Taste of Innocence Chapter 20
Well holy fuck, that wasn't how that was supposed to fucking go. Forget all the romance, candlelight and flowers, dipshit. Just tell her you love her in the middle of an argument. I supposed it was oddly fitting for the two of us but I had no fucking clue what Bella was thinking as she was staring at me as if I'd just announced that her beloved fucking TV vampires were all coming over to join us for dinner.
A high pitched squeal penetrated my thoughts and I felt a smile move over my face. It was about fucking time she acted like a real girl getting her first declaration of love from the man they loved right back. Of course she was excited, of course she was astounded, of course she was…
Oh my God, you finally said it! My little boy is turning into a real man that admits his feelings! Oh happy day! Jesus fucking Christ, I thought you were my girl. Why in the hell are you screaming like a little bitch? Because you said it! Don't you know how momentous this is? I've been sitting in your head for almost a century waiting for someone to worm their way into your heart and you to actually open yourself up to it and you finally have. Aren't you excited?
I might get fucking excited if Bella would actually tell me she loves me instead of staring at me like that. What the fuck is her problem? Why can't she react? Give her time, you jackass. She's trying to process that a dipshit like you, who seemingly only loves himself, actually loves her. It's hard for a girl to wrap her head around.
You would know all about being a fucking girl, wouldn't you? Where the fuck were you when I was enduring the thoughts of that insipid motherfucker that wanted to take my girl away from me? Isn't it your job to fucking assist me during times like that? Insipid? I thought he was rather attractive, actually. I'm sure Bella did too. I fucking knew you were gay! Were you trying on ballet shoes while I was suffering through that barrage of thoughts you asshole? What good are you?
I am amazingly good. Look how far I've brought you in a matter of weeks! Oh, I wish they gave a Medal of Honor to inner voices, because I would surely win! Jesus Christ, could you stop patting your fucking self on the back and tell me what the fuck to do? She's not saying a word. What if she doesn't love me back? If she doesn't love me back and you made me tell her, I swear to God I will drive that fucking spike through my head, ruined looks or not. I don't need my fucking looks if Bella doesn't want me.
God you're a fucking drama queen. If she doesn't love you back now, you work to make her love you. You worked to make her like you, didn't you? To make her make love to you? You just show her every single day that you love her and in time, she'll love you right back. No woman could resist you if you actually fucking tried, do you know that?
Of course I fucking know that. No woman resists me when I don't even bother trying. Again, I am rolling my eyes. Okay, Cocky One, well where's that fucking confidence when it comes to Bella? Why do you act like you've never won a woman before?
Because she fucking matters, you douche! She means everything to me and if I lost her now…well fuck, I don't know what I'd do. I survived a shitload over my lifetime but I don't think I could deal with life without her. That makes me a whipped, pathetic, idiot. No, it makes you a man in love. And I'm proud of you, even if you don't think it was the right time. She needed to know, especially if your beloved ex is going to drop by. Bella has self esteem issues and facing Victoria without knowing how you truly feel about her would not help that.
Well, I have self esteem issues too and…stop fucking laughing at me, you asshole. You? Self esteem issues? Surely you jest! Well, not the same kind she does, but fuck, man, I am insecure when it comes to her and you know that. Try to stop being an asshole and tell me what the fuck to do!
You could actually attempt to speak to her and try to shake her out of her stupor and find out what she has to say so that you stop torturing yourself worrying about it. Go ahead, you bastard. You got the words out, now find out what it means for you. I'll be right here if, no…when, you need me.
Fucking prick. Still, he was right. Bella hadn't moved from her spot and I'd been talking to that retarded douche for God knew how long. It was time to see what my girl had to say…if she was even my girl.
"Bella?" She didn't respond so I reached out to touch her shoulder and her ruby eyes, which had been glazed over, focused on me. Thank fucking God; she was back with me at least. "Baby? Are you okay?"
