A/N As highly requested, here's a look at Bella's past. This conversation occurs sort of in a vacuum, sometime after they get home from the woods. I didn't want to set it as a smaller part of a chapter, I wanted it to stand alone, plus it was one of the outtakes voted on by you guys so it is phrased an outtake but very much part of their story, so I'm putting it here as well. It was published under Bite of Darkness: Taste Outtakes earlier but I wanted it here as well. Next chapter will pick up shortly after this one, so we do have a small interrupted amount of time in which Smugs and Bella were watching vampire shows and screwing like rabbits ;) Hope you like.

Taste Outtake, Bella's Past

EPOV

It's time. I don't care if she's ready or not, it's fucking time. She's sidestepped this over and over again but I can't live without knowing anymore. I have to know what the fuck I'm competing with; what fucking ghost is hanging over her head and keeping her from being truly mine. I'll go mad if I don't find out.

Look at her, sitting there, staring out the window, her mind God knows where. Is she thinking about him? Is she remembering what it felt like when he touched her? Does she compare us? Not that any insignificant human could ever hope to compare to me, but when you've only had one other experience, surely it enters your mind at some point, right? She doesn't think I'm like him, does she? I would never hurt her. She has to fucking know that.

"Bella?" She turned her head just slightly and sent me a half smile. Fuck, she was beautiful. I swore when I looked at her I could actually feel my heart start beating again. I was so fucking ridiculous. She was dressed simply in a blue t-shirt and jeans and I was acting like she was dressed to go to the fucking Oscars. The thought of Bella in one of those tight fitting gowns was enough to make Edward Junior wake up. Fuck, now was not the time.

I walked over to the window and ran my hand through her hair. She leaned into my touch and I felt like cheering in victory at that reaction. A couple of days ago, she would have smacked my hand away and accused me of trying to get her into bed; which admittedly I would have been. This time, though, I wasn't interested in sex. Well, not much anyway.

I slid into the window seat next to her and kept stroking her hair as she leaned her head on my left shoulder. Hmm, now that I was here, how the hell did I go about this? I couldn't just demand that she tell me about the guy who broke her heart. I had to be smooth. Fuck…I could be smooth. That was my middle fucking name.

"What are you looking at?"

She hummed and shrugged. Great, that was fucking helpful. Why the fuck couldn't I read her mind? The one person in the world I actually fucking wanted to hear and she was silent as a church mouse. Fucking ridiculous.

"Nothing, really. Just looking at the trees, thinking." Excellent, I could work with this.

"What, about?" I continued stroking her hair gently. She sighed and snuggled into my shoulder. This would be easier than I thought.

"Home. Washington, that is. It's so green there, trees are everywhere you look. I really like it here, because it reminds me of home." Her voice as impossibly sad and I felt guilty yet again. I'd managed to live a century without ever feeling bad about anything I'd done and yet I felt lifetimes worth of guilt over my decision to change her. Not that I regretted it. I'd do it again; I'd just do it differently if I could. Give her time to say goodbye, let her fall in love with me first…I was too fucking impulsive but once I found her I just couldn't let her go. She belonged with me.

She'd given me a bit of an opening and I was going to take it. "What else do you miss about home?"

"My dad." The answer was instantaneous and I reminded myself yet again that I needed to find a way for her to get her dad a message. Jenks would come up with something, or else.

"What about your friends from school?" See, I was fucking smooth as hell. That was a good segue.

She shrugged again. "Not really. There were a few girls I spent time with but we weren't that close. Once I came to New York, we lost touch. Usually on holidays I just spend time with my dad." Yes, Bella, I get it, you miss your father. I'll do something about that soon, I promise. But for now, we have more important things to discuss. Asshole. Fuck off. I'm busy and I do not need your input on this one, motherfucker. I have to know.

"What about boys?" Her body tensed and she started to lift her head from my shoulder but I held her there and continued to stroke her hair soothingly. Come on, Bella, talk to me.

"No." Her voice was rough and final. Well, too fucking bad. If we didn't discuss it, she couldn't get beyond it. And neither could I. That's fucking bullshit. She can get beyond it; she probably already has seeing as she let you fuck her countless times now. You're the one with the fucking hang up. So what if I fucking am? Don't I have the right to know what makes her hold back from me? I've told you what does, you jackass. You need to tell her how you feel and she'll let you in. Fuck off, I must know.

