A/N: Thank you for all the reviews/alerts/favourites. You make it so much easier to write. This one's a little different than usual. I needed a break from fluff after my Eric/Nell vid and my Senior Formal (Prom for you Americans).

Disclaimer: I own nothing but pretty silver shoes and a blue ball gown I'll probably never wear again.

Bombe Alaska

"I am going to kill him," Kensi swore, pacing the room they were locked in

Nell sat on the floor and glanced up at her fellow captive. "I think you're going to have to get in line."

"I'm his partner. I have dibs," Kensi replied tightly "It's my right."

"Does that mean I can make Eric watch 3 seasons of Grey's Anatomy as punishment for this?"

Kensi almost laughed, "He'd hate that."

"That's kinda the point," Nell said with a smile. Revenge was sweet sometimes. "They deserve it."

"That they do," Kensi agreed with her.

NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA

1 hour earlier

Deeks leant on the kitchen counter, watching her intensely.

She added the flour and sugar in the correct amounts, not needing to measure anything. Practice made perfect after all. She tried to ignore the man staring at her but his piercing blue eyes were distracting. "I'm not going to go any faster if you keep staring at me," Nell told him, adding milk to the mixture in a large red bowl in front of her.

"I'm not staring," He said, "I'm watching."

"Anyone would think you've never seen a girl bake from scratch before," Eric piped up, barely looking up from the surfing magazine he was reading. He lounged sideways on the patched work armchair in the adjoining living room.

If he'd looked up, he would have seen the pain flicker across Deek's face. Deeks' eyes narrowed at the tech, "I'm sorry we didn't all have the Norman Rockwell childhood you did."

Nell looked over at Kensi, who was lying on the sofa, pleadingly.

"Did you sat watch a girl bake?" Kensi intervened, creating a mock argument in the place of something that could blow up in their faces. A less hurtful argument was better than one that reopened old wounds. Especially when they were practically living on top of each other in the small house.

"Um. Yes?" Eric glanced over at the tall brunette who sat up to glare at him.

"So according to you, girls are the only ones that cook?" Kensi stood up and folded her arms, looking down on him.

"I didn't mean it like that. Nell," He looked to the redhead with the bemused look on her face for support. "Come on, please. Help me out here."

She shook her head, "You said it, not me."

"What did you mean?" Kensi asked him in a saccharine sweet voice.

Eric gulped, flashing back to every interrogation and undercover he'd ever heard her use that voice in. It never ended well for the other guy. "I was just…"

"Being a misogynist?" Kensi asked, raising an eyebrow. She'd gotten him flustered according to plan. Now he'd be too distracted to start anything with Deeks.

"No! I've just only ever seen my mother bake. And Nell," He added quickly, casting a quick look over to his friend. Nell rolled her eyes and went back to stirring the mixture. He was digging himself a hole.

"Oh how sweet," Deeks drawled sarcastically.

Kensi whirled on him, "Not helping Deeks." She wouldn't be able to diffuse the situation if he kept making wisecracks.

"What?" He held up his hands. "I did nothing. It was him that started it." He pointed accusingly at Eric, much like a temperamental child.

"I didn't do anything!" Eric replied indignantly.

"Just because you had the white picket fence, doesn't mean everyone else did. So sorry for trying to learn about stuff I should have when I was a kid."

"I never said…"

"Yeah you did."

"Guys," Nell tried to cut in but they ignored her. "Guys!" The two blonde men continued to argue, putting blame on the other.

"I'm not stupid, Deeks. I know everyone here has pasts they're not happy about."

"That could possibly be the understatement of the year. And you're wrong."

"About what?

"You not being stupid."

"What? I save you butt five times a week! Without me, you'd be running into blind alleys."

"Whoever speaks next does not get any dinner!" Nell yelled, finally getting the guys attention. Both of them turned to look at the petite girl. "Thank you," She said, exhaling loudly.

"Now, both of you say you're sorry," Kensi coached them, speaking to them like she were speaking to misbehaving children.

The men eyed each other, not willing to make a move until the other did. It was like a Mexican stand off.

"Oh, just shake hands already," Kensi snapped at them.

"Who put you in charge?" Deeks asked her.

"Yeah, technically I'm the senior officer here," Eric said. "You're the junior agent."

"And you're acting like kids arguing over nothing."

"It was not nothing," Deeks frowned at her.

"Hey!" Kensi waggled her finger at him. "Don't you start on me! I was trying to help you avoid getting into a fight with Eric."

"Well, well done. Now we're fighting."

"Yeah, I can see that," Kensi said dryly, as if it were obvious. "I think the neighbours can here us."

"Don't exaggerate Kens. It's not attractive."

"Neither's being a poopy pants," Eric muttered darkly, still angry with Deeks.

"Excuse me?" The detective turned around; glaring down at the tech. "Did you just say 'poopy pants'?"

"No," Eric seemed to shrink ten inches.

"Okay, first of all, who says 'poopy pants'? What are you? 9? And second of all, I am not a poopy pants!"

"Kinda are at the moment. I have to agree with Eric," Kensi gave a one shouldered shrug.

"Of course you do. All of you back each other up like it's NCIS against the world. Newsflash Kens, you're not the only team fighting the good fight."

"I know that," She frowned at the criticism.

