Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Please note that the story idea behind this fiction is entirely that of the authors. Use of any portion of this fiction, without the authors' prior approval is strictly prohibited.

A/N: I want to thank someone very dear to me, (Jeanne) SparklingWand, my beta. Thank you so much for coming along on this journey with me. I can not tell you how happy I am that unseen forces brought you to me!~ Without you I would be lost!

Thank you also to my great friend and pre-reader (Jackie) TwiMoments. Love you loads girl!

Last but not least I want to thank all of my readers for the wonderful reviews you left me on the first chapter of this story! I hope that this chapter lives up to your expectations and you continue to stick with me with me on this endeavor! Love you all! Please review me because I live for your feedback:) Hugs to you all!

~x~

'Waiting'

Wanting, Lusting to be held,

to be loved, to feel warmth,

to feel your beating heart.

Wanting to be sheltered from the cold,

heartless winds.

Falling into visible arms;

into an abyss of love.

Wishing, hoping, that my desires will be filled;

my desires of loving warmth.

Wanting to be held, comforted, loved.

Dreaming of passionate embraces,

of tender kisses, loving words, romantic nights.

Waiting for Undying love.

By: Dawn D.

~x~

"Chapter Two"

(Waiting)

~Bella~

Thank God it wasn't a long car ride from the house to R&R Publishing, where I had been working since I graduated from college seven years ago. Apparently my waking up late has pissed Jacob off, because his incessant whining is really starting to get on my nerves.

"Why can't you ever do anything on time, Bella? All I ever do is wait on you, it really gets old, ya know!"

Fuck, he is really starting to piss me off. Okay, so I've never been one to be punctual, is that such a horrible crime? I mean, really. Like I said, thank God this was a short car ride!

"Jesus, Jake, give me a fucking break. I've had a lot on my mind lately, and I didn't get much sleep last night." I yelled.

"Really?" he seethed. "Could this have anything to do with Edward?"

I was taken aback by him mentioning Edward, quite literally shocked. I had never told Jacob about Edward. In fact, I had never talked to anyone about Edward. The only person who even remembered him was my dad Charlie, and he knew better than to bring up that subject with me.

I don't speak to anyone from Forks anymore, sadly not even Alice. Losing her from my life has left another empty hole in my chest, but cutting off all ties was a necessary step for me to take. After the pain that Edward caused me back then, it was the only step at the time I thought I could take to obtain any sense of a normal, somewhat sane life. How wrong I was to think I'd be better off without my best friend by my side. I missed her terribly and fought back the urge everyday to pick up the phone and try to find her. But I had to face the fact that she, like Edward, was part of a past and would only ever exist in my memory now.

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself, "Jacob, who is Edward?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

"I don't know," he said, squinting his eyes in my direction. "I figured you could tell me that, considering you said his name at least ten times last night in your sleep."

My breath hitched with his words and things started to race through my mind.

What else had I said in my sleep?

What else had Jake heard?

When I regained my composure and remembered to breathe again, I answered him.

"Jake, I have no idea what you are talking about." I lied .

I considered many times telling him about Edward, in the beginning of our relationship, but it just seemed easier to leave it buried just beneath the surface. How wrong I was again; so many mistakes made that can't be undone now. No, if I were to tell Jacob about Edward now, I have no doubt it would be clear on my face that he is and always has been my only true love. How would I ever make the man I'd chosen to spend the last ten years of my life with understand that no matter how hard he tries, he will never hold the same place in my heart that this beautiful boy from my past held.

I looked over at him to gauge the expression on his face. His angular jaw went from being clinched, to suddenly relaxed and I breathed a sigh of relief as It appeared I was safe, for the time being anyway. Edward's name must have been the only thing I'd let slip in my sleep last night, because Jacob turned back towards the road, and didn't mention it again.

When we arrived at my office, he pulled up to the curb and I opened the car door to get out. I was startled when he grabbed my arm and pulled me back in my seat.

I panicked for a moment, thinking he was going to bring Edward up again. Instead, he reached over and kissed me on the cheek.

"We need to discuss your birthday party tonight when we get home. It's coming up, and it's the big three-o, so we should plan something special for you." he said smiling, the anger from a few moments ago either forgotten or pushed to the side.