Do you even realize how ridiculous you are? You've fucked countless women and you can't get over the fact that she's given another guy a blow job? What would you have done if she wasn't a virgin? I don't know…it doesn't really matter since she was. Go the fuck away. I need to talk to her. Fine, dig your own grave, moron. One day I'll dig yours, I swear to fucking God.

"Baby…will you tell me, please?" She heaved a sigh and shook her head, burrowing into my chest as if she could hide away from me. A part of me wanted to drop it right then and there. I should fucking drop it and get over it. She was with me now. But he hurt her and he should be punished for that. I couldn't let it go, I just couldn't.

"Bella, you can't hold on to it forever. Whatever he did…I'll fix it, I swear."

She jerked her head up at that and leveled me with a heated glare. "Fix it? How in the hell do you think you can fix something that happened years ago? You can do a lot of things, Edward, but you can't go back in time and stop the teasing, the name calling, the utter humiliation I felt!" She was yelling and Edward Junior was being his usual inappropriate self, getting hard as hell and trying to escape my jeans to rub up against her. Horny fucking bastard. I couldn't blame him though; Bella was hot as hell when she got angry.

Still, her words penetrated my brain. Teasing, name calling…what did that motherfucker do to her? I stroked her cheek and she let me but she didn't stop glaring either. I swallowed the venom that welled up at the sight of her snapping eyes and tried to sooth her. "No, I can't go back in time. All I can do is try to help you forget. I don't ever want to hurt you like he did, but how can I know if I will if you don't tell me what happened?"

She laughed scornfully and my heart broke just a little bit at that sound coming from her beautiful lips. Bella should never sound so broken and bitter. He would pay, I swear to fucking God he would. But I couldn't tell her that, she'd just get all worked up about killing people again. Why couldn't she be normal, just for one fucking day?

"I can assure you it won't happen again. For one thing, you're not in high school and you don't have any friends to go and show pictures to."

Oh, fuck no. She did not say what I thought she said. Surely my Bella hadn't allowed some asshole to take pictures of her and show them to his friends. This was absolutely unacceptable. "What pictures? Jesus Christ, Bella, just tell me what happened!" I snarled and she blanched. The anger died out of her face and she looked completely shattered. See what you did, prick? Yes, I see. Go the fuck away.

I folded her back into my arms and she pressed her face into my neck, her shoulder shaking with silent sobs. For once the dick in my head was right; I had definitely fucked up by pushing this. It was my problem and I wasn't going to make her talk about it anymore. I could get over it on my own, probably.

"I'm sorry baby. I really thought it would be a good idea for you to talk it out. I'm a selfish asshole and I won't say another word about it." She sobbed for another minute or so before she pulled back and shook her head.

"You really want to know?"

Um, hadn't I made that pretty damn clear? "Yes, but not if it makes you unhappy."

She sighed and turned to look out the window again. I played with the ends of her hair and for once made myself wait quietly while she engaged in whatever internal debate she was having with herself.

"Okay, I'll tell you but you need to promise something first." Of course there were fucking conditions. Nothing could be simple with this girl.

"What do you want me to promise?"

She turned away from the window and looked right into my eyes, her lovely red ones boring into mine. "That you won't kill him when you hear what he did." Well, fuck. How dare she make me promise the one thing that I'd been dying to do since the first time I heard about him? Why couldn't she do the right damn thing just once?

I stared into those eyes and found myself saying the words I did not remotely want to say. "I promise I won't kill him." And I couldn't fucking lie to her, so he was going to get to live, no matter what heinous act he'd pulled that had hurt my woman. Alright…so he could live. That didn't mean I couldn't do something else. There were many ways to hurt a man, after all.

I was reasonably comforted by that idea so I was able to give Bella an encouraging smile when she continued to watch me. "Baby, I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to go kill him. He's still in Washington, isn't he?" It would be rather convenient if she'd followed him to New York, but that would be irritating as well so him being on the other side of the country was enough of an obstacle to assure that I didn't break my word, not right away anyway.

"Yes." She glanced back out the window. "He's at U-Dub along with a lot of my classmates." Good, I knew where to find him. Now I just needed a name. One little name and one story and I could go about avenging my woman.

