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Thanks so much to Melissa (Melarimo) for always supporting me and listening to my endless whining lol. Thank you Jackie for everything you do, you both are amazing and I am so lucky to have you in my life!

Sorry it took so long for this update, and thanks to all of you who have stuck by me and this story!

Chapter Playlist: Marry Me by Train

~Xx~

(Marry Me)

~Edward~

I had one last thing I had to do before picking Bella up from work. This was the one thing I had put off until last because it was by far the hardest thing I would have to do. But, there was no question in my mind that if I were going to start a new life with Bella and be free from my past, this was just something I had to do to accomplish that.

Pulling into the parking lot of the cemetery brought back a rush of memories that I'd tried so hard to forget. I hadn't been able to bring myself here since that day one year ago. Saying goodbye to Alice wasn't something I was sure I would be able to do, and now that I am here, I am more unsure than ever if I will be able to go through with it. Sounds cowardly, I know, but in my heart I guess I feel if I don't say goodbye, she will never really be gone.

Clearly my head knows that she is really gone and she is never coming back, but if my head and my heart always worked together, then maybe none of this shit would have ever happened in the first place.

When I got out of my car and started up the path toward her, my heart started to race, my head began to swim, and the closer that I came to where I knew she laid, the more difficult I found it to breathe. As I rounded the corner on the path her headstone came into view, and I had to stop for a brief moment as I felt that familiar pain in the pit of my stomach creep up again, causing me to double over right there.

As the wave of nausea subsided, I stood upright again and slowly made my way to her headstone, dropping to my knees in front of it, as I read the words aloud that I had written to be placed on it, for the first time.

Mary Alice Cullen

"My loving wife and best friend .

you did more than exist,

you lived.

You did more than listen,

You understood.

Rest in peace, my beautiful friend,

for I shall have none,

until you are by my side again."

As the last words echoed in the air around me, the tears welled up in my eyes and began to streak down my cheeks. It wasn't until this very moment I realized just how much Alice's departure from my life had affected me. I placed my head in my hands and made no effort to stop the tears from falling.

She deserved to be mourned and cried for; she was such an amazing woman, with a beautiful soul that can never be duplicated. She lived every damn second of her life showing everyone who came in contact with her what the meaning of the word "Sacrifice" really means.

"Fuck, Ali!" I cried, raising my head, still refusing to wipe the tears from my face as I said, she deserves them and so much more. "I miss you so damn much! Everyday, for a split second when I wake up in the morning, I am oblivious to the fact that you are gone and that split second is amazing, full of joy and happiness. Until reality comes crashing down on me, and I realize that you are gone and never again will I be able to look into your eyes or hear your sweet voice. God, what I wouldn't give for that...just one more time. There are so many things I want to say to you, so many things that should have been said long ago. I'm so sorry, my sweet girl, for holding you back from the things you really wanted in your life. I should have let you go long before I did; instead I held on to you like the selfish bastard that I am, never taking into consideration once that it might not be what was best for you. I know deep down inside my brother must hate me, and he has every fucking right to. After all, I kept his happiness from him for most of his life and then just when he had finally gotten it, you were ripped from him as though he didn't deserve to have it. And you and I both know that's not the case, no one is more deserving of it than Jasper. I will never be able to repay the two of you for the time stolen away from you. You gave me so many gifts, taught me so many things, never asking for a single thing in return. And now I will never get the chance to give it all back to you, to show you how much you being in my life meant to me. I can only hope that wherever you are, you are looking down on me, because if it takes the rest of my life, I will make you proud of me and become the man you always knew I could be. I love you, Alice, and I will never forget you and what your presence in my life did for me. Goodbye, my best friend."

After kneeling there motionless for what seemed like hours, trying to pull myself from the darkness that I was spiraling towards again, I managed to somehow bring myself to a standing position. I placed the single white rose I had brought for Ali on the top of her headstone and rested my hand there as though it were her I was actually touching. Forcing myself to break contact, I glanced at my watch, realizing the time.

