Chapter 4

The ship was buzzing with activity the next morning as Serenity coasted down to a lonely cliffside on Boros. Wash was interspersing planetary reports with husbandly advice over the intercom, which Zoe replied to with an eloquent roll of her eyes. The Captain and Jayne were busy filling every hidden nook and cranny in the cart with heavy artillery while Kaylee scanned the engine for any trouble spots. Simon was pushing a stuffed medikit into Zoe's hands while Jayne complained—something that was well-established habit, it seemed. The big lummox seemed to think he was invincible.

From her spot perched up on the catwalks, Rose watched the busy operation with a practiced eye. The crew obviously knew how to work together, and was well used to running as a team. There was a quiet thud beside Rose, and she jumped and turned to see a slender teenage girl with solemn dark eyes studying her.

Rose stood with a wide smile. "Oh, hello! I didn't know there was somebody else I hadn't met yet. I'm Rose, Rose Tyler. What's your name?"

The girl kept studying her, a faint line creasing between her dark eyebrows. She nodded decisively. "You're much more than Rose Tyler." Her head cocked to the side. "You are the stuff of legend."

Rose stiffened, her hand still extended towards the girl. "How do you know that?"

The girl flinched and sat down heavily on the grating, curling her body in on itself. "I... I'm more than River Tam." She looked up at Rose, and Rose almost gasped at the pain in her dark eyes. "I didn't want to be more than River, but they made me."

"Oh, sweetheart." Rose sat down carefully beside the girl—River—and put her arm around her thin shoulders. "What happened to you?"

River leaned into her, resting her head against Rose's shoulder. "River used to be just a girl. Now she's broken. They broke her, and all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put her back together again."

Rose winced in sympathy. "Change like that is never easy, is it? You have to re-learn yourself, and sometimes there are things you'd rather not know."

River turned large dark eyes up to Rose's warm brown eyes, where flecks of gold danced in the irises.

"I've killed men before." River's eyes widened in remembered adrenaline. "It was so easy. Bang, and a person is just a body."

Rose inhaled a long breath, released it. Her eyes drifted far beyond the metal hull of the ship. "I can't say I've never taken a life before. I can say I've never forgotten the lives I've taken." She sighed, and the years that were invisible on her face weighed low on her shoulders. "No one sane likes to think about it, but sometimes the only option is death." She turned back to River. "What would have happened if those men lived?"

River's head was tucked against her shoulder again. Rose had to lean her head down to hear the girl's quiet reply. "The Captain wouldn't have been rescued, and we all would have died." She looked up at Rose again. "It was right, and it was so easy." She tucked her head down again. "They were people, but it was so easy."

Rose watched her pensively. "I don't think I can say something to make it all right, but I do know this: it may have been easy then, but it's hard now." Her eyes darkened. "You just have to watch that it never becomes easy all the time."

River's head stayed down. "We met a man like that, not too long ago. He was looking for me. People weren't people, to him. Just objects. River wasn't River, she was a reward. Kaylee was a body. Simon was a tool. All because he was looking for River."

"Hey." Rose turned River's face to her own. "Listen, I've been all across this universe, and plenty of other ones besides. You can't blame yourself for what some nutter does to try to do to get to you. All you can do is try your best to stop 'em. If you take responsibility for what all the people around you do, you'll go mad. I'm not sayin' that you can't ever influence 'em, but remember: they're their own people, in the end. They made their choices. All you can do is decide how you'll respond."

A thumping step drew both girls' attention towards the stairs, where Simon was dragging himself up with a wince. Rose cocked an eyebrow.

"Y'know, if you are a doctor, you should know to stay off that leg if it's bothering you so much."

The young medic winced again. "Yeah, but then I wouldn't get anything done."

River laid her head against Rose's shoulder again. Her muffled voice was petulant. "You aren't doing anything. You're just checking up on me."

Simon screwed up his face thoughtfully. "There is that."

Rose chuckled, remembering Mickey's overprotectiveness, even when she'd outnumbered him in field hours by the hundreds. "I wouldn't let it bother you too much, River. It seems to be a bloke thing. They'll always feel the need to watch out for us poor swooning females." Her grin was positively feral, and River watched Simon with detached amusement as he turned red and protested.

Rose laughed and ignored him. "So how come I didn't see River at dinner yesterday?"

Simon turned redder, if possible, and began to spin a story about how his sister was sickly and needed extra rest some nights. River interrupted brusquely, rolling her eyes as Simon tried to create a plausible excuse. "They don't want too many people to know about me. The Alliance wants to find me again, and I don't want to be found."

