A/N: I finally pulled my lazy ass off the chair and did this. Sigh. On a brighter note, school finals are over, which means school's over, which means more free time for me! Hurrah! (shot again)

Chapter 7

Today was the day they were going back to Italy.

So proclaimed Marmon, at least. But Squalo said that too yesterday, and look what happened to him (Filai: It's a jinxed phrase. Don't say it unless you want to get eaten.), so in the end, she didn't exactly bother packing her bags quite just yet. If they do happen to go back today, then she'll just live with being bitched at for five hours and be done with it.

In other news, she just realized that she hadn't seen Tsuna for a very long time (one day), and was blissfully reveling in the absence of the poisonous substance that was Sawada Tsunayoshi's good will when she literally ran straight into him and caused copious amounts of things to fall.

Not really. Just her coffee, which conveniently ended up on Tsuna's head, but that's irrelevant (Tsuna: EEEKKKKK! HOT!) and insignificant (Tsuna: IT BURNS!) and even if it weren't, nobody gives a crap (TSUNA: I'M DYING!).

After gingerly picking herself up from the ground, Filai turned to stare at the hysterical middle schooler. "You know, there's a drinking fountain right next to us."

"HOW'S THAT GOING TO HELP?" Tsuna sobbed, still flailing in agony. Was the coffee that hot? The most it could've been is 100 degrees Fahrenheit before it evaporates. Oh whatever, since it's not like she's not enjoying the scene.

Back to the drinking fountain. "Here. Let me give you some assistance." She pressed the fountain button, blocking the water flow with her finger at just the right angle. It changed its direction and squirted straight into Tsuna's eyes.

Needless to say, that wasn't the most helpful action ever, if those shrieks were indication of anything.

Life without a functional conscience is a damn wonderful thing. You can find pleasure in the simplest of anything, much more often.

Five minutes later.

"S...so...how've you been, Filai san?" Tsuna asked, still rubbing a sore red patch on his face and sniffing pitifully.

"...fine." Almost fifty percent of my colleagues are dead, if that's useful. "I'm just going to the hospital to visit some associates who were nearly killed but are miraculously alive."

Tsuna's already large eyes widened even more. "Y...your friends were nearly killed? Are they alright?" He stammered, unnecessarily concerned as was his wont.

Filai shrugged, absentmindedly sipping the remainders of her coffee (It really wasn't that hot). "I guess." Didn't you hear the "miraculously alive" part? AND THEY'RE NOT MY FRIENDS! THEY'RE COLLEAGUES, DAMN IT! "So what are you up to these days, Tsunayoshi kun? You're looking rather stressed. Kids like you shouldn't be having lines like that between your eyes just yet, you know."

He laughed nervously, all the while self consciously feeling his forehead. "Y...yeah, I guess...Things have been kinda...hard...recently." He mumbled, looking sadly down at his feet, brooding over said hard things that Filai obviously didn't give a shit about because it had nothing to do with her.

"Oh really now? I'm sorry to hear that." Not really. But let's pretend. "Well, if you're in trouble, you can always run off to a different country." Filai offered. "I came from Italy, for instance. Sicily's nice." If you don't mind the more than necessary gang shootouts between different Mafia families. I don't know why they still do that. Political battles are the real deal these days. So much more elegant and contemporary than splattering brains out on the sidewalks, though I do admit the whole scene afterwards is quite nice. I love taking morning walks through areas like that, with biology books and the fresh smell of blood and guts. Ahahaha...

"Eh? You came from Italy, Filai san?" Tsuna asked, surprised.

"Yes, didn't I tell you?"

"No...you just said you came from Europe, that's all."

And you really can't tell the difference between an Italian and...any other European, you little prick? No, of course not. It's manga. Nobody can tell who's what judging by appearance. If that were the case, then nobody would know what the hell SHE was (green hair isn't exactly natural in real life, I'd say). But she didn't know that. "Oh, well, now you know."

For some reason, Tsuna was wearing a very alarmed expression. He paled several shades, that's for sure, and was staring at her with eyes that were so fucking large they were liable to pop straight out of his socket.

"What, do you have something against Italians?"