She nodded mutely, staring at me as if she was trying to bore into my skull to see inside my brain and find out what I was thinking. Hadn't I just fucking told her though? "So, um…do you have anything to say in response to what I just said?" How fucking ridiculous was that question? Still, I wasn't about to say those words again unless she was going to respond in kind. A man could only take so much fucking humiliation.
"Yes," she said. Finally, a fucking word. But what the fuck did the word yes have to do with anything? Nothing, that's what. She had something to say to it but she wasn't saying it because she was Bella and she was crazy and annoying and I loved the fuck out of her. Why me?
"Yes. Care to elaborate?" I asked roughly. I really hoped she'd have something to fucking say beyond the word yes, unless of course I asked her to marry me and then she could say yes, not that I really wanted to get married, but if I had to in order to keep her I definitely fucking could. It would only take a day or two for Jenks to get ordained and I could have her name legally changed, then we could get married with her stupid cow as a fucking witness for all I cared, so long as she loved me back.
"What's a mate?"
What? I tell her I love her and she asks me what the fuck a mate is? Maybe I've lost my ability to hear properly from too many smacks at her tiny, beautiful hands. Surely she's not questioning me about vampirism right after I gave her my fucking heart. "What?"
Her eyes narrowed infinitesimally and I knew she was starting to get pissed at me again, which was fucking ridiculous because I'd said I love you and that should effectively stop a fight, not fucking start one. Of course, this was fucking Bella and she never made any god damn sense so why should she fucking start now?
Her hands went to her tiny waist and she stepped closer to me and tilted her head up to look me dead in the eye. "I asked you what a mate is. Demetri said I was your mate and you didn't argue with him. I agreed with you because I didn't want to question it at the time but now I want to know what that means."
Were my ears really fucking hearing this right? "Bella, you did hear what I said, didn't you? About why I didn't want you to meet Victoria?" She hissed at the name and it was really fucking hot. If she would just acknowledge what I fucking said and return the sentiment we could be rolling around this fucking wood floor in approximately five seconds. But no, she wanted to fucking talk shit to death. Of course she fucking did.
"Yes, I heard you. Now answer my question." She tapped her foot impatiently, like I was some ill-behaved fucking toddler instead of 108 years old. What the fuck?
Just answering her fucking question, you moron. I want to know where this is going! That's all you have to fucking say? That's your idea of fucking helping me? Are you munching on some fucking popcorn up there, enjoying the fucking show? Yes! Now answer her so we can find out where the hell she's going with this! It's really quite exciting, isn't it? You're a fucking asshole and I hate you more than Victoria and Demetri and the fucking Volturi combined. Yeah, yeah, answer her!
May as fucking well since she clearly wasn't about to tell me she fucking loved me. We could talk instead of making love. That sounded like just as much fun. Quit being a sarcastic dick and get on with it. Fuck you.
I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. "I don't know a fucking lot about it, since I've never had a mate before, but it's pretty much what it sounds like." Oh, that was fucking helpful. Fuck off.
She huffed and jabbed me with her pointer finger just as she'd done with Demetri. And yes, it was still hot as fuck. It was clear she'd always have this effect on me. "Explain what it sounds like then, you jerk!"
"Oh sure, I'm the fucking jerk. I tell you I love you and you ask me what a mate is. What the fuck does that make you?" Oh you idiot, you lost your temper and said exactly the wrong fucking thing. Have I taught you nothing? One step forward, five steps back with you always. I wash my hands of you!
Bella glared at me and before I fucking knew it, her fist was connecting with my face and a loud cracking sound rocked the living room. I grabbed my jaw, relieved to find it was still fucking attached. "Jesus, Bella, what the fuck?"
"I asked you a damn question. Now are you going to answer or should I go find Demetri and ask him?"
How dare she throw that motherfucker in my face? She knew exactly what the fuck she was doing. This girl could fucking work me like nobody else and I both hated and loved that fact.
"Fine! I'll fucking answer! A mate is like the person, or in this case, vampire, that you're meant to be with. Like a soul mate, if we have souls. How the fuck do I know? Some animals mate for life and apparently we're capable of it when we meet the vampire that we're supposed to be with."