"So what did he do to you?" I still did not believe the picture thing. Maybe she'd misspoken. Maybe I'd misheard. No way did Bella actually pose for anything…still, if he had anything that showed her body, anything that compromised her, he wouldn't have it after today. I would be damn sure of that.

She sighed and turned away from me. I fucking hated that and reached out to turn her but she stopped me with her words. "I can't look at you while I tell it. Please?"

That was probably for the best. I might not be able to hide my anger if it was as bad as I feared it was. Still I reached out and stroked her jaw. "Okay, why don't you turn sideways and face away from me? I'll rub your shoulders while you tell me." She was tense as hell and could use the massage anyway. Bella nodded and shifted between my legs facing the wall. I started rubbing the tight knots in her shoulders and finally, blessedly, she started to talk.

"I moved to Forks midway through my junior year, I think I told you that?" I gritted my teeth at the memory of her telling me that the night we met. Her selfish fucking mother, making Bella feel like she needed to pick up and leave her entire life so she could spend time with her new husband. I hated that woman.

"Yes, you told me." My voice was a little rough from my anger and Bella glanced over her shoulder at me. I smiled reassuringly and nodded for her to continue.

"Well I've always been shy." I nearly snorted. That was a fucking understatement and yet untrue at the same time. She was shy the first few moments we met but now she was anything but, unless I was telling her I wanted to eat her. She was such a mix of things…she constantly kept me guessing. "And it was hard for me being the new girl in such a small school. I got a lot of attention at first but when people found out I wasn't that interesting, I really faded into the background. I was happier that way though."

I clenched my teeth in irritation. My Bella should never be in the background. She was a shining example of all that was right in the world and people should have fucking appreciated her when they had the chance. "I made a few friends and I was pretty content. I loved getting to know my father better. I was fairly happy, or a good facsimile of it." I could make her happy…so happy she'd never have to wonder if she really was, like she was doing now.

I pressed my thumbs into her shoulder blades. "So what happened to change everything?"

She sighed and let her head fall forward, so I started rubbing her neck. She gave a soft whimper and I pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. She scooted back into me and Edward Junior rejoiced as her perfect ass was pressed up against him. Down boy, now is not the fucking time.

"Senior year. I was…well I was one of the smart kids. A nerd I guess. Happier buried in books than going to parties on the weekends. You know what I mean?" Of course my Bella was smart; she was too smart for those backwoods kids. It was no wonder they didn't appreciate her.

"After first quarter, my AP English teacher asked me about tutoring. One of the star basketball players was having trouble with his grades and several of his teachers wanted to get him help. They all thought of me and I agreed to it." Here it fucking was…some douche she'd been helping had taken advantage of her. The urge to crush him was overwhelming but I tried to temper it as I kept rubbing Bella's neck and shoulders. Keeping my hands on her should keep me calm. I hoped.

"So I agreed and we set it up so he'd come to my place after school. Dad worked odd hours so I was often alone anyway and I figured why not. Mike was…well, he was one of those All-American boys that never looked twice at me, or so I thought anyway. Blond hair, blue eyes…most of the girl's in school had a crush on him. He dated the prettiest girl in school on and off all four years I guess. They were off again when I started tutoring him." Mike…so I finally had a name. Her town and her school were rather tiny, she'd said, so a first name was all I needed. I smiled as I pressed another kiss to her shoulder. Mike was mine now.

"I'd never spoken to him before and there he was in my house, smiling and flirting and making me feel special…noticed I guess?" Her voice was very quiet now and I ran my hand down her arms and linked her fingers with mine to give her silent comfort. Her head rested against my shoulder and I could see that her eyes were closed as she told her story.

"You are special, Bella. And I noticed you right away." Her eyes opened briefly and met mine before she looked away again.

"You just wanted my blood."

How she could fucking dismiss herself like that was mystifying. It pissed me right the hell off. "Bella, I told you before and I'll tell you a million times if I have to, I wanted you. YOU. Not your blood. If I wanted that, I would have just killed you out on the street. I wouldn't have taken you home, played the piano for you, listened to you, kissed you, made love to you…changed you for God's sakes. I've never done that before. You know that. Please, baby, if you believe nothing else, believe that. To me, you are the most special woman in the world."

