A/N: So thanks for all the reviews/alerts/favourites etc. I don't know why you like this so much but I'm glad you do!
Swing and Miss Part 3
Kensi paced the living room, behaving like a caged animal. "I'm going to kill him."
"You've said that," Callen dropped the frayed sofa cushion on his head. He lay on the couch, feet hanging over the edge. Everyone had forsaken the idea of sleep since Kensi's sugar craving kicked in.
"Multiple times," Sam added with a fake smile as he turned the page of a month old newspaper at the kitchen table. "I think everyone gets the idea."
She whirled around to face them, "You don't have to sound so patronising, you know."
"You don't have to act so crazy," Eric mumbled a little too loud. At the silence in the room, he looked up to see three pairs of eyes staring at him- one brown pair with mirth, one blue with sympathy and one mismatched pair with fury. "Did I say that aloud?" His own blue eyes widened as he contemplated his death.
Callen smirked into the cushion, glad it was hiding his expression. He didn't want Kensi angry at him too. "Nice knowing you Eric."
"What do you mean 'crazy'?" Kensi waggled her fingers at the word, storming to stand over the tech who was lying on the floor.
"I ah," Eric fumbled for words and pushed himself up into a sitting position, "I um meant that…"
"Spit it out," Sam nodded encouragingly. It was always entertaining to see how he dug himself out of the hole the tech had created. Or how far he dug himself in.
"It's just doughnuts," Eric looked up at the agent. "I mean, it could have been worse."
Kensi gave him a glare that he swore gave him sunburn, "I'm stuck in a house with everyone practically sitting on top of each other, I haven't talked to any of my friends in weeks and I'm pissed off. And Deeks ate my doughnuts. How can it get any worse?" She threw her arms up in the air and the three men stared at her, not sure how to approach her. "And don't look at me like that!"
Eric scrambled to his feet, "I think I'm gonna go to my room." He speed walked out of the living room, careful to avoid Kensi's eyes.
Callen watched him leave then switched his gaze to his partner who was making frantic eyes at him. They communicated silently, arguing about who would speak up first.
"When you two are done making eyes at each other, can one of you tell me where the phone is?" Kensi stood in front of them, arms folded.
"It's an emergency phone Kens," Callen said slowly, not wanting to say no outright.
"Used for emergencies," Sam clarified unnecessarily.
"It is an emergency," She huffed, glaring at the two unhelpful partners. "Deeks is late. He could have gotten lost or runaway to escape his punishment."
"Punishment?" Callen quirked an eyebrow, sitting up slowly. "Don't you think that's a bit excessive?"
Her eyes widened then narrowed, "You're on his side."
"No one's on anyone's side," Callen shook his head.
"There are no sides," Sam interjected. "It's not war."
"Alls fair in love, war and chocolate," She argued.
"They were doughnuts, not chocolate," Callen pointed out the flaw in her logic. "And you mutated the quote."
"The point still applies," She glowered at him and turned to leave. "You two are useless. I'm going to my room. Call me when-" Something hidden under the coffee table caught her eye. She leapt over the sofa and scooped it up before Callen could stop her. "Under the coffee table? Seriously? That's hardly a good hiding spot."
"Well if we left it on the table, Eric would break it when he put his feet up," Callen retorted, watching her text. "What are you sending him?"
"A token of my affection," Kensi answered in a saccharine voice, tossing the brick phone to Sam. "I'm going to bed. Wake me when Deeks and Nell get back."
"What did she say to him?" Callen asked eagerly.
Sam brought up the sent message, "'If you don't get here soon, I'm going to kill you.' That's gonna make him come back faster."
"Ask where they are," His partner suggested. "Kensi was right- they've been gone a while."
"Do you think Deeks has driven Nell mad yet?" Sam asked as he texted.
"Nah," Callen tossed aside the concern. "Nell puts up with Eric; she can handle Deeks." They fell into silence, Callen staring off into space and Sam rereading the old newspaper. The silence in the house felt strange but it was so uncommon, they welcomed it graciously.