"No...NO!" He nearly yelled, panicked. "Th...that's not it...it's just..." That every single Italian he's met happened to be in the Mafia. But he couldn't tell her that. "E...er...sorry. I'm just surprised, that's all! Ahaha, I thought you were...eh...British!"

Filai shifted an eyebrow doubtfully. "British..." She repeated. "You thought I was British."

He nodded furiously. "Y...yeah! Really! I did! Um...yeah...you know...since you're...uh..." He paused to think of a good word. "British...ish..."

"...ish..."

"...yeah...ish..."

Silence.

"So not only are you bad at science, but you're bad at formulating intellectual words as well."

"Y...yeah..." He gulped. "Your name...doesn't really sound...Italian."

She crossed her arms. "Of course not. It's just a nickname." Well, Xanxus thinks it's my real name. Damn those document misprints. "My real name has the last two letters switched. The whole thing's...um..." Pause. "What was it again...oh yes." (Tsuna: You can't remember your name? Filai: Shut up. I haven't USED it for years). "Filia Ecketo Sanchia Viavideche."

Long name. Tsuna blinked. What was her first name again? "Oh...it's really...uh...fancy." He said truthfully. "I guess that's why you took a while to remember it. Ahahaha..."

"Hah. You don't have to say something like that. Nobody remembers it." She dismissed. "So what's with all this interest in me being Italian anyways? I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal."

Tsuna cringed at the skepticism in her tone. His excuse really wasn't holding up. At this rate, she'll really start being suspicious. "I'm sorry." He said, hanging his head in shame. "I...I just thought you were in the Mafia for a moment."

Because Filai was the smartest thing in, like, ever, she didn't get suspicious at fucking all despite being told by a highly dimwitted middle school student that he accurately thought that she was in the Mafia. The little brat thought she was British. Just because she came from Europe. Pft. He probably used the same mindset to come to the conclusion that she was a Mafia member just because she came from Italy.

Honestly, this is a perfect example of how ravaged the world is by stereotypes. Poor world.

But who knows? Maybe Tsuna really IS the other side's boss candidate for the Vongola familia. How strange would that be?

Very strange. Enough said. ANYWAYS!

"Not everyone from Italy is from the Mafia, Tsunayoshi kun." Filai stated airily. "Just like how not everyone from Japan likes sushi...I think."

Tsuna gave her a puzzled look. "But everyone I know loves sushi...except for Gokudera. But he's part Italian too, so he doesn't count too much."

"Is he now? You seem to know quite a few Italians yourself, Tsunayoshi kun." She rolled her eyes disinterestedly, kicking a pebble on the ground and nailing Tsuna, who didn't notice it at all. "Are you sure you're not in the Mafia yourself?"

Because Tsunayoshi was NOT the smartest thing in, like, ever, he didn't at all catch the blatant sarcasm in her tone and immediately assumed, with unmitigated horror, that she really was suspecting him of being in the Mafia, and instead of denying it, decided that the best way to end things with the least amount of misunderstanding was to tell the plain and simple truth. He gulped, feeling the sweat building. "Um...Filai san...actually...I have something to tell you."

"You always do, unfortunately."

"Something important!"

"Of course YOU'D think it's important, Tsunayoshi kun, otherwise you wouldn't bother telling me."

Tsuna ignored the evil remark, for once. "The truth is..." He began. "That...that..." He faltered, then blurted out. "...I really am in the-"

"Oh wow, those school uniforms those kids are wearing look like garbage uniforms." Filai suddenly interrupted, looking far at a pair of middle school students, one standing slightly slouched and one crouching, looking at a tray of store goods. "Whoever picks that school really has bad taste."

Following her view, Tsuna turned. "That's...Kokuyo students." He said quizzically. "They're from the neighboring town. Strange. They don't really come into Namimori that often."

Did you say something interesting? Cause all I hear is blah blah BLAH. "How interesting." Was the indifferent reply.

A sign was blocking the slouching kid's face from sight and the slouching kid was blocking the crouching kid's face from sight. "I wonder who they are." Tsuna arched his neck to take a better look, to no avail. Filai simply waited until they've walked close enough for a better look. When they did so, Tsuna's jaw slackened.

