Authors' Note: Best Whovian pick up line: Would you like some fish fingers in that custard?
…That pretty much sums up this chapter.
Disclaimer: Still own nothing. Except for the custard. Yum, custard.
Inopportune Moments
Chapter 4: Oh, I Do Like Custard.
The Doctor was sitting on his swing, fixing some cable that controlled some wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey switch that he had a feeling was important for something, when he heard a loud crash from the kitchen.
He sat up suddenly and rose to his feet.
Doing what he did best, he ran to the kitchen.
"River? Was that you? Did you break my TARDIS?" he said, bursting through the kitchen door.
He was confronted with River, covered in thick gloop.
"It's not what it looks like, sweetie." she said, giving him a coy smile.
"Why, what does it look like?" asked the all-too innocent Doctor.
"Wait...is that custard?" he added, upon seeing the gloop was yellow and smelled delicious.
I just want to lick it all up, but that's wrong, he told himself. It's all over River. You don't lick custard off people, even if you are an ancient Time Lord.
"Yes, I know. It's your favourite dessert treat," River said, her voice thick with innuendo.
She was still smiling coyly, and her eyes had a strange look in them that the Doctor couldn't quite pick out.
"Well, yes, River, I do like custard, in fact, I love custard. But, only with a fish finger or two in it." said the Doctor, raising his eyebrows like a confused puppy.
He still doesn't get it. thought River. Looks like I'm going to have to spell it out.
She moved towards him so that the space between them was mere centimetres.
"I'm sure we can see to that, sweetie."
"River, I'm not sure what you -"
He was cut off by River's custardy lips capturing his own. Not to mention the delicious taste of custard on her tongue.
One of River's hands weaved into his beautiful hair, while the other threw the sonic screwdriver in his hand to the ground, allowing him to gently caress her waist.
Her free hand went to pull off his jacket but the Doctor stopped it and brought River's long fingers up to his mouth.
River pulled away in surprise and was greeted by the Doctor's childish grin. His tongue darted out and gently traced over her hand, removing every last molecule of custard.
"Oh, I definitely do like custard with my dessert," said the Doctor, finally realising what River was getting at.
He pulled her close. Suddenly, custard held a new, delicious appeal to it.