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A/N I have chosen to include my outtake "Remember Me" with this chapter because if you haven't read it, then this chapter won't make much sense to you.

"Remember Me" was done in Elizabeth's POV and gives a glimpse inside her troubled mind.

This "From The Darkness Comes Light" outtake was written by me for Fandom Against Domestic Violence. Thank you so much to my talented friends Melissa (Chloe Masen) if you haven't checked out her stories yet please do so here: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2550314/Chloe_Masen and my beautiful proof reader TwiMoments (Jackie), without you guys I would be lost.

As always, thank you to my readers, please leave some love or hate, either way I will forever appreciate your feedback! xoxo

~x~

'From The Darkness Comes Light'

A Twilight Fan Fiction

By: DreamsOfEdward1

Outtake:

~Remember Me~

A Mother's Pain

The cold cuts through me
My own blood coats me
I want to feel warm
But all I can do is weep

He beats me, breaks me,
Leaves me hurt and defeated
Alone and depressed
I beg for forgiveness, but he isn't impressed

The gun shot
The smile on a young child's face
The light from his eyes grow cold
As he lies dying in my arms

Sirens in the night
The screams of a young boy begging for my love
As I accuse him and blame him for the death
Of a man who would have killed me

I gave up on him
I walked away
A regret I live with everyday
My punishment

His silky hair and bright green eyes
The tears he cried
The night he took his father's life
To save mine

Now I sit alone
In a dark hotel room
A bottle as my only friend
Wishing I could hold him again

The night grows cold
I know I can't hold on anymore
Death…my only escape
My last words…

I love you

Poem written by: DreamsOfEdward1

.

~x~

~Elizabeth Masen~

I sat here taking in the surroundings of this dark and dingy motel room, pen in hand over a sheet of paper, but I had yet to write a single word. After all, what the hell was I supposed to say that would ever explain to my boys how truly sorry I was for all the pain I had brought into their lives. How would I ever make them see the regret that had shattered my world into a thousand pieces?

I can still see him in the back of that police car, so little, so scared, the weight of the world on his shoulders. The expression on that sweet angel's face and the pain in his beautiful green eyes as he watched me, his own mother, tell him I never wanted to see him again. It haunts me to this day. If I had been a real mother, the one he deserved, I would have fucking taken him in my arms, and praised God for sending me this little angel who had just saved my life.

I couldn't see it though, not then anyway, not when it mattered the most. No, not even the next day. Not even when I signed the papers, essentially giving up the only good that had ever come from my life. My two boys should have been my priority. They should have been the only thing I was concerned about, but I was too much of a damn fool to see that.

I was lost in some fantasy world, where somehow I believed that, despite how many times this man had beaten me up, or put me in the hospital, or threatened his own children, that he did it all out of love. If anyone was to blame for it all, it was me for being the less than perfect wife. I made myself believe that I deserved the punishment. If I were a better wife, a better person, then maybe I would deserve him.

Sighing and wiping the tears from my eyes, I stood and walked over to the window. I pushed back the curtains to see that the sun was finally setting. It's funny the things you notice at a time like this. I don't think I've ever realized before how beautiful a sunset can actually be. Even through this dirty-ass window, I can still see the amazing reds, yellows and oranges lingering in the sky. The beginning of an end.

Looking out, I can't help but wonder where they are, somewhere out there in this big world. My mind drifts to the thought of how their lives turned out, wondering whether or not they are happy; and if they've found their places in this world we call a life.

I can imagine that they ended up in the loving arms of someone they could really call a mother. That she raised them with nothing but love in her heart, and that they turned out okay, despite what they had endured in their young lives. I find myself envying her. She had the opportunity to watch my sweet angels become young men; and she would continue to watch them through their lives, guiding them as they became husbands, and eventually fathers.

Thinking of their children quite literally broke my heart. I could imagine Edward's green eyes, my green eyes, staring back at me in the face of a blonde little girl. Her sweet smile lighting her little baby face. But I would never get the chance to meet my grandchildren, and that was my penance for the things I had done to my children's lives.

Closing the curtain, I made my way back over to the table, where the still-empty piece of paper lay. I glanced down at the page, desperately trying to will myself to find the words, with nothing coming to me. I looked up, noticing my haggard appearance in the bathroom mirror, the outside finally reflecting the inside. The shell of the young eager woman I used to be, so sure of myself, my entire life still before me. If I only knew then, what I know now...if only.