Meanwhile, Filai was busy playing with her not so literally but still very screwed up hair. Yeah...a guy with a beanie and glasses. How fucking astonishing. This should be listed as one of the Seven Wonders of the World, shouldn't it? "Do you know him, Tsunayoshi kun?"

Meanwhile, Tsuna was stuttering like a lunatic, staring single mindedly at the glasses one with something close to hysterical shock. "N...no way...I'm hallucinating. I seriously hallucinating." He repeated, over and over and over again, trying to regain dignity that never existed. "It can't be. That's not...possible. I must be tired, right?" He laughed shakily. "Yeah, that's it. I'm just seeing things. Filai san, you don't see a really tall guy with glasses, do you?"

"Yes, I do, actually. Slouchy, bar code on his face." She could go on." Ring a bell?"

"I'M NOT HALLUNCINATING!" Tsuna sobbed, clutching his head in sheer alarm. His darted around, as if intuitively searching for signs of a possible someone else. "B-but if he's here, then-"

The crouching kid stood up and turned to face him. Oddly enough, he reminded Filai of a...kitten. Strange. Humans and cats were never very close in appearance. He glared with startling viciousness at Tsuna, who promptly shrieked like a female and fainted with a small thud.

Filai kicked him experimentally, and decided to neglect the fact that she couldn't even make him budge. Wow. One hit K.O. Who knew a guy's face could be that scary? I mean, he should see Xanxus' expression on a bad day.

The catty kid was swearing and stomping on Tsuna's useless lump of flesh that was barely passable as a comatose body. "I can't believe we lost to this THING!" He yelled. "Just thinking about it is pissing the crap out of me!"

She was just about to ask how they could lose to something so miserable a creature like Sawada Tsunayoshi when a squeaky voiced "Ciaossu" caught their attention. Ah, that Reborn kid. Surprisingly enough, the two Kokuyo students seemed to know the brat too, for they immediately began ranting about one thing or another that obviously didn't involve her. Though she did by sheer chance catch a name. Mukuro? She recalled Marmon mentioning something about a Mukuro Rokudo while reading the papers. Some nut job that broke out of prison the day before his execution, if her memory served her correctly. How would they know a Mafioso? No, the case received a lot of media attention, so I guess it isn't too surprising. Filai thought, frowning. Though I didn't think it'd reach Japan, especially in such a small town.

"So, Filai." After some small talk with the Kokuyo kids, Reborn turned to her, breaking her out of her thoughts. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Tsuna. You're Italian, aren't you?"

Honestly, what is the big deal with me being Italian? "Yes."

"What did you say your full name was again?"

Pause. "Filia Ecketo Sanchia Viavideche"

Reborn frowned. "Viavideche." He repeated. Filai asked if there was something wrong and he merely shook his head. "No. It's just an interesting name, that's all. By the way...do you..."

"Do I what?"

He thought for a moment. "Do you recognize Tsuna from somewhere?"

Recognize him? "Not at all." Was the immediate reply. "Never seen the kid before in my life until a few days ago." If I did, I would've remembered a scrawny useless douche like him. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious." He answered. "Anyways, we have to get going now. Some business to take care of."

"Is it this sumo/boxing nonsense I've been hearing about?"

Reborn smiled. "Something like that." And proceeded to easily dragging Tsuna off with one hand. "Take care."

She was already gone from sight when he began thinking. "Viavideche..." He muttered to himself, occasionally kicking Tsuna for the heck of it. "So that's...I heard that she was never seen again after the Cradle Affair. She doesn't seem to know who Tsuna is. It might not be her though..."

This called for a visit with Dino.

A while later.

Dino nearly spat out his drink. He hastily wiped his mouth on his sleeve as he stared wide eyed at Reborn. "O...oh. You mean the youngest Viavideche kid?" He asked, hesitantly. "W...what about her?"

"What was she like? You used to hang out with her a little, didn't you?"

"Well...yeah. She was always with Squalo before she disappeared. So of course I met her at some point in time." He recalled. "She was a really cute kid back then, except she'd always become really depressed when Squalo was gone and do some pretty nasty things (like what happened to my classmate. Urg, poor Tony)...yeah...she had a huge attachment to him. So I'm not surprised that she showed up with him here-" Ah, wait. He wasn't supposed to say that. Crap.