But I was anything but calm with the mention of my birthday. My heart pounded in my chest and my breathing became erratic, birthdays were NOT my thing. The last time someone told me they wanted to do something special for me on my birthday, I ended up with a broken heart.

~Flashback~

September 13th, 1997

"Keep your eyes closed, angel," Edward whispered gently in my ear.

"Where are you taking me? Edward, you know I hate surprises."

"Bella, stop complaining," he said with a chuckle.

"Sit back, keep your eyes closed, and enjoy the ride. We'll be there soon," he smiled, as he took my hand in his and placed a soft kiss on it. "I promise. You'll love what I have planned for you."

"Edward–" I started to whine, but he silenced me by taking his finger, putting it to my lips, and looking at me with those piercing green eyes of his.

"It's your birthday, baby. Please let me make it special for you."

That was it. That was all he ever had to do. One look from him and my heart melted instantly. I didn't say another word, and I did not open my eyes again until we arrived at our destination.

"You can open your eyes now, angel," he whispered, as the car came to a stop.

He shut the engine off and I opened my eyes to see a beautiful cabin decorated with what seemed like thousands of white lights right in front of us. He looked over at me with a smile spread from ear to ear "Surprise baby!"

"Oh my God Edward, how did you...," I trailed off in shock.

Apparently, Edward's family owned this cabin in the mountains not too far from Forks. To my astonishment, he was able to arrange for us to spend the whole night here together. He had somehow managed to put Alice up to telling my father that she wanted to take me on an overnight shopping trip in Seattle for my birthday. Amazingly, Charlie had agreed to let me go.

Edward opened my car door, took my hand, and pulled me from the car. When we walked in the front door of the cabin, I couldn't believe what I saw. Everywhere I looked there were candles lit and rose petals strewn around. Soft music played in the background, and my eyes were drawn to a beautiful table set for two.

I looked up at him with what must have been a huge grin across my face, because he began to smile too.

"This kind of surprise pleases you I can see," he said as he took my coat, and led me towards the dining room.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Famished," I replied. I really was starving. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, and we had skipped lunch in order to make it here quicker. He pulled me by my hand towards the table, and pulled out a chair for me.

"Sit, m'lady" he gestured towards the chair with a smile.

I sat down without a word, still dumbfounded as to how he had arranged all of this.

After I was seated, he bent down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips before he disappeared into the kitchen, quickly returning with two big bags of Chinese take-out from my favorite restaurant.

"Dinner is served," he chuckled, making me smile wide.

"Edward," I said, "How did you do all of this?"

"Does it matter?" he asked. "I wanted this night to be special for both of us. I've been planning it for weeks."

"Thank you," was all I could muster.

Edward and I had been together now for exactly one year. Over the past year, the only real details I had learned about him were that he and his brother Jasper, both been adopted by Carlisle and Esme Cullen when he was 13 and Jasper was 15. I knew nothing else of his past, except that whatever had happened with his real family must have been very traumatic; because he often fell into bouts of depression, getting high and withdrawing from the whole world, including me.

I'd tried several times to get bits of information out of him, but he was never willing to share his past. All I knew was that he was adopted, and something terrible must have happened prior to his adoption. Recently it had really started to get to me that he was unwilling to open up to me, I mean I had shared everything with him, including my mother walking out on Charlie and I. It seemed so unfair that he didn't seem to trust me enough to share his secrets with me.

So, not only was it my birthday, but it was also our anniversary. Our very first date had been on my birthday one year ago, although I hadn't told him at the time that it was my birthday. When he found out, he more than made up for it.

We finished eating, and we cleared away the remainder of the food before moving to the couch in front of the fireplace. He pulled me closer to him, and I felt the electricity that always seemed to radiate in the air around us. It was always there, that need, that desire to be as close to him as I possibly could be.

I wanted more than anything for this to be the night that Edward finally said yes.

I knew I wouldn't be his first. There were just some things he couldn't hide from me. It was clear to me that he had experience in that area just from the fooling around that we had done. When I asked, he begrudgingly told me that his first very uninteresting encounter with sex had been with a girl from his foster home named Tanya. I didn't even know her, and I hated her.

"Bella," he whispered, causing me to look up into those deep green eyes.

My heart pounded in my chest as he whispered in my ear, "I want you to know that I'm in love with you. I've never felt this way about anyone before."

