A/N: For those who haven't read the rewritten version of chapter 14, then please do so. There're a few references in this chapter to things from the previous chapter that wasn't in the first version, so you might get confused. Though the new version is insanely long, so I don't know how anyone will put up with that.

Chapter 15

Northern Italy

Snow crunched loudly under the heavy soles of Squalo's boots as he trudged through the half dead landscape. Behind him, Bel gleefully left a trail of bright red stains as he dragged along an unidentifiable corpse/makeshift toy that he had picked up a couple towns back.

(After wrapping up the gory conclusions of their seventeenth police chase (which by then had included army tanks and about half the national air force) Squalo had generously offered to buy him a Barbie substitute. But no, said the royally spoiled asshole. It had to be a human body, and it had to have its guts trailing from the stomach and no, stuffed animals with its stuffing protruding from the seams did not fucking count)

"Oi, are we there yet?" Bel drawled complainingly, unwittingly smearing blood on his sparkling tiara as he brushed his dirty hands against it. "We've been walking for two hours. I don't get why we can't just take the car."

"Luss can't drive in this weather." Squalo snapped, gesturing vehemently to the foot deep layer of snow clouding their legs like some sick nauseous gas. "Fuck, nobody can drive half an inch in this shithole without killing off the engine."

"Bet I can, ushishishi." Bel said wickedly, teeth flashing as his lips twisted in a maniacal grin. Thoughts of horrors and destruction filling his mind, no doubt.

Squalo swiped at the impudent fool with his sword. The prince spiraled out of reach. "Voi, don't be stupid. You don't even have a driver's license."

"Not my fault those cardboard people they used on the test were too realistic." Bel protested. "Did you see that one with the old lady and the walker? You can't not run that one over. Besides, at least I didn't blow up the engine four times in a row, like the Boss."

"Seven." Was the tortured answer, Squalo's brow wrinkling in frustration at the mere memory of it. "He already took the exam a few times before you joined." Not to mention the two other attempts that had resulted in near annihilation of Milan.

"Better than Levi, at least. How many times did he take it?"

"Forty three."

Bel whistled. "Forty three?"

"Point seven." Squalo added reluctantly, mentally reaching for the memory bleach.

An edgy silence. Bel might've blinked. "I don't even want to know, do I?"

The Varia second in command was beginning to think that there was actually a reason why Lussuria was the only one in the Varia to have ever successfully obtained his driver's licenses. Maybe he should follow the damn necrophiliac's example and invest in counterfeit after all.

Maneuvering leisurely, Bel, being the practical creature he was, went and stuffed the dead body in a hollow tree. "I'll give it to Luss when we come back." He laughingly surveyed his handiwork. "If I feel like it. Ushishishi."

"Was that thing even a guy?" Squalo furrowed his brows in disgust.

"Can't remember." Bel glanced behind his shoulder. He crinkled his nose in frustration. "Can't tell anymore either. Wanna go check?"

Squalo threw a cactus at the little fucktwit. "Hurry up. You're goddam slow."

3 weeks later

Filai blinked.

Within three minutes of waking up, being the genius sort of mind she was, she had successfully deducted two things. 1) She was in a bed. 2) There was a peacock at her bedside. A giant, glowing peacock. Seriously. It was glowing. She stared at it, and for moments, it stared back. Then, its feathery light dimmed, and then gradually died down. The bird turned heels and trotted busily out of the room.

What was that?

Deciding that she must be high on morphine, Filai readily moved on with life. Turning away from the doorway, she swept a glance through her surroundings. And internally died. IV needles jammed in her arm, medical machines perched ominously next to her bed. Why the hospital again? Why the unnecessary déjà vu? It was too cruel.

At least it wasn't because of a metal pole. Hopefully.

She put a hand to her head. Or, at least, tried to. It took Filai almost seven seconds to realize that her arm was having much difficulty being lifted. She could move it. But the wave of exhaustion that washed over her arm was too unnatural. So I've reached a new level of physical decay? That means theoretically, I've somehow made a historical occurrence? She could imagine the newspaper headlines. GIRL UNABLE TO LIFT WEIGHT OF HER OWN ARM. A STARTLING DISCOVERY!

Pause.

Filai twitched. Like hell I want to be famous for something like that. She mentally kicked a rock. Just what am I thinking? Of course I'm in this state. My arm's broken. Though it didn't hurt, so maybe it healed by now.

Pause.