Reborn's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "She's here in Japan?"

Silence. Then. "PLEASE DON'T TELL HER I TOLD YOU!" Dino begged, and Reborn really wondered what the hell was so creepy about Filai-who, he recalled, collapsed from exhaustion for absolutely no reason at all...many times. "SHE'LL RIP MY ORGANS OUT! OR...OR GORGE MY EYES OUT WITH A SPOON, OR...SHE'LL CASTRATE ME, REBORN!"

"...I thought you said she was cute..."

"I meant the first time I met her! And she still can be cute sometimes, but not when she's pissed! She's really physically weak, but...I don't know! She was probably some military strategist in her past life or something!" Dino almost cried. "She doesn't kill her victims either! She traumatizes them for life and lands them in the psycho ward! Please don't tell her I said anything!"

Sometimes, Reborn really wondered about that girl.

Marmon was possibly going to get his tiny ass kicked as well, so Filai decided to make sure he...well, DIDN'T, by trying to bloody him up so much that his opponent wouldn't be able to find it in his heart to kill him just be-fucking-cause he'd be so adorable when he was all gory and gutted and stuff...

Was how she put it. Needless to say, her attempt wasn't taken too well.

"I was just trying to help." She said despondently, gingerly edging away from a blue tentacle protruding from Marmon's hood. Seriously though. How DO you do that sort of thing? It's really gross, you know.

"Illusions." He replied, fwishing the tentacle back into his clothes. "Not that you'd have the skill to avoid it."

Filai mumbled something about underage wizards (isn't there an age limit to this sort of stuff?) before returning to her coffee. "Then again, you don't use it much, do you? Are you going to in the match?"

"I've already asked for the boss' permission, as a matter of fact." Marmon said, feeding a piece of gut...I mean, cookie to his strange black frog. "You're lucky that I'm going next. If we lose this match, then you'll have to fight. And most likely lose."

While Filai was indignantly sputtering a protest, Marmon checked the clock. "It's almost the appointed time." He said, standing up from his little cushion that he had forced Filai to sew up on pain of death. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be going."

"Will I have to be left behind again?" She called after his retreating back.

Marmon smiled pleasantly. "But of course. Do you realize that one of the main reasons we're actually concerned about losing too much is that if we all lose, then you'll have to fight, thus forcing us to admit that someone as thoroughly worthless as yourself is actually a part of the Varia?"

Quiet.

Um, Marmon. You do realize that you're a big fat ugly son of a bitch, right? Someday, karma's going to kill you. In fact, you might even die in the battle with the other side's mist guardian. And then I'll laugh.

Marmon didn't return.

"He lost." A very cheerful Bel reported, the grim news made quite colorful with his quaint little giggles. "To a girl."

And Filai was much unhappy. Oh my god, is it my fault for saying something like that to him before he left? Did I VOODOO HIM OR SOMETHING? HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT! THIS IS FUCKING HORRIBLE! "Was he...really bloodied up when he died?"

"It was all illusions. There weren't any real casualties."

Filai glowered. Damn it. I wanted to at least see his bloody corpse.

Levi added. "Marmon didn't die. He escaped. Boss had ordered Gola Mosca to hunt him down."

Nooo! Don't do it, Gola Mosca! I thought we were friends! "Please don't."

"Too late now. Marmon lost." And Bel's already huge grin grew even more. He needed a bigger face to fit it. Maybe it'd help if she accidentally flattened him a little with a bulldozer. "Shishishi. And you know what that means?" Judging by the pure ecstasy in his voice, Filai didn't WANT to know. "You'll have to fight tomorrow."

"...oh." And then. "Oh...shiiiittttttt..."

"Woah. She swore out loud. That must mean she's pissed!" Was the elated response as Filai pondered over the shitty nature of life.

A/N: Yeah, too lazy for any comments this time. I thank you all for the reviews! I'm happy! I really am! And...I'm still gonna get shot at this rate. I'll see if I can update sooner this time, so stay tuned!