He reached his arm around my shoulder and placed his hand on my neck, pulling me into him." Happy Birthday, angel," he murmured, as he pressed his lips to mine.

In that moment, there on that couch, nothing else existed to me but Edward. I loved him so completely when he was like this with me. Our kiss deepened, and he gently forced open my mouth to allow his tongue access. Our breathing became more erratic, our hands started moving frantically, grasping at each other. I couldn't get enough of him. I wanted to touch every part of his beautiful body, and God, how I wanted him to touch every part of me!

He pushed me down so that he was now lying on top of me. I could feel how hard he was through his jeans, as he positioned himself between my legs. The gentle movement of his hips brought my body to life, giving me such sweet pressure, right where I needed it.

His hands moved in between us to unbutton my shirt. As he popped open each button, his soft, warm tongue moved further down my neck until he reached my right breast. He began to nibble and suck my nipple deep into his mouth. I arched my back giving him complete access, feeling my nipples harden at his touch.

He stopped briefly, before moving further down. He placed wet kisses down the contours of my stomach. I shivered when he nipped at the skin just above my waistband. He looked up at me, longing in his eyes, and then popped the button on my jeans. I reached down, and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it carelessly to the floor. He smiled and continued to suck and nip my skin at my panty line. He worked his magical tongue on me, lapping at my navel, and used his teeth to pull my panties down enough to expose more skin. His mouth leaving a trail of fire on me from where his lips had been, had me practically begging him to give me the release I so desperately desired from him.

I lifted my hips, offering myself to him. I wanted him to take my pants off of me, and have his way with me. I had never wanted anything so much in my life. Suddenly he sat up, and moved back away from me. He raked his fingers through his hair, and with a strain in his voice, he said, "No, Bella. We have to stop. We can't do this, not here, not tonight."

I sat up and wrapped my shirt around my bare chest. I was astonished that he was stopping this from happening once again, especially tonight. I felt consumed with sadness, and more than that, rejection. Questions flooded my mind, as I desperately tried to collect myself, fighting back the tears that threatened to escape from me. Does he not want me the way I want him? Maybe he thinks I can't live up to that bitch, Tanya. Obviously, he had no trouble going all the way with her.

When he looked at me, I knew he saw the pain in my eyes, "Edward, why? Why not tonight? Why do you continually push me away like this?"

"Bella, we just can't. It's not the right time. You are not ready for this!" he said placing his head in his hands.

"How dare you, Edward!" I screamed. "How dare you presume to know what I am or am not ready for?" I was so angry at him. My eyes filled with tears, and at that moment I needed an explanation.

"Please explain to me, Edward, how you know what I'm not ready for."

"Bella, I've already told you that you need to be sure that your first time is with the right person, and I am not so sure that I am that person for you." he cried, raising his head up to look into my tear filled eyes.

"How can you say that, Edward? We have been together for a year now. You said you loved me, and you know I love you."

I looked at him, and at that moment, anger flashed in his eyes. Here it comes again, the mask firmly back in place.

"Bella, how can you honestly love me, when you know nothing about me?" He seethed, as he turned his head away from me.

"How can I possibly know anything about you, Edward, when you won't talk to me? Every time I think we are making progress, that you might for once open up to me, and share a piece of yourself with me, you just shut down. Are you ever going to let me in?" I questioned, practically screaming.

"What are you hiding from me, Edward? You can tell me anything. You know that."

"Bella, I don't want to have this conversation right now. Can we please just try and enjoy the rest of your birthday?," he begged. "Don't let this ruin the night for us."

"I have a gift for you. Would you like it now?" he asked, feigning a smile and trying to change the subject.

I only wanted one gift at this moment, but it was obvious he didn't want to give it to me.

"No! Edward, enough is enough!" I lashed out. "If you don't trust me enough to let me in, even just a little bit, well, then, I think it's time to for me to go home!"

"Bella, please," he pleaded.

"No! I'm done...I can't do this anymore tonight with you. Take me home now, please," I asserted.

All I could think about at that point was being away from him, and going somewhere to get high. I needed it. I needed the numbness. This constant battle of emotions raging inside me was really wearing me thin.

He did as I requested and drove me home. The car ride was silent for the most part until we pulled into my driveway.

