CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Friday, Febraury 3rd
"Miley?" Shane's voice was a soft whisper in my ear. We were both awake, we both had been for a long time. When he first woke Shane had moved to get up, but I held his arms around me. Yesterday and Wednesday had been the perfect distraction from today, but now today was here and I couldn't be distracted from it anymore.
"I know." I sighed, he was trying to say it was time to get up. Time to get ready. Time to go to my Grandfathers funeral. "I need to shower." I muttered, sitting up and holding the sheet to my body until Shane turned around, then I got out of bed and moved towards the bathroom, grabbing a bathrobe on the way because the dress chosen for me for today was still in the closet. I was in the bathroom for all of a second before I opened the door again and Shane was already there with his boxers on and he hugged me.
"I'll stay here." Shane murmured reassuringly and I shook my head, wiping my eyes as I pulled away.
"I know it made you uncomfortable the other day, and it's not fair to you-" I started to deny, even though I did want him with me, it wasn't fair to keep asking him to stay when I knew it made him uncomfortable.
"I don't care, you need me, Miley. You need me and I'm going to be here for you, even if it's just sitting in the bathroom whilst you shower because you don't want to be alone." He told me, pressing a kiss to my forehead and I smiled a little.
"Thank-you." I whispered before I went over to the shower and I slipped in before I took off the bathrobe and turned the water on. The hot water usually relaxed me, but today it did nothing except make me hot and wet... In the non-sexual sense. When I switched the water off I heard Shane get up and as soon as I opened the frosted glass doors he hand me a towel. When I was dry I slipped the bathrobe back on and went to sit back on the bed. I didn't want to get ready today, I didn't want to put on that specially designed black dress, I didn't want to have the make-up artists paint my face black, I didn't want to go to the funeral. I felt Shane sit on the bed behind me and start tugging at my hair, but I didn't look at him until I realised he was gently brushing the tangles out of my wet tendrils. "What are you doing?" My voice was slightly hoarse. Shane just kissed the back of my neck and kept brushing, being so gentle and caring. When he was finished I laid back against him and looked up. "I don't wanna go, Shaney."
"I know." He whispered, holding me tightly. "You'll regret it if you don't." He added and I sighed, turning to face him.
"Did you always go?" I asked softly.
"I didn't go to my Moms." He said, his beautiful brown eyes pained. "I've always regretted it."
"Why didn't you go?"
"I was eight, I thought I was too old to cry and I knew if I went I would've cried." Shane sighed and kissed my temple. "Even if it feels like a circus show, you should go, it's your last chance and you'll regret it if you don't." I knew he was right, of course he was right, he's always right.
"Will you come?" Today would be hard, but it would be impossible without Shane.
"I'll never leave your side." The promise was comforting and as Shane stood up I followed him to the closet. He picked out a bra and panties and dropped to his knees, he lifted one foot and then other, sliding the panties up my legs slowly until he rested his head on my bathrobed stomach and hugged me. I slowly knelt down as well so we were face to face. "He'll always be with you, they all will." He murmured, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear and stroking my cheek. "In here." He lightly tapped right over my heart with a sad smile. "If you ever need them all you have to do is think of them and they'll be here for you." That's what I was always told, but coming from Shane it felt true.
"When do we have to be there?" I asked, standing up again and so did Shane, he picked the hanger off the rail and carefully undid the dress bag as I hooked my bra on and shed the bathrobe.
"Twelve-thirty." I stepped into the dress and grabbed his wrist to check the time, 45 minutes. Shane zipped the back of the dress and pressed a soft kiss on my neck, wrapping his arms around me.
Princess Miley
I was standing at the front of a procession. Well. I was standing second in the procession; Grandfathers coffin was in front me, on the shoulders of six men I didn't know. Alyssa checked her watch, sighed and nodded. This had to be hard on her, people felt sorry for me as the granddaughter, no-one felt sorry for the Personal Assistant because they saw it as a job, not that she'd been the closest person to him for over ten years.
The men with the coffin started moving and I slowly, reluctantly followed. Shane's hand was on my lower back as we walked, a constant comfort, but I couldn't take my eyes off the casket. My Grandfather was in there. But, it wasn't my Grandfather anymore, it was just a lifeless body. The walk was going togo from the gates of Northumberland Palace through town to the main square, then back around and to the Royal cemetary.