Sitting back down, I grabbed the pen again, and stared mindlessly at the paper where I was supposed to somehow put what I was feeling into words. Suddenly, I was looking into the face of a blond-haired, blue-eyed young man who was the mirror image of the man that lay dead on my kitchen floor, just a few feet from where we were standing. He was screaming at me, tears streaming down his face, "How could you do this to Edward, Mom? How could you do this to him?" he cried. "Do you have any idea what he did for you tonight? Any clue what you're putting him through right now? He's your damn son, and you just cast him aside as though what he's done means nothing to you! You make me sick!" he growled, hatred pouring off of him. "You have no right to call yourself his mother!"

I couldn't hear what he was telling me though. I didn't want to hear it. All I could do was picture the only man I had ever loved, dead before me. All I knew was that beautiful little green-eyed boy, who was my son, had put him there. I was too far gone. I was delusional enough to believe that little boy was the monster, not the man he had put a bullet into, to save me.

I watched in a daze as Jasper just shook his head at me in disgust and walked away towards his brother in that police car. Little did I realize at the time, but a part of me died inside when I saw them make eye contact, realizing that, without words, they were forced to say goodbye to each other; and I made no attempt to stop what was happening to them. I brought my hand up and covered my mouth as the tears started to fall again, when the sudden realization hit me that they may have never seen each other again after that night. Of course I had imagined they had, because I couldn't face it if they hadn't. The thought of little Edward alone, without his big brother to look out for him, nearly brought me to my knees. Realistically though, I would never know for sure, and that was something I would never forgive myself for…

I glanced down at the tear-stained paper which now contained one single letter "I" and looked away again. I set the pen down, stood, and walked over to the battered wooden dresser in the corner of the room. It contained the only two possessions I'd brought with me to this place, the only two possessions I would need for the rest of my life. One of which was a full bottle of vodka.

I unwrapped the plastic cup sitting to the left of the bottle, poured a large amount into the cup, and brought it to my lips. The clear liquid didn't even burn anymore as it traveled down my throat. I'd been drinking it for so long now that I was completely desensitized to its sting. It had been my only friend for as long as I could remember, and now I cherished its effects on my body.

Having poured myself another large cup, I placed the lid back on the bottle and walked over to the bed. I took a big swig and set the cup down. As I lay back on the bed, I blankly stared at the ceiling. I'd gone to the adoption agency many times, yet never actually stepped foot inside. I don't know what I actually expected to learn by going there. I just knew at times the desire to know whether or not they were okay was so overpowering that I'd find myself there, but never found the courage to walk through the door.

Edward would be eighteen years old this year, and Jasper twenty. It was hard to believe so much time had passed since I'd last seen them. My baby boys were now men, on the cusp of life.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block the memories that now threatened to come crashing in. Upon opening my eyes again, I was no longer in that disgusting motel room. I found myself kneeling on the floor of our old kitchen, holding what was now my dead husband in my arms. I was barely able to see out of my right eye because it was nearly swollen shut from the blows I had taken from him. My clothes were ripped and soaked with his blood, and the gun that took his life lay at my feet next to him.

I look up to see a pair of frightened green eyes staring at me, begging me to save him from this nightmare. Instead of rushing to the child and protecting him like a good mother should, I was overtaken by anger and disgust. I was incapable of feeling the love and adoration for this little angel, who had most certainly just saved my life. I hated him. I literally hated my own son. He had just taken from me the only man I had ever loved, the only man in my eyes who would ever love me back.

"Edward, what have you done?" I screamed, "What have you done?" The fear leaving his eyes was suddenly replaced with utter sadness, clearly not over what he had just done, but over my reaction to it.

In an instant, as I sat there screaming at him, I watched his childhood slip away. Those sad little green pools became hollow, and the tears that had threatened to fall from them were gone. Complete devastation overtook him as the police entered the house, and pulled him to his feet and outside. Thirteen years old and he had been brave enough to put my life before his, to take the life of his own father to save me; and I had done nothing to comfort him. Nothing to tell him everything would be okay, nothing that a normal mother would have done.

It was too late. I was too far gone to ever be considered a normal mother. So lost in the fantasy, that the only thing that mattered now was that the man that I loved was gone, and that little green-eyed monster had just taken him from me. I sat there for what seemed like hours holding my dead husband, but in reality it was only a few moments. I kept replaying in my head the entire night, and everything I should have done that would have prevented this from happening.