"What are you going to tell Charlie?" he asked. "He thinks you've been with Alice."

"I'll think of something," I said coldly.

"Bella, please wait," he pleaded, as I reached for the door handle.

"What is it, Edward?" I snapped.

"Please, at least let me give you your gift," he begged. "Hold out your hand."

I did as he asked because I wanted out of the car as quickly as possible. I was overcome with feelings of embarrassment, resentment, sadness, and most of all…rejection. He placed a small black box in the palm of my hand.

"You can open it later if you want, and I really am sorry. I wanted this night to be perfect for you, and it seems as though I've screwed that up once again."

I took the box without another word, got out of the car, and slammed the door shut.

Without even a glance back towards the car, I went into the house and headed straight for the staircase. I wanted to be in my room…no, I needed to be there to smoke. I needed to forget this shit for a while.

As luck would have it, Charlie was once again passed out on the couch, and didn't even hear me come in. I shut the lights off downstairs and headed for my room.

Once there, I threw open my closet door and grabbed the shoebox hidden in the back of my closet.

I found the last of my stash in there, rolled a joint, opened my bedroom window, and lit up. I took a long drag, and closed my eyes, trying to drown out the thoughts coursing through my brain. It wasn't long before I started to feel the calming effects, but even with that, I couldn't shut out the questions lingering in my mind.

Why won't he let me in?

What was so terrible about his past that he can't share it with me?

After finishing off the joint and feeling somewhat relaxed, I finally worked up the strength to make my way towards the bathroom. I placed the small box on my dresser outside the bathroom door and took my pajamas out.

I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and dressed for bed. I wanted this night to be over with, and the sooner I got to sleep, the sooner that would happen. Once I was back in my room, however, I couldn't help myself. My eyes glanced over at Edward's gift, the black box laying on my dresser.

I quickly snatched it up and sat down on my bed, flipping open the lid of the box. I gasped, inside the box, was the most beautiful heart shaped locket I had ever seen. I opened it, and inside was a picture of a precious little red haired boy with big green eyes looking up at me.

I couldn't believe it. It was Edward as a little boy. It had to be. This was the first part of Edward's past he had ever shared with me. Underneath the locket was a tiny folded piece of paper.

I unfolded the note and began to read it:

B,

As I'm sure you can tell, I'm not very good with words. So here goes nothing, first Happy Birthday baby. I hope this night was everything you had hoped for and more.

I stopped, reaching up to wipe the tears from my eyes...No this night had not turned out as I had hoped at all Edward, I thought as I looked down at the paper and continued to read.

This locket is the only thing I have left that belonged to my mother, my real mother. Her name was Elizabeth and as you know she is no longer in my life. She gave it to me as a small child and probably isn't even aware that I held on to it. Until I met you she was the only woman I have ever really loved in my life, despite the pain she has caused both Jasper and I. Now that I have you, I realize I have never really known what true love felt like until now. So I thought it only appropriate that you have this, as a reminder that I want more than anything to share things from my past with you, I'm just not capable of dredging up the memories I have locked inside yet, but please know that when I am ready, you are the only person in the world, I would ever share them with.

My heart is, and always will be yours,

E

I sat there, tears streaming from my eyes, feeling overcome with guilt for the way I had treated Edward tonight. He had worked so hard to make this night just right for me, and I had thrown it in his face, as if it meant nothing to me.

Could he ever forgive me?

Although it frustrated me, I knew from that moment on that I would be patient with him. I knew that whatever pain he had suffered through in his past would surface at some point, in one way or another, and no matter how long it took, I would wait. There was no other choice for me. I loved this beautiful boy, and I would endure anything for him.

~Flash Forward~

"Bella! Are you okay?" I heard Jacob ask, sounding frantic, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Please, Jacob, I don't want a party. Turning thirty isn't something to celebrate."

I really had been dreading this birthday, unlike I had any other. I wasn't one that liked to be the center of attention, ever, but this birthday in particular was painful.

Half my life had passed me by, and what did I have to show for it? Yeah, I had a great job that I was really good at, and a husband who tried in his own way to love me. But I certainly couldn't say I was happy. No, I hadn't been happy in a long...long time.

When I was younger I had dreamed of having so much more by now, I had dreamed of having Edward. I really thought that my life would have been different, but as I blink and look my husband in the face, I realize just how wrong I had been back then.