"Shit, Bella." I screamed out loud, as I turned to make my way back to the car. When I reached the path I twisted around one last time to look towards my friend and mouthed the words "forever my best friend", turned around, and headed down the path.

~X~

What does it feel like to love someone so completely that to imagine your life without them causes you actual physical pain? A pain that goes so deep, you feel it to your very core? I know that pain...I think to myself, grasping my chest.

Barely able to breathe, I remember what that pain feels like. It's like someone reaching inside of you, grabbing hold of your beating heart and ripping it from you. Leaving you cold and empty, unable to feel any emotion at all. You're not dead though; no, death would be a relief at this point. Instead, you're left to face every day with the knowledge that you once held something so precious in the palm of your hand, and in the blink of an eye, you fucked it all away.

What does it feel like to live your life day after day, year after year, with this knowledge? Convinced that fate will never allow you another chance to right all the wrongs you've committed.

What does it feel like when suddenly, out of nowhere, a light shines into your darkness, awakening that cold dead heart and springing it to life once again. Showing you that you were wrong, fate had not given up on you, that, in fact, you were the one who had given up on fate.

These are the thoughts running through my head, as I watch her from across the street. She looks around and doesn't see me, and a small frown forms on her lips. With the sound of my voice calling out to her, she turns her head and our eyes meet, turning that frown into the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. The light shining into my darkness...like the sun shining through the clouds on a stormy day.

As she crosses the street towards me, that amazing smile lights up my whole world...I can't help but smile back as I repeat this prayer over and over again inside my head. Thank you, God, for not seeing me as a lost cause. Thank you for giving me my angel back, and please give me the strength to never send her away again.

I open my arms wide as she comes near, and wrap them around her, feeling her warmth.. her light.. her sun, radiate around me. Never have I felt more at home...more at peace, more sure of what I want than I do right at this moment. Marry me...I almost blurt out, thankfully stopping myself before I do. It would be just like me to ruin even that, so I move quickly to open her car door, momentarily distracting myself.

"Your carriage awaits, M'lady" I say, smiling at her and gesturing toward the car.

"Why, thank you, kind sir," she replies with a chuckle, stepping off the curb and climbing into the passenger seat.

Before closing the door, I bend down and reach into the backseat behind her, pulling out her first of many birthday gifts, "Happy birthday, angel." I whisper, leaning in to kiss her sweet lips.

"Thank you, E, they are beautiful," she whispers, looking up at me.

"Not near as beautiful as you are, Bella," I say, closing the car door and practically sprinting to the driver's side.

As I start the car I hear her mumble, "A new beginning," looking down at the little white bell-shaped flowers in her hand.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" I ask.

"I worked in a small flower shop while in college. Studying different flowers and their meanings sort of became a hobby of mine. Choosing these for me wasn't just a random decision, was it?"

"No, it wasn't. I chose them because of their meaning. This, here and now, is our new beginning, angel. I need you to know that you are everything to me, and that if I have to spend the rest of my life proving that to you, I will, without question."

She smiled at me and turned to look out the window without saying a word. I mean every word of it, Bella...for the rest of my life, I thought to myself,as I put the car in gear and pulled out into traffic.

~X~

~Bella~

"Keep your eyes closed, Bella. No peeking," I heard him say from the driver's seat.

"Where are we going, Edward?" I whined.

"It wouldn't be much of a surprise if I told you, now, would it?" he chuckled, as I felt the car come to a stop and the engine turn off. "Okay, you can open them now, baby," he whispered.

I smiled and opened my eyes wide, and I was suddenly transported back in time to another night much like this one...there stood the cabin in front of us, thousands of white twinkling lights lit up the whole outside and I looked over at Edward, shock on my face. "E...h-how..." He brought his finger up, placing it on my lips, and cut me off.

"It doesn't matter, Bella. I have a chance for a do over, and trust me, this time I will not fuck it up! Happy birthday, angel," he said with that crooked grin on his face that I love so much.

He turned, opened the car door and stepped out, walked over to my side of the car and opened the door, holding his hand out to me. I reached up, taking it, still in awe of how amazing that old cabin looked.

