Lionblaze has a Shadow: Part 7. Firestars Party 2
"Jayfeather, are you ready to go?" Lionblaze yelled, banging on his brothers door. "Im coming in!" he opened his door to find Jayfeather sitting 1 foot away from Hollyleafs face, carefully doing her makeup.
"What the hell?" Lionblaze shook his head in disgust. "You guys are so freaking weird. Jayfeather, what is that on your face? Your not seriously going out like that, are you?"
"Yeah, we are," Hollyleaf said before Jayfeather could say anything. "Its for a joke on Firestar. Remember at one of his partys he woke up with all that makeup on? Well we're going to show up like this to remind him not to drink so much."
"I see," Lionblaze said. "Well, i guess that makes sense. And the same goes for you too. I know its Firestars birthday, and i know you always drink way to much at his partys. Cough, Jayfeather."
Jayfeather scowled at him. "I'm not drinking tonight you idiot. Now are you going to participate in our joke or not?" Lionblaze thought for a second. "I guess. None of that mascara shit though."
Later on. NOTHING ILLEGAL GOIN ON HERE NOPE NOPE
"Oh its only a FEW people," Jayfeather rudely mimicked his brothers voice. He was sitting at a table with Lionblaze and Hollyleaf, and there was another thirteen tables, all completly filled with Firestars friends. Hollyleaf was on her fourth drink already.
"This is sooo stupid! They always mix my drinks too much and it breaks all the ice!" Hollyleaf said a bit to loudly. She sloshed it around a bit in the glass, causing it to slip and spill all over her pants.
"Shit," she giggled. "Thats the second time thats happened already!"
Jayfather inwardly groaned. He could tell this was going to be a long night already and they'd only been here for 45 minutes. Lionblaze was half cut already too. He stood up, to announce briefly he was going to the bathroom.
"You've gone like 6 effing times," Jayfeather snapped.
"My body is on a scedule," Lionblaze huffed, and stumbled away. Hollyleaf sighed loudly, and stared at Jayfeather trying to catch his attention.
"What?" Jayfeather said at last.
"Can you plleeease give me a cigerette?" Hollyleaf looked absolutely pertified he'd say no. Jayfeather sighed loudly. "Is that really necessary?"
"You have no fucking idea how necessary this is."
Jayfeather threw her his whole pack. "Don't chain smoke them," he told her. "Ive see you do that and its disgusting."
Hollyleaf showed no sign that she heard him. Jayfeather painfully watched her stand up and shakily walk over to Ravenpaw, sitting on his lap even though there was a sandwich there. Jayfeather looked around, wondering why he had agreed to come. It was no fun when he wasnt drunk too, but he had agreed to drive Hollyleaf and Lionblaze home later. Hollyleaf was sitting with Ravenpaw, Berrynose, Honeyfern, and two other cats Jayfeather didn't reconize. Firestar was in the middle of the whole charade, sitting on a chair on top of a table, with like a zillion other cats crowded around him. Jayfeather turned his head away, refusing to think of what happened with Firestar on his website. He wondered where Lionblaze went, and hoped he didn't wander outside.
"Hey! Jayfeather!"
Jayfeather turned around to see Hollyleaf sprawled out on the table on her belly. She was smiling and holding out her cup. "Try it," she whispered. "Its really tasty."
Jayfeather grabbed it and set it on the table next to him.
"Get off the table. Please. People are staring," Jayfeather found an empty seat and helped Hollyleaf sit up on it. She threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, let them stare, Lionblaze," Jayfeather didn't inturupt to point out that he wasn't Lionblaze.
"They all love me, Lionblaze," she slurred. "They all want to kiss me because ... they think im prettyyy," she laughed, her eyes rolling around. But Hollyleafs face had lost its laughter, replaced with an icy coldness.
"Hey, Hollyleaf," Ravenpaw said. "Firestars taking the party back to his place. Apparently Brambleclaw got caught with drugs and we're all getting thrown out."
"Ha, who are you?" Hollyleaf sneered. Jayfeather had a terrible feeling in his chest that Hollyleaf was about to say something really stupid. Ravenpaw looked hurt. "Ravenpaw... your boyfriend," was his reply. Hollyleaf tipped her head back and laughed again.
"Tell me who you are or i'll find someone else," she giggled. Jayfeather slapped her across the face. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" He yelled. "What the hell do you think your doing?" He turned to Ravenpaw, who looked like he was about to cry.
"Hey, Ravenpaw, she doesn't mean it," He said quietly.
"Yeah right," Ravenpaw scowled. "She always acts stupid when she drinks."
"She loves you, Ravenpaw. With all her heart." Jayfeather said truthfully. Ravenpaw sighed.
"I know. I guess i've done stupid things too."
"Yeah, you have," Hollyleaf blurted out, before falling off her chair.
"Stop talking," Jayfeather snapped. "Your such an idiot, Hollyleaf." This caused Hollyleaf to burst into tears, which was so not what Jayfeather was expecting. He looked exasperatedly up at Ravenpaw.
"I've got to go find my brother. Can you take care of her for me?" He asked. Ravenpaw, who still looked hurt over Hollyleafs words, nodded his head yes. Jayfeather was starting to worry where Lionblaze was. He walked up to the bar, and asked the bartender if he had seen him.
"Hey, kid, i dont know. Go ask your fucking boyfriend of something," the bartender laughed in Jayfeathers face. Jayfeather felt a rush of hatred.