"Do you Kensi? Do you really?" He looked at her as if trying to look into her soul "Because it's not just Callen that does the whole lone wolf thing, you do it too."

"I do not," Kensi huffed.

"Yeah you do. You've locked yourself up in that tower of yours, barricaded the steel door and antagonised the dragon that's guarding the gate. You don't let anyone in."

"At least I don't pretend to be an idiot."

"I do not pretend to be an idiot."

"Yes, Deeks, you do."

Eric backed away from the arguing couple, turning to find Nell rummaging through the pantry. He ambled over to her, "Wow, they can really argue, can' they?"

Nell looked up at him then looked pointedly away, carrying a bowl of grapes and assortment of stone fruits in a container back to the counter where she was preparing dinner. While the rest of them were arguing, she'd steadily been kneading pizza dough and whipping the cream for a lemon cream pie.

"What?" He hissed at her. "I didn't start it."

"Sometimes," She sighed, looking up at him. "It's not about blame. Sometimes you just say you're sorry."

"But-"

"Not buts Eric. When they loose their voices from screaming at each other, you apologise to Deeks."

"Nell…" Eric whined.

She raised an eyebrow at him turned around and started cutting up a peach into small squares.

Eric stared at her back for a moment before sighing heavily to himself. Then he tuned back in to Kensi and Deeks' argument.

"Deeks, you're blowing this way out of proportion."

"Really? Because it seems to me that you're taking Eric's side over mine. And don't think that I didn't see that look Nell gave you. I know what you tried to do- you tried to manipulate us so we wouldn't argue."

"And look how brilliantly that turned out," Kensi rolled her eyes. "I was just trying to help! Sor-ry," She drew out the last word, emphasising every syllable. The agent turned on her heel and stormed towards the door.

"Hey! Don't walk out on me like that!"

She whirled around, like a tornado, "What do you want me to do Deeks?"

"I want you to listen to me dammit!" He yelled.

"I was!" Kensi yelled back and opened the door.

Deeks grabbed the first thing he laid his hands on and threw it at the door. A peach smooched itself on the door, inches above Kensi's head. The agent turned, slowly, looking murderously at her partner. "Now will you listen to me?"

"You threw a peach at me?" Kensi deadpanned, staring at him incredulously. She couldn't believe what he just did.

"Yes. You weren't listening to me."

She stalked back over to him. "What do you want me to listen to?"

"I don't actually remember," He looked at her sheepishly, shrugging a little.

"You have got to be kidding me," Kensi groaned. She picked up an apple and threw it at him.

It collided with his head with a small thud. "Ow!" Deeks yelped, rubbing at his forehead. "Why'd you do that?"

"You threw a peach at me!"

"It was a soft fruit. Apples are hard. It hurt," He pouted.

She rolled her eyes, "Big baby."

He grabbed another red apple and threw it at her. Kensi raised her arm and it hit her forearm. "See, it hurts," Deeks said as she winced at the contact.

"You're going to hurt now," She reached over and grabbed a handful of fruit.

"Hey!" Nell cried, stepping back from the counter, "This isn't a food fight."

"Au contraire Môn frère," Deeks told her, tossing a small smile her way. "That's exactly what this is." He launched himself at the counter to get ammunition just as Kensi started throwing hers. Eric pulled Nell down, out of the way as mango rained down on the Deeks and the counter where they'd been standing. "Come on Kensi," Deeks taunted, throwing an apricot at her, "You throw like a girl!"

"And I do it better than you!" She retorted, backing up towards the door. If she retreated to the tree line, she could make it to the fruit trees and get more fruit.

"Do not!" Deeks countered, ducking as she through an apple at his head. "See you mi-"He stopped speaking as a peach hit him in the cheek.

"Didn't that time!" She smirked at him.

"Guys, come on," Eric tried to reason with them. "You're making a mess."

"You are a mess," Deeks retorted, ducking a flying mango. "Don't think I haven't forgotten you." Kensi made it to the door just as Deeks realised her plan. "Hey! That's cheating!" He ran after her.

"Hey!" Nell yelled, standing up, holding the cream pie. She threw it at them and it soared over their heads, moving in almost slow motion until it landed on Sam's face. Everyone in the room froze. The Navy SEAL wiped his eyes, opening them to glare at them.

Callen walked in, "What the hell is going on in here?" He looked around to see fruit smashed on the floor and on the walls, Kensi and Deeks both holding onto fruit like snowballs in a snowball war and Eric and Nell behind the counter, looking scared.

"He started it." Kensi and Eric pointed at Deeks.

"She started it," Deeks pointed at Kensi.

"And who through the pie?" Sam asked, in a strangled sort of voice. He was still wiping the cream off his face.

"I did," Nell said in a small voice. She looked at the floor, guiltily. She glanced up for split second, "Sorry."

"Okay. Everyone to your rooms. You're in time out for two hours."

"What?" Kensi asked, staring at her boss.

"You heard me," Callen told her sternly.

"Callen, we're not kids," Eric argued.

"Look around," He said. "You're acted like kids; you're going to be treated like kids. Now march!" He pointed down the hall and they filed out, one by one, each of them dragging their feet.

"You know G, you'd make a great dad," Sam smirked at his partner.

"You still have a little cream on your face," Callen replied and walked away.

A/N: Yeah, this ended up more angsty and longer than expected. Tell me what you thought!