I broke my promise - a promise that I made to myself all those years ago.

I promised to be patient with Edward, I knew he had a troubled past. I knew that whatever haunted him was at times too much for him to bear.

I said then that I would be everything for him that he needed me to be. I promised to endure anything that came our way, because I knew that when he was ready, Edward would be there for me, just as I was for him.

God, I was so wrong. I didn't know then what anything would entail, and when I found out, I realized that maybe Edward never really would give me his whole heart. That maybe he was just to damaged to ever even try.

I could forgive a lot of things, but I just couldn't forgive him for everything, especially not that.

"Bella!" Jacob snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Earth to Bella." he said sarcastically.

I came out of my daze and apologized.

"I really wish you would tell me what's been going on with you lately,"

"Sometimes, it appears as though you are in an entirely different world."

What he didn't understand is, I was in another world. A world where I was happy, I had the life of my dreams, and I had that beautiful disaster of a boy by my side.

"I'm sorry," I said again. "I'm just tired. We'll talk more tonight. You're already late. You need to get going." I needed to get out of the car before the tears that threatened to fall gave me away.

"Alright," he finally agreed after a long pause. "I'll be here at six to pick you up, and don't forget, we have to pick up your car from the shop after work."

"Okay," I said. "I'll see you at six." hastily exiting the car.

I waved goodbye, and walked towards the building. Once inside, I waved to the receptionist, Stacy, I think her name is. It's pretty sad that I can't remember that, considering she has been here almost as long as I have.

I stepped into the elevator, and asked the gentleman standing there to push the button to the tenth floor for me, as I tried to regain my composure before heading into my office.

I arrived exactly ten minutes late, but no one even noticed. When I got to my desk I saw a yellow post-it note stuck to my computer screen stating that I had a phone message from yesterday after I left.

The call came from an area code I recognized well...Forks, but the number itself was not familiar to me. The post it had Urgent written across it in bold black letters along with the number, and call ASAP! I instantly became concerned that something had happened to my father, but wondered why no one had contacted me at home. I picked up the phone and dialed the number. A voicemail picked up almost immediately, and as soon as I heard the voice on the other end, I realized this wasn't about my father at all, shockingly it was Alice's voice.

I sat there listening to her voice, stunned. How had she found me? I hadn't spoken to her since I left Forks. I knew that my dad had run into her a few times after I had left, but she was angry with me. According to Charlie, she never even attempted to ask him where I had decided to go to college.

I immediately hung up without leaving a message, grabbed the phone again and called Charlie. He picked up on the first ring.

"Bella is something wrong?" he asked.

"No, why would you think that dad?"

"Well, you haven't called much lately, and you never return my messages... So I just assumed that something had happened for you to be calling."

"No, Dad. Nothing is wrong, and I'm sorry I haven't called lately. Things have just been kind of crazy, you know? Anyways, I'm calling because I want to know if you've spoken to Alice lately?"

"Well, yeah, as a matter of fact, she called me a couple of days ago at the station, asking how she could reach you. I tried to call you to let you know, but like I said you never return my messages. She said it was really important that she speak to you right away. So I gave her your work phone number just in case you didn't want her calling you at the house."

"Did she happen to mention what was so important?"

"No," he said. "Just that it was very important that she reach you as soon as possible."

"Alright, Dad. Well, I'm at work now, so I'll have to call you back later."

"Bells, is everything okay?" he asked again.

"Yeah. Like I said, things have just been crazy lately, but I'm okay."

"Alright. Well, I'll talk to you soon then, kiddo."

"Dad, I am about to turn thirty. Do you think you'll ever stop calling me kiddo?"

"No, Bells," he chuckled. "You'll always be my kiddo, no matter how old you get. Speaking of which, with your birthday coming up and all, are you and Jacob planning anything special?" Ugh, I cringed. There it was again, why do we even have birthdays?

I didn't want him to ask if he could come for a visit. I loved Charlie, and he was a different person now that he had cleaned himself up. Things however were still strained between us, which wasn't his fault at all. He had tried like hell to make up for things, but me acting in true Bella fashion, well, let's just say I had a hard time letting the past go. I just wasn't up for a visit from my dad right now. I didn't need the added stress.