Wait, her arm's not broken. As in, well, NOT BROKEN HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THIS?

After concluding that her arm was indeed not broken, Filai decided that this was much food for thought. For she was quite sure that her dad would never let her arm to heal. Or put her in a hospital room, for that matter. Much less one with not dead flowers in the flower vase, and not dead fish on the dinner plate next to her.

Hold on, wasn't fishsupposed to be dead on the dinner plate? Filai checked it again. Sure enough, the fish was moving, flopping feebly in a small slop of ketchup and mustard, parsley decorating the sides. She went slightly pale. So now those bastards are going to use feeding torture on me? Well, then again the Varia could do better. Silence. Right, who was she kidding? LIKE HELL THE VARIA WOULD'VE THOUGHT OF SOME CONVOLUTED TORTURE LIKE THIS!

To think, she had bore all those horrible interrogation methods without losing it, only to meet her end through mercury poisoning.

"Ah. She woke up." A very monotone voice. "She took her time, huh?"

Frog.

That was the first thing that rudely intruded Filai's mind when she turned around. It was a giant, pitch black frog. With big froggy eyes, and a froggy grin. And it was eating a person. There was a person clamped his mouth. "So, I'm assuming you're some weird mutant creature that the scientists back in the lab created just for the hell of it, right?"

The frog did not move. The unhappy guy clamped in the frog mouth was, as one would expect, unhappy. "Senpai, I think you're looking at the wrong thing." He drawled unenthusiastically, and Filai glanced a step down. Flatly returning the look was a young male of unidentifiable age, green eyes laced with small black markings on the corners and matching hair sticking out from under the frog mouth.

"I see, so they synchronized your brain with the frog's brain so now the frog can communicate with humans." Filai expounded knowingly, somewhat fascinated by the gruesome notion. "In other words, you're basically playing puppet for a frog, right?" Dear god, the stupidity you must feel. How do you put up with being such a low level existence? Life must be so boring.

He tilted his head at an angle, studying her curiously. "As expected of the stupid long hair senpai's friend." He declared with much finality. "You're weird too."

"Say that again and I'll shove your face in a blender and press dissolve."

"Ah, but that sounds painful." Froggy admitted, head shaking at the prospect. "Besides, the fact that you said something gross like that with such a normal expression means that you're even more of a freak than my master. At least he has a scary serial killer smile when he says it." He pensively considered, before reasoning. "I don't think our blender has a 'dissolve' button."

She was getting a headache. That's not really the point.

Froggy insisted on being helpful. "We have a liquefy button though. Umbrella senpai got the corner of his sleeve caught in the blade, and almost lost a finger." Before Filai could answer, he nudged a cup of coffee into her hand. She blankly stared at it. "Captain senpai told me to give it to you." He said by way of explanation.

Warily blinking at the dark liquid, Filai was surprised to find that the coffee looked and smelled normal, but, "And this isn't poisoned?"

He shook his head stubbornly. "If I poisoned it, then the scary captain will probably chop my head off. Since he likes you a lot, and he's always waving his giant blade around like he's high on drugs. Like this." He made some erratic swishing motion with his left hand, as if wielding a sword. "It goes whish, and then swoosh, and then after that something usually breaks. He broke our scarier boss' wineglass once. The hospital bills were scarier than the captain AND the boss though."

"Ah, I see." Filai was very irate. Just what kind of madhouse is my family? The Viavideche's dangerously approaching Varia's level of insanity. She reluctantly took a sip from her coffee. Strange, it was good. Or, not good, but familiar. She was pretty sure Lussuria was the only one who could pull this flavor off. Uncertainly returning the cup to its saucer, Filai snapped her attention back to—"So what's your name?"

Froggy thought for a moment. "Bel." He said finally.

Filai stared.

"Ah, don't worry." He put a consoling hand on her shoulder. "It's natural to be confused. I just got a really big makeover."

What kind of sick humor is this?

"It's the truth." He insisted defensively. "Lussuria senpai is just creepily good with make-up."

"Like Lussuria can do anything like—" Filai faltered, drifting off when the frog's words registered in the back of her head. Did he just say Lussuria senpai? "You know Lussuria?"

He nodded. "Lussuria's my senpai, after all. You don't remember him?"

"But I thought you're from the Viavideche."

"Please don't talk like a brainless loser, senpai." Froggy muttered under his breath, and pointed at himself. Or namely, at his uniform. "Please pay close attention to the ugly design of my clothing. I think visuals might be easier for you to understand than actual words, since you're an imbecile."

