A/N: So...I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. I'm still writing this story. I know it's been ages since my last update but after the season 4 finale I just lost all motivation. I was so happy that whole episode until the last 5 minutes.

So...Monday's episode. I am actually still pretty upset about it. I honestly did not think that Blair would actually get married to Louis. It wasn't even an option in my mind. She didn't even have to end up running off with Chuck (although that's what I was hoping for); she just couldn't marry Louis. The only thing that made me more mad than Blair actually marrying Louis is that everyone actually checked their phones during the ceremony. I mean, who does that? During a wedding? A royal wedding? In a church? That was just too unrealistic for me. Even if they weren't turned off, most people would've silenced them. There might have been a couple of people that didn't. But half of the guests would not have interrupted a royal wedding to check a text, even if it was from Gossip Girl. Speaking of Gossip Girl...Georgina? I'm not really sure how I feel about this turn of events. I love Georgina but she was gone for a lot of time so I'm assuming that she at least has a helper, if she is even the real Gossip Girl. Chuck and Eleanor stole the show. I loved them together! Blair is still being a complete idiot with her pact. And when did Louis turn that evil? He's been scheming for a while now, but nothing of that magnitude. So I'll definitely be watching Monday to see what happens.

Thank you to all my readers and reviewers. I hope you guys can forgive me for making you wait so long. This chapter is extra long to make up for it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl. If I did, Chuck would've punched Louis in the face by now.

You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between
What I thought and what I said

...
You are the night-time fear
You are the morning when it's clear
When it's over your start

...
You're my head
You're my heart

...
No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
...
You can't choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay

...
No light, no light
No light

No Light, No Light - Florence + the Machine

Blair woke up Monday morning to the sound of her mother's disapproving voice.

"Blair, wake up. It's already 8:00. You don't have time to spend all day in bed. I made an appointment for us at Bergdorf's for 11:00. And the florist is coming over this afternoon to talk about what we want in the way of bouquets and centerpieces."

Blair sat up and looked at her mother in disbelief. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I already have a wedding dress, Mother. You know that."
"Yes, well, I'd like to look at a few more," Eleanor said in a tone that told Blair there was to be no more argument.

"Fine," Blair sighed. "But I have a fitting for my dress tomorrow at 1:00."

"We'll see," Eleanor muttered under her breath. "Now hurry up. We have a busy day ahead of us and you're wasting time." She gave Blair one last disapproving look and strode from the room.

Blair sighed and threw off the covers. She called for Dorota, who hurried in immediately.

"Dorota, my mother is insisting that we go shopping for wedding dresses. I need you to draw me a bath while I pick out something appropriate to wear."

"Yes, Miss Blair," Dorota gave her a sympathetic look and disappeared into the bathroom.

Blair turned to her closet to find something that her mother would approve of. This was a difficult task, but after some searching and more than a few things being thrown away out of frustration and anger, Blair came upon the perfect dress. It was a sunny yellow wrap dress with ¾ length sleeves that covered the fading remains of two bruises on her left arm. The hem fell just above her knees and the neckline was modestly cut. But more than that, the dress was an Eleanor Waldorf original. How could her mother criticize a dress of her own making?

Blair left the dress on her bed and hurried to take her bath before the water got cold. As she relaxed in the warm water, Blair couldn't help but think back to last Monday night when she had gone to see Chuck. Her mother's constant disapproval had been more than she could take that night and she knew Chuck would be the only one who could truly understand. When she didn't find him at the Empire, she had a few drinks at the hotel's bar while she thought about where he could be. When she finally thought of the Palace, she was more than a little tipsy. Blair didn't remember much of their conversation, but she did remember the kiss that she gave him. She knew she shouldn't have kissed him, but she couldn't bring herself to fully regret it. She had planned to just watch Breakfast at Tiffany's, but he understood her so perfectly and his body was so warm against hers and no one had ever looked at her the way he did. When Blair finally came to her senses and pulled away she was more confused than ever. How could one kiss with Chuck feel better and more intimate than the sex she had with Louis? Looking back, Blair knew she probably should have left then, but she never felt safer or more protected than when she was in Chuck's arms, so she allowed herself to fall asleep. When she woke up early the next morning, the alcohol-induced haze had worn off and she could see clearly how wrong it was that she was sleeping in another man's arms. Terrified that Louis would find out, she left a note demanding that Chuck forget all about the previous night.

