I don't care if I don't get a lot of reviews for this one because this fic will always be my baby and it has a special place in my heart

Also I would like to take a moment to say that this fic is going to consist of nothing but choppy sentences and the whole thing will be written in fragmented sentences for a reason. You are looking through the eyes of an emotionally damaged slightly insane human being, their thought processes are always choppy and all over the place, at least in my opinion.

Disclaimer: Nope, not yet.

when all is said and done

Will we still feel pain inside?

Will the scars go away with night?

/./.

.

.

.

Why am I here again? I think I have forgotten.

That doesn't surprise me though, my memories are only puddles at this point; melted dreams wasting away in my mind, clawing at me as if they want to devour me and distract me from what was happening now.

But I won't let them. Silly memories of happier times are just excuses to draw into one's self to avert their eyes from the situation at hand. Memories are death.

Nurses stare at me with a wary look in their eye, especially the older ones, as if they had already seen shinobi lose their minds before. Perhaps they have. I don't give them any outward reactions.

It's been so long since I've spoken; at least that's what they say anyway when they mummer amongst themselves.

But it's a lie.

I'm been screaming this whole time. Why can't they hear me?

Everyday I'm here, boxed in by these white walls, strapped down by these brown restraints, kept cold with these white sheets. They want to lay me down to sleep, but I won't let them.

Stubbornly, I keep my eyes open, I see nothing, but I refuse to sleep. No matter how many needles they stick into my weak body that make my vision swim and my body sleep. My eyes remain will remain open.

You're here again. You lay your head upon my knee and settle there as if you belong there. And the sad thing is that yes, you do belong there. Your warmth seeps into me from just that little contact. And deep within me, somewhere, I'm screaming for more.

You move you head to my chest now, and you climb onto the bed, ripping off the sheets. Your eyes are black and endless, your mouth moves but I can't hear what you say.

I don't want to.

You seem to sense my refusal and you touch my face, dragging the rough pads of your fingers across my cheek, as if trying to draw me from my shell.

I search your eyes. They will tell me what you wish to say. I try with what's left of me to find something, anything to tell me what your mouth wants to say, I look for the smallest hint of a spark in your eyes. But they remain dark. Dark like your softly beating heart that remains singing that annoying steady song.

Dark like your silky hair that clashes with mine. Your face twists into something horrible. As if you are sad. But you're not.

Your eyes won't lie.

I remain motionless as you slowly undo my restraints. You keep repeating something, saying words that no longer hold any meaning to me.

You hold my face in your hands and speak. You face gives me an expression of desperation but your eyes remain as stones.

Your dead and you're trying to kill me too.

Giving in (like I always seem to do. Pathetic aren't I?) I strain to actually listen.

At first it's only a muffled sound of words. And little by little, it became clearer and clearer.

"s'ten oo ai oice"

"L'sten to m boice"

"Listen to my voice."

I stare at you but never utter a word. You let go of my face and begin trailing your fingers across my chest.

Without my wanting it to, my body tingles and begins to warm in all the places you touch me.

"I'll make you feel good." You whispered into my ear.

Unwillingly I shivered.

With your sharp eyes you noticed my response right away, as little as it was, and continued. I tried to remain unresponsive and tried to pull up my walls. But you, you fucking spoiled child. You are slowly breaking down them down.

Brick by brick. And there's nothing I can do.

"I'll make you forgive me. Little by little." You kissed a trail down my neck and began urgently stripping me of my clothes.

"Give into me." You muttered into my ear, licking it.

God knows that I don't want to but you make it so fucking hard not to. Not when you gave me that kiss.

/./.

.

.

.

More coming surprisingly soon~!