"No, Dad," I replied, "nothing special at all. I really don't want to make a big deal over my birthday, or turning thirty."

"Bells, there's nothing wrong with turning thirty. In fact you should feel proud at what you have been able to accomplish at such a young age," he encouraged.

What I've accomplished, I thought to myself, almost laughing out loud. This conversation was definitely over. My father obviously had no clue what he was talking about.

"Alright, well, I really have to get off of here now. I'll call you soon. Okay?" and with that I said goodbye and hung up the phone.

I sat back in my chair and wondered what Alice could possibly want after all this time? What was so important that she could put aside her anger towards me for leaving Forks without even saying goodbye to her.

"Only one way to find out," I said to myself, as I picked up the phone, and dialed her number once again. This time she picked up right away.

"Bella," she exclaimed. "Thank God, I finally found you."

I paused for a second, trying to determine how to reply.

After a brief pause, I was able to speak, "What is it Alice?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

"Bella, we have to talk, but not over the phone. Can I come for a visit?" she asked. "What I have to say needs to be said in person."

It amazed me how naturally she appeared to pick up where we left off all those years ago, I had no choice but to follow suit because I really did want to see her.

"Of course, Alice. When did you want to come?"

"As soon as possible. This can't wait," she reiterated.

"Just tell me where I'm going, Bella, because although your father gave me your work number, he wouldn't tell me where you are. I was able to determine from your area code that you are somewhere in California, but where?"

"Alice, I'm in San Diego."

"California," She sighed, "Wow, Bella, I never pictured you as a Cali girl." she said chuckling.

"Well, it's been a long time, Alice. There's a lot about me that you wouldn't recognize now."

A heavy silence hung between us. I know I probably hurt her even more by throwing our time and distance in her face, but I needed her to understand that I wasn't the same Bella she knew as a kid.

I finally broke the silence by asking, "Umm, when were you planning to come?"

"I'll be on the first flight out in the morning," she answered, "If that's alright with you."

I sighed, feeling a pit develop in my stomach. "Yeah, that's fine."

"Good, I'll call you when I arrive in the morning."

"Alice, can you at least tell me what the subject of this conversation is going to be?"

"Honestly, it really is better to discuss everything in person, but..." she paused for a brief second. "I will tell you this, it concerns Edward."

Edward! My heart constricted in my chest, at the mention of his name. She still talked to him? She knew about his life, about things I have longed to know for so long. Overwhelmed at the thought, it suddenly dawned on me that something may have happened to him.

"Is he okay?" I asked, rapidly feeling panic overtake me.

"He's fine, Bella. Don't worry." she said calmly.

"Really, what is it? What's wrong?" The suspense was killing me. I wanted to know about him so bad I could taste it.

"This is between me, you, and Edward," she explained, "and what I have to tell you is going to be hard for you to hear."

I felt a flash of anger with her incessant need to be cryptic about her coming to see me.

Just come out and say it. Don't leave me hanging. "Then why bother, Alice? I mean it's been twelve years since you last spoke to me. So, what is the point of all of this?" I demanded.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I know it's been too long, but things are happening now that I really need you to be aware of."

Alice sighed. "I'll call you as soon as I land, and don't worry, I'll catch a cab from the airport. I'll need your address?"

"1356 Monroe Street," I practically growled out, still angry.

"Okay, then I'll see you in the morning. Goodbye, Bella." I could hear sadness in her voice as she bid me farewell.

"Goodbye Alice," I replied quickly, as I hung up the phone.

My whole body began to tremble. Alice, my former best friend, which I hadn't spoken to in nearly twelve years, would be here tomorrow. On top of that, she had news for me about Edward. Edward, who had been a prominent thought on my mind lately, she had information on. Information that was so important, apparently, that she couldn't discuss it over the phone.

Now I am really tense.

How would I explain this to Jacob? Not only had I never mentioned Edward, but I had never told him about Alice either. Alice was another part of my past that I tried desperately to forget, but somehow I could never let go of. Now she was coming here, and I would have to tell Jacob something about her.

In a way, I had become Jacob's Edward. I refused to tell him very much about my past. I've kept him in the dark because I didn't want to physically face the pain those memories brought me.

Now those memories were knocking on my front door, thanks to Alice and her impending visit.

How was I going to explain any of this to him?