YOU have a FROG eating your brains!

Much offended, froggy put a desolate hand on the frog eating his head. "It's a hat." He said glumly. "Bel senpai wouldn't let me take it off."

"I thought you said you were Bel."

"Oh, well." Froggy blinked, and announced monotonously "Ah, I have blown my cover."

As if I believed you in the first place, you frog fetish— She ignored his unhappy expression, and glanced down at his uniform. She promptly fell out of the bed. As I thought. I'm definitely hallucinating. It's that Mukuro bastard, I just know it! Next time I get my hands on the little shit—

So just what DID happen after Mukuro's insane scheme? Bathroom. She had been in the bathroom from what she could vaguely remember. The files down the drain, and all that. What had been after that? Fainted? Did she faint after that? If that were the case, then she should be with the Viavideche right now. Locked away in the cell with the rats and shackles and lack of coffee, not lying in a hospital with a guy in a modified Varia uniform sitting next to her.

The Varia emblem was sewn on the upper side of the froggy's left sleeve. The front of the uniform was still black, with the sides colored a whitish tan. There was a hood, hems heavily lined with fur, and Filai very much hoped the guy's frog hat wasn't a part of the clothes regimen because Xanxus in a frog hat was just mind raping enough to put Mukuro Rokudo to shame.

"You still don't get it, do you, Senpai?" Froggy said in resignation, shaking his head as Filai somehow managed to drag herself back onto her bed. "This is the Varia headquarters. I'm Fran the magician. See, I can pull stuff out of my hat." He made movement to remove the hat from his head.

As if on trigger, knives came flying. With dull thuds, they landed deep inside the back of the hat. And presumably its owner's head.

"Oi, Fran, didn't I tell you to keep that hat on?"

The voice reached her mind. Filai promptly dropped both saucer and coffee cup. Hot liquid splashed all over her lap, and she effectively ignored it in favor of staring at that familiar presence slinking into the room, pearl white teeth flashing and knives cradled between his fingers as he ominously advanced on his prey.

Now properly identified, Fran shrank back and ducked behind Filai's bed. As if there weren't knives digging cheerily in the back of his head. "Filai senpai, save me from the rabid senpai. He was never loved enough as a child and now has violent megalomaniac issues to compensate for his sad childhood—"

And Bel, the not illusion/delusion/hallucination that was Bel, launched another set of knives. They shot past Filai's face and lodged themselves into the front of Fran's hat, knocking the poor guy over. "Ushishi, I told you not to keep making up that kind of crap about me." He pulled out another knife, but paused as he noticed Filai staring at him. "Oh, you're awake? About time. It's been weeks since we nabbed you back." He said imperiously, plopping down on the end of her bed and sitting on her legs. She winced. "A prince went all the way to North Italy to fetch your sorry ass, so be grateful."

Uh, yeah. Sure. Filai blankly took in Bel's altered appearance. His hair looked like one of Gokudera Hayato's bombs had made its way into it, and he might've grown taller. It was a bit of a drastic change for such a short time. No, just how long had she been asleep? Why are you here?

"What? This is the HQ, isn't it?" The prince remarked snidely, fingers twirling in a rude gesture. "Of course I'm here, ushishishi."

The headquarters. Was he referring to the Varia HQ? "So you rescued me?"

"Yep, that's right."

Filai was doubtful. "But the Viavideche's main base isn't in Northern Italy."

He shrugged offhandedly, tiara sparkling in his hair as he gleefully began tormenting Fran into the pits of lunacy. "Who ever said anything about those freaks?"

I think I lost track of the conversation. Filai tried to push herself up, only to decide that the energy draining that came along wasn't quite worth it. Something feels wrong. "My body feels like all the muscles wasted away."

"Well, that's to be expected." Fran offered with some difficulty as he struggled against Bel's death grip around his neck. "Since you've been dead for the past te—"

"Oi, you're blabbering, you stupid brat." Bel tightened his hold, and Fran was much displeased. "If she starts hyperventilating because of your commoner foolishness, then we'll never hear the end of it from Squalo. Next time think with your frog head before you start talking."

The frog hat slid lopsidedly over Fran's eyes. "Senpai, please let me go. I can't breathe."

"Ushishishi, that's the point."

"Please stop talking, Bel senpai. Your idiocy is damaging the IQ of the entire mansion."