Blair hadn't heard from Chuck in a week so she figured he was still mad at her. She didn't understand why she still cared about that. She shouldn't.

Blair snapped out of her thoughts when Dorota opened the door and poked her head in.
"Miss Blair? Breakfast is ready."

"Thank you, Dorota. I'll be down in a minute."

As soon as Dorota closed the door, Blair got out of the tub and began to get ready for what was sure to be a long day.

Serena and Nate rode the elevator together in a tense silence. Both were lost in their own thoughts, contemplating what they were about to do and if it was the right thing.

Nate looked over at Serena nervously. "Are you sure we should do this? If Blair finds out she'll be so mad."

Serena sighed. "What else can we do?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should call Chuck."

"No way! I told him we could handle this. And what can he do anyway? He's on the other side of the world."

"Yeah, but you know he would fly home as soon as he knew Blair needed him."

"Look Nate, let's just try this first. Louis is her fiancé. He'll help us." Serena replied confidently as the elevator came to a stop.

Blair sighed in frustration as her mother shot down another centerpiece option that she liked. It had been like that all day, starting with the wedding dresses and then moving onto the flowers. Blair would pick out a few things she liked and her mother would hardly look at them before giving a definitive "no."

It had been the worst with the wedding dresses. They had left Bergdorf's with no dress after almost three hours of searching. Blair had tried on dress after dress only to have her mother find something to criticize in each one. Just when Blair thought she would scream from frustration, her mother remembered that the florist was coming and they left.

And now her mother was doing the exact same thing with the flowers. Blair wanted peonies, but Eleanor wouldn't hear of it. Blair tuned out the voices of her mother and the florist and let her thoughts drift. Her mind wandered to a happier time when she had come home one day, the summer after graduation, and found her room filled with peonies. The sweet smell of the flowers had been overwhelming and had lingered in her room long after the flowers were gone. When she had gone to see Chuck later that night, he had buried his face into her neck and inhaled, causing her to shiver a little in pleasure. He had wrapped her even tighter in his arms and whispered into her ear, "You smell like my favorite flower," before nuzzling his face into her neck again. That had been one of the most romantic things anyone had ever done for her and Blair found herself wishing that Louis would do something spontaneous and romantic like it.

Blair's thoughts were interrupted by her mother's voice. "Blair, pay attention. Don't you think this centerpiece is perfect?"

Blair looked at the flowers that she would never have picked out for herself. Without waiting for a response, Eleanor turned back to the florist. "That's the one," she said.

Blair zoned out again as her mother started talking to the florist about the pricing of the flowers.

Later that night, Blair was getting ready for bed when she heard the elevator ding, signaling someone's arrival. She knew it wouldn't be her mother. Eleanor had gone out to dinner with some old friends and wouldn't be back until much later. Blair was grateful to have the apartment to herself for the night and had sent Dorota home early. Annoyed that someone was interrupting her quiet evening, she made her way to the stairs.

Louis was standing near the bottom of the stairs with an expression on his face that she hadn't seen in a week. He hadn't hit her since the benefit and she was starting to relax in his presence a little. But tonight, the look in his eyes made her want to turn around and lock herself in her room. Ignoring her instinct, Blair walked slowly down the stairs and stopped in front of Louis.

"Where's your mother?" he asked sharply.

A voice in the back of her head told her to lie, but Louis was her fiancé and she loved him so Blair answered truthfully. "She went out to dinner," she said softly.

Almost before she finished speaking, Louis' hand collided with the side of her face with such force that she was knocked off her feet. Her lower back landed hard on the bottom step of the marble staircase and Blair's vision grew blurry as she fought to stay conscious through the pain. When her vision returned to normal, she looked up to see Louis standing over her, his fists clenched at his sides and his face red with anger. She had never seen him look so terrifying.

"You stupid bitch! What have you been telling people?" Louis roared.