She nodded, chewing on her lip. I wanted to tug it free from her teeth, or better yet kiss her, but I had a feeling I'd get bitten if I did either one. She was so fucking contrary.
"So, am I your mate like Demetri said?" How the fuck was I supposed to know? I'd never been around a mated pair before. She was mine and I was hers, wasn't that enough of a fucking answer for her?
"I don't know. I mean, I want to spend eternity with you, so I would say that you are, but how the fuck do I know? He says we are and he probably knows." Fucking Demetri and his fucking big mouth. Why did he even have to bring it up? I didn't feel the need to fucking label what we were.
She glared at me again. What the fuck had I done now? "Could you please stop using the word fuck when you're talking about your supposed fucking feelings for me?"
"Supposed fucking feelings? What the fuck do you mean, supposed? And I'll use the word fuck if I want to. It's a good fucking word."
She went for my gut this time but I dodged the blow, leaping over the couch and keeping it between us for the time being. I didn't need to both get my heart fucking crushed and my ass beaten in the same fucking moment, thank you very much.
"I mean, how do you know you love me? If we're mated or fated or whatever the hell it is, maybe you're just falling in line with destiny and you don't really love me at all."
What the ever living fuck was wrong with this girl? How did she take a simple concept, like having a mate, and turn it into some kind of life sentence that we had no say in? Seriously, she had to be mentally ill. When that Volturi fucker called, I was going to ask him if they had any vampire psychologists. She really fucking needed more help than I could clearly give her.
"Bella," I would try, really try, to be fucking patient with her and walk her through my goddamn feelings she apparently thought I had no fucking free will when it came to loving her. Then again, maybe I didn't. If it were up to me, I certainly wouldn't have fallen. Life would have been much fucking easier if I didn't love her.
Like hell it would. You'd be bored out of your skull and continue fucking and killing your way through life. You'd tell yourself you were content, even happy, but you wouldn't feel one hundredth of the happiness you feel when you even look at that girl. Stupid inner motherfucker was actually right but that didn't mean I had to like it or admit it. I could wish for simpler times even if I didn't really want them.
"Bella," I tried again as she watched me impatiently, her lips pursed. God I wanted to kiss her and then eat her alive. "You love your mate, so I don't understand what the problem is. If we are mated, I still love you. If we aren't mated, I love you anyway. What difference does it make?" Ha, I managed to get through that without using the word fucking once. She should be proud, but of course, she probably wouldn't fucking notice.
"But maybe you wouldn't love me if I weren't your mate. You could have any girl in the world, so why the hell would I be the one you loved?"
Oh Jesus Christ, this again? Really? More of her damn insecurities coming back to bite me on the ass. Maybe I would kill that motherfucker, Mike Newton, for all the damn trouble he was causing me in my own personal life. Asshole.
"So that's what this is about? You don't think you're worthy of my love? Or is it any love? What the fuck, Bella?" Oops, so much for not cursing. Well she couldn't reach me and I could outrun her if she tried.
"Of course I think I'm worthy of love. I just don't know why you love me; if you didn't have any choice in the matter, if you only love me because I'm your mate or if you actually love me love me!" She was back to the yelling and gesturing and I felt venom welling in my mouth at the sight of her even though at the same time I wanted to shake her and scream at her for being such a fucking idiot.
"Well, what the fuck more do I have to do, Bella? What the fuck kind of statement is that? If I love you, love you? What the fuck does that even mean?"
"You know what it means! It makes perfect sense!" She crossed her arms and her breasts went higher and I had to swallow venom again. Damn her for being so fucking delectable, especially when she was pissing me the fuck off.
This is fantastic, just so you know. Jesus, there you fucking are. Can you decipher what the fuck she's saying to me? I could use a little help here. Don't you think it's time you fucking contribute? Oh hell, I sort of get it but she doesn't make a lot of sense. Like that's fucking new. She's apparently worrying that you only love her because you have to because she's your mate. Not that you love her because you love her and all her weird little quirks and stuff. Fucking thank you! God, she's weird. How the hell could she not know the answer to that question?