Leaving the pair to their own insidious activities, Filai lowered her head to once again contemplate her situation. The Varia couldn't have broken into the Viavideche base by themselves. That would've been virtual suicide. And in the first place why would they even bother trying to pull off such an insane scheme just for her? Unless maybe Lussuria lost his cooking ability somehow and they all got tired of takeout food? That might be it.

"And why would we risk our lives because of takeout food?" Fran droned perplexedly, as if the Varia hadn't almost singlehandedly annihilated South Italy's liquor industry on orders of Xanxus just because his tequila orders were mixed up with apple juice. It was good apple juice too.

"Well, it is takeout food." Bel mumbled under his breath, sweat sliding. "The calories."

And Fran dutifully proclaimed "And that's why good kids should never eat out too much unless they want to die a gruesome and uncool death of diabetes and cancer." He turned to the screen. "So please limit your dietary to home cooked meals. It'll save your wallet too. Wallets are cuter when they're fat, after all. Just like Bel senpai."

Bel knocked over Fran's legs.

Leaving them was a good idea, Filai decided as she pulled herself through the outside corridor at snail's pace, leaning heavily against the wall for support.

She wasn't sure how long she had been out and away. A couple months, maybe? Filai would say around five to eight months, judging by her hair. It had grown at least eight or nine inches, and wasn't quite straight, in a strange, neglected, been-submerged-in-water-for-decade manner. Bangs were too long now too. She should get a haircut as soon as possible, this time not by Squalo.

So, eight month coma. Fun. Filai sighed, tugging irately on some of her hair. She should've expected something like that, but as mortifying as the idea of losing almost a year of her life was, it could have been worse. Her kind and generous father would have had little trouble putting her to sleep for decades, or maybe forever. The asshole.

Then that Fran, if he called Bel 'senpai', then he must be the Cloud replacement. Even though he didn't seem particularly strong. But then again, neither had Hibari Kyouya, and look what happened there. Gola Mosca. Killer robot. One hit, one second K.O. As cute as he was, that guy Filai never wanted to meet in a dark alley. A sushi shop, maybe. But not an alley.

The manor hallway hadn't been altered all that much (though she didn't recall that ten foot diameter crater in the floor being there). Then again, nobody was ever remotely interested in interior design anyway, so she supposed the place would look the same even if she had been gone for one or ten years.

Barely managing to pull herself to the second floor, Filai found that her room was still, well, her room. Well, the door was still her door, at least.

And when I open it, I'm going to find it's converted into an indoor theater or something. She put a hand on the knob. Xanxus always wanted one. Booking the entire movie theater every time he went was getting too expensive, I guess.

The moment the door entered, a massive cloud of dust filled the air. Filai stepped back. She covered her mouth with her arm as the gray particles permeated the air around her. She coughed. Is this seriously just eight months of dust accumulation? Even five years wouldn't get this kind of build up.

The entire room was dark, the curtains drawn in front of the windows and, it seemed, nearly glued together with layers of grime. The light that spilled in from the hallway was barely enough for Filai to feel out the light switch.

Click.

Pause.

Click. Click.

Pause. The lights didn't work. Alright, so she hated the world. What else was new?

"Somehow, I'm beginning to wonder if I've been really gone for only so many months." Filai mumbled as she walked back out of her decrepit room, shutting the door behind her in a flurry of dust and flying filth. Ah, this is bad. I'm getting tired. I'm going to fall asleep in the middle of the hallway at this rate.

Nevertheless, she walked on. Or, more accurately, half walked half dragged herself on. Her conscious durability could hold on a bit longer. Well, not like she was giving it a choice. No way in hell she was going to sleep in that germ infested area that was the former glory of her bedroom.

Five minutes and twenty feet later, Filai knocked contently.

A moment's pause. The knob turned, and the door was forcibly wrenched open. Right on time.

Pause. "Hi." Pause. "Good night." Filai said faintly, at approximately ten in the morning, before crumpling soundlessly into a startled Superbia Squalo's arms.

Infirmary

"So that was Filai senpai."

"What, you don't seem surprised." Bel commented as he happily dumped the remains of Filai's abandoned coffee over Fran's head.

Fran shrugged dully as the brown liquid dribbled sluggishly from his hat and hair. He scrunched his brow into an unsettled thinking position. "She's just like how my master described her." He admitted resignedly. "Sort of stupid, but at the same time not."

