A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Okay, I am so sorry I haven't posted lately, I've had this weird thing where all I've been able to do was sleep, and the two hours I was awake I used to do my school work so yeah, sorry Anyway, in this bit Kurt goes shopping, yay!
So well, Justin's reactions whilst shopping was me when I got off the plane when I came back home after going to Florida for three weeks. The first thing I did was try to find a vending machine that had Cadburys and prawn cocktail crisps. Loved the food and restaurants in America, but there are some things you tend to miss. Although when I go back this year I'm buying like, a hundred packs of Reece's cups because they cost like £5 over here haha.
WARNING: Slightly bad language and innuendos. That is all. I think...
Kurt had woken earlier than Blaine that morning and had decided to leave him snoozing in bed as he made his way to the kitchen where he found Aaron sat at the dining table eating a bowl of cornflakes. He looked up as Kurt entered and smiled warmly.
"Morning Kurt, sleep well? I'm surprised you're up this early actually, you've got used to the time difference quickly. What I'm more surprised about is the fact you haven't been scared half to death by the guys, they're about as crazy as a box of cats." Aaron observed.
Kurt laughed. "Well everything's going to be so different here and it's all really exciting so it's hard not to stay awake. As for your friends they're... different and according to Justin, different is good."
"Ah, but what about according to you?" Aaron pointed at Kurt with his spoon.
"Hmm, well, like you said, they're about as crazy as a box of cats although I'd take them over Rachel Berry any day." Kurt shrugged.
"Who?" Aaron frowned.
"Just some egotistical girl whom I can't seem to shake out of my life."
"Aw, so you're in with the arts then." Aaron nodded understandingly.
"Yeah, but how did you..."
"As you very well know I am a dancer and actor, so I've come across many 'Rachel Berry's' in my line of work. That and Justin told me. You tell Justin, it goes by me. Unless the information is too personal that is. Want me to make you a cup of tea? Coffee? Sorry, it's fun being typically British." Aaron stood up, making his way over to the kettle and turning it on.
"If it's not too much trouble I wouldn't mind a cup of tea. Milk, no sugar, thanks." Kurt said shyly.
"Twinning's everyday tea it is then." Aaron took out a mug from a cupboard and then opened a silver pot which held all the tea bags and dropped it into Kurt's mug.
"Aren't you having any?" Kurt wondered out loud.
"Oh God no, I find Tea disgusting. It's just like slightly flavoured hot water." Aaron confessed. "Hey, I'm British in mannerisms, just not in practice."
Kurt laughed again.
"So Kurt, the guys were talking about taking you and Blaine out to a club tonight. I know the owner so I can get you two in no problem." Aaron said, his back to Kurt.
"I don't know, I haven't had very many good experiences with clubs..." Kurt trailed off.
"No?" Aaron raised an eyebrow as the kettle made a whistling sound and Aaron began to pour Kurt's tea.
"Yeah, I've been to a gay bar a couple of times." Kurt winced slightly trying to see whether Aaron would react in any way but Aaron just carried on with what he was doing, taking out Kurt's tea bag then pouring in the milk. "The first time Blaine got drunk, started dancing with my current love rival, and tried to get me to lose my V-card in the back of his car. The second time I had just broken up with Blaine and met Greg, who was nice but on a later date tried to rape me on several occasions."
"So, not very good experiences then?" Aaron handed Kurt his mug.
"Not really. Although it was fun during, the aftermath was always a pain." Kurt took a sip of his tea and sighed happily. "Are you sure you don't drink tea? This tastes amazing!"
"I definitely don't drink tea, but I am a god when it comes to making it." Aaron smiled. "And there are several reasons why your club experience didn't turn out that entirely great."
"Oh?"
"Firstly, you need to see what a real club looks like. Secondly, you've never been out with the bunch of loonies I'm stuck with. I advise you to remain sober just to watch the effects. I think Nathan woke up on the roof of his house once. Justin woke up tied naked to a lamp post and I think Dior ended up breaking his Nan's loo seat as well as waking up an hour away from the party in his aunt's back garden without knowing how he got there."
"Sounds like fun. But I don't really drink anymore. Let's just say both me and my teachers agree." Kurt winced at the memory. Oh well, her shoes were ugly anyway.
"You don't have to be drunk to have a good time Kurt you know," Aaron said. "I haven't had a drink in years, well enough to drink to get like tipsy. I'm always the designated driver, but trust me; alcohol hasn't been kind to me either."
