Thanks for all the reviews guys! I really appreciate the feedback!
I'm trying really hard to update ASAP. I'm sad because I finally caught up with all the Psych episodes, and have to wait like everyone else XD
Still, at least this allows me to put in more characters from the show, as I now have a few things I'll be placing in the mix.
Disclaimer: I don't own Psych or anything associated with the show. If I did then I'd totally bring Lulu back as a regular. She was such a sweetie!
Hope you enjoy!
Lassiter could tell you that there were very few times when he didn't wake up on time. The detective was so used to waking up three hours before he went to work that he never bothered with an alarm. So when he woke up that morning and realized he had half an hour to be at his desk on time, it literally counted for half of his problems when he opened his eyes.
The other half was waking up with Spencer attached to his torso like white on rice.
The detective had woken up lying on his back, Shawn taking it upon himself to rest his head on the detective's chest while draping a hand around his waist, and a leg around his hip. To make matters worse, Spencer HAD to be sleeping in the bed with him the day he woke up with a bit of morning wood, the detective realizing this when he shifted and felt his "Problem" press into Shawn's thigh.
So, we're half naked in my bed with Spencer glued to me like a parasite, I'm going to be late for work, AND I have a stiffie… Not the morning I wanted but I'm a cop, nay, I am the head detective of the police department. I can work through this…
Lassiter attempted to pry Spencer's hand off his waist, only to have the psychic let out a small, whiny noise as he hugged the detective closer. Lassiter sighed in frustration, how did O'Hara put up with this man in bed? His clinginess is frustrating. Yes, he's warm… and soft… But still frustrating. Lassiter thought as he finally decided to roll off the bed, his body hitting the floor with a thump.
Shawn mumbled something and poked his head out, looking down at Lassiter with a sleepy smile, "Morning Lassie. How'd you sleep?"
Lassiter got up and faced away from the psychic, "Adequately. Now if you don't mind me I have to get ready for work." The detective said before walking briskly to the bathroom, slamming the door.
Shawn stretched out on the bed and stared at the ceiling in a half asleep stupor, before looking at the time. Lassie's shift starts in 10 minutes… Hmm… Shawn thought about it a bit before getting out of bed, picking up the phone with a smile on his face.
Lassiter on the other hand, was currently taking an ice cold shower, which helped his predicament greatly. It's a reflex, a natural reflex that occurs with healthy men. It has nothing to do with Spencer sleeping in my bed. Lassiter thought to himself with a nod. Once he was sure that his morning reflex was gone, he warmed up the water,washing up in record time before getting out of the shower and grabbing his bathrobe. After cleaning his teeth and washing his face, Lassiter walked back out to his bedroom.
Lassiter froze when he noticed that Shawn was no longer lying on his bed. It was then a smell hit his nostrils, Coconut and… Pineapple? Lassiter thought before realizing that the faint smell of his oven was also hitting his nose, "Oh hell…" Lassiter said as he bolted out the door toward his kitchen.
"Spencer what are you do-"Lassiter stopped, and stared at the scene in front of him with mild curiosity.
Shawn was in his kitchen, whisking something in a pan on the stove and staring at something cooking in the oven. The psychic turned to Lassiter and smiled, "Lassie-Face! Good to see you up and running!" Shawn said as he lifted the pan off the heat and placed it off to the side, grabbing two plates and setting them on his counter, "Just in time, I'm pretty sure these bad-boys are just about done!" Shawn said as he put on an oven-mitt, opening the oven and pulling out four pans, which had big-fat fluffy pancakes on them.
Lassiter stared at the pans, watching him flop two pancakes on each plate. "You made pancakes… in the oven?" Lassiter said as he stared at them with slight suspicion.
"Yup!" Shawn said as he grabbed the plates and set them on the table, "You had just enough ingredients for me to make pineapple pancakes, with my pineapple coconut syrup." Shawn said as he stretched, before heading back to the kitchen.
Lassiter sat down and stared at the pancakes in front of him, poking one of the fluffy cakes with his finger. Within the thick cake, he could feel pineapple rings, which were completely hidden in the fat fluffy bread. "Uhh… Never had pineapple in a pancake before…" the detective said quietly, not sure how he felt about Spencer being in his kitchen and cooking for him.
Shawn waltzed back in the room with a measuring cup filled with a strange-syrupy substance, pouring it on the detective's pancakes before setting a knife and fork on the table, "Yeah. Most people aren't so sure about putting pineapple in a pancake, but trust me, these are awesome." Shawn said as walked to his seat and drowned his pancakes in the rest of the syrup, before eating them.