"Thank you, E, it's j-just beautiful," I choked out.

"Baby, don't thank me, if I could give you the moon I would...nothing is too much for you," he said, smiling.

I slipped out of the car with his help and wrapped my arms around him, as he bent over and reached under my legs, picking me up so that he was cradling me in his arms, and walked us up the front porch steps.

And just like that night so long ago, there were candles lit all over, a fire was already going in the fireplace... rose petals were strewn all over everything, and I was left dazed and confused as to how he managed all of this on his own. I looked up at him as he sat me down on my feet.

"I-it's so..." I trailed off, unable to finish my sentence, reaching up on my tiptoes to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around my hips as his hands trailed up my back. His fingers wound in my hair, and he pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss. Our breathing became erratic and all I could think about was his body so close to mine. I would never get enough of him.

He pulled away, cleared his throat and adjusted himself, making me chuckle. "Uhmm.. you hungry, angel?" he asked with a smirk, walking me over to a table set for two.

I giggled again at the sight before me, "Chinese again, E?"

He laughed right along with me. "I told you a do-over, remember?" he said, smiling, as he pulled my chair out and motioned for me to sit. He disappeared into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with the Chinese food in hand, and I couldn't help but laugh again as he set it down on the table.

Edward was very quiet during dinner. I would occasionally glance in his direction just to make sure he was still there, and would find him staring into space, lost in deep thought.

"Edward," I said, reaching over and tugging on his arm, trying to bring him back to the here and now.

"Sorry..," he whispered, looking up at me with a smile. "How's your food?"

"The food is fine, E, the better question is what's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"Come on, Edward, you haven't said two words to me since you sat down at the table. What are you thinking about so intensely?"

"S-sorry," he said again, and this time the smile left his face as he looked down at the table.

"Edward, what is it?" I asked.

"It's nothing, B, I've just been thinking a lot about fate lately."

"Fate?" I questioned, taking his hand in mine.

He slowly looked up at me and I saw that same look in his eyes that was there earlier...only this time it was pretty clear what it was that I was seeing in those beautiful green eyes of his...determination.

"Yeah...I mean, how it brought you to me all those years ago, how I fucked it up, and even after everything I did, fate still saw to it to bring you back into my life just when I needed you most. Isabella..." he said, standing up and walking over to me.

Edward rarely called me Isabella...so when I heard it slip from his lips my heart nearly skipped a beat, "E, w-what are you doing?" I asked, watching him drop down to one knee in front of me as he took my hand in his.

"Look, angel, I thought I had this all planned out...I mean exactly how I wanted this night to go...but I need to do this now, before I lose the will and that coward living inside of me breaks free again."

He looked up at me, and the intensity burning in his eyes made my heart race, as the words he had just spoken started to register with me. Was he...

"Edward, I-I..." I stuttered.

"Shhhh...let me do this, angel," he groaned, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little black box. Oh my God...he really is...Oh God...

"Edward..." I choked out, tears already falling down my cheeks..

"Isabella Marie Swan, I've loved you from the very first moment I saw you standing there in that parking lot. When you opened your mouth to speak to me in biology class for the first time, I knew my life would never be the same. I can't tell you what knowing that felt like, even then. I was lost, Bella, completely lost… and you brought your light into my life and helped me find my way in the darkness that threatened to consume me. I was young and stupid though, I didn't believe that I deserved to be saved from that darkness. So I did everything I could to push you and that beautiful light away. I watched you walk out of my life, and when you did, I was more convinced than ever that I didn't deserve the happiness that seemed to radiate from you. I've spent the last thirteen years of my life regretting every moment not spent with you. I see it now, B, I feel it, that light come to save me from myself again. This time I won't be blind to it though, this time I welcome that light into my darkness because I know that it's what completes me. You, angel, you are what completes me; and if you'll let me, I will spend every moment of the rest of my life showing you how much I love you, how much I have always loved you. Marry me, Bella, please.."