Just then Justin walked in fully dressed with an empty mug in his hands.
"Oh, you're up Kurt. Mornin'." Justin yawned. "Thanks for the drink Aaron; I'm awake now I think." Justin then walked into a wall.
"Yeah, sure, wiiiide awake." Aaron rolled his eyes. "Hey, tell Kurt about that Christmas I wasn't there."
"And what Christmas would that be?" Justin frowned, rubbing his head and sending Kurt daggers while he sniggered behind his hand.
"You know, when the guys made the mistake of falling asleep before you did."
"Oh, that Christmas." Justin smiled evilly. "Well we were all off our faces you see, and when the guys eventually fell asleep not even world war three could wake them up. I was still wide awake, and a drunk me tends to get bored pretty easily."
"The short version is the guys woke up outside the house, tied together and in their underwear. A very traumatised neighbour helped them out and when they finally got back into the house through the bathroom window they found Justin asleep in the kitchen sink and their clothes going for sale on eBay." Aaron summarised.
Kurt stared at Justin open mouthed. "Can that... Can that actually happen?"
"Trust me, around these toddlers anything can happen. Including exploding microwaves." Aaron looked at Justin pointedly.
"Hey it was one time and a viable experiment!" Justin snapped.
"Putting a bag of flour in the microwave is not a viable experiment." Aaron rolled his eyes. "Anyway, shenanigans aside, you ready J?"
"Shenanigans? Who uses that word anymore?" Justin wrinkled his nose.
"Ready for what?" Kurt asked.
"Justin and I are going shopping, wanna come too?"
"I'd love to! Beats waking up to the rest of the house. I'll just leave Blaine a note if that's alright with you?"
"Sure thing."
"Right Kurt, we need you to go and grab a trolley while I get some money out and Justin parks the car." Aaron instructed.
"Trolley?"
"Oh, erm, shopping cart?"
"Okay cool." Kurt had a bit of fun trying to get the cart un-attached to the others but with one final tug, he ripped it away managing to elbow Justin in the stomach.
"Oh my God! I am so sorry Justin!" Kurt cried.
"Its... alright... don't worry I'm not pregnant or anything so it should be fine." Justin grunted as Aaron came up behind them laughing.
"You awake yet Justin?" Aaron joked.
"'M now, thanks for the concern." Justin snapped as he climbed into the front of the shopping cart.
Aaron just rolled his eyes as he helped Kurt push the cart into Tesco's. Kurt was instantly interested in the rack of magazines as they passed it. There was Hello magazine, and Okay as well as Moshi Monsters, Go Girl and gardening and knitting. Kurt picked up one and frowned."Heat?"
"We're going to London, to buy a heat magazine!" Aaron and Justin chorused together as Justin jumped out the cart.
"Yeah, you don't really want to read that, most of these magazines are filled with gossip about British celebrities as well as the world famous ones so half of it you won't know..." Aaron began to explain.
"Who's Katie Price?" Kurt seemed to disapprove of her appearance instantly.
"Oookay Kurt, let's put that back now." Justin prized the magazine away from Kurt's hands and put it back, quickly picking up another which said Kerrang on the front in black spiky letters. "For Nowacki." Justin told Kurt.
They carried on down the fruit and vegetable aisle, Kurt randomly picking up things that he thought looked exceptionally good. It wasn't until they reached the meat and cheese counter that it was Justin's turn to go mad picking out most of everything.
"You know back in the States they have bags of grated cheese, and like these massive tins of beans in maple syrup." Justin said to Aaron.
"You can get grated bags of cheese here as well you numpty. And beans in maple syrup? Gross." Aaron wrinkled his nose.
"Actually they're really good. Kurt could you get the tomato sauce, it's just there." Justin pointed.
"Erm, which one?" Kurt frowned.
"Well it has to be Heinz." Justin smiled. "Do you know how expensive Heinz ketchup is back in the States? I've had to go without for like, ages."
"Oh you poor thing."
"Oh my god! Where's the sweet and chips aisle?" Justin suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.
"Further down and the chips are in the frozen section." Aaron nodded in the direction.
"I meant crisps, CRISPS MAN!" Justin gripped Aaron's shoulders.
"I know." Aaron smirked. "They're in the aisle before the sweets I think, oh and the fizzy drinks."
