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5: What Dreams Are Made Of

Callen leant against the doorframe, arms folded, watching. Nell sat cross-legged on the floor, opposite the fireplace, staring into the flickering light. She hadn't moved a muscle in the five minutes he'd been watching, making him worry more. Kensi had mentioned that the analyst was quieter than usual and barely sleeping.

"You're up late," He said softly. She jumped visibly but didn't scream. Callen was glad for that – Eric would have given him an earful. "Normally I'm the only one crazy enough to be up this late. Or early, depending on how you look at it."

"Couldn't sleep," She couldn't meet his eyes either; she kept them focused on the fire in front of her.

Callen settled himself on the sofa. "Insomnia. Welcome to the club."

"Is there a T-shirt?" Nell asked sarcastically before backpedalling. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…" She turned to face him and he could see the tear tracks running down her face.

"It's fine," Callen smiled reassuringly. "Sarcasm is what I'm used to."

She fell silent, her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment.

"You know talking helps," Callen said suddenly.

"Did Nate tell you that?" Nell looked at him.

"Probably. Sounds like something he'd say," Callen shrugged. "I've had to deal with a lot of shrinks."

"Did it help? Talking?"

"Kinda. Getting completely hammered also worked."

She smiled a little, "I'm guessing that wasn't Nate's idea."

"No," Callen returned her smile. "But it worked. For a day or two. I'm just trying to say that you don't have to keep everything bottled up."

Her green eyes narrowed, "What did Kensi say?"

"How do you know that Eric didn't say something?" Callen countered, suddenly remembering that their analyst actually did what her title suggested unlike their liaison. And she did her job exceptionally well.

"Because Eric would talk to me," Nell said simply. "And everyone else is just looking at me like a piece of china."

"We don't…" He trailed off as she gave him a pointed look. This conversation was proving her argument. "We care, okay?"

"I know, you're like the four musketeers."

Callen frowned. "I thought it was three."

"Everyone forgets d'Artagnan," Nell shrugged. "Porthos, Aramis and Athos," She listed the others. "There's four."

"All for one and one for all," He shrugged, "Probably are. Which means we look out for each other."

"I've noticed," Nell said dryly before looking back to the fire. "I'm okay, really. "It's just…" She sighed and he waited patiently for her to continue. "You probably think this is stupid but this will be the first time I haven't gone home for Christmas."

"You miss your family," Callen realised, feeling a pang of jealousy.

"It's silly, I know. We're hiding out in the middle of nowhere and I'm crying over not watching my cousins kill each other. Nate would probably say I'm transferring my fear but…" She trailed off, closing her eyes to stop more tears from falling.

"Having a family isn't something to be ashamed of."

"Oh, Callen. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine, Nell," He held up a hand to stop her stammering apology. People always got touchy when they brought up family around him; he was long since used to it.

"I shouldn't have said anything.

"Nell. Calm down. I do have a family. I have Sam. I have Hetty and Kensi. You and Eric. And even Deeks – on a good day of course."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Callen offered her a lopsided smile. "You don't know how to appreciate something unless you don't have it, right?"

"I guess." It was a lesson she was learning the hard way.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way," Callen said to more himself than to her, as if he was trying to convince himself.

"You don't want to know anymore?" Nell asked, surprised.

He took one look at her and realised, "Hetty had you look into my sister didn't she?"

"Yes," Nell didn't even try to lie.

"You didn't find anything," It was more of a statement than a question. She would have told him if she found something. Hetty would have told him.

"Nothing new," She shook her head dejectedly.

Callen nodded then stood up abruptly, "I feel like some tea, how about you?"

"Ah, sure," Nell blinked at the sudden offer.

"Just don't tell Sam – he'll get jealous."

Nell rolled her eyes.

"No, seriously. He will," He walked over to the kitchenette and put the kettle on.

"Okay," Nell smiled.

"You know, Hetty is right about tea," Callen said as he put the tea bags in two mugs.

"Hetty is always right," She replied with a small smile.

"True," Callen nodded and carried over two cups, giving one to Nell. "But I still think coffee is better."

"Why didn't you make coffee then?" Nell took a sip, careful not to burn herself on the steaming beverage. It was sweeter than she expected but then she should've readjusted her expectations. The team rarely did what was expected of them.

"Because we," He gave her a pointed look, "Need to sleep."

She shrugged. "We pull all-nighters all the time. It's no big deal."

"It is if you're afraid to sleep."

"What?" She froze, her expression that of a startled deer in the headlights.

"You lie better than I expected," Callen took a sip of tea.

