Darsant Avat

Counter-Arguments

"He's always had a bit of a problem with his temper," Said the Créche Master, "It's not just anger, however. He's…passionate. When he is happy, he gets really happy, and when he is upset the whole room feels it. It's a shame, really, he's quite talented." She pulled out the hard copy of Obi-Wan's file. "He's one of the best with the lightsaber, and very skilled with mechanics, even at this young age. Master Yoda has been working with him regarding his emotions, but so far there has not been much progress."

"Well," Qui-Gon stated as he glanced over the file. Name: Kenobi, Obi-Wan, Gender: Male, Birthdate… "He seems to be having trouble with one initiate in particular, Chun, I believe?"

"Oh yes," Said the other Jedi, "Bruck Chun has an even worse control than Obi-Wan. It does seem that Bruck initiates most of their quarrels, but it's usually with little things, name-calling and insults. I don't know what to do about Obi-Wan…Bruck honestly seems like a lost cause at this point, but if I could get Kenobi to stop reacting so violently to his taunts, he might be chosen before his thirteenth birthday."

Qui-Gon frowned. "Did you get the report from the healers earlier?"

"Oh, were you there? Yes, I did, in fact. Obi-Wan threw a monitor at Bruck, from what I understand, though no one got hurt. I had a word with Bruck so far, I haven't had a chance to speak to Obi-Wan yet."

"I had a word with him already," Qui-Gon said uncomfortably, "I was there."

"Oh, you were?"

"I think Obi-Wan has a problem with articulation," He frowned even more, "I was able to gather that Initiate Chun had been sabotaging his homework. This seems a little more serious than mere name-calling, and it would explain why Obi-Wan has such a difficult time reining in his temper. It was a bit difficult to get this story out of him; if this is consistent with the other conflicts, it will be logical to conclude that since he is unable to fully explain his side of the story, it would be harder to teach him to deal with his issues."

"Bruck was sabotaging his homework?" The Créche Master rubbed her face. "What am I going to do with that boy? He'll never be trained by a master at this point. Despite my years of working with the younglings, sometimes I feel like I just don't understand them. Like why Kenobi never mentioned anything like this before."

Qui-Gon was not entirely certain either. "Something about standing up for himself, I think, but I wouldn't know where he got this from." He held up the files. "Thank you for these."

"Oh, no trouble at all, Master Jinn." The other Jedi smiled uncomfortably at him, no doubt still thinking about Chun.

OoO

"You still look funny," Qui-Gon told Mace. His jaw was still a bit swollen from when he had popped it out of its socket.

"Really? Well a fish chewed on your lightsaber."

Two could play that game. "Oh really? Well you're bald."

Mace rubbed his head. "Hm! I refuse to pursue this line of conversation. What's that?"

"One of the initiates," Qui-Gon waved the flimsies.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" Mace moved closer to the table to allow a padawan to pass. The archives were unusually full today because several classes had term papers due. "Is that the one whose legs were crushed?"

"The same."

"He was cute," Mace reflected, "In a sad way, crying while smiling. I think I'd like him as my padawan."

Qui-Gon shut the folder. "Are we going to have to duel over a child, Mace?"

"Bah! You'll lose."

"You don't know that."

"That's true, I don't." Mace finally took a seat on the opposite side. "He's kind of young though, don't you think?"

"Nine is not that far from twelve. Or eleven. It's only two or three years."

"Not for them it isn't. They have a lot of growing in those two to three years. Are you sure you want to take care of a youngster so early? It's better to leave that to the Créche Masters; we have it hard enough to train padawans for ten to fifteen years."

"I like the boy," Qui-Gon opened the folder again to look at another review, along with grades. "Why wait?"

"Huh." He could feel Mace staring at him. "That's…abrupt. Did the Force do a dance and point you toward him?"

"The Force doesn't dance, Mace."

"The Force dances you."

Qui-Gon whacked at him with the folder. "Are you going to say something useful, or are you going to keep making fun of me?"

"Well, all joking aside…are you sure, Qui-Gon? You were pretty adamant last time that you weren't going to take another padawan. You wanted your own life for a change, or so you said. Each child will be different, and we're not even certain if he is…well, good enough."

"He's good with the lightsaber," Qui-Gon said, looking at the comments, "High marks on everything, ahead of his class. Negotiating does need work though, if what I saw was anything to go by, but he's not shy," He paused, "And I like him. That's the most important part."

Mace looked wary. "You're not supposed to choose padawans because you like them, Qui."