Blair didn't know if it was because of the pain, but she was having trouble understanding what Louis was saying. "What are you talking about?" she asked meekly.

"What am I talking about? I'm talking about your stupid little blonde friends coming to me today because they were 'worried about you'," he yelled, distorting the last words. "Serena and Nate."

"Louis, I didn't tell them anything. I didn't ask them to do that. Please believe me," Blair begged.

Louis crouched down so his face was only a few inches from hers. Blair could smell the whiskey on his breath. "Why should I believe you?" he asked. "All you ever do is lie to me."

"No, Louis, I would never lie to you. I love you," Blair cried.

"Shut up!" Louis yelled one more time. He stood up straight and then headed to the elevator. Before she even realized what she was doing, Blair had stood up and run after him.

"Louis, wait," she cried desperately. She grabbed his arm in an attempt to stop him from leaving but he shook her off. When she reached for him a second time he turned around and shoved her away from him. Blair stumbled backwards and fell to the ground. She cried out at the sharp pain in her left wrist when she put out her hand to break her fall. Blair cradled her wrist tenderly in her lap and looked up at Louis. He was glaring down at her in disgust.

"You deserve that," Louis said with disdain. "If I hear that you've been telling anyone else what goes on in our private lives, you'll be sorry."

"Louis, I…" Blair whimpered, tears streaming down her cheeks. Before she could finish her sentence, though, Louis was in the elevator, the doors closing behind him.

Blair sat on the floor for a minute and just cried. The pain in her wrist snapped her out of her melancholy and she realized she would need to get to a hospital. From the way it was hurting, Blair figured her wrist was broken.

Now she had the problem of figuring out who to call. She refused to call Serena or Nate. They had betrayed her and it was all their fault that she was even in this mess. She couldn't call her mother and Dorota deserved to be at home with her family. That left only one person: Dan Humphrey.

When Dan arrived at the Waldorf's apartment, it was nearly 10 p.m. He didn't know why Blair had called him or what was so urgent, but when he stepped off the elevator he was alarmed at what he saw.

Blair was standing before him, cradling her left wrist in her arms. Her face was red and there were tears in her eyes.

"Blair, what's the matter? What happened?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I just fell down the stairs and I think my wrist is broken." Blair's voice was unsteady and she didn't look him in the eye as she talked.

Dan didn't know what was going on but he figured he should take her to a hospital.

"Alright. Come on, let's get you to the hospital."

Blair just nodded and followed him into the elevator.

The next day Blair woke up with a splitting headache and an aching wrist. She sat up carefully, wincing as she recalled the events of last night. It had been the first time she had had to go to the hospital after one of Louis' rages.

Blair didn't really even understand what had brought it about. She had been the perfect girlfriend during the last week and everything between her and Louis had been great. From what he had said last night, Blair gathered that Serena and Nate had gone to see him. Why would they do that? Blair certainly hadn't asked them to or even said anything that might lead them to believe that something was wrong.

Blair continued to seethe about Nate and Serena as she prepared for the day. When she went downstairs for breakfast, she found her mother already seated at the table, which was piled with assorted fruits and breakfast pastries as if ten people were eating instead of two. When Blair sat down across from her, Eleanor glanced at the ugly wrappings on Blair's wrist.

"How's your arm?" she asked brusquely.

"It's fine," Blair answered, moving her arm under the table, out of sight. Her mother had been pretty upset last night when she first saw the splint Blair had to wear. She only calmed down when Blair told her that it was only a minor sprain and would be healed well before the wedding.

"It won't get in the way of your dress fitting today, will it?" Eleanor asked.

"No, mother. My dress is strapless," Blair replied in what she hoped was a soothing tone. Clearly, Eleanor was not completely convinced that Blair's sprained wrist wouldn't somehow ruin the wedding.

"Strapless? Hmm…" Eleanor pursed her lips and looked displeased.

Blair sighed. She was in for another long day of criticism.

When Blair and Eleanor arrived at the Vera Wang flagship store, Blair was shocked to see Serena waiting outside. When she saw Blair, Serena bounced over and gave her a hug. When Blair just stood there stiffly and didn't respond to Serena's embrace, she pulled back.