Justin instantly grabbed Kurt's sleeve as Kurt dropped the ketchup into the shopping cart. "Cadbury's! Iron Bru! Prawn cocktail flavoured crisps! I'm coming for you!" Justin cried as he ran, dragging Kurt along behind him.
As Justin turned down the right aisle, he dropped Kurt's arm. "Honey I'm home!" He shouted, getting quite a lot of attention as he flung himself at one of the shelves, picking up a giant bag of Monster Munch and Walker's crisps.
"Hey, they use the same symbol as Lay's." Kurt observed, picking up one of the packets.
"Yep, they're the same company, but only here can I get my favoured Prawn cocktail crisps." Justin hugged the bag, burying his face into it. "I'm in love." He sighed. "Right, next we have the sweets."
"Isn't the candy here relatively the same though?" Kurt wondered out loud.
Justin turned slowly to face Kurt. "Oh no," He grinned evilly. "The candy here has much more sugar." And then Justin was off running again.
"I don't think Justin needs anymore sugar." Kurt muttered.
When Aaron and Kurt had calmed Justin down, they finished shopping, paid then left. As soon as they pulled up into the drive they were met with a sight they definitely weren't expecting.
Aaron, Justin and Kurt got out and ran to the front door to find Nowacki standing outside it with absolutely nothing on, banging his fist on the wood and shouting loudly.
"NATHAN!" Nowacki bellowed. "NATHAN! YOU ARESHOLE!" Nowacki kicked the door. "OPEN UP YOU GIANT PRICK!"
Justin coughed behind Nowacki who instantly turned round. Kurt squeaked and covered his eyes as Aaron crossed his arms and face palmed.
Justin quickly picked up a potted plant and handed it awkwardly to Nowacki. "Erm, you might want to cover up, there are some things none of us want to see in this life time."
Nowacki blushed and gratefully took the pot from Justin. "Right, err sorry. I was getting dressed and Nathan thought it'd be funny to push me out the front door." Nowacki grumbled.
"How did you even get to be anywhere near the front door?" Aaron said, exasperated.
"It's a long story." Nowacki shrugged.
"One which I'd be happy not to hear thank you very much." Kurt refused to take his hand away from his eyes.
"Yeah, from the looks of it, it's not a very good story." Justin agreed. "Right, out the way and let me open the door." Justin shoved Nowacki and put the key in the lock, allowing the door to swing inwards before he noticed Nathan trying to hide behind the couch. "Don't think you can't be seen you twat. Just for this you can bring in the shopping on your own." Justin instructed.
"It wasn't just me!" Nathan magically revealed himself. "Dior helped!"
"No, it was all me I swear... Ow!" Dior tried to imitate Nathan from behind the couch until Nathan wacked him on the head. Apparently Dior had been faster when ducking down.
"Dior, you too, come on out!" Justin tapped his foot expectantly as Dior and Nathan grumbled past him and sent daggers at Nowacki who had only just managed to get in the front door. "Nowacki, go and get dressed."
"You have no idea how much Justin and I feel like parents." Aaron shook his head just as Blaine walked into the room covered in icing sugar.
"I know how you feel." Kurt smiled at Aaron as Blaine beamed and ran over to Kurt. "What have you been doing so early in the day?" Kurt addressed Blaine.
"Well I told the guys you made these really cool snowflakes out of meringue and they wanted to see, but it's gone kinda wrong because I did it like you said, and the mixture is really stiff, but I just can't get it up like you can." Blaine said.
Jacob had just walked into the room and choked on his drink as Nathan and Dior, having just got in with the first load of shopping began to laugh hysterically.
"Okay, we definitely walked in at the wrong moment because all we heard was ... really stiff, but I can't get it up like you can." Dior sniggered.
"Blaine!" Kurt blushed. "The correct word is peaked! You couldn't make it peak!"
Jacob choked again.
"Yeah, that's also the wrong word of choice." Nathan retorted.
Kurt groaned. "What happens when you make meringue is for it to be ready, the mixture needs to be stiff and when you take the spoon out the mixture around the spoon comes up to a point, so it peaks. Get it?"
"I see now. Yeah that's slightly less sexual. Only slightly though." Nathan shrugged.
"For god sakes, grow up and get the shopping into the kitchen." Aaron gave in. He wasn't amused at all.
"I better go clean up Blaine's mess." Kurt looked at Blaine then instantly regretted his choice of words as the guys started laughing again.
"Oh god, I so walked into that one." Kurt covered his face with his hands.
"More like ran." Dior shouted from the kitchen.