She smiled up at me and leaned her head toward mine. Catching her drift, I pressed my lips to hers and kissed her for several long minutes. She pulled away and faced forward again, but her thumbs traced circles on my hands where I held them.

"He flirted a lot and eventually he did little things, like touch my cheek, hold my hand, press his leg against mine…you know, the things guys do when they're interested?" I fought the urge to grip her hands tighter and kissed the top of her head. "One day he told me how he really liked me and he kissed me. After that, well, we didn't study overly much when he came over." My teeth ground together at that image, even though it was ridiculous to have wanted her never to have touched another male. I knew that, but it didn't stop me from hating it.

"He told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend and I was ecstatic. I thought I could go to his games and cheer for him, have him come kiss me in the stands after he won, go to dances and movies and dinner. You know, normal stuff." Normal stuff…I'd never given her any of the normal things either, unless you counted thousands of orgasms. Someday I'd make up for that. I swore it.

Her voice got quieter as she burrowed deeper into me. I tightened my arms around her, just showing her I was there and I wasn't leaving, like he obviously had. "But he said we couldn't really go out in public, that his break up with Emily was too recent and she was the jealous type and he didn't want her to come after me. I believed him because she was…well she was a bitch if I'm being honest." I chuckled and kissed the side of her head. I loved it when my Bella swore.

"I'm sure she was." And if she'd done anything to hurt Bella I would destroy her as well.

She sighed and squared her shoulders, as if gearing up for something big. I felt my own body getting tense as I waited for her to tell me the rest. "Eventually he wanted more than just kissing and touching under the clothes. I wasn't ready to have sex with him but he convinced me that I was sending him home every night with blue balls and causing him pain. He didn't flat out say that he'd leave me but he made sure to indicate that there were plenty of girls that would take care of his needs. I didn't like the thought of hurting him so I asked him what he wanted me to do. First, he taught me how to give him a hand job but then he said that wasn't satisfying enough and he wanted my mouth."

I was seeing nothing but red as I listened to her talk about how she'd been guilted into giving the bastard a blow job. Of course my Bella was too kind hearted, too good to see through his manipulations. She didn't understand horny teenage males. Her naiveté was both refreshing and disturbing.

"I was scared but I wanted to please him and I wanted to keep him. I'd never had a boyfriend before and I was too stupid to see that I didn't even have one then." Her voice was filled with bitterness and pain so I tried to shake off my anger and be supportive. It was fucking hard though. I wanted to run to Washington and go on a killing spree and we hadn't even gotten to the part where she got her heart broken yet.

"So, I gave him one, and then another and…well, you get the picture." Yes I did and I didn't fucking like it one bit. "That went on for a couple of weeks and I thought all was well. Mike's grades were better and I thought he loved me and I finally felt like I belonged somewhere and with someone."

"Did he tell you that he did?" I didn't know why, but the thought that he had said that, when I still hadn't, made me feel even angrier and something else I couldn't identify.

"No, which is why I was so stupid to think that he did. I just felt like he did, every time he kissed me and held me and told me I was his." His…as if she could ever belong to someone that didn't appreciate her. As if she could ever belong to anyone but me. He could never have loved her like I did. He didn't deserve her.

"Did you love him?" Even saying the words felt wrong and made me want to go on an even bigger killing spree. If she'd loved him and he hurt her knowing that, then all bets were off and he was going to die. I didn't care if I did break a promise.

She shrugged. "I thought I did, the way you do when you're eighteen and in your first relationship. I wouldn't have done that if I hadn't. In retrospect? No, I was in love with the idea of him. I clearly didn't know him at all."

I could live with that. She'd been young and naïve and thought she was in love, she wasn't the first and she wouldn't be the last. I was the one she would love and I would love her back, forever. "So what happened?"

She held her breath for a minute and blew it out. "I went to school on what I thought was a normal Monday. I hadn't seen or talked to Mike since Thursday. That was the last time we'd done anything, you know?" Of course I fucking knew. I hated that I knew but I had to know for my own piece of mind. Damn me and my curiosity.