"Okay, let me get this straight. You think the only reason I love you is because we're mates and if we weren't, I wouldn't love you?"
"Obviously!" She threw up her hands and genuflected like she was thankful that I finally fucking got a clue. Like I was the fucking problem here. She was the one who was absolutely insane.
"So, how exactly am I supposed to prove to you that I love you? Watching your fucking racist vampire TV shows with minimal complaint didn't clue you in?" Minimal? Well, it's a relative fucking term. Shut the fuck up. "Going and getting you blood when you could have easily killed a perfectly good human isn't enough? Taking a girl out on a date at your behest means nothing? Moving to fucking Jersey and getting you a cow and tasting animal blood isn't proof enough? How the fuck am I supposed to prove it? Everything I've fucking done has been because I fucking love you. What more do you fucking need?"
"You did all those things because you wanted to get me into bed, or at least that's what I thought. I'm not a moron, Edward." Oh, you're fucking not? Because you sure as fuck sound like one right about now. "I know you care about me, but how much of it is because of me and how much of it is because of this whole mate business?"
"How the hell can I quantify it?" I was yelling now but I couldn't help myself. "I've never had a mate. I've never been in fucking love. I don't know how they do or don't compare. I know that I love you. I know I love you because you make me crazy but I don't even want to try to walk away from you. I know I love you because you're smart and sarcastic and full of life. I love you when you're lying in my arms, content as can be, and when you're spitting fire and swinging at me. I love you when you're irrational, like right now, and when you make perfect sense, which is rare but still happens on occasion. What else can I do to prove it to you?"
The fight left her and she collapsed onto the couch. "I don't know. I want to believe you, really I do. I just don't know how to let myself do that. The thought that there's some higher power or fate or whatever guiding us bothers me." I hopped back over the couch and she burrowed into my arms. I was finally fucking holding her but it wasn't at all like I imagined I would be after I'd made my declaration. Go fucking figure. I'd never understand her, not even if I had a million years to figure her out.
Still, if I thought about it enough, she obviously had the feelings too. She talked about fate guiding us…maybe she just didn't trust what she felt for me was love either. But it was there or else she wouldn't fucking care so much about what was real and what wasn't. I could be patient, even if it wasn't my strong suit. I would be patient, for her, because she deserved it.
"I don't know why you'd even want to love me. I'm a fucking head case," she muttered against my shirt. I chuckled and tilted her face up to mine and kissed her.
"That's one of the main reasons. I never know what the fuck you'll say or do. This certainly didn't go the way I imagined the billion times I pictured it in my head." Her face fell and I kissed her again until I felt her lips curve under mine, then pulled away and grinned at her. "Maybe you're my mate and maybe you're not. It doesn't matter. I'd love you anyway because you're you. In time, perhaps you'll grow to see that." Her eyes were shining with emotion and if I let myself, I could believe it was love. Maybe it was and she just wasn't ready.
That's it? After all that you're just going to wait for her to love you? What the fuck is wrong with you? Where's the cocky bastard that I know and love? MAKE her love you. MAKE her say it. I need to hear it! This isn't about you, fuckhead. This is about me and her and what she needs. I love her; I know I do, because I can put her needs ahead of mine. If she needs time to recognize that she loves me, I'll give it to her.
Well that's a fucking disappointment. Too bad for you, dickwad. You're not a part of this, which you've made abundantly clear by being conspicuously absent when I needed you most. I'll handle this, just like I've handled everything else. All you do is talk. I'm the one doing all the changing and compromising. Fuck off.
Bella put her head on my shoulder and I held her for a little while, wondering as usual what the fuck was going on in her crazy head but not pushing because I'd just made myself and the douche in my head a promise that I was going to be fucking mature about this situation. I could afford to be because I fucking knew, now more than ever, that she belonged with me.
I edged away and Bella glanced up at me, fear and panic in her eyes. What, did she fucking think I was going to leave because she couldn't accept my love? Of course she did, freak that she was. "I forgot; I got you something."
She smiled nervously and sat up. "You did? What is it?"
