Lionblaze has a Shadow. Part 2: Deny My Attractions

"That was the most embarrassing expieriance of my entire life!" Hollyleaf slammed the car door behind Lionblaze, not caring that she almost crushed his fingers. "You and Jayfeather are forbidden from my book club! i hope your happy!" Hollyleaf half yelled, half cryed.

"I'm devastated," Jayfeather said flatly.

"Like, did you see the look on Ravenpaws face? he thinks i'm a freak!" Hollyleaf sobbed. Lionblaze sighed, getting tired of Hollyleaf making a big show out of him accidently dropping his hamburger. He pulled out a pack of smokes.

"for gods sake have a cigerrette and calm the hell down," Lionblaze said.

"You idiot! you know we don't smoke in my car!" Hollyleaf screamed. She took the smoke anyway. They went a few miles without anyone saying anything, and Lionblaze was just starting to relax when Hollyleaf spoke again. "im sorry, Lionblaze. i'm not mad to you."

"Oh really."

Hollyleaf sighed. "I'm not. i just feel like a loser."

"Your not the one with the ketchup all over your shirt."

"And you didn't just make a fool of yourself in front of the one person who's truly special to you! Look Lionblaze, i'm sorry i dragged you to my meetings and i'm sorry i made you read those books. Would it have been so bad just to tell me that you hated it?"

Lionblaze slumped in his seat, suddenly feeling ashamed. "I'm sorry," he said. Hollyleaf smiled at him through the mirror and Lionblaze knew that Hollyleaf accepted his apology.

"I thought Ravenpaw was gay," Jayfeather said suddenly.

Hollyleafs friendly expression suddenly turned dark. "Excuse me?" she snapped. Jayfeather ran his fingers through his hair. "He was staring at me the whole time we were at the resturant."

"He was freaked out because you kept checking him out," Lionblaze said.

"i was not!" Jayfeather screeched.

"Uh, yeah. you totally were," Lionblaze grinned. Hollyleaf snorted from the front seat. "Jayfeather, is there something you want to tell us?"

Jayfeather scowled. "go to hell."

"Were you or were you not checking out Ravenpaw? Just answer the question," Lionblaze was serious now. He thought Jayfeather was joking along at first, but the way his face was burning red was making him wonder if he was kidding or not. Hollyleaf grinned.

"The real question here," she said, while Jayfeather remained mute. "Is why Jayfeather isn't denying it?"

At this, Jayfeather finally regained the ability to talk. "You guys are effing retarded. I wasn't checking him out, and if i was looking at him it was because i was probably because i was zoned out from talking about that stupid book."

"You think he's hot don't you," Hollyleaf said.

Jayfeather kicked the back of her seat and she lurched forward, nearly steering off into the ditch.

"Fuck you. i'm not gay," Jayfeather said furiously. Hollyleaf just rolled her eyes and didn't speak for the rest of the ride home. Lionblaze couldn't meet his brothers eyes.

LATER ON THAT NIGHT

The ringing phone woke up Lionblaze. Cursing under his breath, he looked over at his clock. Four in the freaking morning. Lionblaze stumbled into the kitchen and picked up the phone. "Yeah?" he snapped.

"Lionblaze?" a girls voice answered. Lionblaze was suddenly wide awake.

"Heatherpaw?"

"Lionblaze, im sorry for calling so late but i've been up all night thinking," Heatherpaw usually cheerful voice was cold.

"Thinking about what?"

A long pause echoed in Lionblaze's ears.

"Heatherpaw?"

"I don't think we should see each other anymore," Heatherpaw paused as if she was going to saw something else, then hung up aruptly. Lionblaze put the phone back on the wall and sat down on the couch. Why did you break up with me? he thought . Ive done nothing but try to be the best for you! and you don't even have a reason! you stupid, selfless bitch! i hate you! i love you... Lionblaze grabbed his hair and pulled it until he felt pain. When it started to feel like it was going to pull out Lionblaze let go. Sighing, he trudged up the stairs and opened the door to Jayfeathers room. He looked at Jayfeather peacefully sleeping and felt tears welling in his eyes. Jayfeather never had to worry about ANYTHING. His life is so perfect. i hate it, Lionblaze thought resentfully. He punched Jayfeather on the arm.

"Hey!" he woke up instantly.

"Your stupid and i hate your perfect life!" Lionblaze screamed. Jayfeather ran his fingers through his hair and stared at Lionblaze.

"What the hell dude, its four in the fucking mor-"

Lionblaze cut him off. Leaping to his feet he glared menecingly at Jayfeather.

"I hate you! i hate the way you never have to deal with anything painfull! how your hair is so perfect and lovely and how mine is short and stupid looking!" Lionblaze yelled. Jayfeather stared at him dumbfoundedly. Lionblazes legs crumbled and he sat down on the end of Jayfeathers bed, crying. "Heatherpaw broke up with me," he sobbed.

"What? Why?" Jayfeather said.

"I DON'T KNOW! SHE DIDN'T TELL ME!" Lionblaze shrieked. Jayfeather laid his hand on his brothers shoulder. "She's a idiot, Lionblaze. She doesn't deserve you. Shes probably sitting at home wondering why she was so stupid."

"i never did anything wrong to her! i even forgave her when i found that bag of white powder under her bed!"

"Wait, what?"

"and now shes gone.." Lionblaze picked a sock off the floor and started trying to tear it in half. "If your gonna do that, can you rip ur own socks..." Jayfeather started to say as Lionblaze succeded in tearing the sock. Lionblaze threw the sock back on the ground and stood up.

"I refuse to be upset by this," Lionblaze said unconvincinally.

"...sure u are," Jayfeather replied.

"Can we go to McCat?"

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now. if you havnt forgotten, you forced me to go to McCat in the middle of the night once because you had a bad dream."

"That was six years ago."

Lionblaze rolled his eyes. "Get your coat. i'll get Hollyleaf." Jayfeather sighed inwardly as he realized he had no choice.

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