Qui-Gon shut the folder again and slammed it lightly on the table. "Did you really just say that, Mace?"

"Fine, but it's not the only criteria you need."

"I know. That's why I'm looking at his files."

"You said he's not good at negotiating."

"What nine-year-old is good at negotiating?" Qui-Gon cocked an eyebrow. "If we really expected these children to be good at this sort of thing, our matches would not only be of lightsaber combat."

Mace inclined his head in concession. He drew a flimsy over to read while Qui-Gon continued to browse.

"He's passionate."

"Mm."

"Maybe Master Yoda can offer some more insight. He's still at that age where he works with Yoda."

"I'll ask him when he comes back from Alderaan."

"Hm. Brave boy though. Didn't make a sound when the debris fell on him. Other children would probably start bawling."

"You're not getting Obi-Wan without a duel."

"We are not going to duel over a youngling, Qui."

"Then you know to back off my initiate."

"Oh, so he's your initiate already? You've picked him already?"

"I like what I'm reading."

He did. The boy was intelligent, eager to learn. He apparently had three good friends that he was especially close to. The files mentioned Bruck Chun, how the animosity between the two was worrisome, but there was no doubt in any of the reviewers that Obi-Wan was a kindhearted lad, if a bit excitable.

What healthy boy was not?

"You better give that back," Qui-Gon held out his hand for the flimsy, "I don't want you seeing what I'm seeing."

Mace flicked the flimsy to him. "You bonded with this child quite suddenly," He observed, before standing up and thumping Qui-Gon on the shoulder. "I'll see you later."

OoO

Yoda blinked owlishly when Qui-Gon inquired about Obi-Wan.

"Interested in Kenobi, are you?"

"Obviously."

Yoda thwacked him on the shin with his walking stick for his smart answer. "A good boy, Kenobi is. Bad at controlling his temper, he is, and a bad match, the two of you make."

Qui-Gon blinked at this. "Wh-what?"

The Grand Master shook his head. "Strong in the Unifying Force, he is. Strong in the Living Force, you are. Unable to teach him, you are; unable to learn from you, he is."

Qui-Gon blinked rapidly, trying not to reveal how his heart had just plummeted past his stomach.

"Well," He stammered, following after Yoda quickly as the short Jedi master hobbled away, "Wait, but, if he's already strong in the Unifying Force, then—well, I can only be good for him, right? He'd be balanced."

That was pathetic.

Yoda gave him a look that pretty much said the same thing. "Young, Obi-Wan is. Time, there is, for both of you. Besides, declare you no longer want padawans, did you not?"

"You were always calling me foolish. Can't I change my mind about these things?"

The Grand Master gave him another look.

"Tell me, young one, why interested in him, are you?"

Qui-Gon experienced what Obi-Wan must have went through whenever he was asked what happened with Bruck.

"I'm not sure," He said after a hesitation, "I feel…drawn to him." He tried to describe it better. "When I visited him…I could feel his emotions, even more clearly than with my own padawans." It was only saying this now that he realized how bizarre this was, and he mentally kicked himself for not noticing this sooner. "Unless this is how everyone feels around him, I think we bonded already, Master Yoda."

"Hm." Yoda's face pinched a little.

Qui-Gon sighed, rubbing the back of his head in distress. Really? Unifying Force?

"Balance, he may need," Yoda said at last, "But wait, you two should. Still healing, he is, and some trials to follow, he still has. Time, there is, for both of you, to consider this alliance."

OoO

"You are not moping, are you?" Tahl patted him on the shoulder as she slipped past him and headed to the kitchens. "You're not allowed to do that after you've been knighted."

"I'm not moping."

I'm totally moping.

"If this is because of that boy, Qui, I swear I will smack you until your teeth fall out." She opened the cupboards.

"Yoda says I shouldn't train him."

"Really? Why not?"

"Because he has different talents than I can teach him."

"Well, that's only natural, padawans aren't all like their masters."

"He's strong in the Unifying Force. I am strong in the Living Force. I am absolutely blind to the future, or the past. My strength is in the present, which is precisely Obi-Wan's weakness."

"I notice that you keep calling him by his first name now." Tahl poured herself some berry juice. "Hm! Is it just me or has this thing gotten tangier since I last drank from it?"

"He's better off with someone strong in the Unifying Force." Qui-Gon ignored her, mostly talking to himself, "I mean, it's best if he found a master who is strong in the same area. It was how Dooku was with me. He was strong in the Living Force, and so was I."

