Happy New Year!

Well, I managed to keep my promise and update by the New Year! I'm warning you now, though, this is a very dark chapter. I'm not about to boost up the rating of the whole story 'cause of this one chapter, but this particular bit is more than a little dark.

All the same, I hope you enjoy.

….

To be perfectly honest, Lloyd didn't remember Magnius' first death particularly well. He had, in a way, blocked it from his mind. He couldn't remember his own thoughts, just blood and shouting. But somehow he knew that this time…this time his death was all wrong. The world seemed to ripple as Magnius fell, there was no sound, the wind stopped blowing, the smoke stopped smelling; reality ceased for a moment in shock.

Magnius feel face-first against the grass and dirt, his wild red hair comically bouncing—as if it wanted to defy his death—and his purple vest slowly being stained red with his blood. Or maybe it was quickly, the world was flying by Lloyd, yet he caught all of it. The only thing that remained normal was Rodyle's hysterical laughter.

He was…amused? Even Lloyd, who despised Magnius could have began to cry.

Why…?

He had asked it aloud. His eyes met Rodyle's murderous green ones—how was it that he had never realized the Desian Grand Cardinal had green eyes?—and honestly waited for an answer. He hadn't even known that Magnius and Rodyle had known each other…though they must have. What if they had been friends? What if…? What if…?

Lloyd's thoughts were a mess of confusion and pain. Raine raced by him, her orange coat a blur, Colette was behind her. Why were they racing toward Magnius? Kratos hissed something…maybe? And suddenly, Rodyle was right in front of him.

"There is no why little Lloyd. There is only why not? Kvar knows what he is doing… and you do too, don't you? You and he are the same." With those words, Rodyle was gone. He must have warped away as a moment later Kratos' sword sliced through the air Rodyle had occupied. The world came back to life in an explosion of sound that Lloyd honestly thought should have blown his senses.

"Oh Martel…" whispered Colette, "all those people…"

Raine was bent over Magnius, was she trying to heal him? Lloyd almost wanted to. Almost. Genis was with Colette again, his friends were hugging each other tightly and Lloyd even saw a few tears shed for the fallen Cardinal. Or perhaps it was shock. The rest of the group…they hadn't met Magnius, Lloyd realized. So Genis' tears were probably for the dead of Palmacosta. His eyes searched for his father and to his shock, he found the man standing next to him. When had he gotten there?

"…we must go down into the city," Kratos murmured. "If there are any survivors, we must help them."

"…there won't be. Magnius is a monster, and Rodyle wouldn't leave anyone alive. Not unless it benefited him." Then Lloyd's eyes traveled to Genis and Colette. They wouldn't be able to handle it, Lloyd realized. "…and Genis and Colette…"

"They will see it soon enough, what is the point of delaying the inevitable? We cannot leave them alone, not with Desians so close, and Ms. Sage is the healer, if there are survivors, it will only be with her help."

Kratos was simply assuming that Lloyd would come, much to Lloyd's own shock. For the first time he turned and met his father's eyes, and didn't like what he saw. Kratos' eyes were empty and cold, their merciless depths took everything in a distant, clinical disgust. "Everyone will go down."

…

Palmacosta was decimated. The city was devoid of life, Desian or otherwise, yet the streets were littered with the dead. The Chosen's group walked, Kratos and Lloyd in front, Raine behind, her arms around Colette and Genis. Moving them along, pushing them through it. She had fought; she had insisted that this was foolish. That this would hurt them. Kratos had known better; they would see worse. Raine had agreed, after much pushing.

What Kratos and Lloyd knew that the rest of the group did not yet know was that there was still a Desian Ranch standing several miles north. And it was their job to go after it. Lloyd tried to rationalize it as he knelt by the charred remains of some unknown skeleton; he wanted to believe that the reason he wanted to go after the Desians was because he wanted to protect the people on the rest of the continent. He was lying to himself—the only reason he was going after the Palmacosta Ranch was for revenge.

Lloyd reached out one red-gloved hand and brushed the ash from the eye socket of the skeleton. The ash was everywhere, polluting the air and filling the gathering pools of leaking water with disgusting mud. Lloyd could practically smell the toxins in the air from the fires…and the lingering smell of burning flesh.

Why was the sun so bright? Why was the sky so blue? The world had ended, the sun shouldn't still sit in the sky.

"…this is horrible…" whispered Colette. "…how could they do this…?"

"…I believe the better question is why." Raine's voice was soft but it carried through the day. "Palmacosta is the largest city in the world and the only one on this continent. Hakonesia is too small and the only passage to the Asgard continent and other than that there is only the House of Salvation and Thoda, both of which can hold a combined total of about one hundred people. I doubt one hundred people can keep a Ranch the size of the Palmacosta Ranch running.

"…they had a militia, and a school. This was about crushing hope, not any other logic." Genis was sad, but thinking.

"It was about revenge." Kratos was dangerously matter-of-fact. "The question is, on whom. Breaking spirits generally implies that there is someone left with a spirit to be broken. They left no one. Asgard is only bold because they are miles from the nearest Ranch, a mutilated Palmacosta doesn't change a location problem."