I chuckled and got to my feet. "You'll see." I ran out to the car and got the boxes I'd picked up at the post office. I carried them inside and Bella nearly pounced on them and me, acting like a little kid on Christmas morning.
"I smell books! Ink, paper, glue and leather!" I laughed and thrust that box at her. She tore into it and started exclaiming over the hardcover first editions I'd gotten. Shakespeare, Hemingway, Faulkner, Bronte…all the fucking classics she so liked to read.
"Edward, this is incredible!" She threw herself into my arms, hugging the life out of me while I laughed and hugged her back. I'd have to remember the next time I fucking pissed her off to give her a book. Who needed diamonds? Certainly not my Bella. Yet another thing that made her fucking amazing.
"I'm glad you like it, baby, but that's not all I got."
"You give me too much and I don't give you anything." The excitement died out of her face, of course, because she was having yet another fucking mood swing. Jesus, I'd also need to ask if the Volturi had any pills or some fucking thing that cured moodiness.
"You're all I'll ever need." She smiled sadly at my words and I felt like a fucking asshole, but I wasn't saying it to pressure her. I honestly fucking meant it. She was the best thing in my life and she always would be. Nothing else could compare. I had everything I'd ever wanted now that I had her. Hell I had something I never knew or at least admitted that I wanted now.
"You're too good to me," she said softly, tracing the brown leather cover of A Farewell To Arms.
"I can take them back if you think it's too much." She clutched the book to her chest protectively and I laughed at the mutinous expression on her face. "I didn't think so. Now open the other package."
That was all the encouragement she needed and she tore into it with gusto. An expression of confusion crossed her face and she lifted the phone out of the box. "A phone? Edward, I can't call anybody. Why would you give me a phone?" Her voice sounded sad, and I knew she was thinking of her father and maybe her useless mother and her friends.
"You can call whoever you want from that phone. It's untraceable."
Her head whipped up and she pinned me with her crimson eyes. "Really? I can call my father?" I plucked the phone out of her hands, afraid that she was going to crush it in her fucking excitement. She was incredibly beautiful, her eyes shining with hope.
"Yes, you can call your father. Of course, you're going to need to refrain from telling him where you are and who you're with. It'd be best if you kept up the ruse that you've run off with Jacob," I spat the name in disgust. How I fucking hated that anyone thought she cared for that sorry loser, but it was for the best.
She nodded obediently, her fingers flexing as she sort of half reached for the phone, her eyes on it as if afraid it would vanish before she got the chance to speak to her father. "I mean it, Bella. Don't tell your dad where you are. Just imply that you're on some island and you're happy with the stalker freak and tell him you just need time to be with your man before you return to reality and to him."
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Edward, I know what I need to do. I swear, I won't mention vampires or blood or New Jersey or you. I just want a chance to tell him that I'm okay. It's all I've wanted since I woke up."
Those words speared through me. All she wanted. Well, that figured and if that was all she wanted, she could have it now. It was the very least I could give her. I handed her the phone and she cradled it like a fucking newborn baby, which was cute as hell.
"I'll take the phone away if you start to say something that I don't like, Bella." I hated saying it but she had to know, if she decided to tell him the truth, I'd end it and we'd run. Charlie Swan coming to find her wasn't an option and my losing her wasn't either.
"I know. I can handle it." She sat back on the couch and looked at me, patting the cushion next to her. I sat beside her and she kissed me softly. "Thank you, Edward. Letting me give my dad some peace of mind…well, that's one of the greatest gifts you could ever give me."
I gave her a half-hearted smile. "Even better than the books?"
She laughed and kissed me again. "Even better."
"Well, what are you waiting for? Give him a call."
She grinned at me and dialed the number quickly, her fingers flying over the digits. She raised the phone to her left ear and took my hand in her free right one. I really fucking loved that she was still touching me when she called the man that I'd taken her away from forever. See, she did love me, she just didn't know how to say it yet.
"Chief Swan," a gruff voice came through the phone. I nearly laughed at his greeting but Bella probably wouldn't fucking appreciate it.