"Do you have any cheese?" Tahl asked. "I have this craving for cheese."

"If he studies with me, he won't be able to grow in his talents and he will never be able to take advantage of my knowledge. The responsible thing would be to give him up to someone else."

"You need to keep more cheese in your fridge, Qui."

"A Jedi has no attachments."

"What's this brown stuff?"

Qui-Gon sighed heavily, leaning back on the couch.

Tahl shut the refrigerator door. "Is the child so special that you are this torn up about not having him as a padawan?"

Qui-Gon stared at her. "I know. I'm pathetic."

Tahl drained her glass and set it on the counter. "Come on, we're sparring."

OoO

"It was like the Force is Laughter. Happy, joyful laughter." Qui-Gon parried, then lunged. Tahl blocked. "He was like a child dragging his parent around in a mall. He showed me all these things, and the Force just…adored him. I've never seen anything like it. Everything was just so beautiful, and it was because his presence was there. He just had that wonderful perspective. It might be a result of his passionate nature? I don't know. But it was the most…absurdly wonderful thing I have ever experienced. He was like a little imp, wandering around a garden, and the garden lets him because he was just so precious."

Tahl drew back, blowing out a breath.

"Well, I certainly never experienced anything like what you're saying. It's a little troubling that a nine-year-old needed a master's help to meditate."

"I don't think most nine-year-old younglings tend to have both legs crushed under debris."

"Point." She slashed, and he ducked.

"His files said he's fine with meditation. Any child would have a problem when dealing with pain." He slashed next, and she blocked. They stopped talking briefly to exchange blows.

"Well, you obviously already developed some kind of bond with the young one. If it's mutual," Tahl gritted her teeth with an effort as their blades clashed, "You should pursue it, unless the Force wills otherwise. Have you meditated on this yet?"

"Not really," Qui-Gon admitted.

Tahl froze and glared at him in amazement and exasperation.

"And you already started moping? You call yourself a master?"

Qui-Gon fidgeted under her glower.

"I don't call myself a master. Other people call me master."

"Men! You never grow up!"

In truth, Qui-Gon was, for the first time, afraid to meditate. It was not very fitting of a Jedi, but Qui-Gon would be the last to claim that he was a perfect Jedi. Still, he was too pragmatic to lie to himself, and meditation had a way of allowing one to accept the state of affairs. There had been a reason he met Obi-Wan, had bonded with him so quickly. Perhaps he would not ultimately be the boy's master, but Obi-Wan's temper was a point of concern, crucial enough that other available masters may choose to reject him as a padawan. He had been able to connect with the boy—perhaps the Force guided him to the child to help him with his emotions.

It was not a very satisfying thought, but it seemed probable given the situation. From an unbiased point of view, the two really were not a good match. A Jedi who was strong in the Unifying Force had a very different mindset from one who was strong in the Living Force. The Living Force was all about the present, letting the Force guide one's actions and ignoring the consequences. It required a level of trust in the Force, a trust that requires the strong bond with that aspect of the Force those like Dooku and Qui-Gon had. The Unifying Force was completely different—it was all about weighing the past and the future to decide the present. The Force did not guide a person directly—there is no such connection between them, rather the Jedi is faced with choices and must choose wisely to select the best possible outcome. A Jedi like Obi-Wan who attempted to follow the methods of the Living Force would be constantly led astray, because they tug on the wrong strings. A Jedi like Qui-Gon attempting to follow the methods of the Unifying Force would also make many mistakes, because they would constantly ignore the correct path the Force already laid out for them. Qui-Gon could no more teach Obi-Wan how to follow the Living Force than he could teach him how to breathe in a vacuum, and the Jedi Master was so ill-versed in the Unifying Force, he could not fake any sort of guidance on that subject.

But how he wanted…and a Jedi should not desire, but Qui-Gon was not called a maverick for nothing, and he could not resist how the Force sung when the two meditated together, and his own heart soared in response, like a father setting eyes on his child for the first time. Already, he could hear echoes of Obi-Wan's young laughter.

"Someone needs to stay in the present," Tahl said with a turned lip. "Are you going to meditate or not?"

"I'm going, I'm going, you slave driver," Qui-Gon made a face at her as he used the Force to summon a towel to wipe his face with. "What is it with women and their need to boss people around?"

He did not bother ducking the Force swat that smacked into the back of his head when he turned away.

