, but he wasn't there when I was six and afraid of the dark, he wasn't there for eighth grade graduation.
Speaking of graduation two more months and I'm done with High School, and if I want Carlisle will change me. GGGGGGGGGrrrrrrr However, I probably won't take him up on his offer, I want Edward to change me. He said he would, if I would marry him first. But I'm not ready for that, not yet. Maybe in a year or decade or so, but right now isn't a good time; we just got back together after six months apart. We need this time to get to know each other again, we both have changed and we just need more time before we try to take that plunge,
Until Tomorrow
Well that was a good read. I wonder why Bella never told me about her cousin, I wonder if Jasper find her. If they were so close why would moving away end such a great friendship. Maybe they had an argument and that's why they're know longer on speaking terms.
Closing the journal I placed it back in Bella's in it place before. Rising from the rocker, I climbed into bed with Bella. Tonight's read was not all a disappointment. It shed light on another side of Bella that already love. I do however, hope to read more of Bella's interesting fantasies.
I pulled her towards me, with Bella laying on her side with her head resting on my chest. While lightly stroking Bella's her I closed my eyes, imagining the Bella she was when she with her cousin. What she was like, and how she would be like.
Another AN: GUYZ I'M SORRY TO THOSE THAT READ MY OTHER AUTHOR NOTE, I WAS REALLY UPSET AND I DIDN'T MEAN TO YELL ( WELL TYPE). I'M THINKING OF CHANGING THE NAME OF THIS FAN FIC TO 'The Journal'
R&R