He'd come home angry because I'd been late getting home from work, and didn't have his supper ready.

First mistake of many.

I saw little Edward out of the corner of my eye from the kitchen. Little Edward always had a habit of watching me cook. He was such an endearing child, but on this night he sat there watching his father's every move. He watched his father move towards me in the kitchen, almost as though he were stalking a prey. I could see that there wasn't the normal fear in those green eyes that was usually there when his father was in the house. No, not tonight. Tonight there was something different behind those eyes. He had the look of a man, not a child. A look that was…the only way I could describe it would be, determined.

I shook my head at him, silently warning him to stay where he was, not because I feared for his safety, no, that would have been a normal mother's reaction; but because the look in his eyes told me that tonight would be different, that he would not let it end the way so many other nights had. He didn't see me though; he was completely focused on his father. With each step his father took towards me, he stepped towards his father. Stopping only just in the kitchen to reach above the refrigerator and grab something; oh my god, is that a gun? I thought.

As his father was screaming at me and raising his hand to hit me for what seemed like the billionth time, Edward raised that gun and pointed it at his father. I couldn't speak. It all seemed to happen so fast that my brain and mouth couldn't connect the dots, until it was too late.

Just as his father's hand was about to make contact with my face, Edward screamed at him, letting him know he wouldn't be touching me again. He was right. His father lost all interest in me and made a sudden move towards Edward, who stood there with that look of determination so clear in his eyes.

His father just laughed, never imagining that this little boy, his little boy, would have the nerve to put a bullet in him to stop him. Everything is a blur now. I look over to Edward as his father takes one final step towards him, he screams something at him. I don't hear what he says, though. I'm too focused on the smile that has now spread across Edward's face, and then I hear the gunshot. I watch in slow motion as my husband's body falls to the ground in front of me with a thud.

My eyes fly open and I'm back in the present, covered in sweat, tears streaming down my face. I hear my own screams echoing in this cold motel room-"It should have been me...It should have been me"...I chant over and over. "No, Edward, it should have been me." I see his green eyes start to fade away and reach out to touch him one last time, realizing he was never really there. I bring my hand up to wipe the tears from my face, "Oh, God, it should have been me."

Slowly I sit up, gasping for breath, trying to grasp on to what sanity I have left. All these years, all this pain, and it all comes down to one thing, fate. It should have been me that died that night. How much pain and misery would have been avoided? How many lives left unbroken, if it had only been me. If not for that beautiful little green-eyed boy, it would have been me. He and his brother could have gone through their lives with their hearts unbroken, because they never would have had to doubt for one second whether or not their mother loved them.

Standing, I am more determined than ever. I'm going to fix what fate fucked up all those years ago. I walk back over to the dresser, grab the vodka, and the last remaining possession I have left in this life; the bottle of pills that will right what's been wrong for so long.

Walking back over to the note I've yet to finish, I realize sitting down, there is nothing I can really say that will ever be enough to fully explain to them the things I've done or the choices that I've made. I can make one thing very clear for them, so they never have to doubt it again. I pick up the pen and finish the sentence on the page "I love you." It's simple, but true. Through everything, it's the one constant that's never changed. I just couldn't see it before, through my broken body and battered heart, but it was always there. Always living and breathing, just under the surface of it all.

I set the pen back down with a shaky hand, take the cap off the vodka, and empty the entire bottle of pills into my hand. I put them in my mouth and swallow...

The sun is shining, and in the distance, I see them running towards me, smiles on their beautiful little faces. I kneel down, arms open wide, and scoop them up just as we collide with each other, hugging them tight to me. I whisper to them with tears in my eyes, "I love you."

I watch them fade away as the blackness takes hold of me. My final words lingering on my lips, "Please, remember me."

~end of outtake~

~Chapter 17~

~The Beginning of the End ~

~Jasper~

"Fuck! Where is that noise coming from?" I reached up, grabbing my head, which was throbbing and turned in the direction of that incredibly loud buzzing sound. Realizing it was my cell vibrating on the bedside table, I reached for it, nearly knocking everything off in the process.

"Yeah," I answered roughly.

"Jasper? You okay, son?" I could barely hear the voice say over my pounding head.