OoO

Meditation was usually a soothing, quiet affair, but Qui-Gon missed the sparkling, enchanting joy of Obi-Wan's presence next to his mind. It was different with different Jedi, but Obi-Wan's trance had been strange for someone strong in the Unifying Force. The Living Force had a distinctive Light Side and Dark Side, and those who followed the Light Side would be elevated, while those who followed the Dark Side would destroy themselves, like the Sith. The Unifying Force, according to Yoda, was a single entity that favored neither the Light nor the Dark, and as a result, most Jedi strove to follow the Living Force if they could, as the Unifying Force could easily muddle their minds and hearts. The Grand Master had claimed that his meditations showed him things that were, things that are, and things that can be. There was a certain healing infused in his meditations, but his strength was derived more from a sense of purpose than from the Force. "Our strength lies in our choices," Yoda had explained to him, "Your strength lies in your actions," and despite his rather considerable years, Qui-Gon still had no idea what the difference was. Still, he did know that the Unifying Force, by its nature, was less pure, and yet Obi-Wan's was just clean, untainted light. There had also been no real visions, just a level of existence in an environment of radiance, without past, present, or future possibilities.

If the Unifying Force was actually like that, Qui-Gon might indulge in a little envy for those who had that talent. Once he finished laughing at Yoda for being so wrong. The pain in his shins would be worth it.

Should he fight? Should he persist and be adamant about Obi-Wan? The boy was unusual, for certain, and it could be that Yoda was wrong after all. The Grand Master was not infallible, and he was in charge of many younglings at once. He would not have confused Obi-Wan with someone else, but he could get some details wrong. Children were taught how to meditate from an early age, and by the time they were six they could manage on their own. It could be that Obi-Wan's talents shifted in that time. It could be that Obi-Wan mastered the Unifying Force, and did not need more training in it.

He was grasping at loose straws. Qui-Gon forced himself to remain neutral. What should he do about Obi-Wan? His heart longed for it, longed to train the boy. The Force had always guided his heart, could it be wrong? He had never been wrong before, not when he listened to it.

Suppose he gives Obi-Wan up to another who shared his supposed talent.

Masters of the Unifying Force would only see what Obi-Wan could become. It was how such Force-users think. Their minds were always of the future, of destiny. They would see Obi-Wan's childish passion and foretell darkness and misery. Even the incidents with the bubbles would be viewed as a sign that he was unworthy. Qui-Gon knew how their thought processes turn. They would not see a cute nine-year-old boy. They would see an irritable, volatile man. They would not even try to meditate with him, instead simply ordering him to release his passion into the Force…and completely miss what an extraordinary mind he possessed.

It's not about training his Force-talents, Qui-Gon realized, It's not even him being a Jedi. It's just him. His personality, his wisdom, his temperament, his serenity, his happiness, independent of the Living Force or the Unifying Force. Another Jedi would beat that joy out of Obi-Wan. Happiness was not conducive to Jedi calm.

And the Force would lose this creature of sparkling laughter and animated curiosity.

Qui-Gon opened his eyes.

OoO

"Master Yoda, I want to take Obi-Wan Kenobi as my padawan."

"Not even a good evening, or apology!" The Grand Master scowled up at him, still in his nightclothes and blinking groggily at him. "Looking at you, think, one would, that no manners, we have taught! Just for this, wake me up, did you?"

On occasion, Qui-Gon found himself inadvertently speaking like Yoda after talking to him. "Meditated about the boy, I have." He blinked rapidly and tried to remember how to speak properly.

"Meditated, have you?" Yoda cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes. And take the boy, I want…as my padawan." Sith. He thought he had corrected his speech pattern that time. "Brought us together…The Force…The Force brought us together." For crying out loud, I'm over forty years old and I'm blabbering like a youngling…

"Saw it in the will of the Force, did you, or wanted to see this way, you did?"

Qui-Gon hesitated. "I was willing to see this in the Force, so it was easier."

"Hmph!" Yoda huffed. "And agree to this, the boy has?"

"No…" He is still sleeping.

"Talk about this when the sun is up, we will!" Yoda snapped. "To bed, you go!"

OoO

"I think you're being ridiculous." Kit's heavy head-tresses swung as he walked. "What is so special about a single child that you have to wake Master Yoda up in the wee hours of the morning?"

It, admittedly, had been an impulsive act on Qui-Gon's part, and definitely not worthy of his many years as master.

"You barely know the child, he barely knows you, he is still young enough to find a suitable master and you, frankly, are not suitable for him. As much of a maverick as you are, Qui-Gon, you are not such a radical that you can use the Living Force as the Unifying Force and vice versa."