Simon caught his face in his hand. "River! This whole 'in hiding' thing? It involves hiding! As in, not telling everyone your life story!"

Rose snickered again, and Simon turned worried eyes to her. She saw the honest concern for his sister there and was touched by it, even if the boy seemed to have a foot perpetually near his mouth. She smiled brightly at him, and watched him with amusement as he relaxed instinctively and then tensed self-consciously again. "Don't worry, Doctor Tam. I'm no more a friend of the Alliance than you are, and I'm not particularly interested in money."

Simon snorted at that. "Everyone's interested in money, eventually. It just depends on how much."

Rose blinked, surprised at the bleak cynicism from the young doctor. An irate voice sounded from behind Simon, and he jumped as Kaylee walked up the steps.

"Now, that ain't true and you know it! Some people care about far more than just money, and don't you forget it!" She glared at him as he flushed, and Rose and River looked at each other and smirked. Kaylee caught their looks and blinked. "What?"

Rose's eyes were dancing, but her tone was perfectly innocent as she asked, "So. What's the team up to today?"

Kaylee grinned, but it was more like a veneer than her usual beaming smile. "Oh, the Captain's just picking up a delivery."

One of Rose's eyebrows lifted. Odd, how a delivery around here involved heavy artillery.

Kaylee coughed, a loud noise in the suddenly tense silence. "So, anybody up for a round of cards? Jayne's gone, so we don't have to worry about no cheatin'."

River stood abruptly, her head cocked to the side. "You should tell me about who you're searching for, Bad Wolf."

Rose flinched, and Kaylee frowned in confusion. "Bad Wolf? What's that about?"

"Old nickname. C'mon, River, I'll tell you. You two have fun." She winked at Kaylee, who blushed but still looked delighted. Simon still seemed a little wary, but River gave him a look that reminded Rose strongly of Jackie Tyler on the warpath and he subsided.

River led Rose down through the loading bay back to the passenger downs and stopped, staring intently at Rose. "Simon can be rude, but he means well. He just wants to keep the universe away from me."

Rose nodded, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she opened the door to her dorm and sat on the bed. "Don't worry, River. I understand. Mickey could be a lot like that, sometimes."

The girl's head cocked to the side, her long hair drifting in front of her face. "The tin dog who became a steel warrior?"

She blinked. "Yeah, I guess. That's not a bad description for 'im. Certainly fits him better than 'Mickey the Idiot'." She looked over at River again, watching her consideringly. "Have you always been telepathic?"

River shook her head violently and perched on Rose's desk, twisting her hands around each other. "No. They opened me up, and I can't shut the door."

Rose winced and focused on the exercises she had learnt in Torchwood basic training, slowing her breath as she shielded her thoughts. A few minutes later, she let out her breath in a sigh and opened her eyes to look at the telepath. "That better?"

River was staring at her, dark eyes wide. "I can't hear you." She flickered forward, moving with a grace that was almost feline. "Why can't I hear you? It's so quiet."

"It just takes a bit of training, sweetheart. Something I learned back on good ol' Earth-that-was."

The girl frowned suddenly. "Earth-that-was is. They've hidden it in the past, beyond the screams."

Rose frowned, her eyebrows drawing together. "Who has?"

"Your Doctor knows."

Rose's eyes widened and her blood thrummed through her ears. "What do you know about him?"

River leaned forward, staring levelly at Rose. "He's not safe, Bad Wolf. He went looking in the land of the blind."

A knock sounded at the door and Rose looked away from River to see the Shepherd standing there. His face was calm, but his gaze was sharp. "River? Kaylee had to help Simon down to the infirmary, and he asked me to keep an eye on you."

River snorted and tossed her hair. "I'm fine here."

When he looked over to Rose, she smiled. "She's not bothering me, really." He nodded reluctantly and left, and Rose turned back to River. "Simon always this protective of you? How old are you, anyway?"

She shrugged. "Age is just a matter of experiences lived, don't you think?"

Rose cocked her head, curious. "Wait, were you near the kitchen last night?"

"Don't need to be." She sat next to Rose, staring into her eyes. "Can your Doctor fix me?"

Rose bit her lip. "I dunno, River. I don't know what's been done to you, and I don't even know where he is. I've been searching for him for years, and this is where the trail ends."

"You'll find him." River's voice was quiet, but firm.

Looking into the girl's dark eyes, Rose swallowed. "You sure about that? 'Cause I'm sure as hell not."

River smiled suddenly and flopped back down on the bed. "I'm sure. Change is coming, and the storm will block out the sun."