Lassiter stared at the pancakes for a bit before pursing his lips, laughing nervously, "Believe me Spencer, the gesture is… not unpleasant, but I have to finish getting ready and head to work. I don't have time to sit here and eat." Lassiter said as he moved to get up.
Shawn waved his fork, "No worries. I saw you were gonna be late, so I went ahead and phoned the Chief. I told her that you had to drive me around to run some errands because my bike's still at the station. She said that you've put more than enough hours in, so you can take as long as you need."
Lassiter looked around for an excuse, "But… I don't like coconut." Lassiter lied.
"Yes you do, don't insult my gift Lassie!"
"I'm being honest! I really don't!"
"No you're not being honest, because I know for a fact you love Almond Joy's"
"You don't know that."
"Oh but I do. The spirit world is screaming in my ears saying, 'Lassie loves coconut!'"
"I seriously doubt that."
Shawn sighed, "Just take a bite. If you don't like them then you can leave them there, and I'll eat them."
Lassiter stared back down at the pancakes, the steam still rising from the fluffy breakfast. "…fine." Lassiter caved before taking his fork and stabbing it into the pancake, cutting a piece and popping it in his mouth.
. . . .
"Lassie, you okay buddy?"
Lassiter stared down at the pancakes as he slowly chewed the piece in his mouth. "These pancakes are… Alright." The detective said quietly.
Shawn nodded and finished his breakfast before taking his plate and putting it in the sink, "Glad you didn't hate them. You mind if I take a shower? I think I'm long due for one…" Shawn said, realizing he hadn't had anything but a scrub down for four days.
Lassiter nodded, taking another bite from his pancakes, "Just… don't poke around my things."
Shawn saluted "Yes-sir, see you in about twenty minutes!" the psychic said before turning and walking toward the bedroom.
When Lassiter heard the door click closed, he leaned forward and let his eyes roll back blissfully. My god these pancakes are divine. Lassiter thought as he eagerly took another bite, reveling in the taste. When he finished his pancakes he leaned back contently, a smile on the detective's face. It's been a while since I've actually had breakfast at home… I think the last time I got breakfast made for me was when Victoria was around…
At that thought, Alarm bells started going off in his head, as he realized that he was comparing the annoying psychic with his ex-wife back when they were happily married.
"Oh god I need help…" Lassiter said as he grabbed his phone off the counter. Lassiter never asked for advice, but he only knew one person he'd be willing to confide in with something like this. Dialing the number, the detective walked to his living room and sat on his couch, pursing his lips and praying that his confidant would pick up.
In a little flat out in New-York, a cell-phone was ringing on a dresser next to a bed, a large lump nestled under its covers. The lump shifted around and groaned a bit, before a hand extended out and grabbed the phone, dragging it under the heavy blankets. "…What the hell?" a slightly muffled voice said. A person shifted under the covers before sitting up in bed. It was a woman, her long curly-brown hair a tousled mess and her bright, blue eyes staring down at the name on the caller ID.
The young woman quickly answered the phone, rubbing her eyes, "Mmh, Carlton…? You never call, what's up?" She asked cutely as a yawn escaped from her mouth.
Lassiter smiled, "Lauren! So glad I caught you. I just wanted to see how my baby sister was doing." Lassiter said with a nervous laugh, tugging at the front of his bathrobe.
Lauren raised a brow, before stretching and getting out of bed, the woman clad in nothing but a muscle-shirt and undies, "Well I'm doing alright. I'm taking a bit of vacation time after my latest film. It's a documentation project I had been working on for the last four months." She said as she waltzed to a small loveseat placed in the corner of the room, splaying herself out on it and combing her fingers through her long, beautiful brown hair.
Lassiter scratched the back of his head, "That-That's great! Glad to hear you're doing well…" Lassiter said as he tried to think of something to say.
Lauren blew a curl out of her face, before hugging one of the couch pillows to her chest, "You didn't just call to check up on me, did you big brother?"
Lassiter scoffed uncouthly, "What? Pshh, of course I did. You know I love my little Lulu…"
Lauren smiled at the familiar nickname, "As much as I'd like to believe that, I know you want me for something else. Spill it Carlton, you know you can tell me." She said as she rolled onto her back, kicking her feet in the air jovially.
Lassiter rubbed his temple and let out a long exhale, "Okay, you got me… I need advice about a person I might be developing… Impulses for." Lassiter admitted.