There were cameras and reporters callously following us, their lenses on me and the casket. People came out to the streets to pay their respeects, that's what the walk was for. But, I just stared at the coffin and tried to focus on Shane's pressence. It wasn't working. I heaved a breath and tried to not cry. His body was so close, just a few feet in front of me, but he wasn't there. The last funeral I had gone to was my Moms when I was ten, I'd been too young to fully register what was happening at my other two grandfathers funerals. I remember at my Moms I touched her hand, trying ot hold onto what I could, but she had been ice cold. Grandma Ruthie had had to take me outside because I was crying so hard and almost hyperventilating.
"Is there anything I can do?" Shane's voice pulled me back and I looked up at him.
"Take me away from here?" I suggested and he sighed, I knew he couldn't, I had to be here. I was my duty. We were already in the main square and we were circling around the fountain and statue in the middle before would go back to the Palace. When I looked back the corner of my eye caught a movement and Shane stopped me abruptly and he moved to get between me and whatever it was, but I saw it and stopped him. It was a little girl, she was dressed in a little black dressed and her blonde hair bounced in soft curls as she ran up to me I knelt down in front of her and smiled sadly. "Hi." I whispered. The girl threw her arms around me and I was startled for a second before I hugged her back; she was only little, maybe four or five. When I let her go she held out a black, long-stemmed rose. "Thank-you." I took the rose and she turned and ran back into the crowd without even saying anything. I slowly stood up and Shane looked at me curriously. I just looked down at the rose and sighed; the rose of death.
The sky was stormy when we made it to the cemetary and the February air was cold as ice. Shane took off his jacket and gently draped it over my shoulders despite my objections. I bit my lip as the casket was set on a table. I had to sit at the front, there were already camera crews set up, it was sickening, this was a funeral for Christs sake.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of His Majesty, Altiyan Alistair Maximillian Frederick, King of Cyrus and all its realms." The Arch Bishop began somberly.
"You'll be okay." Shane whispered comfortingly and I sighed. The Priest kept talking and Shane slipped his hand into mine in my lap. I looked down and held it tightly; it was bigger than mine, comforting, protective.
"You won't leave me will you?" I looked up at him and he kissed the side of my hair.
"Never." He whispered in a promise.
"His Majesty is succeeded by Her Majesty, Princess Miley." The Priest and I knew that was my cue to get up and make a speach. I slowly stood and Shane squeezed my hand before he let go and I walked up to the podium in a daze. I carefully placed the rose the little girl had given me on top of the casket and I stared at the polished wood. His body was in there, but he wasn't. I took a deep breath and looked at everyone; I didn't know most of them, most of them looked like this was a boring business meeting than a funeral.
"K-King Altiyan." The words felt forreign now. "He-he was my Grandfather, to some of you he may have been a friend, a collegue, an aquaintance, but he was my Grandfather." I looked down at my hands on the podium, trying to will myself not to cry again. "He-only just a month ago he promised that he was going to be alive to see me get married, he swore it." I swollowed thickly. "I could live with a lot of broken promises, but... He was my Grandfather." My voice cracked and I felt the tears start to slip. "I'd like to play a song to remember... Not the King, not the Monarch, not the Crown all of you looked to... I want to play a song for my Grandfather." Someone stepped forward and hesitantly handing me a guitar. A stool was brought over and I sat on it, checking the guitar and avoiding looking at anyone. I could hear whispers, but I started strumming to drown them out.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so tired, but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something far too deep
It's funny how we feel so much, but we cannot say a word
Though we are screaming inside, oh
We can't be heard
My voice trembled, but I had to keep going. I watched a tear fall down and splash against the wood of the guitar, soon followed by another. Music was my language, music was how I could say what I felt when I couldn't find the words.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
But, once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh
You gave me light
I'd thought he was against me, a jerk, but he was helping me. He'd been making me stronging, pushing me to be better. And I didn't even get a chance to thank him. For anything.
That I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
The guitar fell with a clatter from hold and I got off the stool. I couldn't hold it in anymore, I ran straight to Shane and collapsed into his protective arms, sobbing.
Here it is; I decided to upload it even though I didn't get the 5 reviews for Eternity. Speaking of which the next chapter I post will be Chapter III of Eternity, and depending on the reviews I may discontinue it for now.
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