"Blair, what's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"Serena, what are you doing here?" Blair snapped.

Serena looked confused for a moment. "You invited me to come last week."

"Well, now I'm uninviting you," Blair replied. "You can leave now. I don't want you here."

"Wait. Blair, what's wrong? Why are you mad at me?" Serena asked. Her eyes raked over her friend worriedly and stopped on her arm. "Oh my god! What happened to your arm? Are you okay?"

"Why don't you go ask Louis?" Blair replied meanly. She pushed past Serena and into the store.

Blair joined her mother on one of the white leather couches and waited for her dress to be brought out.

"What did Serena want?" Eleanor asked.

"Nothing," Blair replied stiffly.

"Well, she should be here. She's your maid-of-honor."

"I can manage just fine without her," Blair said, ending the discussion as an attendant walked over to them.

"Miss Waldorf, we have your dress," she said. "If you would like to follow me to the private fitting room we have for you, we can get started."

Blair stood and followed the attendant to a spacious room with a pedestal situated in front of a large three-sided mirror. The attendant helped her into the dress and then Blair stepped up onto the pedestal and gazed at herself in the mirror. The attendant began to fuss around Blair, taking measurements and pulling the dress this way and that. Finally, she stepped away from Blair with a frustrated sigh and a small frown on her face.

"Miss Waldorf, you can stop dieting now. You look beautiful and the dress would fit perfectly if you would stop losing weight. We've had to take it in at every fitting. You only have one more fitting before the wedding. Try not to lose any more weight."

Blair glared at the woman. "I'd like to show my mother now," she said snippily.

When Blair stepped out of the fitting room, the first thing she noticed was her former best friend sitting on the couch in her mother's place. Blair ignored her and stepped up on the pedestal in front of the mirrors. Serena came and stood beside her and made eye contact in the mirror.

"Blair, you look beautiful," Serena praised.

Blair ignored the compliment. "What are you doing back here? I thought I told you to leave. And where is my mother?"

"Your mom is on the phone," Serena answered, gesturing behind her. Blair looked where she was pointing and, sure enough, Eleanor was on her cell phone in the middle of what looked to be a very important conversation. "And I know you told me to leave, but I came back. I'm your maid-of-honor and your best friend. I'm supposed to be with you at things like this."

"You're not my best friend. You're a traitor. Why would you go to Louis instead of talking to me? Do you know how embarrassed I was when Louis mentioned it?"

"Blair, we only went to Louis because we're worried about you."

"I've told you. I'm fine. I don't need-"

"No, Blair, you're not fine. You're acting like you are, but you're not. You're too thin and you look tired all the time. You've been missing classes and you don't go out anymore. What's wrong? Please talk to me," Serena pleaded.

Blair was about to reply when Eleanor walked up to them.

"Serena, darling! How wonderful to see you! You look great!" Eleanor gushed.

"Thanks, Mrs. Waldorf. It's good to see you too. Doesn't Blair look gorgeous?"
Eleanor turned to study Blair and her dress. Blair waited with a small but hopeful smile on her face, which quickly fell away when Eleanor began to speak.

"Blair, honestly, what is wrong with you? The bow is far too big. And black? It's a wedding, not a funeral. There's too much tulle. And I'm not sure this dress is right for your body type. It doesn't seem to fit right."

Before she could go on, the attendant interrupted her. "Well, Mrs. Waldorf, the dress would fit, but your daughter has lost quite a bit of weight since the last fitting. We'll have to take the dress in again."

Blair could feel Serena's eyes burning into the back of her head, but she purposefully ignored it.

"Hmm…well, I think we should keep looking around," Eleanor said firmly. She looked over to Blair. "I have to go back to Paris for awhile. I'll look for more dresses while I'm there." She leaned in and gave Blair an air kiss on each cheek, before hastily exiting the store.

Blair turned to glare at Serena and then turned around and walked stiffly back to the dressing room. Serena waved the attendant off and hurried after Blair herself. When she reached the dressing room, she found Blair struggling to unfasten the long line of buttons at her back. Serena stepped behind her and took over. Blair stiffened but didn't say anything.