The silence was interrupted by the cell phone's text alert. Sam snatched it up and pulled a face as he read the message. "I think someone's drunk."
"Why?" Callen sat up and looked over the sofa's arm.
"Goldilocks is scared of the three bears," Sam read, his voice showing his confusion.
"Nell's using code," Callen explained with a nonchalant shrug and laid back down. "They're fine. Deeks is being smart and staying away a little longer."
"You got all that from seven words?" Sam raised an eyebrow at his partner even though Callen had shut his eyes and couldn't see.
"I don't have to be verbose to get my point across."
"I know. I still don't understand the code. Why don't I know about it?"
Callen sighed and sat up again, "It's a new thing. Nell didn't like the number system we had in place, said it was too easy to hack or something so she changed it."
Sam frowned, trying to understand. "So that message is our code names?"
"Some of us," Callen tried to dodge the question. He knew where this was going.
"So what's your code name?" Sam asked, aiming to lead his partner into telling him his own code name. "I mean Deeks is obviously Goldilocks."
"Obviously," Callen echoed dryly.
"You're avoiding the question," Sam realised quickly.
"Yep."
"What are you, the wicked witch? Or is that Hetty?"
"Nah, she's the fairy godmother."
Sam chuckled, "I can just imagine someone trying to read a report with these code names. They'd think it was made up by some crazy kid or something."
"That's why Hetty kept them. Plausible deniability. Anyway," Callen stood up and stretched. "I'm going to go for a run."
"You just don't wanna answer my question."
"Yep." He didn't bother to deny it as he walked out the door.
NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA#NCIS:LA
The second Kensi heard the car pull up to the house, she ran out of the room she and Nell shared and sprinted outside. "Where are they?"
Deeks got out of the car as slowly as possible, drawing out every single movement. "Do you think she's talking about us, Nell?"
The redhead rolled her eyes, "They're in the backseat Kensi."
"You are amazing Nell," Kensi told her as she opened the backdoor and grabbed the paper bag containing her treat.
"Hello, what am I? The driver?" Deeks slammed the door as if to emphasise his point.
"Deeks," Nell chided gently. "Don't start a fight."
"It's always my fault, isn't it?" He sighed, looking at his blissful partner as she inhaled the doughnut. "After all the trouble I went to to get that, you're not even going to savour it?"
Her mismatched eyes narrowed dangerously at him, "I'm making sure you don't eat it."
"Is that why you eat everything in sight? So I don't get it first?" He was teasing her. Kinda. A four hour drive and the day from hell had put him a cranky mood. "That's kinda selfish Kens."
"Anyway," Nell clapped her hands together, overtly attempting to quell their rising argument. "Let's put the groceries away, shall we?"
"Excellent idea," Callen strode over and opened the boot. "Did you guys bring the entire shop back with you?"
"I bet Deeks tried to bring the pretty shop assistant back, didn't you?" Kensi smirked at her partner, still ribbing him.
Nell tried to hide a giggle but failed while Deeks shrugged cavalierly, putting on an act. He was never going to let her find out what happened. It would eviscerate him. "She wasn't my type." He glared at Nell as she let out another giggle.
"I'm sensing there's more to the story than that," Callen said, looking between the analyst and the detective. "But it can wait till everything's in the house." He reached to grab a bag but Deeks pushed his arm out of the way.
"I've got that one," The detective said with more vigour than necessary.
Callen gave him an odd look but shook it off. Deeks was always weird.
"What have you got in there?" Kensi leant over and tried to peak inside the grey plastic bag.
"Nothing," Deeks pulled it hurriedly out of her reach and gaze.
"If it's nothing, why won't you show me?" Kensi lunged at him.
He danced out of her reach, "Because it's none of your business."
"I'm your partner," She retorted. "You're my business."
"Sometimes this is better than pay TV," Callen commented as he hauled the rest of the shopping into the house.
"Wait till you hear what happened today."
A/N: Sorry about the lack of updates and the suckiness of this one. Real life interrupted and writer's block is creeping in. Anyone have any ideas as to what other troubles the team can get into?