"I didn't lie."

"Okay, you told me half the story," Callen corrected himself. "Enough to cover yourself, not enough to open yourself to danger. I'm impressed, actually. But, come on Nell. It's me. I know when Hetty is lying."

She quirked an eyebrow at that. "All of the time?"

"No," Callen admitted petulantly. "But you aren't Hetty."

"No," Nell agreed almost ruefully. "If I was Hetty, I wouldn't be so stupid."

"Stupid?" Callen echoed, confused. Stupid wasn't a word he'd use.

"I'm afraid to sleep," She explained honestly. There wasn't any point trying to hide it. "It's stupid. Everyone has to sleep – it's inevitable."

"People are afraid of dying," He rebutted quickly. "That's inevitable."

"But that's understandable; you don't know for certain what exactly is going to happen. You know what happens when you sleep. You know the dreams aren't real."

"They feel real."

"But they're not," Nell argued, running a hand through her hair. "It's stupid to be afraid of your own imagination."

"Well then I guess we're all stupid then," Callen leaned forward and tried to be reassuring. "We're all afraid of the dreams. We just learnt how to deal with them."

She traced the edge of the mug with a finger. "How do you deal with them?" She looked up, almost childlike with her desperate plea. Sometimes he forgot how young she was. How innocent.

"By facing them," He said simply, looking her in the eye.

"Yeah, that's gonna work." Nell said dryly. "I'm too scared to sleep. I can't face them if I'm not seeing them."

"You will," The confidence in his tone made her look at him suspiciously.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing," He gave her a wide eyed innocent look that had gotten him out of more than one sticky situation.

She took a sip of tea, still watching him guardedly. Then it clicked. "You…"

"Yep."

"That's illegal."

"Yep. Works though," He smirked a little. "Of course, Kensi didn't talk to me for a week afterward. I don't think you have that option though, given that we're stuck in this tiny house."

It was almost like he'd issued her a challenge. "Wanna bet?"

"No," Callen shook his head. "I'm not an idiot. I know better than to bet you or Kensi that you can't do something. You're stupidly stubborn sometimes."

"Pot. Kettle," Nell looked at him.

"Yeah. Yeah," He waved his hand at her. "Drink you're tea."

Panic entered her eyes. "But I don't want-"

"You'll feel better in the morning. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Nell. Now drink," He gestured to the tea he'd tossed with a sleeping pill.

Nell glared at him defiantly for a moment then softened. "I can see why people are scared of you," She drank the rest of the tea in one go, making a face at the sweetness of it.

"Me?" Callen chuckled. "I'm a teddy bear."

"If a teddy bear had retractable claws," Nell retorted, her eyes growing heavy.

"Now now, no need to be insulting," He chided, almost playfully.

"Sorry," Her eyes fluttered closed and her breathing evened out.

Callen waited until she was completely asleep before taking the china mug out of her hands.

"What's Hetty going to say about you drugging her favourite intelligence analyst?" Sam walked, leaning against the doorframe in the exact same position as Callen had earlier.

"It was either that or watch her start to burn out. You know how short lived analysts can be."

"Not really," Sam shrugged. "She's the first to last this long. But I see your point. She'll be okay?" It was a mix of a question, a statement and a hope. He hated it when any of his team hurt in anyway.

"As good as the rest of us. Which isn't saying much," Callen added as an afterthought.

"Speak for yourself," Sam shot back.

"Admit it, you're just as screwed up as me," Callen smirked at his partner. "It's why we get along so well."

Sam scoffed, "Whatever G."

"Yeah, whatever. You got the second shift?" Callen asked as he stretched.

"Yep. You go get your beauty sleep. You're starting to scare the kids."

"Ha ha," Callen drawled, rolling his eyes. "Don't quit your day job."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sam grinned. "After all, someone has to keep you alive."

"I'm doing a fine job by myself, thank you very much."

"Yeah, real fine," Sam said sarcastically.

"Sometimes you can be a pain the ass, you know that?" Callen said as he walked away.

"Love you too man," Sam called after him, keeping his voice low so as to not wake the sleeping members of their team. He sat down in Callen's vacant chair and reached over to pull a blanket up over Nell. "Sweet dreams."

A/N: Something less fluffy than usual. It ended up longer than I expected. I like the whole little sister thing Nell has with the others. It's cute. One thing that bothers me is how she knows Nate. I'm like a hound dog with details like that. Anyone got any ideas?

Also, if anyone knows of some party/drinking games, could you please tell me in a review? I can only think of truth and dare. (Yeah, I know, I'm boring).

Thanks!