Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA. If I did, Nate would be in it more and there would be more shipping moments.

4: And This Little Piggie Went to Market

"What about her?"

"No."

"Him?"

"No?"

"Come on Kens," Deeks turned to his partner imploringly. "Work with me here."

"Fine," Kensi snapped, crossing her arms. "Him. Your two o'clock."

Deeks glanced at the man in the black suit she'd chosen. "A lawyer? Don't you think that's a bit cliché?"

"I hate lawyers," Kensi said over her shoulder as she ambled, hips swinging, towards her target.

"I'm a lawyer," Deeks reminded her as he hurried after her.

Kensi smirked, "Case in point."

"Come on Princess, you know you love me," Deeks tugged at her hand, his voice rising.

She caught onto what he was doing immediately. "I said no, Jeremy," She yanked her hand out of his grasp. Out of the corner of her eye she watched people stare at their outburst.

"But… but," Deeks stammered. "I love you!" He gave her a smouldering look that he swore made women weak at the knees.

"You cheated on me!" Kensi yelled, getting into the role of the angry girlfriend. Not that it took much to pretend she was angry with Deeks.

"I didn't mean to! She kissed me."

"Whatever, I'm out of here," Kensi turned, almost running away. As she moved, she collided with the lawyer. "Sorry," She mumbled as her fingers deftly delved into his pocket and removed his wallet.

"It's ok," He replied, his eyes falling just below her face.

Kensi fought the urge to roll her eyes as she walked away. Men.

"You have a thing about people cheating on you, don't you?' Deeks leant against their car, waiting for her.

"It makes a scene," Kensi shrugged.

"Yeah," Deeks nodded. "An old lady hit me with her bag and said I was despicably deplorable."

"Do you even know what that means?"

"I did pass my SATs, thank you very much."

"You didn't answer the question," Kensi said as she got into the drivers seat.

"You're deplorable," Deeks retorted and grabbed at the roof of the 4WD for support as she swung wildly out of the car park. "And you're driving is despicable."

NCIS:LA. NCIS:LA. NCIS: LA.

Deeks tossed another chocolate bar into the trolley. "Now we've got the five food groups: Chocolate, rum, beer, scotch and cheerios. Can we go now?" They walked down the junk food aisle of a small supermarket, picking out random items.

"No. Sam would kill us if we came back with this," Kensi said as she kept walking. "And they are not the five food groups."

"They work for me," Deeks shrugged.

Kensi poked his stomach, "Not entirely," She smirked a little at his indignant reaction.

"At least I'm not the one that eats my feelings."

"I do not," Kensi bristled.

"You know the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem."

"Did they teach you that in Annoying People Anonymous?" Kensi asked with fake cheerfulness.

"Ha ha, very funny," Deeks rolled his eyes. "What else do we need?" He changed the topic.

"Food. Healthy stuff probably or Sam will throw a fit," Kensi leant on the bar of the trolley as she turned into the next aisle. "Pasta's good."

"Pasta it is," Deeks grabbed a couple of packets of penne off the shelf. "I just realised – we don't have a microwave. How are we going to cook?"

"Well, there's this thing called an oven and its friend is called stove," Kensi said sardonically.

"Oh, so you can cook can you?" Deeks asked, knowing full well his partner burnt water.

"Hell no. But Nell can. Sam's pretty good too."

"Nell cooks?" Deeks asked, surprised. He didn't know much about the intelligence analyst. "And how do you know that?"

"We've had dinner together a few times," Kensi shrugged nonchalantly.

"And you didn't invite me?" He stuck out his bottom lip, faking sad.

"It was a girl's night," Kensi put a hand to her head. "Oh sorry, you're right. We should have invited you."

Deeks rolled his eyes. "Mocker."

"Sulker," Kensi retorted lightly, picking up a packet of spaghetti.

"So what do you do on these girls nights?" He siddled up to her. "Braid each other's hair, do manicures, tell dirty stories?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"I have so many images in my head right now."

Kensi shook her head. "Urg, I don't want to know."

"What about this?" Deeks held up a packet of instant macaroni and cheese. "I love this."

"It's got the alphabet on it," Kensi frowned. "How old are you?"

"Well," he drawled, "I got mistaken for a 25 year old last Saturday night."

"And how drunk was that co-ed?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Pretty smashed," He admitted. "But it still counts. And we're still buying it," Deeks took out the wallet they'd 'borrowed'. "Or rather Chester Westfield is buying it."

Kensi checked her watch, "We're running late. You finish up here and I'll grab the car."

"Yeah, leave me to do all the hard work.

"Well, I don't look like a Chester," She retorted and left before he could say anything.

Deeks looked down at the bright blue packet, "Looks like it's just you and me. Like always."

NCIS: LA. NCIS: LA. NCIS:LA

Kensi jogged down the road by the supermarket she'd left at the mercy of Deeks. They couldn't steal a car from there – it could make a pattern that someone could track. She turned down a small side street and smiled at what she saw practically calling for her. Sometimes it was just too good.

Fun time.

NCIS: LA. NCIS: LA. NCIS:LA

Deeks walked out of the supermarket, pushing the nearly overflowing trolley. He paused, looking for his partner.

"Over here!" He heard Kensi call.

He turned to look and his jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw what she was driving. "You've got to be kidding me."

A multicoloured, patterned hippie van was parked opposite him and his straight laced partner was sitting inside, smiling widly at him. It was like something from one of his nightmares.

"Hurry up," She yelled at him. "We haven't got all day."

"What happened to flying under the radar?" Deeks asked as he strode over.

Kensi shrugged, "Sometimes standing out works better."

"Yeah, I'll let you explain that to Callen."

A/N: I don't like how this one turned out. I blame the 5000 word report on discourses and reader positioning. (If you have no idea what those words mean, consider yourself lucky.) I have a better idea for Sam and Callen shopping though. (grins evily) Though the next update will be something different. Anyway, reviews are like chocolate chip cookies. You can never ever have enough.