"Dad? What is it? What's wrong?" I asked, glancing at the clock and noticing it was just barely seven in the morning.

"I'm sorry to call you so early, son, but I really need you to come over as soon as possible," he replied.

"Is it mom? Did something happen?" I choked out in a panic.

"No, she's fine, this has nothing to do with her. I just really need to see you and Edward right away," he replied.

My stomach was now churning and I felt an immediate need to throw up, so I started to slide out of the bed and in my haste to get to the bathroom before I puked all over everything, I bumped up against something soft and warm laying in the bed next to me.

Suddenly I was rushed with a flood of memories from last night...Alice is gone...drinking a lot...Alice is never coming back...crying a lot...drinking more...Mary. "Oh shit!" I screamed out "What have I done?"

"Son,.. Jasper, what's wrong?" I heard Carlisle screaming into the phone, pulling me from my regrets.

Remembering last night, in full detail now, made me even sicker to my stomach.

"It's nothing. I have to go, I'll be there as soon as I can get there," I said in a rush and probably more abrupt than I would have liked to be with my dad, as I hung up the phone, throwing it on the bed.

I crept into the bathroom as quietly as I could, still half drunk and incredibly hung over, and planted myself in front of the toilet. How could I let this happen? I care about her, she isn't some nameless whore. She deserves better. As I am sitting there drowning in my own misery, I hear her voice. "Jasper, are you okay?" she asks. Worry lacing her expression, as she bends over and brushes the hair out of my face.

"Mary, I-I..." I stutter, reaching up and taking her hand in mine.

"What is it?" she asks, kneeling down in front of me.

"I'm so sorry,.." I choke out, burying my face in my hand.

"Jasper, what are you sorry for?" she questions, pulling my head up to look into my eyes.

"F-for last night, for e-everything."

Realization dawned on her face, and then her expression turned to one of pain, as she stood up, backing away from me.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Jasper?" she asked angrily, with tears in her eyes.

Now it was my turn, realizing that my words were not as sensitive as they could have been. I somehow managed to make it to a standing position and moved towards her, as she turned towards the bedroom.

"Mary, wait, I didn't mean it like that, please stop," I begged as she grabbed her clothes and threw them on without saying another word and headed right for the front door.

She turned just before stepping out, and the expression on her face just about knocked me over. "You know, Jasper, it's been a year since you lost Alice, since we all lost her. I have waited patiently, I have tried to be here for you through your shifting moods and binge drinking, and in that process may have even fallen in love with you. But It's so clear now, it's all been a complete waste of my time," she cried.

"Mary, please don't say that, I'm sorry you misunderstood..." she cut me off with one final blow.

"No, Jasper, I didn't misunderstand anything. It really is crystal clear, I will never be what you need. You know why?"

I didn't want this to go on, but I couldn't help myself. "Why?" I asked, barely able to breathe, between my head pounding, my stomach doing somersaults, and the pain I have caused her unintentionally; I was about to have a serious fucking panic attack.

"I will never be her, and I'm tired of competing with a ghost!" she said angrily, walking out the door and slamming it behind her.

I backed up against the wall just inside the door and slid down until my ass hit the floor hard. "What have I done?" I asked no one but myself, as I buried my face in my hands. "

~Edward~

She said yes...

She loves me...

She wants to spend the rest of her life with me...

Sitting here in this rocking chair in the corner of the room, these are the only thoughts I can think at the moment. I've been planted here for what feels like hours watching Bella sleep peacefully in the bed across from me, where we gave ourselves to each other completely over and over again last night.

I'm not sure how long I've actually been sitting here, but I know it's been awhile when the sunlight starts to creep in through the window. I didn't even attempt to sleep, I knew it was pointless anyway. Even though my body was exhausted from last night's events, my mind and heart were not; in fact, if I had to rely only on them and not my body to function, I'm sure I could ride the high of last night for days without sleep.

My cell starts to ring from across the room, and I jump to my feet, stumbling toward it, trying to reach it before it wakes Bella.

"Hello," I answer without even looking to see who it is that's calling.

The clock says just after seven, it's probably Esme calling to see how last night went.

"Edward?" I hear his voice say.

"Carlisle?...is there something wrong?" I asked, rarely does Carlisle pick up the phone without cause, so I immediately assumed the worst.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I wouldn't bother you now if this were not important. I've already spoken to Jasper, I need the two of you to come to the house as soon as possible. There are some things we need to discuss."