"I walked down the hallway and there was all this giggling and whispering. People were staring at me. I thought maybe I'd buttoned my shirt wrong or had toilet paper stuck to my shoe or something." Her voice broke and I hugged her tightly to me. I wished I could go and walk with her down that hallway, face whatever happened with her and scare the piss out of anyone that dared laugh at her.

"I walked to my locker to get my books for my first class and I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around and there was Tyler, one of Mike's friends on the basketball team, along with Eric and a couple of other popular guys. They were kind of surrounding me and I was trapped against my locker." Two new names to add to the list. I hadn't promised not to kill them and if they'd touched her…

"Tyler says to me, I didn't know we'd had your last name wrong all this time. I was really confused so I asked what he meant and he said he'd heard I had a different last name. I thought maybe he was talking about Phil's last name or something, but he wasn't." She paused and I squeezed her fingers in support.

"He said I was going by the wrong bird name." I had a bad fucking feeling I knew what she was about to say. "Instead of Bella Swan, I should be called Bella Swallows." Her voice broke and her shoulders hunched in shame. Fuck! White hot rage flowed through me and I fought my damndest to keep from yanking my hands away from hers and rampaging through the house breaking shit. I wanted to in the worst way. I was grateful she couldn't see my face because I didn't know what she would see there but I doubt I looked remotely calm.

"Then he held out his cell phone and there was a picture of me with Mike's dick in my mouth. I didn't know he'd taken it, my eyes were down, but you could clearly see it was me. They all laughed and then Tyler grabbed my breasts and asked me out and Eric said he got the next night and it was just horrible and I started crying. Luckily a teacher came down the hall so they let me go and went on to class. I just ran out to the parking lot and went home. I tried calling Mike, wanting some kind of explanation but of course he didn't answer or call me back." Death was not good enough for what he deserved, taking pictures of my Bella without her knowledge and giving them to his friends. And they, well they would not get off scot free either. I had never wanted to kill more than I had at that moment, not even when I was a newborn overcome with bloodlust. Only years of self control had me reigning in my temper.

"I told my father I was sick and I stayed home for a few days but I could only go so long without returning. I went back on Thursday and there were Mike and Emily, strolling hand in hand down the hall. He wouldn't even look at me. And everyone called me Bella Swallows, from that day until graduation. I ate lunch in my car every day and didn't talk to anyone…even the few friends I had distanced themselves from me." Some friends; this is why people sucked and were better kept away from unless you were looking to dine on one. Her voice was almost robotic at this point, like she was trying to remove any emotion from her story. I hated that whole town and wondered if I could figure out a way to wipe it off the map without the Volturi noticing.

I fought back all the anger that was coursing through me and pressed kisses to her hair and her neck and shoulders. A big part of me wanted to tell her that I loved her and would never let anything hurt her but I didn't think now was the time for something like that. I didn't want her to think I was lying to make her feel better or I'd said it because I felt bad for making me tell her story, which I did. But I loved her too and it pissed me off that anyone could hurt her that way.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry that happened to you and maybe you don't want me to say it but I wish I could go back in time and make it all better for you. If there was a way, I would do it." I'd give everything I had to take that pain from her.

"Thank you, Edward." Her voice was quiet and she sounded almost tired. I held her for a few more minutes until she pulled away and turned to face me. "You were right you know."

This was a rarity, for Bella to say I was right about anything. "About what?"

"I'm glad I told you. I didn't like relieving it but it feels good to get it out. I've never told anyone that before, not even Alice and Rose."

I stroked her cheek and she leaned against my hand and smiled. "Thank you for trusting me with it. I swear to you, Bella, I will never, ever violate your trust like that." My voice was filled with a sincerity that I didn't have to fake for once. It was God's honest truth.

She smiled softly and kissed me. "I know. I need a little time to myself. I'm going to go see Willow." That was a relief; I didn't even have to come up with a way to get away from her for a few minutes to do what I had to do.

"Okay, baby, come back when you're ready." She kissed me again and then rose gracefully and walked out of the bedroom. I watched her run toward the pasture and the sight of her helped calm some of the anger that was eating me from the inside.