Kurt followed Blaine into the kitchen while Dior started rifling through the shopping bags. "Hey Justin!" he yelled.
"What?" Justin came through feeling that Kurt might need some help with 'supervising' the 'kids'.
"You buy any mayonnaise?" Dior asked, picking out some tins and putting them away.
"No, we're students Dior; we don't have any money for luxury items such as mayonnaise." Justin said.
"And yet you buy ketchup, not the shops own brand may I add, fifty bars of Cadbury chocolate..."
"Which are all different by the way."
"... I'm pretty sure you can buy Cadbury in the States. And look! Ten bags of prawn cocktail crisps, which are all multi packs." Dior crossed his arms and stared at Justin expectantly.
"I have needs!" Justin whined.
"We all have needs Justin, like my need for mayonnaise!"
"I know how to make mayonnaise." Kurt jumped in.
Dior and Justin turned to Kurt. "You do?" They said together.
"Yep, it's a simple emulsion involving eggs and olive oil and to flavour you add mustard powder and vinegar." Kurt said.
"We are so doing this, okay we need eggs," Dior dived into one of the shopping bags then opened up a cupboard. "Olive oil, mustard powder and," Dior came up slamming a bottle onto the counter. "Vinegar."
Nathan came in, his arms full with about five bags. "Err, Dior, I thought you were supposed to be helping me!"
"Kurt's going to show me how to make mayonnaise!" Dior beamed.
Nathan instantly dropped the bags on the floor. "Okay, I so have to see this."
"Guys! We need to bring in the shopping!" Justin exclaimed.
"Yeah, yeah, after this." Nathan waved Justin off.
Justin huffed. "Fine, I'll bring the shopping in, but whatever else is in those bags, none of you can have any of it."
"I need an empty jar of some sort." Kurt continued. Nathan opened up another cupboard which was filled with empty glass jars.
"Students tend to recycle." Dior said.
Kurt opened the lid of the jar. He cracked one egg into it then filled the jar about a third of the way up with oil. He then replaced the lid and began shaking the jar with all his might.
Nathan subtly nudged Blaine in the ribs. "Don't get too excited ay." He winked.
"Is everything you guys say or hear an innuendo?" Blaine scoffed.
"Pretty much."
Despite the muscles in his arm, Kurt began to get tired so he passed the jar over to Dior who seemed to be bouncing around anticipating his go. After a while, Kurt told him to stop and added more oil, and then later another egg as the Jar was passed to Nathan. After Blaine's go the jar then left the kitchen to be passed to various other people until Kurt added the last ingredients.
"There." Kurt smiled.
Dior tried it and instantly fell in love. "Okay, this is better than shop bought and I can work on my muscles!"
"Awesome!" Nathan agreed.
"Oh no!" Blaine cried as he clutched his mixing bowl to his chest. He had forgotten all about the meringue. "It's not stiff anymore." Blaine made a sad face.
"Yeah, that's what she said." Nathan remarked.
Kurt picked up the spoon in Blaine's hand and threw it at Nathan. "Stop thinking about sex!"
"You know Blaine; I was talking to Aaron this morning." Kurt began, stirring the mixture in the bowl.
It was just Kurt and Blaine in the kitchen after Justin had grumbled about ungrateful friends living in his house when he wasn't even there most of the time. Justin finished packing the shopping away and left to go and annoy Aaron leaving Blaine and Kurt on they're own. Kurt had no idea what Blaine had done wrong with the mixture, so decided to make a new batch.
"You're getting on pretty well with Aaron and Justin huh?" Blaine mused.
"Yep, and you're doing pretty well with the sex addicts, by the way, what is it with you and liking guys who spout suggestive comments all the time?" Kurt changed the direction he was stirring, moving the spatula in a figure of eight.
"Oh come on, like who?" Blaine put a finger into the bowl, taking it out and trying the mixture.
"Err, Sebastian?" Kurt hit Blaine's hand, annoyed. "And that's raw egg you know!"
"I don't think Sebastian is as bad as these guys." Blaine defended.
"No of course not, just his comments are purposely aimed at you." Kurt sighed. "So anyway, Aaron asked me if we'd like to go to a club tonight. What do you think?"
"Aren't we underage? Plus I thought you didn't like me drinking." Blaine tried to get at the bowl again but Kurt moved it away.