"Dad, can't this wait, I mean I can't just leave Bella..."

"No, Edward, it has to be now. I'm sorry again, but this really can't wait!" he abruptly cut me off.

"Okay...Okay, Just let me get dressed, and I'll head back into town."

"Thank you, son, see you soon," he said, hanging up the phone.

I stared at the phone for a minute, and I knew Carlisle would never bother me now if this weren't serious. I set the phone back down on the table and crawled into bed next to Bella, reaching over and gently shaking her until she rolled over to look at me.

"Morning,.." she said smiling.

"Morning, angel," I replied, smiling back at her. "I'm sorry to wake you, but I have to head back into town for a bit. Carlisle just called. Something's happened, and he asked Jasper and I to come to the house."

"What is it?" she asked with concern.

"That's just it, he won't say. So I don't think I should keep him waiting."

"No, you shouldn't. Go, I'll wait here for you to come back," she said, reaching up and brushing my cheek with her fingers."

I grabbed her hand from my face and brought it to my lips, kissing it gently. "I'll be back as soon as possible, I promise"

"Take all the time you need, baby, I'll be right here waiting for you."

Damn it, I hated the fact that I had to leave, especially now that my dick was standing at full attention again with her words. I didn't have a fucking choice though, so I kissed her hand again and crawled back out of bed, throwing my clothes back on as I headed out of the room.

"Edward,..." she called out to me.

"Yes, angel?" I asked.

"On second thought...don't take too long," she replied in a sultry voice that just about made me say, "Fuck it!" and turn around. But I couldn't do that, not to Carlisle.

"Oh, I won't, I promise angel," I called out, as I was already sprinting for the door.

~Carlisle~

I sat in the chair across from the detective, watching him tap his foot, as he waited, like me, for the boys to arrive. The only information I could get out of him was that this visit had to do with Edward and Jasper, and their real mother, Elizabeth. Which, to be quite honest, was making me incredibly tense and weary about how this would turn out.

It was silly of me to call them the boys still, when they had so clearly grown into brilliant young men and doctors. But it was hard, even now, not to picture those broken little faces staring back at me from all those years ago. Lost and alone, abandoned by a mother who had suffered so much abuse at the hands of their own father that she had been deduced to a madwoman. I mean, how else could you explain her lack of love and compassion for her own children, even after what Edward had done to save her life on that terrible night.

Giving them up for adoption would not be the final blow she dealt them though; no, that would come a few years later. When, instead of doing what a real mother should have done, which was to seek out her children that she had so coldly dispensed of, and show them that they were really loved and adored. She took the road that only her madness could have shown her by swallowing a bottle of pills and essentially fracturing any remains of hope still lingering in their hearts.

I will never forget the look in Edward's eyes the morning I had to tell him that his mother was gone. I know up until that moment, he held out hope that the mother he remembered from his early childhood, would come back and profess her love for him.

He's carried so much weight on his shoulders since the night his father died. Not only did he have to live with knowing he was the one that pulled the trigger that ended his father's life; but he also lived with the guilt every day that his mother, who should have taken him in her arms that night and thanked God for him, instead pushed him away as though he were the monster and not his father. Thus, her actions effectively destroyed any chance that Edward may have had to properly recover from the choice he had to make that night.

I brought my hands up, rubbing my eyes. Even after all this time, it was still hard to stop the tears from falling for that little green-eyed boy.

And then there was Jasper, who in some ways had suffered even more destruction than Edward. He never stopped feeling guilty that he wasn't there that night, to make that terrible choice himself instead of his little brother having to do it. But above all else, Jasper carried hate in his young heart. He never had the hope that Edward did when it came to their mother. He saw the cold emptiness in her eyes that night, he knew she would never see the gift that Edward had just given her. He was aware, even then, that she was damaged beyond repair, and he hated her for it.

The news of her suicide brought no emotion out in him whatsoever, because in his eyes his mother died that night along with his father. He never understood Edward's love for her after what she had done to them. It disgusted him to know that his brother suffered so much because of her, and that made him hate her all the more.

I heard a throat clear in the distance, "You alright, Mr. Cullen?" the detective asked.

"I don't know, Detective Connelly. I guess I won't know that until you tell me what this visit is really about. These boys have suffered so much already, I just don't see the point in dredging up the past unnecessarily. Especially now that they are finally getting past everything that happened."