"B, I'm worried about you," Serena said softly. "You've lost a lot of weight."

"I'm fine. I just want to look good for the wedding."

"You do look good. And you will look beautiful on your wedding day, no matter what dress you wear or what you weigh. You don't need to starve yourself to-"

Blair cut her off. "Serena! I'm not starving myself. I'm fine. It's just the stress that's getting to me…" she trailed off when Serena gasped loudly behind her.

"Blair, what happened to your back?" she asked in alarm. She stepped back and let go of the dress, letting it pool at Blair's feet.

Blair cursed silently to herself, turning to examine the huge bruise on the small of her back. She had forgotten all about it. Overnight, it had transformed into a hideous patch of dark purple on her otherwise white skin. Serena reached and touched it gently, ignoring the way Blair flinched away.

"I fell down the stairs last night. Honestly, I forgot all about it. It doesn't even hurt," Blair lied.

"I thought you landed on your arm," Serena stated with suspicion. Seeing the confused look on Blair's face she continued. "Dan called me after I left earlier. He's worried about you too. Why didn't you call me last night? You know I would've been there in a heartbeat."

"I know. But I was mad at you. It was all your fault in the first place," Blair blurted out without thinking.

"Wait a minute. How was it my fault that you fell down the stairs?" Serena demanded indignantly.

Blair frantically searched her brain for an excuse. She hadn't meant to say that. "Umm…well…I fell because…I…was trying on your shoes. Yeah…they were too big for me and I tripped."

The story seemed to placate Serena. She let out a laugh. "I'm sorry, B. You know my shoes don't fit you. Why would you try to walk down the stairs in them?"

"I don't know," Blair sighed. "It was stupid."

"Come on," said Serena. "Get dressed. Let's go get coffee."

Chuck stared out of the window of his hotel room in Beijing. He was getting a little worried. He hadn't heard from Serena or Nate in a few days. He was hoping that was a good thing. They would've called him if something bad had happened.

Chuck was still mad at Blair. And confused by her. He had been stupid last week to think that she was picking him over Louis. She had been drunk. He should've known better.

Chuck's thoughts were interrupted by his phone buzzing in his pocket. He hoped it was a message from Serena or Nate. Instead, it was a Gossip Girl blast.

Spotted: Our favorite Queen B entering Vera Wang's flagship store on Madison Avenue, sporting a brand new accessory. What happened, B? Did you trip on your train? Here's hoping it doesn't happen at the wedding. But if it does, I'll be sure to get a picture. That's right, Upper East Siders. I'll be there, along with everybody who's anybody. You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Chuck stared at his phone in dismay. He leaves the country for one week and Blair breaks her arm? He read the blast one more time and then dialed Serena's number.

Serena and Blair were strolling around Central Park, coffees in hand, just talking. They hadn't had the opportunity to just hang out together for so long and it felt nice. Blair was still mad at Serena about telling Louis but she knew Serena was only trying to help. Serena didn't know what Louis had done to her. And Blair wasn't going to tell her.

They had been walking around for about 20 minutes when Serena's cell phone rang, interrupting their conversation about the latest UES gossip. Serena glanced at the caller I.D. and then pressed "ignore" quickly.

"Who was that?" Blair asked.

"Oh…just my mother," Serena answered. "I'm sure it's nothing." Serena had barely finished speaking when the phone rang again. Serena frowned at it.

"It's okay. You can answer. I don't mind. It must be important," Blair said.

Serena sighed and hit "ignore" again.

"No, it's fine. It can wait."

They started walking again and had barely gotten three feet when the phone rang again.

"Serena, just answer it," Blair said in exasperation. When Serena didn't move, Blair snatched the phone out of her hands. Before Serena realized what was happening, Blair had answered.

"Sorry, Lily," she said. "Serena seems to think that I will be greatly offended if she answers the phone in front of me."

"Blair?" asked a deep voice that was definitely did not belong to Lily.

"Chuck? I…I'm sorry. I thought it was Lily calling."

"Yeah, I figured that out all on my own, Waldorf," Chuck said sarcastically.