"Excuse me?" he hissed, suddenly remembering he was wearing makeup. The bartender cursed under his breath and walked away, shaking his head like Jayfeather was some sort of alien. Jayfeather sat down at an empty table, and tryed not to cry at how scared he was. Lionblaze disapeared. Hollyleaf was horribly drunk. And Jayfeather was sitting here alone, insulted by the bartender. Jayfeather scanned the room for a friendly face. There was none, just faces confused and blurry. Tears started to fall down Jayfeathers face as he realized how messed up he was, and how he wished he didn't have to see his friends make fools of themselves like this. He knew inside he was making a big deal out of nothing, but it all felt so overwhelming. Then a face appeared in Jayfeathers blurry vision. He wiped his eyes and blinked. It was Cloudtail.
"Don't you look cute!" Cloudtail grinned. The hollow, depressed feeling in Jayfeather evaporated.
"Hi," he smiled. Cloudtail was wearing silver eyeliner and Jayfeather thought it looked amazing. Cloudtails smile suddenly disapeared as he noticed Jayfeathers bloodshot eyes.
"Were you crying?" He asked.
"No. Its allergies," Jayfeather lied.
"Aww Jayfeather! Dont cry, its okay!" Cloudtail reached over and hugged him, and Jayfeather was worryed he would start crying too. Luckily, he didn't.
"So can i get you a drink?" Cloudtail batted his eyelashes at Jayfeather.
"Im not drinking tonight," Jayfeathers face flushed red and he looked away.
"Oh thats no fun! I'll get you a really good one, i promise!" Cloudtail dashed off. Jayfeather frantically started patting his hair to make sure it wasn't sticking up funny. Then he looked down and was relieved to see Hollyleaf sitting back up on her chair, and Ravenpaw didn't look mad anymore. He also noticed Brambleclaw and his group were gone, along with Firestar. Cloudtail returned with two glasses.
"Sprite for you and Absolut for me!" Cloudtail grinned.
"Sprite? What am i, fucking 15 years old?"
"Im kidding. Its the same as mine," Cloudtail flipped his hair out of his face. Jayfeather took a sip.
"Its really good," he said. Cloudtail looked pleased. Jayfeather took another sip (more like a chug), and asked Cloudtail if he had seen his brother anywhere.
"He got kicked out with Brambleclaw and them," Cloudtail said. Jayfeather choked on his drink.
"What? Where did he go?"
"I don't know. he's fine, Jayfeather. The bartender called them a cab so he's probebly at Brambleclaws."
Jayfeather groaned. "But Firestar went with them so they're probebly back at his house! They're probebly over there doing cocaine or something!"
Cloudtail raised his eyebrows. "Is that seriously what you think they're doing?" he scoffed.
"Well, no," Jayfeather admitted. "But whenever Firestars involved something bad always happens."
"Give your brother a chance, Jayfeather," Cloudtail finsished his drink in one swallow. "He's not as perfect as you are." Cloudtail got up from his chair. "Would you like another drink?" he asked. Jayfeather nodded his head yes and stood up too. The room spun slightly around him, and Jayfeather decided he didn't really care anymore.
later on...
"Cloudtail, do you have a cigerette?" Jayfeather asked desperatly. Cloudtail thought for a second, and Jayfeather took the time to stare awestruck at how beautiful Cloudtail was. He was so wonderful, Jayfeather smiled whenever he looked at him. Cloudtail finally pulled out one and Jayfeather forced himself to stop staring. Cloudtail handed it to him without saying anything. Jayfeather took it gratefully. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Jayfeather didn't know what to talk about. Jayfeather picked up his half full drink to take a sip of it, but Cloudtail reached out and stopped him. Jayfeather looked up at him, confused.
"I don't want to see you like you saw Hollyleaf earlier," Cloudtail said. Jayfeather raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah? Well you've drank like 6 cups more then me, you know."
"I know, and im perfectly happy."
"Well of course you are, your chugging back a big cup of-" Jayfeather grabbed Cloudtails drink and took a swallow.
"...Sprite," Jayfeather said in surprise when he realized what it was.
"Yeah. I don't drink," Cloudtail explained.
"WHAT? Why not?" Jayfeather asked.
"Because im already happy enough, i dont feel the need to ruin that with alcohol," Cloudtail smiled. "Im with you."
"Your with me," Jayfeather repeated.
"Jayfeather, can i tell you something?"
"Go ahead."
Cloudtail paused.
"What?" Jayfeather said.
"I think i might be in love with you," Cloudtail said after several long seconds. Jayfeather sobered up at once.
"What?" he stared at Cloudtail.
"I know you don't love me, so im not expecting you to say anything back. I just needed to tell you," Cloudtail flicked an imaginary lint off his sweater. Jayfeather sat in a pained silence, thinking of what to say. Finally, he spoke.
"Your right, I dont love you."
Cloudtail tryed to hide the hurt on his face and failed. "I know," he said miserably. "I shouldn't have told you," Cloudtail started to get up, but Jayfeather grabbed him by the sleeve.
"I don't love you, Cloudtail. But i could."
"Don't try to make me feel better, Jayfeather. It wont work," tears started brimming Cloudtails eyes.
"You don't get it," Jayfeather said. "I may not love you, and the only reason for that is because i forced myself not to. I never, ever thought u would like me. But i couldn't control my feelings entirely, well, i guess no one can. I want to be with you, Cloudtail. i want to hold your hand and make you happy more then anyone else. Id love to have you by my side, because id love you more then anyone in the world," Jayfeather choked out the last words. He couldn't believe he actually said it. Cloudtails eyes widened in surprise.
"You really mean that?" he whispered.
"With all my heart. I may not love you..."
"But i know you could," Cloudtail smiled, and Jayfeather felt like a million weights lift off his shoulders. He wasn't alone anymore, and it was the best feeling in the world.