Lauren sat up in shock, "Impulses? Like sexual impulses?" She asked as she curled up with her pillow. "Last I checked, you were the kind of guy who only felt comfortable being intimate with people you liked."
Lassiter looked up, "Well, I can't like this person. It's physically impossible for me to like this person." Lassiter quipped.
Lauren smiled, "Oh? And what about this person makes it physically impossible hmm?" The female asked as she curled up with her pillow, leaning into it like she was going to hear a juicy story.
Lassiter looked to the door, checking to make sure Spencer wasn't there before sighing, "Well… for one this person's married… Well, they're separated, but still married." Lassiter said adamantly
"You were separated from Victoria when you started dating your partner… Lucinda right? So that's not it. Try me again bro."
"Well… this person's not the type of person I'd normally go for."
Lauren sighed, "Marlowe was a deviant and you still went and married her… before she said she made a mistake and annulled the marriage before hopping on the next flight to Peru." She said before lying back on the couch, "It's starting to sound more like you don't want to like this person, but already do." She said with a giggle.
Lassiter pouted, "But I can't like him! He's a complete, total-"
"Oh, so it's a HE. I see why that might throw a wrench in your pride." She said as she looked up thoughtfully.
Lassiter face-palmed "Oh crap… you weren't supposed to hear that…" Lassiter said in slight embarrassment.
Lauren splayed herself out on the couch, tossing the pillow up in the air and catching it. "It's Shawn isn't it?"
Lassiter's eyes widened, "Sh… How did you know that? Is this one of those women who-do tricks that people talk about?"
Lauren laughed, "If by who-do you mean a woman's intuition, then yes. When I visited Santa Barbara you were so at ends with him it was borderline obsessive Carlton; Every time I talk to you about work its 'Spencer did this' or 'Spencer did that.' The last time you ever talked that much about someone was when you had arrested Victoria and she hit on you. You ranted and raved about how inappropriate and enraging she was and what happened? You married her."
Lassiter looked down, "It's not the same as it was with Victoria… Not just that he's a man."
Lauren put the phone on speaker and placed it on her chest between her breasts, laying back and closing her eyes as she yawned, "How is it not the same?"
Lassiter sighed and leaned back into the couch, splaying himself out on it lazily much like his sister was doing on the other line, "He's just… He's always been so annoying, but ever since this last case he's showing signs of weakness. Normally I look at weakness and I tear into people for showing it but with Spencer… It's almost like he's more human in my eyes."
Lauren smiled, "Well, now I know you like him. For you to actually say that you're attracted to someone who not only shows weakness, but that you're attracted to him because of it? That's something that you've never ever done."
Lassiter placed the phone on speaker and laid his head on the pillow on his couch, "But it wouldn't work. Trying to develop a relationship with him would be a disaster."
Lauren raised a brow, "Why? He seemed a bit metrosexual when I first saw him, and when I saw how he interacted with others it wasn't out of the question in my mind that he might at least be a bit bi-curious." Lauren rolled on her stomach, taking the phone and placing it on the pillow in front of her, "Is he just not showing any sort of interest?" She asked curiously.
Lassiter scratched the back of his head before turning onto his stomach, unknowingly mimicking his younger sister, "Well, he's staying at my place… He doesn't really want to sleep anywhere else, and ended up in my bed with me…" When the detective heard a giggle he stuttered, "W-We didn't do anything! He made me breakfast in the morning and covered for me at work though…." Lassiter said as he rested his chin on his pillow.
Lauren rolled his eyes, "If that isn't showing interest then I have no idea what that is Carlton. Sounds to me like if you kissed him he'd be dragging you to the bedroom for some playtime."
Lassiter glared at the phone, "That's the problem. Spencer has never ever shown this much interest in me, and I'm worried that he isn't doing these things because of a naturally occurring attraction."
"What the heck do you mean it's not a naturally occurring attraction? If it's an attraction, of course it's naturally occurring…"
Lassiter felt a headache coming on, "Look. This last case was very… hard on Spencer, and I can tell that the main reason why he wanted to stay was because he is psychologically unsound and is afraid. Even if he is being a bit more clingy and kind, it's probably because he's using me to feel safe and secure. That isn't a naturally occurring attraction. That's an attachment disorder" Lassiter said quietly.
Lauren bit her bottom lip, "Hmm… Well then, maybe you should just stick to helping him through this as best as you can. I can sort of see why he picked you as his security blanket, so just continue to indulge him."
Lassiter raised a brow, "What do you mean by that? Why would anyone feel like I even remotely resemble a security blanket? I'm intimidating. People run from me Lulu; they don't seek me out for protection." The detective said dryly.