Serena watched as Blair's cheeks turned bright red. She was gonna be in so much trouble when Blair got off the phone.

"Why are you calling Serena so frantically, Bass?" Blair asked coolly.

"None of your business. I was calling Serena, not you," Chuck answered defensively.

"Fine, but you know I'll find out anyway," Blair said smugly.

"Just let me talk to Serena."

"Fine," Blair huffed. She held the phone out to Serena.

Serena took it and sighed. "What is it, Chuck?"

Blair watched with undisguised interest.

"Yes…I won't…yeah, I'll call you later. Okay. Bye." Serena snapped her phone shut.

"Well, what did he want?" Blair asked immediately.

"Oh, he just wants me to ask Lily to send him some stuff about Bass Industries that he forgot," Serena replied hesitantly.

"Stuff? What kind of stuff?" Blair asked with curiosity. "Wait…what do you mean send?"

Serena looked confused. "Didn't he tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"He's in China…Beijing," she said softly.

"What?" Blair was shocked. When had he left? And why hadn't he told her he was going? And when was he coming back? Before she could voice any of the questions running through her head, Serena spoke.

"He left last Tuesday morning. He's supposed to be there for three weeks for business. I thought he would tell you."

Blair looked away. She knew why he hadn't told her.

"Serena, I just remembered. I've got something to do. I'll see you later." Without waiting for a reply she hurried off, leaving Serena staring after her.

Chuck woke up to a buzzing coming from the sheets next to him. Groaning, he looked at the caller I.D. When he recognized the name, he answered immediately.

"Serena, what took you so long?" he growled.

"Sorry, but it's only been an hour. I do have a life, you know."

"Whatever. Now tell me what happened to Blair. I saw the Gossip Girl post. I know she broke her arm."

"Shouldn't you have been asleep when that post came out? What time is it over there anyway?" Serena asked.

"It's about 5 a.m. And I don't sleep well in foreign countries."

Serena scoffed. "You mean you don't sleep well when you're not in the same bed as Blair."

Chuck didn't bother to deny it. It was true. He hadn't gotten a good night's sleep all week.

"What happened to her? Is she okay?" he asked desperately.

"She's fine. You talked to her an hour ago. She tripped and fell down her stairs and sprained her wrist. She's got a pretty huge bruise on the small of her back too, although I'm not sure how that got there since she landed on her arm."

"Where is she now?" Chuck demanded.

"I don't know. She left rather abruptly when I told her you were in China. Why didn't you tell her, Chuck? I told you she would care."

Chuck didn't say anything so Serena went on. "Chuck, I think you should fight for her. I don't think Louis is right for her. She was the happiest I'd ever seen her when she was with you. And she's different now…and not in a good way. She seems sad. Her wedding dress has a black bow on it. Like she's in mourning or something. It's not at all what she always talked about her wedding dress looking like. And she's not even having peonies in her bouquet. It's just all wrong, Chuck." Serena finished with a big sigh.

"She doesn't want me anymore, Serena," Chuck said bitterly.

"How will you know if you haven't tried?" Serena asked.

"I have tried," Chuck said quietly.

"Try harder," Serena urged. "This is Blair Waldorf we're talking about. You guys are supposed to be inevitable."

Chuck couldn't stand talking about this any longer. It hurt too much. "Serena, I gotta go. Can you handle her for another two weeks? Let me know if you notice anything unusual. And don't let her break any more bones."

"Okay," said Serena reluctantly. "But just think about what I said. Don't give up on her."

"I'll talk to you soon. Bye." Chuck hung up and stared at the phone before pulling the covers up to his chin and trying to get a few more hours of sleep.

A/N: Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. The inspiration behind Blair's yellow dress is the Tibi Belted Wool Wrap Dress. Her wedding dress is from the Vera Wang Fall 2010 Collection. Weirdly enough, it's called "Eleanor". I picked it out long before I knew Vera Wang was gonna design the dress in the show. I did like Blair's dress but I thought her hair was all wrong. It should have been up in a soft romantic updo. Please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter. Hopefully I'll have another chapter out soon. I promise I won't make you wait almost a year again.