Qui-Gon sighed heavily at this.

"I agree," Said Shaak Ti. "This is not a trivial difference. You will deprive the boy gravely if you take him as a padawan. Your gifts do not match. Now a future partnership, once he becomes a knight and a master, you two can balance each other, but he still has most of his training left to a master."

"I know." Qui-Gon sighed again.

"You're still going to pursue this, aren't you?" Kit remarked wryly.

"Well, there already is a bond, for better or for worse," Said Qui-Gon.

"You can break it," Said the Nautolan, "It's early enough, plus it's likely formed due to your initial rescue of him, which is natural enough. I would not persist with this if I were you, Qui-Gon."

Qui-Gon was silent.

"You don't want to," Shaak Ti stated.

"I think your attachment to the boy has clouded your judgment."

Qui-Gon sighed more heavily at this. "It could be that I should be his master for other reasons—have you thought of that?"

"Perhaps," Said Shaak Ti, "But they would have to be very good ones, in the face of this rather serious contrast."

OoO

"You are insane," Said Mace. "You should have discarded this idea as soon as Master Yoda told you he was strong in the Unifying Force. I really doubt there is a single master more pathetic with visions than you. Any one of us would be more suitable than you."

Qui-Gon's lips twisted at this.

"See him, we will," Said Yoda as his hoverchair floated forward, "Talk, we will after."

Tahl was silent behind them as they continued toward the healing wing.

Obi-Wan was in a hoverchair similar to Yoda's, thin legs now in splints rather than casts. The boy was testing out the controls for the first time as his three friends watched. One of them was a Mon Calamari girl who looked rather like the one that was trapped under the rubble.

"I can't wait for them to finish rebuilding," One of the boys exclaimed as the Jedi masters made their way to the room, "They've sealed that section off but I don't see anyone going in to do anything."

The children then turned their heads as one once the adults entered, and Qui-Gon was struck by the differences. Obi-Wan's friends were the epitome of proper Jedi initiates, with grave countenances and a proper, calm posture. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, grinned broadly at the adults, and dipped his head in an imitation of the bow his friends executed.

Not inappropriate, but certainly more expressive than most nine-year-old initiates.

Mace and Tahl glanced at each other.

"Masters," The children murmured.

"Initiate Kenobi," Yoda hovered his chair forward, "How feel you?"

"Better, Master Yoda," Obi-Wan was still smiling widely, "They said I can move around and attend classes now!" Then he started giggling, "I got a chair just like yours!"

Yoda did smile at this. "Mm. Good, good. Good, improvement is."

Obi-Wan then beamed at Qui-Gon, the little one's Force signature singing to him in anticipation. The other children, noticeably, were controlling their feelings.

A fault, Qui-Gon knew. The others would see this as a fault. He stepped forward and knelt in front of the boy.

"Have you been meditating properly?" He asked with a smile.

Obi-Wan nodded eagerly, giggling a little. "It was easier after you helped, Master."

The Force jingled around them, soft, gentle, happy. He heard Mace inhale sharply, but most of his attention was focused on the boy. It occurred to him that they could hardly expect the child to be able to contain himself when the Force danced so enthusiastically around him, like a parent at a dear child. Usually, at this age, the Force settles, becoming soothing, calm waves instead of the playful turns around Obi-Wan.

"Do you want to come walk with me in the gardens?" He asked.

"We can find another giant cockroach, Master?"

Yoda snorted.

"I hope not!" Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows, "I don't like giant cockroaches."

Obi-Wan giggled. "Alright. Giant butterflies."

"Giant butterflies, then." Qui-Gon rose. "Your friends can come along, if they want."

"Yes! Yes they do, Master!" Obi-Wan nodded eagerly at his friends, who looked more nervous about this than excited. "Come on, Garen! Reeft! Bant! Ow!" He winced, abruptly going still, having jarred his legs in his excitement.

Qui-Gon stroked his hands down the young one's legs, infusing them with a stream of the Living Force. Obi-Wan gasped at this.

"How did you do that, Master?" He asked in amazement, "Can you teach me how to do that, Master?"

A heavy silence fell unintentionally at this. Obi-Wan blinked, alarmed by this. "S-sorry, Master Jinn."

Qui-Gon smiled at him, trying not to look wistful. "We shall see, young one. Come, let's go to the gardens. You can introduce me to your friends."

"You can introduce me to yours too!"

Qui-Gon laughed loudly at this, while Mace and Tahl snorted.

"Yes," He said, "Of course I will, little one."