"…what are you saying?" Raine rose an eyebrow.

"I am saying that this was a message for us."

Lloyd's heart thumped in his ears, his breathing stopped and his mouth dried. "W-what are you saying...?" he choked.

"This was a message for the Chosen, a message to give up on this Journey or only more death and destruction will follow."

Lloyd could breathe again, which was a strange feeling as he realized that his eyes had not left the skull of the victim before him. Kratos didn't suspect that this was his fault, or if he did…he had written it off as ridiculous. After all, why would an organization as huge as the Desians be bent on breaking the mind of a boy raised by a dwarf miles from anywhere?

"We need to move. We spread Colette's name around too far on this continent." Kratos was staring at the sky as he said this.

"What about Thoda and the Book?" Colette asked, tears streaming down her face. "W-we still have to do so much…" Somewhere in the back of Lloyd's disturbed and horrified mind, he realized that Colette could still cry.

"Not with the Desians searching. And by this time every Desian will know your face. We must move. We can come back after the chaos has died down." Kratos was adamant.

"…i-if we can get rid of the Ranch," Lloyd muttered, "then it wouldn't matter…"

"Lloyd, both Iselia and Palmacosta were destroyed because they had that attitude! We cannot risk this Journey—Colette's life—on something as dangerous and pointless as a suicidal revenge mission!" Raine glared first at Lloyd, then fixed her fury on Kratos as the man actually began to nod. "You can't be serious!"

"…if they are not stopped, the will destroy the rest of the innocents on the continent. Whatever their motives are, they are obviously no longer concerned with simply torturing the prisoners. They want something more."

"And you think destroying to Ranch is our best option?"

As Kratos and Raine's argument gained volume, it lost Lloyd's comprehension. Their voices were simply there to block reality as comprehension dawned on Lloyd. Kvar. All along, Lloyd had worried that perhaps it was Mithos giving the orders, that there was a power running around that he didn't know about—and not knowing what he was up against was much more terrifying than anything Kvar could throw at him. Or a scarier thought, that Kvar was manipulating Mithos. If that was the case, there would be greater threats and more to work through. It would also mean that Yuan and Kratos could be in danger…or potentially working for Kvar.

But Mithos wouldn't have allowed Rodyle to kill Magnius. And Rodyle had talked about Kvar. Kvar was giving orders, probably tempting Rodyle and Magnius with offers of power. Rodyle had access to the mana cannon, if they could destroy the Tower, they could uproot Mithos and Cruxis long enough to pull off whatever it was that Kvar was planning.

Because Lloyd honestly had no idea what the red-eyed half-elf was planning.

"…Lloyd?"

Lloyd turned his head and found himself nose-to-nose with Colette. Her blue eyes were wide and scared and red from crying. "Yeah, Colette?" Lloyd tried to keep the anger and concern out of his voice, tried to wipe the worry from his face.

"What do you think? Do you really think we should attack the Ranch?" Colette wasn't fidgeting, like any normal person would have done; many long hours of sitting silent and unmoving in Church had sapped her of those normal actions. Not even her voice truly portrayed her emotions; one just had to know Colette to be able to tell her thoughts. Lloyd, who had known her for the majority of his life, could tell by the way she held herself, the way her head hung and her eyes darted, how afraid she was.

"…honestly, yes. If we don't get rid of them, no one will. Palmacosta was the biggest city in the world. They were the only ones with any chance of fighting them. Iselia was too small, too worried about you. And Luin doesn't have the resources, they're out in the middle of nowhere, the closest city is Hima and it's too small to help any. The people will be angry, yeah, but too afraid to make any moves on the Ranch. If we don't do it, no one will." As Lloyd ended his speech, he realized that his friends had fallen silent. Raine and Kratos were both watching him with badly concealed curiosity and Genis was nodding through his tears.

"…so that's really how you feel then Lloyd?" Raine asked, her voice taking on just a tinge of ice. She could see that the rest of the group was swaying toward Kratos' argument. "Despite everything you—"

"You heard what I said. My bit is done, my opinion's out there. Now it's up to you. I'm gonna go for a walk." Lloyd walked jerkily from the room, his heart pounding. He was used to being put on the spot, yes, but not quite like that. And Raine was going to be so angry. But he also knew that it was the only way. She would come around to it. She had to…

Lloyd's feet carried him through the carnage. He almost wanted to find the Item Shop Marble, but wasn't sure he could bring himself to looking into the open, staring eyes of Chocolat and Cocoa. He turned and picked his way across a bridge and out onto the main plaza. The school had been burned to the ground. The ashes were still thick in the air and small fires still flickered in the rubble. The Church stood untouched, but the steps were covered with the slaughtered. Blood coated the steps and as Lloyd moved up the steps he entered to find a truly grotesque sight.

A service had been in session during the attack, and the humans in the church were still in their seats, heads lolling and blood dripping from wounds. Those who had risen to escape had been put back in their place. A service of the dead. The priest had been killed against the altar; his head resting on the altar, his body resting across the foot of the table. He had been beheaded.

