AN: Wow it's been so long since I updated this, sorry about that. Lets just say life got in the way of writing and I really wanted to achieve more in this part than I did, but I think I'll have to leave that for the next part. I hope there are a few still reading this. Enjoy.
Bill stood in the emergency department of the hospital feeling useless and scared. There were doctors and nurses moving all around Margene, sticking her with needles, taking her blood, attaching her to monitors. She was so out of it she reacted little to their touch. She just kept muttering about hearing Nell but not being able to find her.
Finally a doctor walked over to him and spoke to him directly about what was happening. She was going to be admitted and moved to the ICU as soon as possible. They wouldn't know exactly what was wrong until all the tests came back but he was certain she had a severe infection which was spreading throughout her body. Her condition was serious and the doctor refused to say yes when Bill asked him directly if she'd be okay.
For hours Bill sat by Margie's bedside, waiting for the doctors to decide what they wanted to do. They were pumping her body full of antibiotics as well as medicine to bring her fever down and her blood pressure up but they couldn't decide if surgery would help. While he waited he prayed constantly, he begged heavenly father to show him his plan, to give him understanding, tell him why his family were suffering like they were. He didn't get the answers he wanted but he wasn't yet at the point where he'd start to question his faith, he needed his faith, he laid blessings on Margie and prayed for her recovery. He felt like he had done this to her, that he was responsible and he longed to take away her pain and make it better. She was sleeping now but he could tell it wasn't a peaceful sleep, there was pain on her face, and when she'd wake up it was in a state of panic.
Eventually the doctor returned to speak to him, they were going to take her up for surgery in a few minutes. It had been decided that removing as much infected tissue as possible would give her the best chance of recovery. Bill stayed with her until they wheeled her away. As she left the room the doctor spoke to him again, he told him the surgery was going to take several hours and he should go home, get some sleep, maybe shower, Bill nodded and walked out the hospital. He was glad to leave; he didn't like sitting there when there was nothing he could do.
-8-8-8-
Ben lay on his back staring at the ceiling, he'd been woken when the ambulance had arrived and he couldn't go back to sleep. He knew Margie was really sick and he couldn't help kicking himself for letting her leave the hospital that day. He felt like he should have stopped her but who was he to argue with the doctor. From beneath him he heard the front door open and close, he heard footsteps in the kitchen. He wondered who was there and pulled himself out of bed.
Halfway down the stairs he saw who was making the noise, his father stood there gulping down a glass of water.
"Dad what are you doing home?" he asked as soon as he was close enough.
His father jumped spilling some of the water, "Ben, I didn't think anyone would be up."
"I couldn't sleep," he said moving the rest of the way down the stairs. "What are you doing home?"
His father looked back at him like it was a strange question to ask. "I came home to get some sleep." He told him.
"What about Margie?" He didn't understand how his father could have left the hospital. "You left her there alone?"
"No," his father's voice got stern. "She's got doctors and nurses with her. She's in surgery the doctor said it was going to take a while."
"So you came home?"
"Yes."
"Leaving her there alone?"
"No." Bill didn't understand what his son's problem was. "She's being taken care of Ben."
Ben ran his hands through his hair in frustration, his dad didn't understand, she couldn't be alone, that was how this all happened in the first place. "She can't be alone," he almost yelled before he turned around and walked back up the stairs. He went to his bedroom pulled on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and grabbed his wallet. His father was still standing in the kitchen when he came back down.
"Ben where are you going?" He asked him.
"The hospital." He replied and he walked straight out the door.
Bill shook his head but he didn't go after his son. The night had been long and stressful, he was exhausted, he needed to get some sleep so he could be there for the hard stuff. While Margie was in surgery all he could do was wait. He put his glass down on the bench and walked up the stairs to his bedroom.
Barb lay asleep on her side; her arms were wrapped loosely around Aaron and Lester. He smiled at the picture and quickly changed; he crawled into the bed beside Barb and wrapped his arm around her. She woke at his touch and turned her head to look at him.
"How's Margie?" She asked.
"Not good," he whispered shaking his head. "She's in surgery; we've got to go back in a few hours." Then he lent down, kissed her softly and added. "I'm going to try and get some sleep. It's going to be a long day."
-8-8-8-
Long day was an understatement, the day wasn't just long it was onerous, Bill only slept for a couple of hours before he pulled himself out of bed, showered and then gathered his family in Barb's family room. He'd been thinking about what Ben had said to him, what his wives had been saying to him for days. He wasn't being the leader his family needed, he'd been absent because he didn't want to face them and the situation they were in head on. He'd been taking the easy route, focusing on the one thing he thought he could change, but looking for Nell was futile, the police and the FBI were in a much better position to do that, he needed to be home, he needed to be with his family. He gazed at his family huddling together on the large sofa; they were all still in their pyjamas and looked half asleep.
"Where's Margene?" Cara-Lyn asked noticing the absence of the mother she'd always treated more like a sister.