"I understand how you feel, Mr. Cullen, I really do."

"Do you? Do you really understand the trauma they have been through?" I asked angrily.

"I am very aware of their situation. I have thoroughly been over their case file, along with their mother's. So, yes, sir, I do believe I understand," he replied coldly.

"They are not just a case file to me, Detective, they are living, breathing human beings, who for once in their lives deserve some compassion for the shit that they have had to endure," I yelled. I couldn't help myself. The stress of knowing that I may have summoned Edward and Jasper here only to have their past thrown in their faces again was becoming too much to bear.

"Mr. Cullen, I assure you, I hold nothing but compassion for their situation. I would not be here if I didn't," he tried to reassure me, to no avail.

"Can't you just give me some idea of what this is about?" I begged, jumping to my feet and pacing the floor in front of him.

"No, I'm sorry," he replied, reaching up and running his fingers through his hair. "This information needs to be shared only when they are present. Sir, again, please try to understand I am not here to cause them undue pain. I am simply here to deliver something that is rightfully theirs, something that they should have been given right after their mother's death."

Just as he finished his sentence, the front door opened and in walked Jasper. He looked like hell, and I was pretty sure I knew why. "Jasper, you look terrible. You alright?" I asked, as he made his way into the living room.

"I'm fine, Dad, what's this about?" he said, glancing toward Detective Connelly sitting in the chair."

"I'm afraid we'll have to wait for your brother to get here, before we can find that out," I replied, eyeing the detective cautiously.

The detective stood up and walked towards Jasper to shake his hand. I couldn't help but notice that the detective looked to be about the same age as Jasper. "Jasper Cullen, my name is Detective Connelly. I'm here on behalf of the Port Angeles Police Department, sir."

Jasper reluctantly took his hand, looking at him curiously. "What's this about, Detective?" he questioned.

"I promise, sir, as soon as your brother Edward arrives, we'll get this over with," he replied, sitting back down in the chair and pulling a torn piece of paper out of a manila folder.

Jasper watched the detective for a minute longer then moved past me towards the kitchen. "I need some aspirin and some water," he grumbled as he went by.

Just as Jasper came back out of the kitchen, Edward walked through the front door. He had a huge smile on his face, and Jasper and I both stared at him in awe. This was not the Edward we were used to seeing. I walked over to him, hugging him.

"Morning, son, good night last night?" I chuckled, wrapping my arms around him.

"She said yes, dad," he replied, unable to contain his joy.

"Congratulations, son, I'm so happy for the two of you," I whispered, letting him go.

Jasper walked up to Edward, reached up and patted him on the shoulder. "I told you, man, never a reason to doubt that she would, right? Congratulations, little bro," he said, forcing a smile on his face.

"Yeah, thanks," Edward said, smirking. "You look like shit, Jasper, everything okay?"

"I don't know, ask me that after we find out what this is about," Jasper replied, turning towards the detective once more.

"Who's this?" Edward asked, noticing Detective Connelly, as he stood and made his way over to him.

"Edward Cullen, I'm Detective Connelly, Port Angeles PD. Pleased to meet you," he said, holding out his hand to Edward.

Edward reached out and reluctantly took his hand. "Yeah, nice to meet you, too. What's this about?" he asked.

"I'm sorry to bother you all so early on a Sunday morning, but a few weeks ago I was charged with cleaning up some old case files; and I came across the file belonging to your mother, Elizabeth Masen."

Edward gasped and backed up, sitting down in the chair without saying a word. Jasper walked over to the detective with fire in his eyes. "Why the fuck would we give a shit about her case file?" he groaned.

"I apologize, sir, but you see, while going through her file I found this," he said wearily, holding out the torn piece of paper to Jasper. "After some investigating, I was able to come to the conclusion this was never shared with the two of you. And having been through a similar situation myself, I felt it was my duty to make sure this was delivered to its intended parties."

Jasper took the piece of paper in his hand and looked down at it, eyeing the words on the page. Edward watched Jasper as he read the mysterious words, until he couldn't contain himself any longer and stood, walking towards him. "What is it, Jasper? What does it say?" Edward asked impatiently.

Jasper looked up at the detective furiously, "Is this what I think it is?" he asked angrily, shoving the paper in the detective's chest.

