Gundam Seed: Killer's Realm

Omake

The Daily Schedule of Jack

6:00 A.M.: Wake Up

Jack's eyes fluttered open, and he reflexively tried to rub at them. Instead, the highly durable and custom-made handcuffs kept his arms locked in their positions across his chest, even as lengths of chain tied him down to the bunk. Waiting a few moments, Jack heard a few beeps from his alarm clock.

"Initiating brainwave scan..." The clock said, in an artificially synthesized and emotionless voice. "Scan complete. Subject is in control of himself." With that, the handcuffs unlocked and the chains loosened, allowing Jack to do what everyone else did when they wake up: yawn and stretch.

"You know, no matter how often I see it, I'm never going to get used to that." Kira commented from the other bunk.

"Well, it's a better alternative than Chimamare slicing you into pieces small enough to shove down the garbage disposal." Jack replied, somewhat testily.

"True."

6:05 A.M.: Shower

(Censored for the sake of pure and innocent eyes)

6:10 A.M.: Brush Teeth

Jack tiredly brushed his teeth, the toothbrush scrubbing slowly across his teeth. As he did this mundane, yet hygienic, routine one thought crossed his mind.

Mornings are dull.

6:12 A.M.: Eat Breakfast

By now Jack's characteristic mischievous energy had returned, with the Kiba pilot hurriedly scarfing down a breakfast platter, eating too fast to taste, and not really wanting to find out just what the food tasted like. He'd had military food before, and it hadn't been a friendly encounter, so to speak.

"Jack." The robotics expert looked up to find one of his least favorite people, Liene, sitting in front of him, an event that, on any other day, would have been an impossibility.

"What are you sitting down here for Liene?"

"Everywhere else is taken." Jack opened his mouth to retort, before doing a double-take and looking around. Indeed, all other available seats had been taken, with the mechanics taking up three tables by themselves, the crew and officers occupying another two, and the refugees and Orb volunteers occupying the rest.

"Damn. What's going on?"

"The head chef threatened to start serving his 'Exotic Recipe' if everyone didn't eat breakfast and enjoy it. So, everyone came and started eating, hoping to exhaust their stores of 'healthy' ingredients." Jack shuddered. That particular food, forever to be cursed to never be named aloud, was at the same time amazingly delicious and horrifyingly disgusting. Rumor had it that one of the ingredients was an addictive chemical distilled from quantities of fermenting grapes, crushed spiders, and the ashes of a sock that had been sitting in a septic tank for three decades. Of course, it was all speculation, but you had to wonder.....Both Coordinators shuddered, before continuing to eat.

7:00 A.M.: Deride OMNI Enforcer's mobile weapon designs

"Alright, now this is just stupid. Why the hell would you put the thinnest part of the armor on the forward section of the mobile suit? That's the stupidest thing I've seen in my long hours of study." Jack seethed, jabbing his finger at the torn armor of the Constantine's cockpit section. The spectators leaned in, getting a closer look at the slagged metal. Indeed, the armor was ridiculously thin compared to the ZAFT mobile suits and Gundam, the thinnest of which was about as thick as a gorilla's arm. "And here! What nitwit thought to put the damned CIWS guns inside the head? Those things are needed within seconds, all of which would be wasted during the time it took for the fucking guns to emerge!" The rant continued for long minutes, with the mechanics noting everything they missed.

7:30 A.M.: Deride OMNI Enforcer's fleet tactics

"I knew Krowhart was a coward, but this is just stupid. He knew we were coming. He knew that we slaughtered the Task Group that attacked the Silverwind within minutes. And what did he do? He arrayed the entirety of his fleet against us, plain for all to see. He didn't even deploy his Constantines until Kira and Athrun got close to him, when they could have launched them earlier, used them to keep the two of them pinned until the Agamemnons could get a decent target lock." Jack muttered, reviewing the combat footage from the Gundams, the Shadowfax, and the Barachiel.

8:00 A.M. - 11:00 A.M.: Practice fighting for life

"GAH!" Jack screamed as Kira punted him into the wall. As his back slammed into the wall of the sparring arena, there was a large cracking sound.

"GAAHGGHAAGGAAHHAGHAGFUCK!" Jack screamed, writhing on the floor in pain.

"Jack! Are you alright!?" Kira asked, rushing over to his friend. At that point, Jack raised his foot, and gave Kira a good kick in the unmentionables. The Prince of Orb clutched at his crotch and fell to his knees, groaning, as Jack took to his feet, gloating.

"Hah! You know, after five years of using that trick, I didn't think it'd work this-" In the middle of Jacks gloating, Kira removed his hands from his groin and gave Jack two quick jabs to the same area. Now, Jack was writhing on the ground, squealing in a high soprano as Kira got back on his feet.

"How!?" Jack squeaked out.

"Protective crotch padding." Kira answered. "And two solid titanium knuckle dusters."

11:00 A.M. - 6:00 P.M.: Eat lunch, Wait for a dangerous situation to occur requiring piloting skills, think up various mobile weapon designs, or, prank Liene

Jack snickered as he watched Liene turn on the tablet computer he always carried with him. What Liene didn't know, however, was that Jack had loaded a virus onto it, and couldn't wait to see how the engineer reacted.

Out of context, the reaction wasn't all that much, with just a slight slack-jaw and a loosening of fingers. To those who knew Liene however, it was priceless, especially the dumbfounded look in his eyes. Silently snickering, Jack slid along the wall, heading towards his quarters to wait for the crisis that his pessimistic side insisted was going to happen. Thus, he didn't notice Liene's eyes surreptitiously slide to where he'd been hiding before darting over to Kira, who'd been hiding in the shadows of the corner. At the Orb Prince's nod, Liene ceased his act and followed Jack, Kira right behind him.

-One hour later-

As the screams began, the crew and refugees/volunteers automatically inserted their ear plugs, persisting in their current duties. After the first five incidents, all had agreed that it was better to be deaf than hear that series of soul-wrenching and horrifying screams, shrieks, and shrill cries. How Kira and Line managed to get Jack to produce such a variety of sounds, they were better off not knowing.

6:00 P.M.: Eat Dinner

The crew had long since gotten past wondering how Jack was in any physical (or psychological, as the case may be) condition to show up in time for dinner after the presumed daily torture sessions of both Kira and Liene in retaliation for the numerous pranks.

To tell the truth, they had never gotten to that point, instead being bewildered as to how the Coordinator could happily scarf down the anonymous substance delicately termed 'food' that the head chef provided for dinner. At first, they had gathered around, staring at him until he grunted in a vaguely threatening (maybe merely displeased) manner. Now, they treated him more like the dog that sat under the family table to whom the kids fed undesired tidbits to. This consisted of them eating a few micro-bites of the slop before scraping into one big clump and walking to return the tray, surreptitiously dropped the clump onto Jack's tray. Then, afterwards, they went to the apprentice cooks for a more wholesome meal.

7:00 P.M.: Go to Sleep

After all these years, Kira was still nervous about handcuffing his friend to his bunk and then strapping him to it with chains. It just didn't feel right. And the public humiliation and rumors if anyone saw him doing this.

A/N: Well, I figured some people might have been curious. Also, there really aren't all that many people reviewing (Thank you, by the way, G. Wagers and Velshard.) Seriously, review. I'll type faster. Heck, I might even get the Phases out on a once-every-two-days schedule. (unlikely, but its even less likely if I don't think people are reading this) Well, at least I'm not Maderfole, getting three reviews every ten thousand word chapter.

G. Wagers: Fooled ya!