"She had to go back to the hospital." Bill told her and that began the discussion he should have had with his family days ago. It had been almost a week since their world had been torn apart, they couldn't keep pretending it wasn't happening, denying their reality. He explained to the children that their mom was very sick and would need to stay at the hospital for a while so she could get better. They asked when she'd be home, he had to tell them he didn't know, and then they asked him if they could visit her. He told them yes even though Barb and Nikki had agreed before it would be best to keep the children away from the hospital, he was certain Margie would need her children if she was going to get better. Aaron asked when Nell was coming home, he said he missed her. Bill gulped and phrased his answer as best he could; he didn't have anything better than "I don't know". He told them the police were looking for the people who took her but they hadn't found them yet. The younger children seemed satisfied with his answer but the older children could hear what his words weren't saying. It had been almost a week since she'd been taken, the chance of them finding her were slipping by the day. After he'd finished talking and all their questions had been asked he told the kids he was going to go to the hospital with Barb that they needed to be good for Nikki and he'd find out when they could go visit.
-8-8-8-
When Bill and Barb arrived at the hospital Margene had only just come out of surgery. Ben had just sat down in her room and the doctor was walking out. In the corridor they stopped and talked. The surgery had gone well, they'd achieved what they needed to but it would be sometime before they'd know if it was enough. Her test results had come back and the infection was in her blood. They were pumping her full of antibiotics to treat it but it wasn't going to be a quick fix, she had a fight on her hands. She was going to need lots of rest and lots of support to get her through this. Bill thanked the doctor and walked into the room. He gave his son a nod but didn't say anything; he walked straight to Margie and very gently brushed her hair away from the side of her face.
"Don't wake her," Ben told him but he didn't say anything back, he knew not to wake her, he wasn't going to wake her, he just wanted to touch her. He bent down and kissed her very softly by the temple, and then he whispered to her the words he wanted to be true more than anything.
"Everything will be okay."
Everything will be okay, Bill's words permeated into Margene's dream and they were so. In her dream everything was okay. Bill was with her, holding her and they were watching the children play.
She let out a soft moan and Bill stepped away. He pulled up a chair next to her bed and so began his first day of bedside vigil. He found the process frustrating he didn't like just sitting there. He felt like he wasn't doing anything to help but his family assured him he was, it was important he was there for the moments when Margie woke up. She slept most of the time but every few hours she'd come to. Sometimes it was a slow gradual thing, she'd moan, begin to fidget and then when Bill would reach out and touch her, say her name she'd open her eyes. Sometimes she'd say his name, other times she'd just look at him and almost smile, he'd talk to her, touch her, she didn't say much back and she'd quickly drift back to sleep. Other times she'd wake up suddenly, the difference between her reality and dreams blurred, she'd be in a state of panic and terror, she'd try to climb out of bed and fight anyone who tried to touch her. Those times Bill would hold her tight, talk her out of the panic she was in, bring her back to reality. When she'd finally come to, snap out of her nightmare induced terror she'd fold into his arms and cry herself back to sleep.
-8-8-8-
The days merged into a continuous blur, time was punctuated by the dimming of lights and the hospital meals which arrived like clockwork. Margie was never hungry, the food all tasted like cardboard but the threat of having a tube run through her nose was enough to make her slowly eat. She knew she needed the food to get better but she'd slipped into a depression so deep she wasn't sure she wanted to. She missed her daughter terribly but more than that she felt like she'd failed her. She hadn't been able to protect her and now she was gone, letting herself go almost seemed like a good option. The thing which stopped her giving up completely was her boys. Two or three times a day someone would bring her boys to see her. They'd show her pictures they'd drawn or painted and then climb up on her bed and cuddle with her while they'd watch a movie. It was while her boys were with her that she felt her best but she still couldn't shake the sadness and despair which gripped her. She knew she wasn't getting better as fast as she should, she wasn't getting worse but her improvements were limited. She felt constantly tired and weak, she wasn't allowed out of bed but even if she was she didn't think she'd have the strength to take more than a few steps. The state of health she'd felt when she'd left the hospital against the doctor's wishes was long gone, this infection had hold of her and she couldn't shake it, it was like nothing she'd ever felt.
-8-8-8-
Barb and Nikki stood silently in the kitchen with Cara-Lyn, cutting up fruit for breakfast. Almost two weeks had past, Margie was still in the hospital and Nell was still missing. There was a constant uneasiness in the air, the worse case scenarios everyone had been thinking about were becoming closer to reality. It would be several weeks at the earliest before Margie would be home and if she didn't make significant improvements soon they were going to have to start considering long term problems she might have; and then there was Nell, every day she was gone the chance of finding her slipped more and more.
"Mama?" Cara-Lyn said breaking the silence. "What if the police don't find Nell? What's going to happen?"
Nikki and Barb both stopped working, for a moment they didn't look up and then they both turned to each other. Neither of them knew what to say, Cara-Lyn had asked the question they'd both been thinking but not wanted to say.
"They're going to find her," Nikki said still not wanting to put into words, describe, imagine what the family would be like any other way.
"But what if they don't?" Cara-Lyn, pushed the question, she wanted to talk about it. "I've been googling this stuff and –"
"Don't say it," Nikki cut her daughter off.
"But Mama,"
"Don't say it," Nikki said again, this time slower, clearer, the frantic tone was gone replaced almost by a threat.
Cara-Lyn looked to Barb, she wanted to talk about it but her other mother didn't seem to want to either.
"We'll work it out if it happens." Barb said trying to give a non answer; she didn't want to have this conversation not yet.
"When will that be?" Cara-Lyn asked, she thought it was already happening.
"Hopefully never," Barb replied and she turned away to pull some bowls out the cupboard. "Will you tell everyone breakfast is ready."