Bel rammed a fist against his head. "As if that makes any sense!"

"It can't be helped." Fran winced, miserably rubbing his head. "It's not my fault that your mind is too small to comprehend anything with depth, Bel senpai. Please don't blame other people for your own pathetic faults. It's very off putting."

"You bastard, do you want to die that much?"

It was dark. Nighttime, she guessed.

Filai gingerly pushed herself up into a clumsy sitting position, thick plush covers sliding off her in droves. Rubbing her eyes sleepily, she cast a disoriented glance at the surroundings. Large, with little furniture or decorations. Half barren and remotely impersonal, except for the occasional sword accessory scattered carelessly on the floor.

As usual, he doesn't have any tact when it comes to aesthetic matters. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, Filai looked at the glowing red numbers of the digital alarm clock perched on the bedside table. 3:57 AM. Squalo's not here. Did he have something to do?

Standing up, Filai started walking towards the door. There wasn't any light peering from the cracks of the entrance; so everyone else was asleep too.

Can't see too well. Shit. What if I step on one of his swords? Won't I lose my toes? Actually, that'd be kind of interesting. But I don't want to go through something that miserable just because it's interesting! Besides, it's so dark that I probably can't see it fully—

Her foot hit something on the ground. Oh shi—She promptly tripped, and fell onto something—

"Ow, FUCK. What the hell?"

Or someone.

Filai might've died on the inside. That voice. It couldn't be. "Squalo?"

Groaning groggily under his breath, the swordsman reached a hand up to push strands of his hair out of his face, loose threads of white sliding from his eyes as he shot her a half hearted glare. Not that she could see that clearly, but there were killer vibes to go on with. "You think?"

So it was him.

"'s the time?" He groped blindly to his right, remembered a tad too late that he wasn't in his bed, and his clock was in fact nowhere near arm's reach.

"Almost four."

"In the morning?"

It's pitch dark. Use your head.

Squalo's arm flopped back down with a faint thud. Some resigned defeat. Well, sort of. "I hate you."

It's been months since she last saw Squalo, and well, maybe it didn't seem like it for her but Filai felt some need to do some catching up; jibs, insults to exchange like mini presents with ticking time bombs sealed under the wrappings. Except now he was tired, half asleep, not in the best condition for any intelligent conversation (as if he ever was).

So instead, "Why're you sleeping on the ground?" Filai asked, staring at the wrinkled uniform coat that he had been using as a makeshift blanket. It was sporting the same erratic design as Bel's and Fran's.

"Couch's taken." Was the barely intelligible reply. He yawned, gesturing sloppily. "Papers'n shit. Fucking Boss shoved all the work on me."

Xanxus, compassionate to the core (to himself) as always. But that's not my point. "What I meant was why don't you sleep on the bed?"

He flinched visibly. "You shitting me? How the fuck am I supposed to share the damn bed with you?"

"You never had a problem with it before."

Squalo tiredly propped himself up on his elbows, shooting her a half asleep glare. "It's not like you're still seventeen, you know."

Filai blinked, and shrugged. Right, right. I guess I should've turned eighteen by now. But still, "Seventeen, eighteen. Is there that big of a difference?"

Squalo didn't answer. He laid back down, irately turning his back to her. "Go back to sleep." He muttered, sounding infinitely more exhausted than what was acceptable of social norms applied to ruthless assassins with feminine hygiene. "I'll tell you what's going on in the morning."

"Why not now?"

"Because I don't WANT to."

"That's narcissist reasoning, you know."

"Shut up." He groaned miserably. "Just go to sleep already. I don't want to talk."

Filai frowned, reluctantly giving in. She surreptitiously scooted over, curling on the carpet next to him and closing her eyes. It wasn't that she wasn't happy. That she was back with the Varia, she was, really really really happy, for the lack of a better term. But there was something different. Something felt off. She had a bad feeling.

A/N: I don't know why, but Fran has become my favorite character to write. Which is sort of sad because it's fully possible I messed up on him horribly, but it's amusing imagining Fran's monotone voice being the pinnacle of all that is evil and insulting and then getting pawned by Bel for it.

And this chapter was also slightly rushed (which is sadder given MY ONE MONTH DELAY HOLY CRAP I FEEL MISERABLE! SORRY ALL!) and I wanted to put in the explanations in this chapter, but, well, stuff. School has started for me now, so updates might become more erratic.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I hope you'll enjoy future chapters.