Lauren smiled, leaning back as she reminisced, "When I was a little girl, you always took care of me. No matter how much trouble I was in, I knew all I had to do is run to my Binky and he'd keep me safe. I looked up to you Carlton, I respected you, but most of all I trusted you with my life." She said with a sincere tone, her eyes twinkling a bit as she grabbed a stuffed bear from the top of her couch. "Sure, people fear you, but if Shawn knows you and he should if he's psychic, then he probably sees you as a good friend who he can count on."
Lassiter thought back on his time with Spencer, realizing that the psychic had always come to him first when he was really in a bind. Yes he confided in O'Hara, and he spent most of his time with Guster, and took advice from his father but when push came to shove and he was in a state of weakness, the younger man always fell back on him. What surprised Lassiter the most was that he realized he had eventually started wanting to help Spencer over the years. He found himself more than once throwing his judgment to the wind, and doing his best to help the psychic in his endeavors.
"Oh god…" Lassiter breathed, "…I actually care." The detective said in disbelief.
Lauren smiled warmly, "Yes. You're human just like the rest of us. I'm sorry that you had to accept that Carlton." She said as she got up off the couch, grabbing a stack of clothes, "Sounds like you need family support. I'm packing a bag and heading to Santa Barbara." She said with a small laugh.
Lassiter sputtered a bit and sat up, "What? Right now? Lulu, you don't have to do that for me."
Lauren stretched, "Too late Carlton. I'm already getting tickets. I'll be there in 9 hours tops so don't go blowing your chances with Shawn until I've gotten there to work my magic." She chirped.
"B-But Lulu-"
"It's okay. I gotta go Carlton. See you later, buh-bye!" She finished with a small kissy noise before hanging up.
Lassiter leaned back on his couch, "This is going to be a nightmare…" Lassiter breathed out.
"What's gonna be a nightmare Lassie?
Lassiter turned and saw Shawn in the doorway, immediately looking down to the floor when he saw the man was wearing nothing but a towel. "Oh… My sister's coming over to visit me. Nothing too important" Lassiter said quietly.
Shawn smiled brightly, "Well that's good! I haven't seen little Lulu in a few years. You two really need to catch up Lassie-face." Shawn said as he plopped down on the couch by the rigid detective. "Anyway, uhh, kinda embarrassing but can I borrow a shirt? I retrieved my clothes from the dryer and they're kinda torn. I tried them on and swore all I'd need was a hockey mask and I could pass for a super-natural serial killer who stalks college kids in a cabin in the woods." Shawn quipped
Lassiter scratched the back of his head nervously, "Yeah, there's clothes in my dresser; there's only dress shirts though."
Shawn smiled and patted the detective on the back, "Eh no problem, I can work anything." Shawn said with an air of confidence before getting up and stretching, "Oh, Gus texted me and wondered if it's alright if he swings by and picks me up. I know you're probably gonna head to work, and being that Lassie is a good dog that won't rest till all his work is done, I figured you'd want to get to that ASAP."
Lassiter nodded and got up, clearing his throat as he kept his eyes trained to the floor, "That's-That's fine… Uhh, Spencer?" Lassiter said warily.
Shawn turned around and leaned against the wall casually, "What's up Lassie?"
Lassiter scratched the back of his head, his gut knotting at how shattering this was to his pride, "If… If you want to come back and stay with me again… Don't hesitate to ask alright? I won't turn you away." Lassiter said quietly.
Shawn looked Lassiter over, surprised that the man was willing to let him stay again. "You mean it Lassie? No foolin?"
Lassiter waved his hand, like it was no big deal "Y-yeah. Sure Spencer."
Shawn stared at Lassiter in disbelief for a few more seconds, before a warm smile played on the psychic's lips, "Well, I might just take you up on that offer." Shawn said with a small chuckle, before turning and going back in the room to get dressed.
Lassiter let out a long exhale and brought his hands to his face, rubbing his temples, "Today's gonna be a long, loooong day."
Gus showed up at the house a good fifteen minutes later, thanking the detective for taking care of Shawn before dragging his unwilling friend out the door and out of Lassiter's hair. The two were now driving in awkward silence, neither of them speaking.
After fifteen minutes, Shawn finally caved and rolled his eyes, "Alright Gus, I give up. What did I do?" Shawn asked as he pouted.