Lloyd stood and stared for full minutes, then turned and fled, his feet moving at a full-fledged sprint out into the square. He couldn't breathe again, the poison of fire and death catching in his throat. He tripped on a loose stone and fell to his knees. His hands caught his fall, but his head still hung, he felt as if the breath had been knocked from his lungs and he heaved, the breakfast he'd had hours ago splitting his lips a second time.

He groaned softly and coughed, the acid from his stomach burning his throat. He felt numb, yet everything was so sharp it hurt. For the first time, he understood how Kratos could have been willing to give up his soul after the Kharlan War. If this had been the norm…

Lloyd forced himself to his feet, staggering slightly, and walked almost blindly toward the government building. Unlike either the school that was demolished, or the church, still standing, the government building was collapsing in places, but the structure still held.

The door was hanging ajar and Lloyd needed only to shove it aside and step inside. There were only two bodies inside; the emerald haired Neil and blond Dorr both lay spread-eagle on the floor. Lloyd held his breath for a moment, and in that second he heard shallow breathing. He jerked his head toward the bloody figure of Dorr, and realized with a jolt that the man was still alive. Without thought, he was at Dorr's side, turning the man over onto his back.

"Dorr? Dorr!" Lloyd pried one of his eyes open and the pupil dilated, in the half-light. He was alive.

At first there was no response, then the man coughed and blood bubbled past his lips. "…y-you…?"

"Lloyd." Lloyd didn't understand why he felt the need to remind the man of his name, but he did all the same. "I travel with the Chosen."

"…of…course…" Dorr's blue eyes swiveled back into his head and for a terrifying moment he feared he'd lost the Governor-General, but a moment later he gasped out another breath. "…Lloyd…Palmacosta…my…fault…"

"…I know. You don't have to say it…" Dorr didn't question his knowledge, and Lloyd honestly wondered if he'd heard him.

"My—my…wife…Clara…"

"I…I don't know where she is…"

"…downstairs…take me." Lloyd hated Dorr, but he also couldn't refuse the dying man his request. He hoisted Dorr into his arms, wrapping one of the man's arms around his shoulders and using his own arms to hold the Governor-General around the waist.

Their movements were slow and shaky, and more than once Dorr cried out in pain as the enormous slice in his stomach was stretched to its limit. Lloyd almost asked if Dorr wanted him to stop, but when he glanced at the old man he found dark determination defining his features. Dorr would make it to his wife if it was the last thing he ever did. Which it would be; the wound was hours old, Raine wouldn't be able to heal him. Not now.

Lloyd forced the door open and the pair stumbled down the stairs and into the dark, dank basement of the building. The Desians had always known where Clara was being held, and had spared no life. Clara, too, was dead, but in her death she had converted back to her human form. Her blond hair was long and matted with her own blood and her green eyes were wide and staring, but she was human. Dorr let out a pained cry more tormented than any he had made during their decent and pushed himself away from Lloyd to collapse by his wife.

Tears leaked from the man's eyes and he reached one filthy, shaking hand to run his fingers through his beloved wife's hair. "Clara…oh my Clara…" His words were strong but soft. He wouldn't last much longer, Lloyd realized. He wanted to die here, with his arms around his wife. Lloyd felt as if he was intruding upon a very private moment, yet his feet were rooted to the spot and his eyes locked on the couple. "…I am…so…so sorry…" Wet tears made streaks across the man's soiled face. "…my…love… My…Clara…"

He slumped, gasping for a moment, then the shallow breathing stopped. Dorr's already glazed eyes stared blankly into nothingness, but his lips were upturned in what could almost have been gladness. His heartbeat stopped. Dorr was dead.

Lloyd could only stare for a long time. He wanted to leave, wanted to get away from this horrible bloodbath and forget everything he had seen, but he was rooted to the spot.

It was a better death than his last… Lloyd thought bitterly. Better than being struck down feeling all that hate. This way, at least, he died knowing he was going somewhere better. He died knowing he was going to be with Clara…

"He shouldn't have died at all!" Only after the worlds had left his lips did Lloyd realize that he'd said that aloud. "Clara should have lived like last time! Neil should have lived! Chocolat and Cocoa should have lived! Everyone should have lived…like they had last time! It's not fair! It's not fair to any of these people, they shouldn't have had to die! And it's all my fault!" He was shouting, but there was no one to hear his anger. His anger gathered mana, and behind him one of the stone steps shattered blasting rock across the room. "Dammit!"

Turning, Lloyd stormed up the stairs, but as fast as the anger had come, it left him again, feeling empty and more alone than ever he reemerged into the fading sunlight. Like a bad joke, the sky was lit with red and pink as the sun slipped into the ocean. The majority of the fires had gone out and the wind had blown away much of the scent and smoke. For the first time, Lloyd looked out to sea, and realized why no one had survived. Those who hadn't been killed by blade or fire had jumped into the ocean and met the monsters. Half-eaten corpses floated face-down in the salty water. Lloyd couldn't tell if the water was stained red from the sun or the blood. He honestly didn't want to know.

….

And on that note, Happy New Year!

R&R

~Yoshi