"Daddy, it's me." Bella bit her lip nervously. It was really fucking cute how she looked like a child waiting to be chastised even though the man was three thousand miles or so away.
"Bella! Where are you? Are you alright? Has he hurt you? I swear to God, I will skin that boy alive if he's harmed a hair on your head. Where are you? I'll be right there." His voice had gone up several octaves and he sounded frantic at the sound of her voice.
"Dad, calm down, I'm fine. Better than fine. I'm great actually."
"Isabella Swan, don't you tell me you're fine! I've been out of my mind for weeks and you're just fine? Where the hell are you?" The gruffness was back and there was anger in his tone now. Fucking parents, nothing was ever good enough.
"I can't tell you where I am, Dad. I don't need you coming and trying to take me back home." She shifted uncomfortably next to me.
"Damn right you're coming home. And I'm putting an industrial lock on your bedroom door if I have to. How could you do that to me, Bella?" His voice broke as he said her name and she bit her lip and glanced at me. I tried to give her a reassuring look but what the fuck did I know about talking to parents? I hadn't done that in over 85 years and we hadn't talked all that much back then either.
"No, I'm not, Daddy. I'm sorry you were worried. I never meant to scare you. I left a note but obviously it got lost." Oh, good one, baby. I nodded at her in approval.
"Note? There was no note, Bella. I went over that room with a fine-toothed comb. Don't you lie to me."
"I'm not lying, Dad. There was a note. Maybe Jacob took it, because he wanted me to himself for awhile." I bit back a growl at the mention of his name. It was for the best, I knew it was. Fucking douche.
"Why don't you ask him?" Charlie's voice was seething with anger now and Bella winced. I ran my thumb over the back of her hand and she gave me a shaky smile.
"He left to give me a little privacy." Her eyes were on mine. "He's been wonderful to me, Dad. I know you don't approve of me leaving the way I did and I wish I could have said goodbye, but trust me when I tell you that I'm happier than I've ever been." I hoped fervently that was fucking true.
"Bella, you're a child. You don't know a thing about relationships. You got swept away in the moment, thinking like you were in one those stories you always had your nose buried in. This is real life. You have school and family and responsibilities. You can't go running off to God knows where and give everything up for some boy you won't even like a month from now." He was in full-on parental lecture form now and I didn't resist rolling my eyes. Bella glared at me but her lips were twitching and I knew she was trying not to smile.
"I do know about relationships and I know where I belong. I'm with the person I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with. You know me, Dad, and you know that I know my heart. I know that I didn't go about this the right way, and I'm sorry for that. But I wanted you to know that I'm sorry I scared you, and I had no idea that you wouldn't know that I was okay." I really hoped she meant what she was saying and wasn't just posturing for her fucking father.
"Bella, just tell me where you are. I swear I won't come and take you away. I'll come and we can sit down and have a mature conversation. I can see if this boy is really right for you and we can go from there. I'm trying to be reasonable here, which is more than you deserve after what you've put me through." His voice was still angry but also tired and resigned. I knew, without hearing him give the order, that he'd tried to trace the phone by now and failed.
"No, Dad. I'm just calling because I missed you and I love you and I wanted you to know that I'm okay. I'm very sorry to have upset you and…"
"Upset me? I thought my daughter was dead, Bella! That's a little worse than upsetting me!" he shouted. She huddled closer to me and I squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her.
"I know, Dad and I'm so, so sorry. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am. I'll never forgive myself for causing you a moment's pain. I never wanted that."
"How could you be so damn irresponsible, Bella? Why did it take you so long to call me? I don't even feel like you're my daughter. My daughter would never scare me like that. I've been terrified!" He was still shouting and I had to stifle the strong urge to take the fucking phone away from Bella and yell at him for upsetting her, which he was clearly doing. She was trembling against me and shrinking down, like she was becoming a little girl again.
"I thought you knew who I was with and that I was okay, Dad. I was going to call sooner but I was scared." Her voice was impossibly sad.