"Nope, Aaron knows the owner, but I guess you can drink seeing as there isn't anybody else who you'd get off with other than me, and you wouldn't try anything because we'll be with other people all the time." Kurt failed to stop Blaine this time as he moved around Kurt, poking Kurt in his side making Kurt jump so that he was distracted enough for Blaine to steal more mixture.
"Hey, you're making me out to be a really bad boyfriend." Blaine wrapped one arm around Kurt's waist, placing the uncooked meringue on Kurt's nose.
"Oh, but you are." Kurt teased, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
"Really now," Blaine rubbed his nose against Kurt's.
"Of course mister 'flirts with everybody'." Kurt placed a quick kiss on Blaine's lips. Blaine moved to pull Kurt closer, pressing his lips against Kurt's, making it last longer.
"Come on guys, we all live here you know." Nowacki remarked as he walked in and opened the fridge. "Okay, whose bright idea was it to put my magazine in the fridge?"
"Don't be mean, they're in love, and last I checked, whenever you were with your girlfriend you couldn't stop yourself from ramming your tongue down her throat." Jacob said on his way past. "For three hours!"
"You're just jealous that I actually have a girlfriend." Nowacki scoffed.
"I do have a girlfriend." Jacob snapped.
"Didn't I give you that message?" Nowacki closed the fridge door, a can in one hand and his magazine in the other.
"Oh ha ha, you're so very funny." Jacob said sarcastically as Nowacki finally left the kitchen.
Kurt giggled, lacing his fingers with Blaine's as Blaine pressed a kiss against his neck.
"We should finish up before the meringue goes flat again." Blaine suggested.
"Please Blaine; my meringue is made of sturdier stuff than yours." Kurt mused.
"We used the same ingredients Kurt." Blaine chuckled.
"Yeah, but my technique is better."
"You're just so... Kurt." Blaine breathed.
"Quick, someone pass me a bucket, the cuteness is making me feel sick!" Nowacki called out.
There was a thudding sound and a muffled cry. "Shut up Nowacki, just because you can't get laid." Nathan retorted.
Sorry not a lot happened this chapter. I've been wondering if anyone else says things like I do, because when I asked for a tin of coke my friends are like, don't you mean can? but I've always called it a tin or I'd ask for a tinny at home. But my parents say that too, like a hair band is a woggle for me and an alice band is hair band, and then the TV remote is called buttons and people just look at me strangely...
Okay, the plan for next chapter, Blaine and Kurt get introduced to the flash mob, then clubbing, then visit to London. Cool . And the meringue incident was actually me and my sister with my best friend and her BF. Let's just say me and my best friend taught my ten year old sister something we shouldn't have that day, or rather, left her really confused. Geez, I need to find some more mature friends. *face palms* honestly, I'm going to get so many problems when I'm in my old age.
KurtandBlaineGleek: Sigh, I didn't get Darren and Chris in love either but at least they have bromance, which we're not sure about beacuase I don't think they can show it in public because people make really mean comments :(.. I'm sure England want's you to! I advise you go to a music concert and shopping and the London dungeons and the tower of London. Just bring an umbrella.
ColferFan1217: You can have my friends if you want, I have little use for them (kidding) XD
TakeABow9: NO YOU ROCK! And apparently, yep it does fall on a valentines day (I think) and I've heard that Damian isn't leaving anytime soon... I've heard, not entirely sure though XD
ExotikaHollow1379: God, I know, the jokes are absolutely awful and I'm surrounded by them all day everyday T^T
fightsilence: I can't believe the story has come this far either seeing as I have next to no plot XD
offtolimabean : yep, Blaine gave Kurt a HOME MADE ! :O ring for christmas and they cut it from the episode. I was not happy T_T We all have to wait for the DVD now so I'm sulking. But I've heard that scene will be on the DVD so fingers crossed.
lilmiss-swagger: Don't worry my family think I'm crazy too, mainly because I randomly laid down on the kitchen floor, but that was because I was hiding and we have an island and I'll shut up now.
Bobsical101: Yeah, I'm surprised no ones written a wife beater Blaine fic yet... not that I'm complaining! :O
Thanks guys for sticking with me all this time!
Bobsical101
lilmiss-swagger
SlightlyPyschoPrincess
offtolimabean
gleefan263
PrettyLittleScars
fightsilence
leahmo34
ExotikaHollow1379
TakeABow9
Azrael Blood
ColferFan1217
KurtandBlaineGleek
Review? (even though I don't deserve it coz I took so long and gave you a rubbish chapter *sniff* ) love Bertie xx