Unable to contain my emotions, I jumped out of my seat and wrapped my arms around him, kissing his sweet lips and nearly knocking him over. "Yes, Edward, yes...yes...yes!" I repeated over and over again in between kisses.

"Really yes?" he questioned.

"Yes, E...I love you, of course I'll marry you!"

"Really?" He asked again in disbelief.

"Edward," I whispered, looking him right in the eyes. "Did you doubt for one second that I would say yes? I've been dreaming of this moment almost since the very first time I met you all those years ago. Baby, I love you more than I have ever loved anything in my life, of course I want to be your wife. I have never wanted anything more. Now, put that ring on my finger, Mr. Cullen!"

"Bella, I love you..." he said with tears forming in his beautiful green eyes, as he took my hand and carefully slipped the ring on my finger.

I looked down, admiring the way the ring looked on my hand, "It's so beautiful, E."

"Not as beautiful as you, Angel," he said, bringing his hand up and brushing my cheek.

~X~

~Edward~

What does it feel like to love someone so completely, that when you hear them utter one simple three letter word, it changes everything you ever thought to be true about yourself? With that one simple word, her light finally breaks through the last shards of darkness lingering in your heart. Confirmation is given, and the realization slowly sinks in that you will never suffer her absence from your life again.

This was the last thought lingering on my mind when Bella crushed her lips to mine again. There were no coherent thoughts after that. The entire world disappeared, and it was just her and I lost here in this moment that I would never forget.

I reached up, taking her face in my hands, and pulled her to me, deepening the kiss. This wasn't like the kiss from only moments ago. This kiss was full of longing, all of my years waiting for this moment, all pent up in this one kiss. I wanted her like I had never wanted anything in my life.

"Bella,.. I need you, baby." I groaned against her lips, as my hands frantically moved to pull her shirt from her body.

"Mmmm,...I'm all yours, E," she whispered, running her fingers through my hair.

Throwing her shirt somewhere behind us, I reached around her and unclasped her bra. Leaning back, I watched as it slowly slid down her milky white shoulders until her beautiful round breasts were bare before me.

My breath caught at the sight of her and every part of my body trembled in anticipation of being inside of her. I wrapped my arms under her legs and lifted us to a standing position. I started towards the bedroom down the hall as she reached down and pulled my shirt from me, dropping it to the floor. Her fingers trailed down my chest to my jeans, popping the button and sliding her hand inside my boxers. Wrapping her fingers around my aching cock, my knees nearly gave out at the sensation of her touch.

"Fuck, angel,.." I groaned, as I stopped in my tracks, pushing her up against the wall to regain my composure before I dropped her, and kissed her again. Unfortunately, kissing her did nothing for my composure. The taste of her on my lips made the ache in my cock that much stronger.

I couldn't wait till we got to the bedroom, I needed her now, like I needed air to breath. So I reached down between us, springing my dick free from my pants, and reached under her skirt, ripping her panties from her. I pushed myself into her as far as I could go, nearly putting her through the wall in the process. Both of us screamed out loud from the feeling of it, and I had to pause for a moment just to keep from coming right there.

"So good, don't stop please..." she begged.

I had no choice but to comply, I would deny her nothing. So I started moving slowly in and out of her, her pussy was so wet, so warm, so tight. Damn, if I could stay buried in her like this forever, God knows I would. But my dick had other plans, and before I knew it I was on the edge again, just barely hanging on.

"B, I'm going to cum baby, so close..." I groaned.

Just as I said that, I exploded inside of her. My orgasm was so intense, I swear to all that is holy that I saw stars, and my knees nearly gave out again.

"Oh God, E,..." I heard her moan as she felt my hot liquid spill into her, sending her over the edge of blissful pleasure too.

I watched as her orgasm took over her body, and fuck, if it wasn't the sexiest thing I have ever seen. Her body writhed and she called out my name over and over, instantly making my dick hard again.

I stood there for a long time, holding her, both of us trying to come down from the high of our orgasm. When I was sure I could move without falling on my ass, I lowered her down on her feet and bent over, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"That was...incredible," I said with a smirk.