Edward reached out and grabbed the paper before the detective even had a chance to respond. He looked down at the words on the page and stood there for a long while just staring at it.

"Yes," the detective finally said. "It's your mother's suicide letter. It was found still clasped in her hands the morning of her death," his voice barely audible.

Edward was grasping the paper so tightly, and his entire body was shaking. I walked over to where he was frozen and put my arm around his shoulder, glancing down at the words written in a very messy script on the tattered paper.

My dearest Jasper & Edward,

I love you.

…..were the only words written on the torn note.

Jasper immediately started shouting at the detective. "How dare you? How dare you bring this bullshit here after all this time? Do you honestly think we give a damn whether or not that fucking bitch loved us?" he screamed.

"I'm sorry, Jasper, yes I honestly believed it would be something you would want to know. You see, I too, lost my mother to suicide, but she left no note...no letter...no words at all to say that she gave a shit about me, her only son. So you'll forgive me if I felt it was necessary for the two of you to know that your mother's dying wish was to make sure her sons knew that she did love them."

"Really," Jasper spat, "You think some words on a page can take away all the pain she caused? All the years of misery suffered because of her, our so-called mother. I don't think so, this changes nothing!" he finished, as he turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

I moved to go after him, and Edward, awakening from his trance, reached up and grabbed my arm. "No, dad, let me," was all he said as he headed for the front door.

"As you wish, son," was all I could get out before he, too, was gone.

~Jasper~

I could hear Edward's footsteps behind me even before he grabbed my arm, trying to stop me. I know I should have been more sensitive to my little brother's needs before having stomped out of the house like that. I know that getting that note probably was the best thing that could have happened to him. He needed just once to hear that bitch say she loved him. He's craved it ever since the day she turned her back on him. But fuck, I am so tired of this fucking so-called mother of ours coming back to haunt every step we take in our lives.

"Jasper, please stop!"

"What is it, Edward? What do you want from me? I can't go back in there. I can't listen to another word about her," I groaned, turning around to look at him.

I could see it in his eyes, I was right, that note meant everything to him. Hell, he was still holding it in his hand, and as sick as this sounds, I wanted to punch him. I wanted to knock some God damn sense into him and make him see that that letter meant nothing. It didn't make her love real just because it was written down, to fucking love someone you have to show them everyday how much they mean to you. God, I hated her.

"Jasper," Edward said, pulling me from my murderous thoughts. "It's okay, ya know?

"What's okay, Edward? I asked snidely.

He opened his arms and wrapped them around me, "It's okay, to feel pain; it's okay to hate, even. But I know, Jasper, more than anyone else, that those words on that paper mean just as much to you as they do to me. You can't fool me, I know you better than anyone. I know this road that we have been down together, and I know what she did to us hurt you just as much as it did me. And this note," he said, as he released me and held it up in the air, "This note may not change what she did to us, but it shows that she died loving us."

I stood there wrapped in the arms of my little brother, my head and heart waging an internal battle with each other. How could he know the pain I suffered? I thought I was so good at hiding it, so good at never letting it show. In my heart were all the memories of the long nights locked away in my room, silently crying, begging God to bring her back to us, and in my heart lay all the pain of realizing that she never would. I wanted to hate her, it was so much easier than believing that she could have loved us and still walked away from us.

"Edward I-I,..." I began to falter.

It became hard for me to breathe, my heart started to race and my body started to tremble, and before I knew it, the tears were falling so heavily I could barely see. I held onto Edward, terrified that letting him go would cause me to lose my last shreds of sanity.

"It's okay, Jasper, let it go," Edward choked out, pulling me tighter.

A few minutes later, Edward tried to pull away, but I was reluctant to let him go, until I heard her voice.

"Jasper," she whispered, as Edward backed away and she wrapped her arms around me.

I looked up at Edward one last time before he disappeared into the house, and for the first time since that night all those years ago I didn't see sadness lingering in his eyes.

With Edward gone, I was left standing there holding this beautiful woman in my arms. A few hours ago I was sure I had pushed her away for good. But today it seems I have been given yet another gift. First, the gift of realizing that, although my mother had been broken, somewhere deep in her battered heart, she did love me. Now I am given the gift of realizing that Mary isn't here to replace Alice in my life, she's here to show me that my ability to love again didn't die that night with her.

I pulled her in as close as possible, and whispered, "I love you." in her ear.