Gus glared at the expanse of road before him, "Oh I dunno Shawn. Maybe it's the fact that you disappeared for three days and made me deliver a letter to Lassiter detailing a plan you didn't tell me about while I blindly led a team of police workers to a burial ground. Oh, and maybe it's the fact that LASSITER was the one who called me yesterday and told me you were fine but taking a nap, so you couldn't talk to me!" Gus seethed.
Shawn looked at Gus for a few seconds before pursing his lips and looking away, "Mmh, I can see why you'd be a bit upset about that."
Gus sighed, "Why'd you stay at Lassiter's? I know that he doesn't spend every waking moment trying to ruin your life anymore, but I still wouldn't stay even if he begged me to."
Shawn looked out the window, "I dunno. Lassie seemed lonely, so I decided to keep him company."
"Don't lie to me Shawn."
"I'm not lying to you! Gus how could you say that about your partner, your amigo, your compadre, your brother-"
"You're wearing his shirt."
"My clothes were dirty; Lassie said I could borrow this one. Plus I think it looks nice with my now-torn jeans."
"You're still lying about why you stayed over."
"No I'm not."
"I could smell your pineapple and coconut pancakes Shawn. You only bake those when you like someone, or if it's a special day for a friend."
"….It's Lassiter's birthday?"
"The hell it is. I'll never forget the day Jules threw Lassiter's party all those years ago."
"Okay you caught me. Lassie and I have become lovers behind your back. We work on cases together, I cook for him, and I sleep in bed with him. Happy?"
"Shut up Shawn."
"What, it's the truth!"
"Like hell it is! What would he even see in you anyway? In his eyes you're just a slacker who rides on your dad's coat-tails and takes all his cases."
"I'd like to think he thinks of me a bit higher than that; that was mean of you to say Gus."
Gus pulled over to the side of the road and pursed his lips. "Shawn… Please tell me you're not developing a man-crush on Lassiter." Gus said as he rubbed his temples.
Shawn looked at Gus for a bit before looking down with a smile, "Okay, I'm not developing a man crush on Lassiter." Shawn repeated.
Gus put his head on the top of the steering wheel, "Shawn, of all the people. I know from time to time you have your hetero-flexible moments where you wonder what relationships would be like with certain guys; but Lassiter? That's just a disaster waiting to happen."
Shawn pouted, "What? You said it yourself. He doesn't hate me anymore, and he's been helping us more and more on our cases."
"That's because we bring results, Shawn. It's his job."
"You just don't want to accept that one day Lassie might be your brother in law."
Gus rubbed his temples, "Look Shawn. Lassiter's been in more relationships than I can count, and they've all ended horribly, and with him shooting portraits of his past girlfriends in the shooting range. The last thing I need is for you to egg him on only to change your mind a week later and have him hate you."
"And what makes you think that's gonna happen?"
Gus scratched the back of his head, "To be honest… Your marriage with Jules has kind of made me realize you might not be the relationship type Shawn…"
Shawn bit his bottom lip, putting his foot on the dashboard and leaning back, "Me and Jules… That was different. I thought we were perfect for each other… But we weren't. Turns out we're better as friends anyway."
Gus nodded, "And now you think Lassiter's this swell guy that you can just swoop in on and just start a relationship with? He's not exactly the kind of guy you wanna rebound with Shawn."
Shawn resigned to looking out the window. "You're right… Maybe… I don't know …" Shawn face palmed, "Oh god I sound like a woman."
Gus sighed, "Look Shawn… If you really think that this could work out for you, and if you go for it I hope that it does, then ease into the relationship. Every time you like someone what do you do? You go for it and try to press yourself into the other person's life without testing the waters. That's probably going to just make Lassiter want to shoot you."
Shawn nodded. "Don't jump into it and try to see how Lassie feel's first. Got it." Shawn summarized.
Gus smiled, "Good. Now let's head to your dad's. I'm starving." Gus said as he started up the car, heading straight for Henry's house.
When I wake up in the mornings, I wake up like Shawn did; hugging my pillow like a little fetus. I pity the man who marries me unless he gets me one of those body pillows XD
I've also made those pancakes that Shawn made for Lassie-face. They are goooooood. X)
For those of you who aren't that far into the series, Yes Lassiter has a sister, Lauren Lassiter, who came out in the episode "Dead Bear Walking" Go look up screenshots of her, she's gorgeous.
On that note, sorry if anyone thinks Lassiter acted a teensy bit OC when he was talking to his sister. I re-watched the episode where she came out and felt like he acted way different around her, hence the change in personality. They seemed pretty close as well, so he's a bit nicer with her as you can see.
Review and stuff! See you soon!