She smiled and looked down at my still rock-hard cock, reached out and wrapped her hand around it, and looked up at me with a devilish look in her eyes.

"It was...ready for round two?" she asked, with a sultry voice, never taking her hand of my dick, and pulling me towards the bedroom.

Several rounds later, I found myself lying next to Bella as she slept peacefully. I had no intentions of sleeping. This had been the best night of my life, and the longer I could stay awake to relish in it the better.

The only woman I have ever really loved agreed to become my wife tonight. I never wanted to forget what it felt like when she said yes, because it was the first time in my life that I didn't question whether or not I deserved to be happy. She wanted me as much as I wanted her, and who was I to think that there could ever be any wrong in that.

After watching her for awhile and not wanting to wake her, I rolled out of bed as quietly as I possibly could, which was not fucking easy, considering my body felt like it had just run a marathon, and damn if my dick didn't get hard again just at the thought of having her one more time.

"Down, boy," I whispered looking down at my cock, as I grabbed my jeans off the floor and slid them on. On my way out of the bedroom I picked up my guitar, which hadn't been touched in far too long, and made my way out to the living room.

I sat down on the couch with my guitar in hand, in front of the barely burning fire, and thought about everything that had happened tonight. And before I knew it, my fingers were playing the notes to a familiar tune, one that I had heard so much lately, one that expressed exactly what I was feeling right now.

~X~

~Bella~

I woke up to the sound of music coming from down the hall. At first I thought I was dreaming, it had been so long since I had heard Edward play his guitar, but as I heard his voice start to sing that beautiful song, I realized it wasn't a dream and quickly slid out of bed. Not even taking the time to put clothes on, I walked down the hall, stopping just as I got to the living room, so I could watch and listen to him without startling him.

Forever can never be long enough for me, to
Feel like I've had long enough with you.
Forget the world now we won't let them see,
But there's one thing left to do.

Now that the weight has lifted.
Love has surely shifted my way.
Marry me,
today and every day.
Marry me,
If I ever get the nerve to say
Hello in this cafe.
Say you will.
Mm-hmm
Say you will.
Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me, to
Feel like I am close enough to you.
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
and you're beautiful.
Now that the wait is over
and love and has finally shown her my way.
Marry me,
today and every day
Marry me,
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe.
Say you will.
Mm-hmm
Say you will.
Mm-hmm

Promise me,
you'll always be,
happy by my side.
I promise to,
sing to you,
when all the music dies.
Marry me,
today and everyday.
Marry me,
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe.
Say you will.
Mm-hmm
Say you will.
Marry me
Mm-hmm

I stood there as the last note slipped from his lips, tears filling my eyes. I was the luckiest woman in the world to know that this beautiful man loved me enough to want to spend the rest of his life with me. After everything that we had been through, it was really a dream come true to find myself here in this moment.

"You look amazing standing there like that, in the moonlight." I heard him say, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Oh Edward," I said, as the tears spilled over and I reached up, wrapping my arms around him. "That was beautiful."

"Yeah, well my inspiration for it wasn't half bad, either," he smirked, eyeing my naked form.

I loved to see him like this, it was so different than the usual broken man I was used to seeing. And to know that I may have played a part, however big or small, in making him happy, was an incredible feeling.

"I love you, E," I whispered.

"I love you too, angel," he replied, reaching in his pocket. "Oh, I almost forgot about this. Happy Birthday, baby," he smiled, dangling a silver bracelet in front of my face that was an exact match to the necklace he had given me of his mother's.

"Edward, it's..." I started to say, as he brought his finger up, placing it on my lips.

"Shhh...hold out your wrist, sweetheart."

I did as he asked, and he wrapped the bracelet around my wrist and clasped it, turning it around so I could see the silver heart-shaped locket dangling from it, and the inscription on it.

Bella,

From my

darkness,

comes

your light.

"I-I don't know what to say," I whispered.

"Don't say anything angel, just kiss me," he replied, reaching down, picking me up, and carrying me back towards the bedroom.