Lystra's POV
Over the next few days, we settled into a kind of routine. I woke up with the sun, going to the kitchens to request some food – enough, as I said, to feed myself, Sparkle, and Kayton breakfast. When I returned to the room with the food, Rayne and Kayton would be sitting at the newly placed table, deep in conversation – Rayne wanted to know about District 11; about the people, the houses, the food; she wanted to know about the customs; she wanted to know if there was any sea. But, above all of that, she wanted to know of the future. Kayton and I could tell her very little on this subject, but one thing, above all was sure : Rayne would be spending a lot of time indoors over the next few years . . . that is to say . . . the rest of her life.
Depressing as though this thought was, we were all eager for the train ride to be over. I had found a yearning in my heart for the perfumed air of District 11, for my dad, and for Estella and her younger brother, Issac. My small room in the train, roomy for one person, began to feel like a small prison for the three people living in it, one 24-hours, and Kayton practically living in there too, though she slept in her own room. We were beginning to find that there was simply not enough room for us all; Rayne slept in a chair while Sparkle and I slept in the bed. Trash littered the floor, and Rayne's nerves were extremely high strung. She had never been inside so long before, and continuously paced the floor, wringing her hands. Sparkle watched Rayne paced, confused. She liked Rayne very much, but not her in her snapping mood. Instead, she turned to Kayton, who proved to be full of clever dances and songs to pass the time. And, before we knew it, we were all walking around the train, humming random bars of "The Falling Apple" or "Pumpkins" or "1, 2, 3, Seeds".
I, however, spent the time looking at my drawings. Occasionally, I drew more; of Rayne and myself, escaping the watery graveyard of District 4; of Sparkle laughing and singing. But mostly, I just looked through the pictures. I asked Kayton to get me a box for them, and she brought me a sort of chest. Carefully, I arranged the pictures into the chest, occasionally bringing them out to examine them.
Slowly, we went through all of the districts, and I gave the pictures of the tributes to themselves, and their families. I was shocked to tears in District 7, where the body of Mazie was actually Mazie, whom the young President had killed. He, however, did not seemed startled by this fact, and treated Mazie's body with the same kind of cold respect he had for the others.
The following day, we buried Totsie, which made me quite as sad, though I managed not to cry. Sparkle's hand gripped mine tightly – she remembered Totsie from the television, and was confused by the fact that she was there, apparently asleep.
And then, in 9, we buried the two adopted careers, Salena Flamel, and Carter James. I regretted their loss as much as the others, and my words of sorrow were as genuine as they had been when I spoke for Totsie, Mazie, Luna, and Rayne.
In 10, we buried Echo, which I found also startling and saddening. Some days, I thought during the funeral, I felt as though the sorrow of all the losses were laying down on me, creating a mound of earth, suffocating me. But when I awoke the next morning, those thoughts were gone as Sparkle encouraged me to sing "1, 2, 3, Seeds" to her.
And then, the next day, was the day that we were in District 12, burying Lillibet and Spade. After my annual speech at the funeral, and the usual feast afterwards, I headed back to the train. I was tired, and the next day, I was going home. I wanted to be well rested.
So I put Sparkle to bed, and Rayne fell asleep too, on her chair in the corner of the room. I, too, tried to sleep, but found myself incapable of the action. I tossed and turned in the bed until I was forced to accept that I wouldn't be sleeping that night. Silently, I swung my legs out of the bed, standing up, and going over to the desk, where I took out the chest, and flicked through the pictures, the eerie silence and peace coming over me.
And that's when the instinct told me what I needed to do.
I grabbed the chest, and walked out of the train, sticking to the shadows, hoping that the cameras wouldn't see me. I had bigger things to worry about that night. I stuck to the backs of the dark, bland houses, walking along the iron electric, humming fence, not knowing where I was going exactly, but knowing I would know when I was there.
And then I was standing in a small meadow of flowers. I knew this was the right place.
I knew what I had to do now. I bent down, and began to scoop out the dirt of the meadow, making a hole into which I placed the chest, covering it up again. I glanced back at it a moment, feeling slightly regretful. All of my memories of the last horrible weeks were in that chest. But then my hand fluttered to my heart. They were all there. Someone else would need to see them; later, not now.
And, with that, I left the meadow, heading back for the train, which I entered. Upon reaching my room, I gazed upon the sleeping Rayne and Sparkle. They were my life now, along with Kayton, Dad, Estella, and Issac. The others : Mazie, Totise, Nich, Echo, Luna, Tanner, Lillibet, Spade, and the others, were part of the past now. Their memories deserved to be treasured, remembered, but left behind. I had to leave my grief.
And, gazing upon my sleeping friends, I found that I could easily do this.
And, with a slight sigh, I climbed into the bed. Sparkle cuddled closer to me, her thumb in her mouth. The sight of the made up my mind, and as I pictured Tanner, I knew this was what he had wanted. A single tear trickled down my cheek as I fell into a deep, undisturbed sleep.