I grabbed my laptop and did a search for high schools in Forks, Washington. Of course there was only one. I grinned when I pulled up their website and found the yearbook section. Schools were ridiculously stupid about putting things like yearbooks on the web for all the world to access. I pulled up the class of 2006 and began looking at the seniors. The class was fairly small so there were probably only a handful of Mikes. I found a nerdy looking one who probably was not a star athlete so I flipped along and then there he was. Mike Newton. Blond, blue eyed, smiling like he owned the whole fucking world. He'd own nothing when I got done with him.

I pulled up the team then and saw Tyler Crowley and Eric Yorkie and the rest of the basketball team. All of them were worth checking into. If they had that photo of Bella then they would pay just as dearly as Mike would. I ran across the Senior Superlatives and there was the blond Ken doll again, in several pictures for best smile, handsomest, mostly likely to succeed, best couple. And there was Emily, black hair, black eyes, bitchy face…I could see that she'd clearly thought she ruled the entire world. She was nothing next to Bella, nothing.

Bella's picture took my breath away. Her big brown eyes looked so sad, her smile was barely there but she was just so fucking beautiful…how did they not see that? Did they honestly think this Emily, this dime a dozen beauty queen, could remotely compare to my Bella? She was all that was good in the world and they were too blind to see it. They deserved one another. And what was coming to them.

I hacked into the University of Washington, which was absurdly easy to get into, and looked at Michael Newton's grades. He was as subpar as he appeared to be, with B's and C's and the occasional D. It wasn't much of a stretch to believe that he could fail out of school. I promptly changed all his grades to F's. Using his social security number, I found his bank account and grimaced at the meager $6283 that was in his savings account. I redirected that money into a charity for women…it was the least Mike could for treating Bella the way he had.

So, failing out of school and penniless, a loser like Michael would surely turn to his family in his time of need. I couldn't be sure that they knew what an asshole their son was, so his parents needed to be handled as well. A little research led me to Newton's Outfitters, some camping store in Forks. They didn't have a lot of money but they were doing alright. Were being the key word, as their savings went to the same charity as their son's had. They couldn't remotely be able to trace where it went either, I bounced the money from place to place and hid it under blinds and shields. I was thrilled I'd taken the time to learn my way around computers over the years. It had served me well time and time again.

I pulled out my cell phone and hit speed dial one. "Hello, Mr. Cullen. What can I do for you today?" The terror was clear in his voice and it made me feel slightly better. Mike would never know me, at least not any time soon, and any pain I caused him would not be my pleasure to see. Still, I'd do what I could now and someday I'd go after him again. That would be fun.

"I need you to call Garrett and give him an important assignment."

"The PI? What would you like him to do?"

"I need him to break into the apartment of Mike Newton, 232 Ashland Avenue, Seattle. Apartment 42. I want him to take any information he finds that contains grades, search his computer and phones for any pictures of a pornographic nature and destroy them all. The same goes for Tyler Crowley at 325 Main Street, apartment 16 and Eric Yorkie at the same apartment." I hadn't hacked into their grades yet but if they still had that photo of Bella, they would get the same treatment that Mike had. And maybe I'd have Garrett kill them too; Bella hadn't mentioned them in her request for mercy, a fortuitous oversight.

"What? Sir, what could you possibly…"

"Are you questioning me again, Jenks? Haven't we fucking been over this?" This was not the time to push me.

"Yes sir. I'll get right on it." God, he was a pain in the ass. He'd better not question me ever again.

"I also need you to get me a phone, untraceable, something like what the CIA or FBI uses when they don't want anybody to be able to track their movements. Can you manage that, Jenks?" The threat in my voice was clear as day.

"Yes sir. Do you want it sent to the New Jersey house?"

"No, send it to New York. I'll get it when I go into town next." I didn't want deliveries coming here; I wanted us as isolated as possible.

"Okay, sir. Anything else I can do for you?" He was kissing ass now but I wasn't in the mood for it.

"No, I'll be in touch." I snapped my phone closed and walked back to the window. Bella was smiling and petting her stupid cow, looking carefree and happy, unlike her expression just minutes ago when she'd poured out her heart. I was going to see to it that she never looked like that again, and the first thing I could do was give her back her father, if only via phone call. I might not have said the words yet but she would know I loved her when I brought him back into her life. It was the least I could do; give her back her one good memory of that awful town.

She'd never know what else I had done to avenge her, but I would and it would be enough, for now.

A/N Kids are mean...Smugs is meaner :)