He chuckled humorlessly. "You don't know scared, Bella. You don't know what it is to think you've lost your only child. I don't know how you could do this to me and why you won't let me come and see with my own two eyes that you're alright." Damn, the man could lay on the fucking guilt trip. I felt rage boiling in me, but I was angry at myself instead of him. Well, mostly at myself. It was my fault that Bella hadn't called him, it was me that took her from him and she was the one getting yelled at and being made to feel like a bad child. I moved away from her walked to the window and looked out at the land, trying to control the guilt I was feeling. I could feel her eyes burning a hole in my back and knew I needed to go back to her.
"I'm sorry, Dad. I really just wanted to let you know that I was okay and that I'm happy." Something in her voice made me turn around and she took a deep breath and sat up, straightening her shoulders. "I've finally found the place that I belong. I'm sorry that you don't approve, but I know what's right for me. You always told me that I was mature beyond my years and maybe you don't still believe that after what I've done, but I haven't changed, Dad. I know what's right for me and he is." Her eyes were on mine as she said that and I gave her a real smile this time.
"Bella, you don't know what you want. You're twenty-two years old. You have plenty of time left to find the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with." He sounded desperate now, like he knew his time with her was almost up. I wanted to laugh at just how much time she had left to find her Mr. Right. Infinite amounts, Chief Swan. It doesn't matter, she's found me and I'm not letting her go. I returned to her side and took her hand again, needing to touch her and reaffirm that very fact.
"Dad, I do know what I want and it's him." Her eyes were on mine and her hand held mine almost painfully tight. "He loves me." Her voice rang with conviction and her eyes burned with it. Holy fuck, she believed me now, I could see it on her face and hear it in her voice. I wanted to ask her why but I wasn't going to look that gift horse in the mouth. Finally. "And I love him, too, so much more than I ever thought possible." She continued to look at me and I knew every word she spoke was the truth.
She loves me! She fucking loves me! She has all along but she was too damn afraid of it to tell me back. I didn't know why she chose now, but I didn't fucking care. She loves me. Nothing in this world matters more than that fact. Inner asshole was screaming in glee but I tuned him the fuck out. This was our moment, not his.
"Bella, stop being ridiculous. You need to come home. Bring him with you. We'll talk about all this." Her father's voice was demanding and panicked now.
"No, Daddy, I can't come home now. Maybe sometime soon, but not right now. Right now I need to spend time with the man I love. I've got to go, but I'll talk to you soon. I love you and I'm very sorry that I worried you. I'll call you soon, I promise." She hung up on his sputtering and looked at me.
"You meant it." I didn't ask a question, because I wasn't questioning her but she answered me anyway.
"Yes." There was the fucking yes again, only this one was a billion times better than the first one.
I leaned forward to kiss her but she put her hand on my chest. "I do love you, Edward. I'm sorry I freaked out about the mated thing but I really want this to be real." Her voice was quiet, but not unsure. My unbeating heart felt like it was going to burst out of my fucking chest and do a conga around the living room. I'd never been happier in all of my existence.
"It is real, baby. I love you and you love me. Nothing could be more real than that." She smiled and pulled me to her then; kissing me as hungrily I was her. Bella loved me. Victoria, the Volturi, her father…nothing else mattered. All that mattered was that the girl I loved-loved me right back. I felt like I could take on the world as long as I had her by my side. Love…who the fuck would have guessed?
A/N Well, we all would have guessed but Smugs is a little slow sometimes and Bella's a wild card, so we couldn't be completely sure! Did it live up to expectations? I hope so!
I kind of hate to say this but we're getting close to the end of this story. I don't have an exact number of chapters but I'd say only 4 or so more remain. Our lovevamps are on the same page, finally, and we have a little to clear up but that's almost all she wrote. I know, I don't want to let go of these two either, believe me, but the story is wrapping up.
I have another outtake posting this week, chapter 13 from BPOV, the car and the bedroom scene. So you can get into her head a little, though maybe you did in this chapter. I hope so! That will post under Bite of Darkness, in my profile. Can't wait to hear what you think.